Am i wrong for this?

[Bobbleowl90]

It’s weird. I’d not want to gate crash a couples holiday!

 

[newtoyou]

It would be weird the first time and any time after that! A day out, fine, but a whole holiday? Weird and awkward!

 

[Ilando]

100% weird. Definitely lock your bedroom door if you do decide to let him join you on holiday

 

[BettyCrocker]

It’s very very weird. The fact that the friend asked is weird but it’s also a bit odd that your boyfriend didn’t just tell him no when he asked.... all very odd.

 

[Curlywurly85]

Totally right to say no!

 

[jarv]

Nope you're definitely in the right here, It's a bit surprising he even asked tbh!

 

[Pixipoppy]

No, you’re right it’s strange. If there was a group of you, or he was also bringing a partner it would be less so... but just him third wheeling your first holiday together.. nah

 

[Penguinandthepinecone]

Maybe your boyfriend has holidayed with him before, and his friend has this vision that it’d just be like that with the ‘new girlfriend’ tagging along. Especially as we’ve been in lockdown he might have no idea that you’re a serious couple having a couples holiday. Also your boyfriend might be looking out for his mate, who might have been very isolated during lockdown if he’s been single. I wouldn’t want anyone joining my holiday either, but maybe you could plan a couple of day trips at different points in the future and make it clear he’s welcome to join you on those instead...might be easier for your boyfriend to break the bad news too if he can make some alternative suggestions to his mate. Always better to have a boyfriend who is happy to have you close to his friends and let them get to know you, rather than one who doesn’t let you near them and almost leads two lives keeping you as hidden as possible

 

[BettyCrocker]

I wouldn’t really say it’s weird that my partner brought it up with me. It’s quite healthy for a couple to talk about things like this. I feel happy that he did. It shows he’s comfortable with me. We frequently talk about things. I’m quite happy in the fact that we have a very comfortable relationship with great communication and we both talk about nearly everything. So it doesn’t seem weird to me because that’s my idea of perfect truthfully

Perhaps my partner thought his close friend (who is single and has never had a girlfriend before) might be feeling lonely/depressed. As he sometimes tends to sound it. Many people during this pandemic would probably relate to that. I myself don’t find it as weird in a sinister way. Also, I’m guessing you’ve experienced this before? The (Deja vu), Please do share your experience if you’re comfortable you’re obviously a very wise member of tattle and I’d greatly appreciate hearing your experience on this type of thing x


I believe the friend is 22. So still quite young I guess. I don’t really think he thought it through. I feel quite bad for him now as apparently he suffers with depression and has never had a girlfriend so I thought perhaps he felt quite lonely? But even so I know that it’s still not my problem and for my first holiday with my partner I definitely don’t want anyone else there. My partner is really kind and probably didn’t want to upset him he is so precious and I’m honestly glad he’s like that instead of just saying “fuck off you can’t come” I think I’d feel worse if he said that to him!

Thank you for all your comments. I’ve been with my partner for coming up to 7 months now, I know some people thought it was weird he didn’t say anything but honestly I really think he just didn’t want to hurt his mates feelings.

I think everyone has gone through some tough times lately, I know this isn’t even a big deal compared to all the crap that’s happened last year/this year. I appreciate your responses!

No, the deja vu is because I feel like I’ve read your posts before. You sound almost identical to a previous poster. I think you know exactly what I mean!!!!

 

[Heybooboo]

No, the deja vu is because I feel like I’ve read your posts before. You sound almost identical to a previous poster. I think you know exactly what I mean!!!!

When I read the first comment I genuinely thought this is similar stuff ‘they’ would ask

 

[BettyCrocker]

When I read the first comment I genuinely thought this is similar stuff ‘they’ would ask

Oh I have no doubt it’s the same person.

 

[Fizzwhizz2020]

I don’t think it’s weird, he’s probably just lonely and has probably spent the best part of a year alone and is as desperate as anyone to get away. So I’d be sympathetic. But I’d agree, it’s your first holiday and you should enjoy it as a couple. Maybe suggest something as an alternative. Not everyone has someone and lots of people have been incredibly lonely over the lockdown

 

[BettyCrocker]

It’s weird and inappropriate that this friend even asked.

it’s weird that your boyfriend didn’t tell him to jog on when he asked.

its weird that your boyfriend even brought it up with you.

It’s all just very weird.
I feel like I have deja vu....

 

[Alexaj]

Maybe you should plan a day trip for the three of you too? Keep him onside? When I was single, I used to hang out with my bff and her bf quite a lot... But it did NOT extend to trips away I might add!

 

[Lulu Goss]

I would have said no too. It’s weird that he’d want to come on holiday with you, why would he want to third wheel a first holiday?

 

[WilmaHun]

I'd have definitely said no. Not only because you barely know him, but also because you'll constantly feel like you can't have "alone time" with your partner as it'll always be in the back of your mind that he'll be alone and may feel left out. I can't really understand why he would want to come? Fair enough if it was a small group of you but not with just you and your partner. You're definitely not in the wrong

 

[Pinkblush]

I'd rather the feeling of loneliness than to be a third wheel. In fact going on a holiday with a couple would probably make me feel worse.

 

[justheretoread99]

I’ve been in a similar situation where me and my friend planned a girls weekend away (city break abroad) and her boyfriend asked to come with us and she said yes! Luckily corona and lockdown was just around the corner and it was cancelled. But still, I immediately thought “this is weird, a couple and 1 single friend”.

 

[Inforapenny]

Weird and don't do a day trip with him, that's treating him like a kid and unfortunately setting up a bench mark and expectations. He's weird keep at arms length

 

[Barbie2020]

Weird! No other way of putting it