Am I being unreasonable?

[linzilou]

i went to ibiza for my hen do ....me and hubby paid for the villa, everyones club entry + beach club and stocked up the fridge/wine fridge at the villa.
my hens paid for their own flights, and meals once we were there. we had one big boozy club night, one meal and a quieter night, and one takeaway pizza and watching musicals in the villa night.

this was years ago, and only went for 4 days and it was still unaffordable for some people as Ibiza is so expensive once you are out there. plenty of the girls i invited couldnt go for various reasons including the financial side but i never made them feel bad about it.

basically if i had that time again id have rather have gone to london or brighton and taken everyone with me, and all the money i spent on club entry and a villa i could have just used to take all my friends somewhere....but you live and learn haha!

 

[CoffeeMamma]

We’re having a “Bride’s Dinner” as my main hen, partly because everyone is skint AF, but also two of my family members identify as non binary and felt a bit awkward about a stereotypical hen. I also have precisely one male friend so decided to have a massive pot luck dinner at my mum’s (she has a big house) with drinks and my MOH has done a very embarrassing quiz of pictures of me through the ages. Then me and my three best girlfriends are having a spa day. I wanted everyone together, that was my main thing. If anyone else wants to go big that’s up to them but they shouldn’t rag on people who can’t afford it - especially right now.

 

[ChastityDingle]

Whatever happened to a hen night being a meal followed by a boozy evening in a nightclub and then a taxi home?
Seems like the bride has all her priorities wrong and @Clarity456, with friends like that, you’re better off without!

That's the only type I was ever at, thankfully.
I remember someone I worked with, in the year or two before she got married, she seemed to be at a hen night every month if not more. Some were definitely abroad.

I think in the end she had to start declining invitations, it was becoming so costly.

 

[orla1989]

What are you worried about? Don’t let it become a drama - decline the invitation, and that’s the end of it. Seriously, it really isn’t that big of a deal.

I wish I had your mentality, the no nonsense approach!

im more like the OP! Your friend is a cheeky cow

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

Me too I love these kinds of threads because I just know the voice of reason will be within @BettyCrockerr

 

[Behelzabobs]

What on earth happens to people when they are getting married?! This is a crazy expensive and excessive hen party. You'd think people were to starting to wise up to the wedding industry but its honestly getting worse.

I saw a week long trip to Tenerife for honeymoon referred to as a "mini moon" because apparently only long haul Maldives esque trips are acceptable for "real honeymoons" now.

taking about minimoons they said that on coronation street and I thought they must only be going away for the weekend but it was two weeks abroad ( I know it’s pretend) when did this bull start ‘minimoons’

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I'm going away for 4 days, weve called it a mini moon lol. The big two week getaway has always been seen as a 'proper' honeymoon hasnt it. Stupid really!

 

[Em_]

taking about minimoons they said that on coronation street and I thought they must only be going away for the weekend but it was two weeks abroad ( I know it’s pretend) when did this bull start ‘minimoons’

How is that a minimoon?

 

[Behelzabobs]

How is that a minimoon?

Exactly and I’m ashamed to say I spent most of that ridiculous episode wondering the same

 

[mcfeez]

taking about minimoons they said that on coronation street and I thought they must only be going away for the weekend but it was two weeks abroad ( I know it’s pretend) when did this bull start ‘minimoons’

We did essentially a 'mini moon' as our honeymoon wasn't for another 6 weeks after the wedding - but ours was 1 night at a beautiful spa hotel about an hour away from where we got married!

Just my two cents with people I know but, similar to weddings, many feel pressured to have a huge spectacular honeymoon - long haul travel to Bali/Maldives/Seychelles etc etc. But because they've also had the huge spectacular wedding they simply don't have the money to do both at the same time so do the "mini moon" instead. I suppose it gets bit much just depending on how extravagant your mini moon is.

 

[Em_]

Exactly and I’m ashamed to say I spent most of that ridiculous episode wondering the same

I’m so far behind on Corrie, the last time I watched Audrey get drink in the barbers. sorry for derailing

 

[whyhellothere83]

One of my friends wanted me to pay £2500 to go to Vegas for her hen for a few nights. It was hard to say no as I felt like I’d let her down but there’s no way I could have afforded that! Luckily, she was fine about it and a lot of people pulled out after I did.

 

[Clarity456]

One of my friends wanted me to pay £2500 to go to Vegas for her hen for a few nights. It was hard to say no as I felt like I’d let her down but there’s no way I could have afforded that! Luckily, she was fine about it and a lot of people pulled out after I did.

did she let you know 2/3 years in advance (I think you'd need that length of time to save that amount of money without it noticeably affecting your normal life)?

I don't know anyone who'd really have money in excess of £1500 just to pull from nowhere for a hen doo, what planet are these people on?!

 

[whyhellothere83]

did she let you know 2/3 years in advance (I think you'd need that length of time to save that amount of money without it noticeably affecting your normal life)?

I don't know anyone who'd really have money in excess of £1500 just to pull from nowhere for a hen doo, what planet are these people on?!

No, 9 months

 

[Tiktoklurker]

I really enjoyed this thread. I can’t believe someone would make their friends pay so much for a hen do! I would be mortified. I’d be rethinking your friendship with this one @Clarity456 her comments to you were disgusting.

I’ve my own hen do coming up next June, I (control freak) gave my MOH instructions on what I’d quite like to do (abroad - somewhere hot) and said to make sure it wasn’t expensive. She’s come back to me to say £200 each for everyone and this is a 3 day weekend abroad, she has set up direct debit options so people can pay it off. There’s 20-30 odd friends and cousins in the chat and I suspect quite a bit will drop out which is standard really.

I’ll also be having 2 other hen nights both at home in Ireland and also in England where I live for friends and family who either can’t afford it or don’t want to commit to going away. Some brides seriously think the world stops for them coming up to their wedding and it’s shocking!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I really enjoyed this thread. I can’t believe someone would make their friends pay so much for a hen do! I would be mortified. I’d be rethinking your friendship with this one @Clarity456 her comments to you were disgusting.

I’ve my own hen do coming up next June, I (control freak) gave my MOH instructions on what I’d quite like to do (abroad - somewhere hot) and said to make sure it wasn’t expensive. She’s come back to me to say £200 each for everyone and this is a 3 day weekend abroad, she has set up direct debit options so people can pay it off. There’s 20-30 odd friends and cousins in the chat and I suspect quite a bit will drop out which is standard really.

I’ll also be having 2 other hen nights both at home in Ireland and also in England where I live for friends and family who either can’t afford it or don’t want to commit to going away. Some brides seriously think the world stops for them coming up to their wedding and it’s shocking!

You are having 3 hen parties….!!!!!

 

[Tiktoklurker]

You are having 3 hen parties….!!!!!

Yes but not for everyone to go to thank god the ones in Ireland and England are just a night out in pub for older family or friends / younger family who can’t or don’t want to go to the main one. I have two very involved families now including a 80 year old grandmother who would be pissed she if she wasn’t invited

 

[Clickbait]

I’ve my own hen do coming up next June, I (control freak) gave my MOH instructions on what I’d quite like to do (abroad - somewhere hot) and said to make sure it wasn’t expensive. She’s come back to me to say £200 each for everyone and this is a 3 day weekend abroad, she has set up direct debit options so people can pay it off. There’s 20-30 odd friends and cousins in the chat and I suspect quite a bit will drop out which is standard really.

If she’s been able to source travel and 3 nights (or possibly 2 nights) accommodation abroad for £200 a head I applaud her! I mentioned the last time I organised a hen weekend was last Autumn and we stayed in the UK and I think just 2 nights accommodation was almost that amount.

The problem is that prices often rise unless you book far enough in advance. Also they can go up if you book non-hotel accommodation as people drop out and the cost gets spread across fewer hens. Hope it goes without a hitch for you and the price stays reasonable.

 

[Tiktoklurker]

If she’s been able to source travel and 3 nights (or possibly 2 nights) accommodation abroad for £200 a head I applaud her! I mentioned the last time I organised a hen weekend was last Autumn and we stayed in the UK and I think just 2 nights accommodation was almost that amount.

The problem is that prices often rise unless you book far enough in advance. Also they can go up if you book non-hotel accommodation as people drop out and the cost gets spread across fewer hens. Hope it goes without a hitch for you and the price stays reasonable.

To be honest, prices for breaks in the UK are through the roof, I’ve went on a few weekend abroad breaks this year and none of them cost more than £300 including flights and hotel but a hotel here (midlands) would be at least that before travel!
yeah I think booking in advance is key for the deals (also apartments and big groups) unless you’re having a quick wedding, you know your hen will be coming up well in advance and you can prepare your hens for it and book flights/stays ahead - unlike OPs friend dumping this on her, at that price too!

 

[AnnRKey]

Ok here's the situation.

One of my oldest friends is getting married in May 23. She has decided she wants to go to Ibiza for her hen do in October, she has for some reason decided to go for 5 nights (more on this later), the minimum costs are looking minimum £1000 per person for 5 days to do all the stuff she wants to do (more like £1300). There's a group of 3 childhood friends of the bride, the bride, me who doesn't know anyone but the bride and another girl who doesn't know anyone but the bride.

Is it just me or is £1000 way too much to ask someone to spend for a hen do? I'm not familiar with Ibiza pricing and whilst I fully expected (and was happy) to spend £300-£500, I think of all the other stuff I could do with £1000 and wanna cry at the thought of throwing all that money down the drain, particularly as it's spending almost a week with randomers who I may not even get on with.

I feel this could have been done so much cheaper if, instead of going Saturday - Thursday, staying in this huge luxury villa, and the expectation being we go out every night, we went Sat - Tuesday, got hotel rooms and had 1 big night and 1 big day at ocean Beach or somewhere.

its also so annoying I'm having to take 4 whole days of annual leave to spend with people I don't know from Adam.

I broached this subject with my friend and her response wasn't really positive or understanding!

No. You do not have to go. Be honest with your pal and tell them you cannot afford it nor can you get the time off. It's a hen-do not a feckin honeymoon!