Alfie Deyes #14 future self coffee

[CreepySheepy]

I need Alfie to do something, like pick up a new hobby to forget about immediately
or say something really stupid for us to laugh at

That way we can get to the next page of this thread quickly and I can stop being nauseated by that cake picture every time I check for updates to see that there are none because Alfie is 1/2 of the most boring influencer couple alive

 

[gee13]

Alfie Deyes #15: coffee twat in a hat

 

[meowmeowmeow3030!!]

wearing pristine white socks because he does absolutely nothing

 

[Snackella]

Him ripping off literally ANYTHING/ANYONE else that's popular.

 

[Shut Up Carol]

I have a theory. All he does is post about coffee. It's like 2010 Instagram when people were still working out how to use it - super basic, uninteresting, average, blah. So far, so Alfie. BUT, remember when he did that random gin pop up? Do you think he might be doing something similar and 'working' towards starting a boujee hip coffee shop where he can play out his cool, young dad fantasy?

 

[StephenTJackson]

Jeez talk about dead behind the eyes. The girl behind him is what Zoe wishes she looked like

His face is like when you see a characters face from the Simpsons proper straight on and it just looks terrifying and weird.

 

[kissfm]

This has to be top 3 most pretentious things he’s done. By “We” he means Zoe, his sister and the boyfriend

View attachment 1714351

Imagine pulling up in your mobile bar and seeing 4 adults stood waiting for you, going home after serving 2 gin and tonics and feeling poorly because you've been contaminated with alfie germs

 

[Littlemissnaughty]

Why does he call clothes ‘pieces’ such a twat!

Because the pretentious tool thinks he’s some sort of fashion maven with his condom hats, turkey teef and beige tracksuits. Poor sod thinks he’s creative when he hasn’t had an original thought in his life.

 

[sonnenschein8]

The schwimmin powh is back, God help us

 

[electricmallows]

Girl needs to get a life if she considered that a dream come true

 

[Chilli pepper 19]

Didn't Aldie say he was having some new 'equipment' delivered to the gym/garage recently? No idea if there would be enough space but for a sauna but it did make me wonder!

Oh god it's not #dadbod attempt no 500 is it. You can always tell when Dianne is back off tour

 

[GossWhore]

Alfie makes me laugh
He will do anything
- move into 2 houses with Zoe
- have a child with her
- have a joint business
- have a collab

But never ever ever marry her

 

[Lilykins]

2 years it took to develop those most basic hoodies and socks….. TWO years!!!!

 

[bruised]

is he still doing daily backflips?

 

[GossWhore]

One thing Alfie Deyes can do well is come across as a single father on IG. It was Zoe birthday but you wouldn't know

 

[Gossngiggles]

I don’t usually post on Alfie threads but I just saw his book on sale for the grand sum of 70p and thought you might appreciate it.

 

[coconochanel]

with this thread starting feb 14 what do you think the chances are of finishing this thread before feb 14 next year, i say no chance.

Well lets help it along, lets list everything he does that annoys you. That should get the post counts up. I'll start..

when he used to say 'I may or may not have'

 

[Mr Paul Barry John Allen]

Which one of yous was this?

Near fell on the floor, never laughed so much

 

[Megadeth]

The exact same chin pose AGAIN.

New theory: In order to keep both of his hands free when taking selfies, Alfie just presses the button with his chin.

 

[Sabbie]

You know more than half that food will end up in the fridge for a week and then the bin when the cleaners turn up.

Everyone keeps going on about them getting married. Who gives a fuck. It’s not the 1950’s. And who wants to marry those teeth. Fucking hell.

Anyone else want to smash those teeth every time he says “dortah”?