This sounds fantastic!! As you say, everyone has a different circumstance and how we deal with it can vary massively.
Really hoping you can continue to make progress with your situation xx
This sounds fantastic!! As you say, everyone has a different circumstance and how we deal with it can vary massively.I've started seeing a recovery coach and it's been life changing. He is on point with the questions he asks me about my upbringing and to understand why I am co - dependant of the alcoholic in my life. Instead of attacking me staying with the alcoholic he gives me tools how to deal with an addict and I must say it's really been helping helping me so much. I see the change in how my husband acts differently towards me as I am getting stronger. I hope this stays a safe place for people to vent without being attacked for not following their advise as each person experience and circumstances are different. Sending love to all.
I’m so sorry to hear she has relapsed after such a long time of sobriety. A stark reminder to us all that nothing is a given with an alcoholic in “recovery”.I never posted here but my ma is an alcoholic she’s been clean for 10 years as the doctors said she’ll die if she keeps it up.
But I just found out recently she’s back drinking and that she started drinking again in late July or early August, she keeps going missing for days and isn’t answering her phone to me or her boyfriend. One of her friends who is also an alcoholic told me she was with her for a few days on Thursday and Friday but hasn’t seen her since Saturday morning. She won’t answer the phone to me or anyone else. Her phone turns on every now and then and she sometimes sees my texts on Facebook messenger but she doesn’t respond to them or SMS messages I do be sending her.
I don’t even know if she has all of her medication, she’s a type 1 diabetic with pancreatitis, and she’s prone to having hypo fits if she isn’t eating regularly. She can’t eat fat or can’t eat sugar. I don’t even know what to do. As no one has seen her or they’re covering for her. I’ve been crying my eyes out since Friday because I thought I was well and truly over this part of my life.
I even have been thinking to go to the police and reporting her as missing as her phone is turning off for days and no one knows where she is.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It might be worth phoning the police, especially as she has other medical issues.I never posted here but my ma is an alcoholic she’s been clean for 10 years as the doctors said she’ll die if she keeps it up.
But I just found out recently she’s back drinking and that she started drinking again in late July or early August, she keeps going missing for days and isn’t answering her phone to me or her boyfriend. One of her friends who is also an alcoholic told me she was with her for a few days on Thursday and Friday but hasn’t seen her since Saturday morning. She won’t answer the phone to me or anyone else. Her phone turns on every now and then and she sometimes sees my texts on Facebook messenger but she doesn’t respond to them or SMS messages I do be sending her.
I don’t even know if she has all of her medication, she’s a type 1 diabetic with pancreatitis, and she’s prone to having hypo fits if she isn’t eating regularly. She can’t eat fat or can’t eat sugar. I don’t even know what to do. As no one has seen her or they’re covering for her. I’ve been crying my eyes out since Friday because I thought I was well and truly over this part of my life.
I even have been thinking to go to the police and reporting her as missing as her phone is turning off for days and no one knows where she is.
My eldest sister would be the next of kin but she kind of wants nothing to do with it as she has a rocky relationship with my mam due to the shit she put us all through when we were kids and teenagers. My eldest brother feels the same. So I think me being the third oldest would me being her next of kin.I'm sorry you're going through this. It might be worth phoning the police, especially as she has other medical issues.
Are you her next-of-kin? If you phone the local hospital(s) they might be able to tell you if she's been admitted, or they might be able to tell the police on your behalf.
You don't sound annoying at allMy eldest sister would be the next of kin but she kind of wants nothing to do with it as she has a rocky relationship with my mam due to the shit she put us all through when we were kids and teenagers. My eldest brother feels the same. So I think me being the third oldest would me being her next of kin.
I think I might have to ring the hospital she visits as she missed a very important doctors appointment with the diabetes clinic today, as her bloods are getting too high the past few months and they’re unreadable on the glucose meter and then they’re crashing super fast. I don’t even know if she’s alive.
I think I might have to report her as a missing person as well at this point because she won’t answer me, I have rang her 20 times today and sent 30 messages with no reply.
I’m droning on sorry if I sound annoying
Not droning on at all, this thread is for people who need support dealing with alcoholism and it’s effects, which you are. We can’t be much real help but are glad to be a sounding boardMy eldest sister would be the next of kin but she kind of wants nothing to do with it as she has a rocky relationship with my mam due to the shit she put us all through when we were kids and teenagers. My eldest brother feels the same. So I think me being the third oldest would me being her next of kin.
I think I might have to ring the hospital she visits as she missed a very important doctors appointment with the diabetes clinic today, as her bloods are getting too high the past few months and they’re unreadable on the glucose meter and then they’re crashing super fast. I don’t even know if she’s alive.
I think I might have to report her as a missing person as well at this point because she won’t answer me, I have rang her 20 times today and sent 30 messages with no reply.
I’m droning on sorry if I sound annoying
I’m so sorry Alan, I can feel the desperation in your posts. This must be so hard. You sound very level headed through it all.I still haven’t been able to get in contact with her. But I have taken the day off work tomorrow, and I have taken her dogs to my flat as her boyfriend is in another world with worry because of her behaviour and he’s just not able for them at the moment.
I am going to report her as missing tomorrow, I’m worried about doing it as I know her face and name will be online news columns and I don’t want to embarrass her but I can’t think of any way other way to find her.
Thanks for all being kind to me as I get really embarrassed when it comes to telling people my problems.
At least you know she's still alive - as she has severe medical issues and has missed appointments, would the police possibly frame a missing advert in that way? Say that she's confused rather than an alcoholic?She still hasn’t got in contact with me but her messenger was online 4 hours ago so that’s a good thing. It’s confirming she’s not sick or isn’t dead. I have sent her a few more messages and called her a few more times, she hasn’t seen the Facebook ones but idk If she seen the normal text ones
Her dogs were very good for me last night, they played with my dog last night and were happy to see him but they didn’t want to sleep in the bed with me. So they slept on the dog bed on the floor.
I know my best option is the police but I’m just so worried she won’t speak to me again if her face and name is all over thejournal and the gardaí missing person report site tomorrow. But she’s too old to be acting like this, she’s nearly 60 and having me up the wall with worry.
She left me in charge of my younger siblings for years and is now back to her old shit again after ten years of being clean.
I can’t even tell you the stories of the shit she’s put me through since I’m a kid as it just makes me regress to a 13 year old me helpless against my mam being a useless drunken bitch, conked out in bed all day and leaving me in charge of my 4 younger brothers. I was 12 years old and changing a new baby’s nappy and feeding him as well having him sleep in the bed with me, as my ma was too piss drunk to get up to feed him in the nights and morning and my dad would be in work so I’d feel guilty waking him to feed the baby, I missed so much school because of her alcoholism, it’s a wonder how I even did well in school. Then my dad being an emotionally neglectful cunt who always looks at her with heart eyes, always looking at her with rose tint glasses and failing to realise she’s neglecting all of us.
I don’t even know what to do, I feel like a kid all over again. I love her and my dad but they have so much to answer for how I am. I am fucked in the head because of them.
Thank you for mentioning this seriously as I realise I will have to say she’s sound of mind, even though she is an alcoholic, she’s sharp mindedAt least you know she's still alive - as she has severe medical issues and has missed appointments, would the police possibly frame a missing advert in that way? Say that she's confused rather than an alcoholic?
I am very sorry for the late reply, I just got busy.Have you spoken to your siblings about reporting her missing Alan?
I know it is incredibly tough, but this is having a massive effect on your mental well-being and health. You’ve had to take time off work too. I know this is selfish but I would stop worrying about her feelings, she has put herself in danger and you are doing what you can to protect her. She might not like it but you have tried all other avenues.
Unfortunately once they are drinking again they don’t think straight at all. It’s just all about them, and all about the next drink. Alcoholics are incredibly self centred. I’m glad you’ve heard from herI am very sorry for the late reply, I just got busy.
My other siblings are not bothered as they don’t have the best relationship over the stuff she has put us through in the past and I think I’m too much of a soft touch and have bad anxiety so I can’t help but worry about her cause she is still my Mother, I just can’t switch off my love for her even though she put me through so much.
She sent me a small message today to say she’ll be home to hers later, but she has yet to show up. But at least I know she is alive so that helps me worry a bit less. I think I scared her as I messaged her and a few of her old drinking friends that I think she’d be with that I have no choice but to report as missing.
I am still at a lost for words, because I don’t know what the fuck she is thinking and putting me through.
Going through this exact thing at the moment, totally sick of the situationI have a functioning alcoholic parent. Well I say functioning, they are not the cusp of becoming a non functioning one now. Totally in denial, gets very defensive and angry when challenged about it however on occasion will admit they drink too much make attempt to stop for a few days then fall off the wagon again. Ive lost count of the number times they’ve shown themselves up, they are an absolute fucking embarrassment but I’ve had to detach myself because until they want to give up they can’t.
You have done so much for her Alan, do not feel bad for the position she’s put herself in. The ball is in her court now. Look after yourselfShe still isn’t back home. I don’t even know what to say, I know she’s alive, I just don’t know where she is. She still won’t pick up the phone or reply back to my texts but her Facebook messenger does tell me that she is active and seeing messages I am sending her.
At this point I’m just gonna have to cut my losses with her, as I’ve tried everything in my power to try find her and make sure she gets home safe and can get better.
I don’t want to derail the thread anymore so I will only update if she’s back.
Seriously thanks to all of you for letting me rant and let me write out my frustration over her and giving me advice it means a lot xxx
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