Thank you for your reply. I too was able to keep it low-key for ages, because surprisingly I could force myself out of bed on time the next day and no one was any the wiser that I’d drank loads the night before. In a way it’s more dangerous as it will take people longer to notice something is wrong, by then it could be too late.
For me my breaking point was being spiked on a night out and I’m very surprised to this day something seriously bad didn’t happen to me that night. I was literally walking (well, stumbling) the streets with my friend who also had been drugged. Many people walked by and it wouldn’t have taken much for us to be dragged away or mugged. I realised that night alcohol was seriously damaging my life, albeit I was able to keep it hidden. I had plenty of distraction during the day at uni, but then by night I was alone with my thoughts and mental illnesses. I was overwhelming anxious all the time, and verging on needing to seek medical advice.
Although the night I was spiked was easily one of the most terrifying nights of my life, it made me wake up and realise, that alcohol is a temporary high with massive lows. It’s really not worth it anymore. I know being 20 and a uni student I’m expected to just binge drink and not get questioned, but I feel if I were to return to a nightclub and get back into that lifestyle, I would very easily fall deeper than I have ever before.
I too am jealous of people who can just have “one drink” and be done. I would need about 4 to even feel remotely anything.
Thank goodness you didn't come to any harm. What a terrible thing to do you! At least it forced a change for your benefit.
It's great you are so young - you will reap major rewards from this experience and knowledge.
I’ve never written this down before. On paper I have a serious alcohol problem but I just can’t stop as I need that final kick up the arse.
My problem is that I don’t wake up with hangovers, don’t embarrass myself, manage to do my full time job fine and it doesn’t give me anxiety or other issues with my personality. Therefore, I confess that I still love it. I love the feeling of the first drink and how relaxed I feel as the night wears on. I completely accept I’m ruining my health and can’t carry on like this.
I follow several sober accounts on Instagram which are really interesting but they all talk about the dread of waking up the next day and using alcohol to mask insecurity whereas I just like it and wake up ok. Herein lies my problem.
I’m wondering if I should pay for a liver scan to scare me.
Any non-judgemental advice much appreciated.
This is a very hard question to answer. You, in common with many people in the UK, sound like a high-functioning alcoholic. You are honest enough to admit that you love alcohol for its own sake and don't suffer any ill effects.
If you had a liver function test I doubt it would indicate a serious problem as the organ is notoriously forgiving. It takes decades of hard drinking to show major damage. This is the insidious danger of alcohol. Once something like cirrhosis is discovered, the individual is often dangerously addicted and will have a huge problem giving up.
I'm sure you know already the bad effects of alcohol on every organ in the body. I agree entirely that if there are no problems and you are enjoying it and can afford it then it's tempting to continue. This, I think, is why so many people get into trouble. It takes a while for issues to emerge. Tolerance for alcohol increases over time and the drinker gradually needs more and more to reach the same levels of enjoyment.
In addition, particularly in the UK, alcohol is seen as the panacea for all ills - a way to celebrate, to reward yourself for a bad day, a pick-you-up for almost any occasion. Giving up, you may be seen as a bit of a bore. "Have just one, don't be a party pooper". This is often because alcohol dependence is so widespread other drinkers don't like to be reminded of their own issues or be thought to be judged by someone in their circle giving it up.
All I can say is that if you cut down you are likely to reap some major benefits. You will certainly save money, lose weight (unless you swap booze for chocolate), have clearer more hydrated skin, more energy and lose that nagging feeling at the back of your mind that you are storing up trouble for yourself sometime in the future.