Age gap in a relationship?

[ChloChlo]

My ex was 17 years older than me. I'm mid 30s he was early 50s. We didn't get on with each others friends. He was very much into staying in whereas I still liked going out a bit. He was set in his ways and had loads of baggage from previous relationships too. I'd never date with that bigger age gap again

Oh god, we couldn't stand eachothers friends.

All his friends were all these serious east end villain types and most were older than him as it was. Mine were a bit more laid back, girly.

At 33 I did shag an 18 year old and I realised then I could never go more than a couple of years younger. Rubbish, easily forgettable. Spoke about strains of weed and his car. Very unimpressive.

 

[Ninjacat]

12 years between me and my partner. We are very happy and enjoy the same things, like the same music, remember the same TV shows, just generally on the same wave length

 

[Pippa M]

My ex was 12 years older than me. I thought he was " the one " but he got cold feet and walked out .Long time ago.

 

[Frenchie]

My ex was 12 years older than me. Didn’t matter at all at first. Five years in it really started to show in various ways so I wouldn’t be in a relationship with that large gap again.

I agree I had a 15 year age gap, your right at the beginning it’s ok but as time event on it showed, never again x

 

[Lipgoss]

My partner is only a couple of years older than me, and it works great. When I was dating early 20s I was open to up to about 30, if I was looking for a relationship. Went up to 42 once for a sex only fling - he was still young looking, fit and active so it was fab! Knew it was never going to be a relationship though.

 

[cakebytheocean]

Only over the past year have I dated much older than me. I'm mid 20s and my current boyfriend is late 30s but have dated guys in their 40s

 

[MrsWolf]

My husband is 14 years older than me.. and his eldest daughter is only 7 years younger than me

We have never found it weird though, apart from once when discussing a song my husband remembers hearing for the first time in a club when he was 18 and I said I didn’t know it as I was only 4 at the time

 

[Beckyboo85]

I’m 34 and my husband is 54. We have two young kids and so far our relationship has been fantastic. He is very young for his age and I am quite mature for mine I think. Our age has never been an issue and we are very well suited.
I guess as the years go on then things may change but at the time we got together it was a consideration - which I chose to accept and go with. I remember thinking about being happy, and time passing by. My friend passed away aged 38 suddenly and other people I have known have lost their husbands young - it just seemed my happiness shouldn’t be judged on what could happen in the future as no one knows when their time is going to be up.

I’m not naive enough to think I’ll probably have other things to put up with sooner than my friends who’s husbands are the same age; plus I’ll likely be a widow earlier. But, who is to say I will outlive him (I hope I do even though that sounds bad). I guess I won’t have the companionship into my elderly years with him as others will. That’s a long way off though yet.

I prefer to live in the here and now and enjoy what we have. All relationships are different I guess.

 

[LavaFlake]

Totally agree @Beckyboo85 ! Especially with what the world is like now, who knows where we'll all be in 20 years. Better to enjoy the now!

 

[Raininvain]

When I was around 16,I used to spend a lot of time with my friends Aunt with my friend as well. The Aunt was in her 40s and had married a man 20 years plus older than her. Well, he ended up having strokes and loads of health problems, it threw them into financial difficulties. He was really abusive, vulgar and disgusting and thats putting it mildly.
She said to me people will say to you age doesnt matter in a relationship, when you hear that you think of me and yes it does.She eventually ran off with someone else and he went into a care home in the end. Its when they get older it matters, men generally dont live as long as women and do you want to be your partners full time carer if anything happens to them in your 40s?

 

[Kim Mild]

I've never had a boyfriend younger than 19. My first proper boyfriend was 19 when I was still 15 . When i was 19, the boyfriend I had then was 19 .
I've had older boyfriends too. At 18 I dated a 31 year old who ditched me he was past fooling round and wanted to settle down and have kids. Obviously not with me ,though!.Last I heard about him ,he was still single, no kids.1
My oldest's dad is 10 years older than me and acts like a perpetual teenager. However , he would use the excuse that I was childish if we argued .
Currently, I'm the older by a couple of years.

 

[Gembo]

I was in a relationship with a guy 11 years older than me and it was always fine we got on great and I can honestly say I never thought about our age, we just were. My husband is about 18 months older than me & I also don’t think about it much, but sometimes I like that he’s a bit cooler than my ex but that’s probably just as much a personality thing as an age thing. But I have this really weird thing that I just don’t think I could go out with someone younger than me Ive no idea why I feel that way but it could be that I feel someone older than me is more responsible and I don’t want to be the responsible one I don’t know but I went on a date once with a guy exactly 2 months younger than me & it put me off!

 

[Kat5998]

There’s 11 years between my parents. My dad had a daughter (sadly passed away when I was young) with his ex wife and there was only 9 years between my step-sister and my mum which is weird to think about lol

 

[mcfeez]

My husband and I are the same age (28) and I've never really date anyone significantly older or younger. In my mind I think the oldest I could date for me would be 40, but I'd prefer them not to have children so not sure if that's realistic. Youngest I'd date, depends on maturity but probably around 25?

 

[coleywoley]

My husband is 8 years older than me. We met when I was 19 and he was 27, and got married when I was 22 and he was 30. We have two kids now (8 and 2), and it’s our 10th wedding anniversary in two weeks.

 

[openbook1]

Me and my partner have a 14 year gap. I'm 28 he's 42. Been together 4 years and it works really well for both of us. He amazingly has no baggage as was in a partnership for early 30s where there were no kids. We both want the same things going forward and have same values humour etc so it works and think we're just about under the wire with regards to the gap. Wouldnt want it much bigger but I prefer someone who is more mature and has their head sorted.

Sounds like us! I am 28 and mine is 40. He was never married before and no kids which is nice.

 

[Lovegin]

When I was around 16,I used to spend a lot of time with my friends Aunt with my friend as well. The Aunt was in her 40s and had married a man 20 years plus older than her. Well, he ended up having strokes and loads of health problems, it threw them into financial difficulties. He was really abusive, vulgar and disgusting and thats putting it mildly.
She said to me people will say to you age doesnt matter in a relationship, when you hear that you think of me and yes it does.She eventually ran off with someone else and he went into a care home in the end. Its when they get older it matters, men generally dont live as long as women and do you want to be your partners full time carer if anything happens to them in your 40s?

Trouble is you could end up a carer in your 30s 40s to a husband your own age, My husband died when I was 31

 

[Raininvain]

Trouble is you could end up a carer in your 30s 40s to a husband your own age, My husband died when I was 31

Hi, Yes you could, nothing in life is guaranteed but there's more chance of it if your husband is 20 years older than you. Also say you are 50 would you really want to be stuck with someone 70 plus? I wouldn't. The older you get the more pronounced age differences become. I'm sorry to hear about your husband that's very young to pass away.

 

[Lovegin]

Hi, Yes you could, nothing in life is guaranteed but there's more chance of it if your husband is 20 years older than you. Also say you are 50 would you really want to be stuck with someone 70 plus? I wouldn't. The older you get the more pronounced age differences become. I'm sorry to hear about your husband that's very young to pass away.

Thanks, it was quite a few years ago now

 

[Ls2991]

I was with someone that was 39 when I was 26. It was OK when we were together (really didn’t bother either of us at all) - we often talked about getting married and having kids but once we split up he told me one of the factors in that decision was, deep down he didn’t want I have any more children and I do want them. After he told me that I did think more about the age gap and I figured it would have become problematic further down the line.