Adam The Woo #18 Paunchy, Pasty, Petulant Peter Pan!

[dirtnap101]

Ah, I should've know when he said he wanted to spend more time in Washington DC, and then he found himself in Baltimore, just an hour away from DC, and on a trip that is only a week long, he would never actually go to Washington DC. Makes too much sense.

Where does he head from Baltimore? Why, SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, of course. Sure, why not go back there again. And why not fly on a route that requires at LAYOVER, because baby Adam can't fly into LAX, he has to fly into Burbank, he liked it so much before. So he's once again willing to waste hours at the Baltimore airport, and more time at the Dallas airport, plus risk everything that you risk with a layover, just to avoid some inconvenience at LAX. So, so stupid. If he reads here, he's not taking my travel advice at all, that's for sure.

Adam says he travels "very light" with a backpack and luggage. Adam, people who travel "very light" do it with one bag, buddy, one bag. A rolling suitcase and a backpack isn't traveling light, it's just not checking a bag. He always loves to let you know what hotel he stayed at as he's leaving it, and then he Ubers to the airport.

He details his TSA experience in great and then informs the audience that his flight doesn't board for another TWO HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES . Adam gets his coffee, and is very happy that it's so hot that the straw he stirred it with partially melted (they ran out of wooden sticks). Enjoy that, very healthy. He finds his plane, oh boy!

OCD really kicks in with the Jetway shot>shot of the plane safety card>shot of his feet stretching out in his first class seat. Disaster then strikes as the pilot announces a 1.5 hour delay and that they are keeping everyone on the plane . Honestly, if you insist on continuing to travel like this, I hope every damn flight is canceled and/or horribly delayed. Eventually when every single flight vlog has CANCELED in the title, people will get bored and tune out, and you will be experiencing misery for nothing.

The pilot comes back suddenly and says they will leave the gate in 15 mins (?), which Adam gets a big kick out of. He says the bigger delay would cause him to miss his connecting flight to Burbank, and his quick research indicated that "nothing was popping up" for other flights on that incredibly popular route of Dallas to Burbank, who would've thought? The plane takes off, and we get the entire takeoff and the usual endless clouds, and the shot of the first class assorted nuts, ice water, (where he does a shot of both, then moves the camera in on the ice water LIKE THE AUDIENCE HAS NEVER SEEN ICE WATER, and then back out again to show both, THEN BACK IN ON THE ICE WATER, OMG in heaven, unbelievable, over 30 seconds of nuts and ice water). Then he shows off his meal because he believes it to be particularly healthy:

After that, it's back to the endless clouds, and he films the entire landing into Dallas, because we need to see that every time, and when he turns airplane mode off he gets the dreaded news that his evening flight from Dallas to Burbank is canceled

Bet the flights to LAX weren't canceled! Adam uses the word "horsecrap". Of course, he blames it on AA and says they suck, and accepts no blame at all (as a narcissist never does) for his bizarre travel habits. He knows it too, because he often cites proximity to MCO as a reason for deciding to put "roots down" in Central Florida and not someplace like Gatlinburg. Airports like MCO, O'Hare, Atlanta, JFK, LAX and other really big airports are just a different level than smaller city airports like Baltimore, Milwaukee, and smaller airports in huge cities like Burbank, John Wayne, Midway, etc.

Adam thinks his canceled flight is canceled "for no reason", because airlines cancel flights for no reason - just for fun. It really helps them, so they like to do it . He's also upset because the plane has no gate to go to there in Dallas. He says he can't find any flights to any SoCal airports from Dallas that evening (maybe don't get stuck in Dallas at night trying to get to SoCal?) and then says he has plans the next day in SoCal and for "the next series of days" and that if he didn't, he's probably just book something back home to Orlando. Again, thanks Captain Obvious. Why would you be going to SoCal if you didn't have plans, you goober?

Adam says after this trip he will never fly AA again. Of course, he wasn't going to anyway, he already said he chose a different airline to work with going forward, and got that airline's credit card and everything. So why would he fly AA again? Also, I can't wait until he has the same experience on his chosen airline because the problems have more to do with his travel methods and insane requirements than the airline.

He runs all over the airport trying to find an AA flight to LAX (yeah, you love LAX now, don't you?) and seems to finally find one. He goes to that gate and says he asked "the receptionist" if he has a window seat, and she confirmed he does (thank God, what would we do without more footage out the window?), but poor Adam has to sit with the commoners all the way in the back of the plane . Sadly, at the last second they do give him his first class seat .

He gets that jetway shot, shows the safety card, shows his feet (if this wasn't a severe compulsion, he'd skip it at some point), the entire takeoff, lots of random shots of Dallas city lights, then the entire approach and landing into LAX. He will just throw the kitchen sink in to extend the video and have more time to play ads for the 25-30k who do still watch. Imagine if he'd just flew direct MCO to DC, rented a car or took the train to Baltimore, then did the same back to DC, flew direct to LAX and avoided all this drama? But he "likes" Burbank airport just like he "likes" John Wayne airport - now he's got a cute little Universal Studios airport in north LA to go with his cute little Disneyland/Knotts airport in southern LA, and he'll shoot himself in the foot to use them both.

BUT, maybe not, as Adam is currently so upset that, out of nowhere, actual reason may have dawned upon him. He was originally leaving SoCal on Wednesday, June 5th, and he was of course booked on AA out of Burbank. Now he says he will NOT fly out of Burbank and will NOT fly on AA. He also says he has to stay away from the layovers, that the layovers are "brutal". Gosh, who knew? I guess Burbank airport isn't the draw it was 12 hours ago.

He says he will stay in SoCal until Friday or Saturday now and fly out of the dreaded LAX and fly home on an airline that is not AA (perhaps his chosen airline?). His weeklong trip has just turned into a 1.5 week trip. Why switching flights and airlines to LAX requires staying extra days, I'm not sure - perhaps last minute bookings of First Class are too expensive even for Adam The Woo? Anyway, must be nice to just extend your stay without a care in the world. I'm sure he'll come up with great content out there in SoCal for a week. Perhaps a backlot tour of a film studio? The recap is over.

 

[eatcherheartout]

Case in point:
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What a dick. He’s better off not responding but if that was me, I would say, “thank you for the feedback” and move on. Even if I’m going to do whatever I want anyway. He’s an asshole.

 

[dirtnap101]

Adam begins his travel vlog by recapping his "horrible luck" wherein it's been his choice to insist on using layovers to fly into smaller airports, when he could easily fly direct into major airports in the same metro areas or even nearby and greatly reduce his chances of having travel issues. After years and years of flying constantly, he's finally come to the conclusion that I (and others around here and elsewhere) have been telling him for years: it's not worth it.

What he still hasn't figured out is that it's also a good idea to fly earlier in the day. Adam's booked himself a 4pm departure back to Orlando on Delta. Yes, it seems he's chosen Delta as his "airline of choice" going forward and for his "international travels" in 2025 and beyond. He's also driving to LAX at Noon and actually says the traffic is not bad because it's "early". Must be nice. Why he's headed to LAX at Noon when his domestic flight is at 4pm is a great question. Is this gonna be one of those "I'm early so I'm going to spend 2 hours walking around the airport reading every sign, looking at every store and staring out the window looking for my plane" flight experience vlogs? Yeah...

What aspiring half marathon participant (see, I didn't even call you a runner, Adam) wouldn't stop at Randy's Donuts right outside LAX? Adam reminds us that it's been 3-4 months since he's had any dessert item. That's odd, since it was a beginning of the year resolution and the calendar says June which is the 6th month of the year according to Google. He says the cream and sugar in his coffee doesn't count, and against recites that he doesn't drink soda, and he now says he "tries not to" eat fried things (I guess he knows he can't say he doesn't eat fried food after the Camden Yards fiasco). He says he's tempted to get a donut, but maybe he'll just get a coffee.

Then he's up at the order window and after a moment of thought, he suddenly says, "Yeah, you know what, I think I am gonna get TWO donuts." Where the hell did TWO donuts come from, buddy? You were just considering MAYBE one donut, but maybe just coffee. Now it's, yeah, I guess I am gonna have to get TWO DONUTS, oh well? Adam rationalizes this by saying, "I've been pretty good, so...I'm gonna have myself a little donut." But I thought it was 2 donuts? Then he says maybe just one donut and the coffee. "Eh, I think one's probably good enough. I'll have one donut", concludes Adam. Damn man, make up your mind. "They also have a glazed twist. I'll get that too." What??? You just said ONE donut? Now we're back to TWO?

It's literally like peeking into the mind of a toddler making a decision. Adam, here's an idea, try to follow with me: you're at the place. You have tons of time before your flight and you're right next to the airport. Get the coffee and one donut. Enjoy it. After you're done, see if you feel like another donut. If you do, THEN get another damn donut. But maybe the one was good enough and you don't feel like a second, and you can then just move on with your day. It's not rocket science, my man. OMG, is this guy REALLY 50 years old? Really?

Pay phone shell alert, heaven forbid he not document one

Of course, he can't just go to his car and eat the donuts off camera and then give his review. No, no, he has to find someplace away from the busy parking lot where he can put the camera down on something and film himself eating his donuts so the audience can watch, just like his disgusting parking lot car roof fast food reviews of the past.

Adam says, "It's pretty good" in a surprised tone, as if Randy's Donuts has a reputation for being mediocre or something. I'm not a connoisseur of high end donuts, but the one time I had Randy's at this LAX location they were indeed pretty good, no complaints, but I expected them to be good. He says of the specialty one that is filled with cream that is coffee flavored, "wow, that's sweet". What a review Adam, amazing. Also, the sun is hot and the ice in my drink is cold.

Well, you all know what time it is now. Time to return the rental car. Actually, I think the sugar rush was doing a real number on Adam's brain because he tried to do his usual gas and rental car speech and he kind of glitched and really messed it up to the point it wasn't even understandable in any way. I know the YouTube transcript isn't normally the greatest accuracy-wise but this is actually pretty spot-on, yikes:

He arrives at LAX and the airport rituals start: checks arrivals board, escalator feet shot, excruciating TSA details including the obligatory shot of his feet in socks, and immediately starts filming Delta planes and various gates (and reads out loud every gate number). He's just wandering around and sees some chairs facing out and wow, he obsesses over them. Look at the transcript, he says chairs 3 times within 20 seconds to point out the same thing 3 times

Then he points out gate 38, just to say it's not his gate, his gate is the one next to gate 38, and then oh, it's downtown LA. It's like a squirrel on speed. I mean, wow. This is rough. His gate is 36, btw, so it's not next to 38?

On to the LA souvenir store, more roaming, he tries to notice the architecture and decor of the airport with the discerning eye of a 3rd grader ("that looks like piano keys on the ceiling but it's not"), then back to filming his gate, as a plane has pulled away and that means the next plane coming to the gate should be his. This airport section of the vlog is the highlighted meaning of ponderous

His plane arrives and as it pulls up to the gate, he actually describes what going to happen like no one knows the process: how the jetway will connect to the plane, that the door will open, everyone will get off, and "they will prepare the plane for me to board", says Adam. I've never ever though the crew and staff were preparing the plane for me to board, I've always thought of the flight as an "us" or "we" thing, even when traveling solo for business in first class. Adam is even weirder in the head than I thought.

Time for that OCD end of the jetway shot and he's on board, so the next thing is the seatback safety card>the shot of his free bottle of water (hmm, will he be upset it's not in a glass with ice?)>the shot of his feet on the floor>the entire takeoff

His window is kinda smudge-y and dirty, I'm sure he's not happy about that since he loves to film out of it so much. He does praise the in-flight entertainment system, and picks out Batman Returns. Silly me, I thought he'd pick an early flight and he watched it at home. No, it's what he watched on the flight!

Adam is delivered his First Class meal consisting of a "salad" (Adam calls it tuna salad, then says "chicken salad sandwich, I should say" - sandwich???), some fruit he probably didn't eat because he doesn't like fruit, a dessert (I assume Randy's was enough, right Adam?) and somehow he ordered APPLE JUICE. He says these are "savory items to go along with the overload of sugar I had this morning". A) it was this afternoon, not this morning. B) the salad is the only "savory" thing on this tray and it's not very healthy for a salad. Why choose apple juice? It's full of MORE SUGAR you idiot.

More endless shots out the window before Adam really gets down with the savory treats full of sodium to keep that BP nice and high for the half marathon:

Adam goes back to the entertainment system and reminds us that Michael Keaton is his favorite Batman. Adam's really taking to time to connect and identify with the large part of the audience who has taken the time to rank their favorite Batmans, bravo! He chooses a horror flick next and amazingly only gets 10 minutes into it before he realizes that maybe it's not appropriate for the person sitting next to him, so he stops and says he'll watch it another time. He switches to The Secret Life of Pets, which he's never seen even though he's been on the ride at Universal Hollywood . Adam loved it, if you're wondering.

It's time for Florida out the window at night and for Adam to try to guess at what he's looking at from above as they come in to Orlando. I giggled a bit when he pointed out Universal Orlando . He films the entire landing, and then we get the MCO routine in reverse...the fountain, the flag, the hotel balconies, the wooden deer, and to where he left his car on May 29th. He's returning after midnight so it's June 9th, that's potentially 11 days of parking at $24/day, a cool $264 for Mr. First "Moneybags" Class.

Of course he immediately complains about the heat and humidity, and the vlog is over. I can't wait until he starts CRUSHING it for #FitByFifty!

 

[2020planner]

I wonder if he'll cut short his trip to Woopeat the Frontierland Shooting arcade one last time:

That kind of shit pisses me off. Like they need another fucking DVC lounge. I know that half the stuff didn't work in the shooting arcade as the years went on but it's themed SO well and truly is a great part of nostalgic Frontierland and was part of the original 1971 MK and they are just losing the original awesomeness bit by bit, and replacing it with low-cost, low-maintenance "filler" bullshit.

I don't even recognize my former employer these days. And it's sad.

 

[Mr 7Percent]

Talk about an antisocial creep vibe with undertones of serial murderer, jeez, that mask makes you wonder.

 

[Beezlebubba]

This was posted some other place...awful lot of people have had bad experiences meeting ATW it seems

View attachment 2965649

This is how it's done, with style and humility. The difference is Matt Smith is famous and David isn't even a blip on the radar.

Hey David, You could learn something from people like this or, dare I say? Chuck Norris. Don't be an ass. Be thankful for each and every view you get (none from me, thank you.) Without your viewers you are NOTHING.

 

[dirtnap101]

I also don't care if he weighs himself! I'd be happy if he dropped the entire subject, it's a particularly worn out subject in the world of ATW (although not monorail-level).


I'll say this:

If his content was just Disney and discussing Disney, and/or about living in Celebration and discussing Celebration, Rt 192, the Rays, BttF, 80s, etc., then I'd stick to critiquing him on those points.

He's the one who uses his personal life as content. His insistence mental illness about never missing a day (and having to film something each day and then upload it immediately) means dragging his poor mother, sister, and other assorted family members into the limelight instead of just taking a week off and going on vacation privately. Taking them all the Hawaii later this year is his way of trying to make up for it, but he'll daily vlog that too. And Madame the Woo, Giggles and other relationships he's had over the years, all fodder for the vlog in some way, shape or form.

He could try to lose weight whatever way he wants to and not discuss the details in his vlogs. He's the one making it into content, opening himself up and using it to line his pockets. This is the umpteenth time he's done a weight loss challenge on this channel over the years. It's partially what bought him the $500k house and the DVC and the golf cart. On top of it, he says he wants the audience to hold him accountable, and posts it all over his social media.

So, until he removes this type of content from his channel, until stops talking about it, stops using it to make money, I (and I hope others) will and should annoy him to no end discussing it and dissecting it and asking him about it, as that's what he's asked for and that's what he deserves, whether he likes it or not.

He had stopped for a bit, wasn't showing workouts, wasn't showing what he was eating, and wasn't talking about #FitByFifty, and I thought maybe he's figured it out. But then periodically in vlogs he says he's going to weigh himself, or talks about the half marathon, or talks about how he's been doing pretty good eating, so it's clear he just can't leave it alone. His fans and detractors shouldn't leave it alone either, and Adam can spend all day fielding nice questions in his comments about it, responding rudely to critical comments and deleting the nasty comments - I hope he has to spend all day every day, because you reap what you sow.

If you say repeatedly you're gonna weigh yourself in your vlog, and you then decide to not weigh yourself, you better say that in the vlog too - don't be a chickensh!t and hide it in the comments, Adam.

 

[ThereGoesTheMoney]

Also was thinking about how Adam made such a big production out of Memorial Day, I wonder if he'll mention the 80th anniversary of D-Day in the vlog filmed yesterday?

This is assuming he knows what D-Day is. For him, D-Day is probably the day Disneyland opened.

 

[PoorKid]

I'm a vegetarian and that salad is shit.

 

[dirtnap101]

Ouch...get a bag of frozen peas and put it on your ego, Adam

 

[dirtnap101]

Owns (not paying a mortgage owns) a half million dollar townhouse in Celebration. Doesn't have any ex-wives or kids that we know of. Doesn't appear to be addicted to alcohol or illicit drugs. Still pulls more than $100k a year. What is not together? He's an out of shape 50 year old man baby. There are far worse things on the planet.

I know you're the resident contrarian, but c'mon. He has no meaningful romantic relationships, no meaningful friendships, spends a huge amount of his time alone and isolated, doesn't seem to be happy, he's terribly frightened about getting older (probably in part due to the fact he's alone), doesn't take care of his health and hasn't for years, has spent the last three years spending his saved money like a drunken sailor in a mid-life crisis, and clearly has mental health issues.

 

[dirtnap101]

What a plan..."I'm only home for four days before I leave on my big road trip. I'll have to do a couple of days at WDW. And I have to get ready for the trip, so I'll need a few days staying close to the house, maybe a Celebration vlog?"

So he does Orange World reopening/192, a walk/drive n talk, and two WDW vlogs. There are four parks in WDW, somehow this guy ends up going to Epcot TWICE? Once for the opening of a building that is basically a room with some tables and chairs, and now for a ride that doesn't close for another 5 days, but Adam is leaving town so he has to say his goodbyes early. It's not even going to get a new ride system, so does he really need to "say goodbye" for God's sake? More clickbait BS.

Adam has groomed himself. He seems to only have two modes now: haircut with the Amish beard where he removes the hair in the mustache area (but leaves scruff/stubble) and trims the beard, OR haircut where he removes the beard (but leaves scruff/stubble) and leaves the full mustache. I should've known he'd go with the latter because this is a baseball trip, and somehow he thinks this look makes him resemble an 80s relief pitcher (although later in the vlog he says he thinks it looks a bit like Dabney Coleman )

80s relief pitcher is a good thing to base your grooming on, good choice! It goes hand in hand with keeping no food in your home for fear you'll eat it all, and shopping for your one pre-prepared meal each day in Publix, I suppose. Can't understand why this guy is alone all the time. Does he not own an actual razor of any kind? Why take a trimmer to the beard but then not actually shave and leave that patchy stubble crap? Only Adam could clean himself up and still look like someone who hasn't cleaned themselves up.

I guess he's got to warm up for the road trip by stopping for gas and doing the "self-pumping gas nozzle" routine at the art deco 7-11. Instead of one finger, we get three pointing at the 7-11 today. He's still calling the corner towers of the building "pylons"

He keeps saying he's in a big rush and he's just popping into Epcot quickly to ride TT and move on with his day, he's got a lot to do to prepare for his road trip. He's in such a hurry he doesn't even stop for the Mickey Power Pole. He does film the main welcome sign while driving under it though, but then he can't resist pulling over to film a Ft Wilderness cabin being towed somewhere

He parks and guess what? He's gonna walk in and not take the tram, who would've thought? He sees storm clouds in the distance, and he remarks that he should get in the park and get on the ride ASAP, but at the same time he's walking pretty slowly, because as you can see, he's desperately waiting for the monorail that's sitting there to pull out of the station. He even has to say out loud on camera that he was hoping to "get a little monorail going by, but right now it's over there in the station"

OCD mirror selfie: no orange shorts again, he must be saving them for the big trip

His OCD is saved as he approaches TT and it makes an appearance:

It's amazing that TT, with the single rider line, isn't something that lazy Adam goes on more - it doesn't even have music, so no copyright worries. I guess even the single rider line is too much effort for him. As his car comes back into the load zone, he starts mumbling something about the car #27 in front of him, something about some band's side project, "it's a deep cut", I don't know what he's saying and it's hard to understand him with all the background noise, then he says something like Billie Joe from Green Day has a #27 tattoo? He got bored and instead of shutting off the camera, we get this verbal diarrhea.

The CM feels sorry for weirdo Adam talking to himself and filming everything, and tells him he was in "the prototype car". That gets him very excited, to the point he sings out loud "there goes the prototype car!". I'm sure that only affirmed the CM's suspicions about Adam. He thinks the cars will be "completely different" when it reopens. Go take a look at those logs on the Tiana ride, buddy, and think again. He is just shot out of a cannon while exiting the ride for some reason, reading every sign while pointing his sunglasses at each one, and running around saying "this will all be different" at everything he sees.

Then he freaks out in the gift shop looking at all the toys, saying they will be collectors items, and he's on the hunt for a TT pin, of course. He sees this and says, "oh yeah, I gotta do this"

These are his poses for the photo:

and he chooses this one:

Next up? oh yes

He pretends like he might just get a few, then he concludes he's going to go ahead and get all 8 for "only" $5. "It's worth it", says Adam.

While waiting for his pressed pennies, 5 year old Adam sees his final target of the day, the TT pin

He almost doesn't get it until he checks to make sure that it's the font from the current version. I hope they use the same damn font just to annoy him.

Adam announces he managed to find A FEW OTHER ITEMS to buy. I know, it's hard to believe, but he did. He says TT is in the former World of Motion building. Pretty sure it's not the same building, Adam, just the same area of the park. Then it's everyone's favorite activity, thumbnail posing time

back to OCD rituals as he leaves the park

He walked slowly and waited around for that monorail to leave the station, and remember he gets extra excited when he catches the monorail and a tram going opposite ways in the same shot so he was all juiced up over this:

As the monorail leaves and the tram arrives, he focuses on the tram and he's talking, of course, and the CM on the tram says how many parking spots are available in the Epcot parking lot. Adam misses the number because he's yapping. He's very upset about missing the number. Does he know Google exists?

He tells us he's going to do some errands, get ready for the trip, visit his parents and make his way to the airport to pick up the rental car. He explains at great length why he prefers to rent the car from the airport and not a local rental car agency, and one reason (no joke) is that he can prepay at the airport rental car counter, but some local outlets you can't and he prefers that "out of sight, out of mind" method. JFC.

Of course while he's talking about all this, he's stopping periodically, and then suddenly he says, "Oh, look at this", and turns around. You know what it is

Suddenly he cuts to awful, shaky zoomed in footage of this bird eating a pretzel

Finally he gets back to the car to present EVERYTHING he bought, and these are the additional items. A toy TT car to play vroom vroom with and a second pin he managed to locate

Now, somehow, we get bonus footage FROM THE DAMN MCO AIRPORT! And even though he's just there to pick up a rental car, he starts with the airport rituals!!!! Departure board. the goddamn fountain, the American flag and the hotel room balconies:

He picks up his rental car and gets back to Celebration, and then it's time to get the PUBLIX SUSHI he ate last night

He places his TT pins on his cork board and notes he will soon need another cork board. He does not mention that he has no place in that room to put it. The vlog is over.

 

[dirtnap101]

As usual, Adam has to find a local youtuber (who needs him for views) so that local can lead him around by the nose and do all the work for him. Of course Adam will refer to this person as a "friend", but they really aren't, they are just mutual users. As he's in Baltimore, it happens to be his old "friend" Dan Bell. Regardless of what you or I think of Dan Bell and his work (not really my cup of tea, but some of his work is ok) he puts more effort into his work (or at least Dan used to, I haven't watched in a bit) than Adam has in a loooooong time. So Adam is happy to sit back and let Dan do everything for him.

Dan and Adam have another thing in (kinda) common: Dan's first channel is where he made his name (600k+ subs) and it's kind of abandoned with Social Blade only showing $20k/yr on the high end. Dan's active channel is his second channel which has just 125k subs and doesn't seem to be doing so well. Adam admits right off the top that he has no idea where the day will take him, because he literally has no idea where the day will take him. He emailed or texted with Dan, said hey, show me around and this day, we can film our vlogs together, and that was the extent of his effort. He's that lazy, Dan will do everything and explain everything.

Adam can start braiding the hair flowing across the middle of his ears from his upper sideburns.

The genius looks down and says, "Going along the old cobblestone, I guess technically this would be brick." Had it right the first time, buddy.

Before Dan shows up, this is the extent of the content Adam can provide: Walks down the street. Can't even identify the material the street is made of, reads the side of the building that says in giant letters, "The Wharf", sees an old pier and says "that's the old pier", sees some ducks and says "there are some ducks", and looks across the water and says, "there's some big ships, and a small little boat in the water, too." It's literally like taking a walk with a 6 year old.

They start in a graveyard. Dan is filming on his iPhone, like many modern youtubers, while Adam's old camera is chattering away trying to focus even in the daytime. They spend almost no time in the graveyard, only looking at one mausoleum. What was the point?

They stop at a shell of a building next to train tracks. Adam asked Dan what it was used for, Dan begins to explain that the cattle train would stop, platform extenders would bridge the gap between the train and the building, the cattle would...and that's all we know, because Adam cuts Dan off and suddenly we are looking at old payphone shells with McDonald's ads on the side. WTF? This is reminding me of the Flag Retreat Ceremony editing, just awful.

They just drive around with poor, shaky camerawork by Adam, nothing really interesting. One thing of note, Adam films a red diamond sign outside some rough-looking homes and says that Dan told him that's the sign for fire dept personnel to not go inside if there's a fire, only firefight from the exterior. Dan begins to explain and expound on that, but Adam interrupts him because he sees a restaurant named "Pak Man's Fried Chicken", and Adam must scream out the name as he sees it, cutting off Dan and ruining the explanation. Later Dan finally gets to finish and says it's for any city workers to know not to go inside.

It's one thing to document run down areas, less fortunate areas, poorer areas of a city, another to make fun of them. This one joke Adam has, where he sees a rundown place in disrepair, and does the "bit" (right Adam, this is one of your famous comedy "bits"?) where he pretends he's going to use the place as if it wasn't rundown and falling apart - "I'm gonna run in there are get a cold drink, I'm gonna just get some cash out of that ATM" - wow, it gets old fast and is pretty tone-deaf. That's not what documentarians do. You don't kick people and a community when they're down. Well, I guess you do if you're Adam the Woo. Nice to see Dan actually make him go inside a rundown bodega and buy a cold drink to support the store. Adam was probably crapping his pants, and wasn't brave enough to film inside at all.

Adam and Dan continue to explore not very interesting abandoned and run down places. These are all locations and places that Dan frequents and has done videos on for years and years and years, so the unless the recent Woovians are interested in Dan Bell and this content (doubtful), I'm not sure what the point of this endeavor would be. Leakin Park, in particular, is a place Dan has covered so much on his original channel years ago. It seems too dark even for Adam. They are barely there before they leave.

Dan shows him some old headstones in the middle of the woods back in the park. Adam just walks from stone to stone pointing at them, "wow, look at the old headstones, one here <he points at it like we can't see it>, and here <he points again, and here <points again>." Thanks, Captain Obvious. Adam sees a small snake and freaks out, as if he saw a rattler or something. Dan has to calm him down.

Back to bad downtown areas. Fittingly, Adam sees a handmade sign that says, "Be careful how you treat others" - words of advice, Adam. He then finds 3 CDs on the ground under a bench. But Adam is too chicken to touch them to flip them over and see what they might be. Remember what this guy used to do in his videos? Now he won't flip over a CD on the ground. They don't appear to be wet, the ground isn't wet, find something, a stick, a napkin, something, geez. If I knew I was going somewhere with Dan Bell, I can tell you I'd have a couple of pairs of disposable gloves in my pocket, along with an n95 mask. But that's too much thought and prep for Adam.

The HIGHLIGHT of the vlog is when they walk down an alley and Adam steps in feces. Dan believes it is human waste. I'm willing to roll with that analysis, since Adam is wearing the brand new $200 On Clouds and it makes it even better thinking about Adam desperately trying to clean it off back at the hotel all night (it could've been dog poo though, who knows). Adam makes himself feel better by finding something from the 80s, and spots some Robocop graffiti

Adam just runs the same joke over and over again, right into the ground. "You see, even though this salon says walk-ins are welcome, whoever tried to walk in there was not welcome!"

They walk through what used to be Baltimore's Chinatown, and Adam asks Dan "So there's not really a Chinatown anymore in Baltimore?" and Dan starts to answer but you can't hear him, and then Adam cuts off the answer anyway. Basically almost any time Dan is saying anything that might interesting, you either can't hear him or Adam cuts it off with a bad edit. Complete half-assery.

A few rare things missing from this vlog: no coffee in sight at all, and the vlog ends with a rare peek at Adam actually eating his one meal of the day, chicken fajitas at the Diner Latino on Eastern Street, two thumbs up from Dan and Adam.

Overall, this vlog was a failure because Dan didn't seem to put much effort into it (and why should he?), and you know Adam was putting zero effort in to begin with. Pretty lackluster (I may be a bit biased, as I already knew the few actual locations they went to from prior Dan Bell videos), just driving around not doing much, and the poor editing made it even worse.

Today (tomorrow) a ballpark tour and a night game and then he's leaving town for a mystery destination (DC? Somewhere else)? This is all we get to see of Baltimore?

 

[dirtnap101]

Let me fix the title for you: "A Day in Downtown Pittsburgh (but also mostly a Rays game that started at 1:30pm and took most of the afternoon, so how much of the 'day' could I have really spent in downtown Pittsburgh, but I'm really trying to hide that because my baseball vlogs do very poorly)"

Obviously I'm writing this as I watch, so I'll predict right now that the only non-baseball parts of Pittsburgh he experiences are things he can fit in quickly around the stadium before or after the game. The title makes it seem like he spent 8am until 8pm in downtown Pittsburgh with a planned agenda and filming constantly, and only took 2-3 hours out of that to see the Rays win.

Let's start with a "look at me, look at how thin I am!" reflection selfie (I refuse to use the term "Pepper's ghost" that Adam uses)

Adam says he "believes" the first pitch of the game is at 1:35pm. But I guess he's not 100% sure, even though he has a ticket that has the start time printed on it. Adam, always at the cutting edge of the news, stops for the coffee at Dunkin' and remarks that sometimes it's Dunkin' and sometimes it's Dunkin' Donuts, but he mostly just refers to it as Dunkin'.

It seems like Adam picked a hotel that would require him to have a walk through downtown Pittsburgh and across the Allegheny river to get to PNC Park, and he is pretending that this is his "day" in downtown Pittsburgh. Of course, when he just wanders in a general direction with his coffee, the content will be awful. He sees pigeons in Market Square, and naturally it can only remind him of Mary Poppins and Feed The Birds .

He looks at this sign on 6th street (which leads to the Roberto Clemente Bridge that - prior to being named after Clemente - was the 6th Street Bridge) and says "oh that's interesting, the 6 makes up the archway almost kind of sort of in the design, maybe I'm just reading too heavily into that but yeah." I guess it wasn't clear enough for Adam...

Then his first attempt at his theater's name is "By Ham"

Adam begins to cross the bridge and says that he was listening to Saturday's game on the radio, and a Pirates player hit a homer into the Allegheny in the air, no bounces, and it's only the 6th time that's happened. He then says, "Pirates are doin' pretty good this year I guess." Sure, because one guy hitting a homer into the river = the team doing pretty good. JFC. The Pirates are 37-40, the Rays are 38-40, and Adam says the Rays aren't doing very well this year. He's a genius and a huge baseball fan!

File this under the ever-growing stack of "Adam needs to see a doctor":

Yes, I had to play it back twice, and then check the transcript to be sure, he said this is stadium number 94 he's been to while rooting for the Rays. Pretty impressive. I guess that mushy 50 year old brain turned 24 into 94 somehow.

He then says he's "heard" from some people that this is a great ballpark but also from other people that PNC Park is not the best (I've never heard a bad word about it). Then he says that the view from the stadium is amazing. However, he'll have to climb to the top to check it out and then descend to his plush seat with no view of the river or city, right behind the Rays dugout, so he can be close to "the boys" and give them his Woo-strength to get the win.

Adam did look into a tour, but there are no tours today. I bet he could've gotten into town a few days early and gotten a tour before one of the night games, and found plenty of things to vlog in the Pittsburgh area IF HE WASN'T SO LAZY. But instead he did bizarre routes to see family and friends and backroads that nobody watches.

Adam is at the park early, so he walks over to the Andy Warhol museum. The footage in the museum begins at the 12:15 mark. We get creepy low-voice Adam (as if he was recording on a plane) with amazing insights like, "it's also interesting how he took normal products and just turned them into artwork." Uh, thanks Adam, no one's ever noticed that about Warhol before, very astute of you, did you go to art college?

The Museum footage ends at 16:35, so a bit over 4 minutes of the Andy Warhol Museum - it could be it's own vlog, but I guess 5 more towns with water towers are deserted streets were much more interesting. Adam got himself a magnet to bring home for the metal cabinets and try to make himself look a little more cultured beyond Disney and horror movies.

He stands at the riverside and points out everything he sees, including an incline railroad that he did not know existed - this answers my question from yesterday about whether he has prepared any other content for Pittsburgh. If he didn't know they have an incline, he's done zero research and probably isn't sticking around (although the incline could tempt him, I suppose).

He just can't get over this very large fountain off in the distance on the other side of the river, calling it a geyser and/or an open hydrant (???)

Adam spends about 1 minute looking at the Mr. Rogers sculpture, so that's a total of 5-6 minutes on the things in his title.

He enters the stadium, heads up top, raves about the view, says it's the best view of any stadium in baseball, but doesn't know if PNC is the best stadium in baseball. He says this because, in his words, "it's not modernized by any stretch of the imagination." Of course he doesn't go into detail on that comment. The place opened in 2001, so it's not exactly new, but it's also not exactly Fenway or Wrigley. Camden Yards in Baltimore opened in 1992 and is universally considered a great place to see a game, but I didn't hear Adam say anything about whether it was "modernized" (whatever that means) when he was there. Maybe it was his obsession/hatred for leaf blowers that upset him and made him talk bad about it, as he zoomed in on this poor grounds crew worker doing his job before the game

Nestled behind the dugout, the game starts. Yandy hits a homer. I don't know about anyone else, but when I see the Yankees in a foreign ballpark, I'm gonna clap when they do something, I will talk in a normal voice to someone with me, but unless I'm with a group of friends who are fans of the other team, I'm probably not going to be too boisterous. Not Adam, doing his Ed McMahon impression with the loud "Hi-ooooh" and yelling "on the first freakin' pitch". The Pirates catcher drops a pop foul, and Adam yells "oh, he dropped it, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp." He's 100% the guy you don't want to sit next to at the ball game, no matter who you're rooting for.

After that, Adam's footage (all illegal, remember - these aren't personal use videos he's going to show at the family BBQ or put up on his personal Instagram, this is all commercial footage he's using FOR PROFIT) becomes about the Pittsburgh parrot mascot, the entertainment and things like plastic bags floating around the field. He's also obsessed with the fact that the stadium announcements and entertainment are not referring to the team as the Pirates.

Adam once again blinds us all with his basic baseball knowledge. Earlier in the day he had a quick conversation with someone (likely a checkout clerk who took pity on him and talked to him for a minute) about facing the Pirates young ace, Paul Skenes, and the guy said good luck, you're gonna need it. After that Yandy homer, Skenes didn't give up another run, went 7 innings and struck out 8 - great performance. The Rays took the lead against the Pirates bullpen to win the game, and Adam decides to give a speech about how "they said it couldn't be done against their ace." It wasn't done against their ace, you dummy, it was done against their bullpen. He punctuates the last strike with another Ed McMahon "Hi-ohhhh". I know he's used that in general for some time, but at a baseball game???

He walks back to his hotel, doesn't even take a different way! He films some of the same stuff he filmed on the way in the morning! He's leaving early in the morning, so the route home will be the same bunch of backroads crap and places he's already been that he wants to see again. Where could he pass through? Pigeon Forge? South of the Border? Who knows...

 

[rkrstudio]

He flew all the way across the country for *checks notes* Burbank and Bob’s Big Boy. You’re in California, Mickey Moobs! Go to the beach, hike Chantry Flats to the falls in the San Gabriels, or check out some historical spots that aren’t from Back to the Future. No wonder this guy looks so depressed—he’s stuck in his own personal Groundhog Day.

 

[dirtnap101]

Oh boy, the slight underdog Knotts wins out! Well, at least for the purposes of getting another annual pass to Knotts. Once again, we are told "there's no telling where the day will take me", but I'm pretty sure we have an almost certain idea, and it's nowhere interesting.

Adam is surprised Knotts is busy, and immediately says he probably won't go on anything because it's so busy. Because he has so much on the schedule for today, such a busy docket, places to go and people to see (wait, didn't he just tell us he basically has nothing to do today? Isn't he on, essentially, vacation?). Why can't this guy just tell people, "Hey, I'm not waiting in any lines longer than 5 minutes. If the ride lines are longer than 5 mins, sorry!"? Goes to Knotts for a regular visit for the first time in a year, too frigging lazy to get there before opening to ride a ride!

What DOES he have PLENTY of time for? Looking at merch, of course. He gets his Starbucks coffee and his season pass, and then highlights the "Hangin' Tree" while saying that Knotts has lots of things you won't see at other theme parks. Of course Adam never says the name of the tree, he just shows it, as if that's ok. Inside, he's probably wishing that Splash Mountain never left, and that they instead added a "hangin' tree" outside the ride, I bet.

This one he's not afraid to say out loud for some reason

He just wanders around to all the awful dummy figure scenes in the Old West town including his big favorite, Sad Eye Joe. He talks to him just like he talks to the cows and squirrels and birds. It's enthralling!

Adam walks up to The Bottle House, but he wants to film the totem pole first. You can tell he's trying but cannot remember the name for it. He says, "got the Bottle House over here, a house made of bottles" and he films the pole and eventually gives up and calls it a "carved pole". Totem, buddy. Totem pole. Then he turns back to the bottle house and says, "it's called the Bottle House because it's made of bottles." Maybe see a doctor, get an MRI?

If this was a Disney park, he's say oh look, a "hidden" Mickey! And he finally found his replacement SoCal date for D23

Because he doesn't actually ride anything or see any shows, there's a lot of talking, so you get all the beaten horse Woo-isms like "queue line" and "fake facade". I wonder, are the Woo-isms actually "mini-bits" of Adam's? Like, he knows he says them and he knows they are wrong, but he thinks they are now "bits"? And what would a visit to Knotts be for the Woovians without the compliment to the Hangin' Tree, the "Cigar Store Indian" that Adam makes sure to give coverage to. Adam says he is "selling his wares".

I know Disney still has some stuff like this around as well, and I say shame on them both. If these are historical art, put them in a folk art museum and frame it historically, not as entertainment in a theme park. But I digress, my apologies.

Adam heads for his beloved Orange Circle, but briefly Woopeats where the infamous kiddie slide used to be that he rode his bike down. Adam says he still has some issues with his left knee due to the stunt - imagine if he actually went to a doctor at that time, got an x-ray and did real physical therapy rehab on it, he might not have any issues at all. He goes over it in extreme detail, since he knows it's more interesting than anything he does nowadays. He mentions that right before he did it, he thought to himself, "I'm about to do something really ignorant", which shows he even uses the word ignorant (lacking knowledge or awareness) incorrectly. Adam, what you did was just stupid (having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense).

And it's Woopeat time at the Circle, all the same stuff, all the same stores including going in to the antique store that has the Justin Scarred booth, of course, the store where he bought the bike he drove down the slide. Once again Adam is in a giant metro area full of independent coffee shops and he ends up buying all his coffee at Starbucks. Look at the options for coffee around the Orange circle!

Adam buys himself a t-shirt from a new restaurant that used to be a liquor store but he never bought liquor there (he doesn't drink alcohol), just soda (but he doesn't drink soda anymore) and he also used to buy ice there from a very old ice machine and the restaurant still has the old ice machine and sells this t-shirt of it (whew, wow, caffeine is a helluva drug)

Mr. Randomland makes an appearance and they do another great "comedy bit", it is so funny, trust me, you really should go watch it, it's totally worth it, it's comedy gold, Jerry, I definitely didn't want to run screaming from the room while watching it.

and 37 minutes after it started, "that's gonna do it for today". Again he did basically nothing. Knotts for essentially an errand of getting a season pass to get ready for haunt and Christmas seasons. And then he just walked around, Knotts, Orange, and ended up at Justin's house for no apparent reason. Pitiful.

 

[eatcherheartout]

He’s back to his Golden Corral ass looking salad I see.

 

[DA Stella]

Unbelievable. Universal backlot tour AGAIN today. He just doesn’t care.

Because the shut ins who make up his fan base will watch any dreck he puts out there. And he knows it. If people keep buying crap why would you bother creating diamonds?

 

[dirtnap101]

Ah, 626 day, International Stitch Day. I forgot he's now a huge Stitch fan since he went to Aulani. His first day home, and Adam managed to start filming something for the vlog at 5:30pm. Must be nice.

Adam did buy new sunglasses yesterday (aviators once again), but they are already broken. I can tell instantly he's not using any new camera yet, same crap quality, same awful autofocus noise chattering away. Anyway, it's right back into the WDW routine, headed to MK, so let the OCD routines begin:

Start on the wooded path near his house>car with the shot of "bigthefoot" air freshener>Mickey Power Pole>main WDW Welcome sign>MK parking booths>shows the name/row of his parking area>guess what, he's gonna walk (like he does 100% of the time he's alone)>shows "heavy metal Mickey".

Because it's Stitch Day, and there's what he calls a gigantic line at the TTC (so probably 5 minutes), he veers off to walk around the Poly and make all the same jokes and references he's made a million times (things will be "permeating", backside of water references, etc). He is so scared of the weather he refuses to take the Poly boat, and hops on the monorail. The singing never ends, "pulling into the station...". Yes, the weather's bad, I'm surprised he didn't feature that in his title for the clickbait.

Shockingly, he didn't show the sign entering the tunnels or the attraction posters underneath. Perhaps he doesn't intend to ride any of them. It's after 6pm in the evening, so Starbucks is almost empty, but Adam has hours until his one meal of the day and needs another coffee to artificially keep himself going.

After coffee, it's always merch time, and it's all Stitch all the time. Adam then moves on to roaming around the park and doing absolutely nothing. There is no thought put into anything at all. He just wanders around, sees something he has a random Stitch thought or weather-related thought about, and then he vomits the words out of his mouth.

Back to shopping for PINS! He wants to avoid buying Stitch pins he already owns so the 50yo baby actually took a picture of the Stitch pins on his pinboard at home before he left

He restrains himself by only getting one Stitch pin (he saw at least 2 that he didn't have) and he actually said he "didn't want to go completely down the rabbit hole of getting every single Stitch pin." Uh, like, isn't that your thing?

He found it in the pin store in Frontierland, so he takes this opportunity (in a voiceover) to (barely) address the Shootin' Arcade being walled off and gone forever for a DVC lounge. He seems to not be bothered by it at all, and says "DVC is taking over, it's getting very, very popular." Spoken like a guy who bought $130,000 worth of DVC points.

Over at Big Thunder, the sun has come out and Adam points his camera toward it and says, "ooh, look at the sunburst there, nice, nice little effect the sunburst. My camera's a little wet from the precipitation earlier, I probably should wipe the lens off. That looks pretty cool though with the little sunburst getting the little lens flares and all that." Yes, just gorgeous Adam, leave that new camera in the box forever!

Here's what cool lens flare might look like, not the dirty, blurry mess Adam shows

But I digress...Adam WAS going to ride Big Thunder when it was 25 minutes in the rain, but now it's 50 minutes so, no way Jose! Let's move on to his next OCD spot, the Tikis that spray water when it's hot. That's right, he doesn't even glance or show one single frame of Tiana's! Can you tell how excited he is about riding it?

He claims he wants to ride Jungle Cruise, but it's a 90 minute wait. Then Mr. Magoo gets closer and it's really a 50 min wait, but still much too long for someone of Adam's stature in the Disney community to wait in line. He opts to return to Tomorrowland and try the Speedway and the Peoplemover. Speedway shows 25 minutes and even THAT is MUCH too long for Adam to wait so he heads to Peoplemover first in the hopes that Speedway will drop, OMG what a line primadonna.

He tortures us with last year's Christmas party photos with Stitch on his phone

Newsflash, the Peoplemover line WAS TOO LONG FOR ADAM. He then gives a little speech about how it's nice to just walk around the park and not ride anything - yes, so thrilling for the audience. Does he go back and at least ride the Speedway? Nope. He rides NOTHING. "I think I'm going to start heading out...". He didn't do it on the way in, but he does it on the way out - he films the attraction posters in the tunnels under the train station.

We are now at the 20 minute mark of this vlog. It's already WAY too long, and he's done nothing but walk around the MK and spit out verbal diarrhea fueled by caffeine. But the vlog is 33 minutes long. It's like 9pm. Why prolong this vlog? If you read here enough, and you know his usual home routine, you know what's coming...

First, he gets on the monorail and films a ton of his ride back to the parking lot, talking about Stitch and what Stitch movies and shows he's seen and hasn't seen. Then he says he's been so busy with the road trip, returning his rental car, catching up with his parents, and then coming to the MK and filming this shit. Then he stops to lament the closed TTA gift shop again, OMG. Then he brings up pictures of Stitch toilet papering the castle one year on 626 day. He now OCD waits for the monorail pass by before continuing the walk to his car. If he feels he has to keep walking, there's a part of his OCD that makes him think if he just keeps talking, about anything at all he can think of, that will help the monorail show up.

Then he stops AGAIN because a tram is coming, and at least he can point at that and film it, and he's stopped which means it's another 10 seconds where the monorail could show up.

He starts walking again, but continues to talk about absolutely nothing, just nothing at all, because as long as he's talking and the camera is pointed to the beam behind him, the monorail might come

I AM NOT JOKING NOW PEOPLE. He stops and films this water on the ground. "What does this water patch look like? It's almost like when you look at clouds and you see things in the clouds, but this almost kinds looks like something or maybe it doesn't."

And then we get to it, down to the nitty gritty. There's a cut, and suddenly we're looking at yet another tram going by. "I was stalling all this time, for one reason and one reason only, because this....is....happening" and he pans over to the beam and zooms in

"There goes the monorail" he bellows loudly in the middle of the parking lot. And then even another tram rolls by underneath the beam, and he says look at that, it's a two-fer. Adam buddy, you know you could just turn the camera off, stand there, wait, and when the monorail comes then turn the camera back on. The audience doesn't need to see the inner workings of your OCD, dude.

As he walks he continues talking about what Stitch movie he will watch on his phone. He literally sounds like a maniac. Is this an act (the OCD isn't an act, but the rest of it)? Is this one of his comedy "bits"? "Crazy Adam"? HE STILL ISN'T BACK TO THE CAR YET. He films another tram go by.

Suddenly we're at Publix, to buy that evening's dinner. Then home alone to put his sad pin on his sad pinboard, resume eating his daily plate of slop, and to watch a movie even though he admits he's tired, and didn't sleep well the night before. Maybe you should have TAKEN A DAY OFF??? But with this idiot, never. He must film something every day!

I know everyone said yesterday's vlog to end the road trip was so low effort and awful, but for me, this one was much worse, so much worse. Starting at 6pm, going to MK and riding NOTHING, the constant verbal diarrhea that only got worse over the 33 minutes. The entire vlog was taken over by OCD rituals. I've said it before, I'll say it again, some of this was an act and all, but this guy is mentally ill and he is physically ill. Just the way he treats himself, finding himself at 5pm having filmed nothing, having slept poorly, having not eaten anything all day, and instead of just going to Publix, getting his stupid food, relaxing a bit and going to bed, he decides to go to MK, film this monstrosity, then eat late and stay up to watch movies all alone is insanity.

 

[2020planner]