A place for ranting/whinging

[tag]

I just feel done with it all.

I’m self employed and don’t think my business will survive this lockdown. My husband and I were on the edge of divorce last time, things had gotten better but i can see us back there. I had to shoulder all the home schooling and children last lockdown in March plus housework and cooking and try and keep my business afloat all while constantly tip toeing around so husband could work on the phone. It nearly did me in.

I’m dreading this time. Husband promises he’ll help more but he won’t, he’s so lazy. Yesterday I complained he was selfish for just making his lunch and not asking anyone else while I got the kids food ready and had to wait for mine. He promised he’d be better then did exactly the same thing today, when I asked him today he just rolled his eyes - but why should it all fall on me?! My youngest wraps him around his finger and although I’d told him no he wasn’t going out for a walk he went and asked husband who immediately jumped up and took him out. When I just pulled them up on it as they were leaving (like hang on I said no) it just caused another row and youngest leaving in tears. So now I feel guilty when he’s the one being manipulative.

Youngest child and I have a terrible relationship, he genuinely hates me (and has told me this several times and can’t wait to leave home) and is a handful for me plus he hates home schooling, last time I was in tears daily due to the way he speaks to me and it all just feeling too hard. Eldest is good and just gets on with stuff which makes me feel like I neglect him but I’m worried about his schooling this time and feel he needs pushing as he does the very bare minimum. I think home schooling is important as this is long term and will effect their futures.

I don’t feel like I have any friends. I’m struggling with my business and part of me thinks just shut and walk away so I can get through the next few months (I don’t believe for a second the kids will be in school before September) yet the other part of wants to cry when I think of giving it all up. We are very thankfully financially stable so I just wonder if I close to draw a line under it all and remove one stress...then I worry what I’ll do in a years time as I’m unqualified for everything.

Just feeling so down today. Just dreading the next few months as this fucking virus is robbing us all of so so much. My heart aches when I think of all people who needs help and imply aren’t getting it.

I’m so sorry for being self indulgent. I am very thankful to have a house and be okay, today is just really hard. I’m not sure what’s the point of me being around anymore.

 

[idk2]

Mine is definitely alot more light hearted compared to some of these but for fucks sake, I CANT COOK.

This bloody pandemic has really highlighted how much I relied on takeaways and easy meals in the past. However due to fact that I live at home and most my evening meals are prepared for me, I have never really needed too (bar university). However with both my parents pulling OT as essential workers, as the oldest I'm often left to fend for myself and my siblings. 9/10 it does not go well.

My university diet of pasta, fish fingers, chips and noodles really isnt cutting it anymore.

I also have this insane thing where I hate to waste food so I don't like trying new recipes because I know if I don't like it, I won't eat it therefore wasted and then after all that, I'm still starving too. Effort.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Sorry to everyone that is struggling. Generally I’ve been ok covid wise, up until now. Now I just feel completely fed up. I miss being with my friends so, so much.

I’m actually surprised how much I miss them just being together in a group, being close and feeling truly happy feels like.... an alien concept now! Up until now I’ve felt like things will get back to normal soon enough but now it just feels.... bleak.

I also really miss travelling. I feel like visiting new places is such a positive thing to have to look forward to in terms of how I manage my (low level) depression. It gives me something to plan / budget for and be excited about.

It’s so exhausting now.

 

[Bobbleowl90]

I asked a friend if she wanted to meet up in the park one day with our babies as itll do them good and she’s not seen my son for six months.

“It’s too difficult at the moment with covid” was the response I got. Yet she can meet other people indoors or for a walk. But not me. She was meant to be my best friend and my bridesmaid. I’m sick of trying to make an effort and nobody want to talk to me or see me. Shes not replied since and I’m so fed up.

 

[CherryBakewell]

My rant is just how lonely I feel. I had a baby in June and had all these images of baby classes, making new friends and that hasn’t happened. My husband works offshore so I’m on my own a lot and it’s hard. I’m lucky that I have my mum for support but bloody hell. It’s so lonely. I know most people are in the same boat so I don’t want this to be a woe is me thing but I’m just so lonely just now

 

[Causewaygal]

My whinge ... my husband went to bed at 11.55pm on New Years Eve. I know it’s been a shit year and I’m not really one for celebrating anyway but who does that ?!?!

 

[Sayitisntso]

My husband is always ill or tired , I’m not exactly a gym goer. But I do wonder this is it now ,I fear we are mid 30s going on 70s . it’s been like this way before covid he’s seen the doctor and Hospital on and off for so long and they can’t find anything serious. I am envious of people with loving and active husbands , i don’t want to run a marathon or go sky diving but after covid I can’t continue to live in a ground hog day life of sitting around doing nothing ahhhhh

 

[under the ivy]

i am so sick of the whole covid situation but at the same time i am terrified of going back to normal life, i am not ready for it at all i catch myself thinking 'ah maybe it would be good to postpone xyz another month just in case'... just to give myself more time to ''prepare'' to face the world, ugh i'm annoying myself :/

I feel exactly the same. As much as I hate this situation, I’m dreading ‘normal’ life again. I’m an introvert, I love my own space & being indoors so a lockdown is perfect for me I don’t wish to conform to any norms or pressure once life is normal again. Just be kind to yourself x

 

[bolimepipi]

i am so sick of the whole covid situation but at the same time i am terrified of going back to normal life, i am not ready for it at all i catch myself thinking 'ah maybe it would be good to postpone xyz another month just in case'... just to give myself more time to ''prepare'' to face the world, ugh i'm annoying myself :/

 

[Mulholland Drive]

On Monday 4th I was arrested by the police for buying alcohol from a vendor. Spent the next 27 hours in a prison cell, released and charged, along with been handed a Written Notice, to appear in court 14th January,

I paid what is called here a "Admission of Guilt" fine, which means I won't have to appear in court because I have admitted guilt. However, it does mean I have a criminal record!

I admit my guilt, but I was desperate. I'm an alcoholic, but in South Africa the buying of alcohol is banned as part of the current lockdown. I had gone almost a week without a drink but I was becoming far more agitated and desperate to the point where I had to buy booze from illegal sources.

The problem/annoyance I have is that neither the police, the courts or the South African government have considered alcoholics such as myself, who are going a little cranky now that we can't get our fix!

As for me. I have a criminal record, that will live with me for the next 10 years. But it also means I still can't have a drink. My only option is to return to the UK. But from I understand England is currently in another lockdown, and I don't think they're accepting people flying in from South Africa

Therefore, I seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. And I still need a drink!

 

[watermelon sugar]

My fella
Jeeeeeez is he taking the piss with this broken ankle. Every 5 minutes 'Watermelloooooon' getting me to do bloody everything. He has no trouble hobbling to the kitchen every hour for a smoke but cant get up and get the remote? Piss off mate

Gonna be a long 8 weeks girls.

 

[jarv]

Big whinge and I am aware my life is easy compared to what others are going through but I am just sick to death of my life. It's so dull, I wake up everyday here we go again. Work has dried up but I'm salaried so I know it's daft to moan about that when I literally have days of being paid for doing nothing. I've got a really busy period coming up in a month's time and I just don't feel like I can handle it again, it nearly broke me last year. I'm just sick of everything, miserable all the time and keep taking it on my bf even though he's frustrated too and it's not his fault at all, he's just the only other bloody sod I see!! I really just want to flounce out of work today but I know that's stupid.

 

[Kat5998]

*sigh* where to begin lol

I’m 22, me and my mum have been staying with my dad for nearly 2 years due to having abuse from our new nextdoor neighbour. I’m grateful to be with both my parents in the same place, however not being settled with my own furniture and possessions is getting to me. All our stuff is at our “house” and there’s not enough room here to bring it over. Our clothes are in bin bags, probably rotting.

Lockdown. My parents are in their 70s and 60s and I’m so fortunate to have them both with me, but I’m not getting on with them, especially my mum. The last time I saw someone my own age face to face was in August.

I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety over the last 10 years, covid has made me not leave the house, I’m worried about bringing it into the house, but my parents (especially my dad) go Tesco without a care in the world. I haven’t left the house in 2 months. I feel trapped.

Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for 5 and a half years, I live in South Wales and he lives 5 hours away by train in Merseyside. I only saw him once last year. These lockdowns are hard enough without me and him having different rules and tiers. I’ve been tempted to go and stay with him due to not getting on with my mum, however I don’t want to put my boyfriends mum at risk because she had 2 strokes back in 2010 and her immune system isn’t very strong.

Everything is just so bleak. Never ending.

I’m sleeping from 6am - 4pm just to escape it all.

If you read all this, thank you

 

[watermelon sugar]

I'm just so fed up with life

 

[Flyingbaby]

I need this thread!

currently my toddler is awake and has been since 4.30am the white noise batteries died and he woke up screaming! So I get up in the cold and dark to rummage around downstairs to try and find some more! I have to go to work today / my husband doesn’t hes fucking happily snoring away (which I don’t believe is real - he definitely woke up aswell but pretended to be asleep) he sleeps though it all then moans if he hads to get up at 6!!!!! He only has to look after the little one for a few hours today while I’ve been awake since the crack of dawn!

he also will not clear up ANYTHING because it’s so hardto open the dishwasher or put the dirty nappy in the bin. Somehow I manage to look after a toddler and clean the house do the washing and produce tea on the table when he comes home! I will have nothing when I get back!

It fucks me off that I’m awake and he’s asleep when I have to get up in half hr to go to work even though I’ve repeatedly knee’d him to wake up

he also comes to bed stupidly late and moans he’s tired

his whole sleep attitude since the baby has been born is greedy and it well and truly pisses me off

My whinge is about crap people in general, I’ve made it even more an effort to check in on people due to covid etc and I’m 100% sure if I didn’t check in on people no one would even check in with me

No one has bothered with me either
I’ve worked constantly throughout and in an environment where I am in contact with thousands of people who do not wear masks correctly most of the time
They have all been furloughed and keep going out on jolly’s to the garden centre or non essential shop and it’s fucking me off!!!

 

[Misbehaving]

I wasn't sure where to post this, I thought about posting on the secret opinions thread, but what I have to say may sound like self pity.
I am feeling really negative at the moment, it began yesterday morning when they announced that the Oxford vaccine has been approved. I felt a little pressurised into ringing my Doctor's surgery, to ask if I could be made a priority, because of the nature of my work.
My place of employment has had a recent outbreak of Covid. Before this happened the staff were offered the opportunity to have the first vaccine that was available, most of us did not take them up on the offer. I really don't want something which may cause horrible side effects. Infact the more people talk about it, the less I want to have it. But there are vulnerable people to consider.

If I may go off on a tangent, this is where the self pity comes into play. Whilst I enjoy contributing to Tattle, I have never really felt like I have fitted in. Maybe it is my age, and not being on the same wavelength as everybody else. I don't have children, so I can't really empathise with the parents on Tattle. Communication has never been my strong point anyway.
My apoIogies to anyone of a delicate disposition, I think that is enough whinging for now!

I don't think your whinging far from it but your maybe being a bit hard on yourself.
Its normal to have doubts about things or to be worried about potential risks of your job or to your health or that of others.
Its called being responsible and being fair minded and taking the time to make the right decision and there is nothing wrong with that.
I think we can all feel pushed and pulled in many different directions at the moment and sometimes its hard to know if we are doing tbe right thing or not but we just have to try to do what we think is right at any given moment.
So try not to over think it or beat yourself up!
Don't worry as well about not fitting in on tattle life as i often feel like that as well because i'm by nature a bit of a loner...
It is what it is and we can't all be extroverts or full of confidence so don't worry about it accept yourself and make your peace if you can but be kind to yourself if you are feeling low and understand that it will pass and that with things the way they are its completely normal.
Also (although i'm a parent) plenty of people on here aren't (its not mumsnet thank god!!)
and basically we are all just going through many diffrent kinds of struggles and yours are just as relevant.
You have nothing to apologise for but thank you for being considerate of others but also practice being considerate towards yourself as well.

 

[Evabee]

My rant is ive been on the NHS waiting list for therapy for 9 months! My depression got so bad at one point I ended up paying nearly £600 for private therapy. Lockdown is really getting to me and I’m struggling
The people on the phones are always so rude as well, acting as if you’re an inconvenience to them. Doctors receptions are the most miserable people

 

[lozzapaloozza]

Just a quick vent but I’m sick of people making everything about them and their lives even when others are trying to talk about themselves for once

 

[Rockin' Robin]

How about the Government wasting millions of pounds on opening the Nightingale Hospitals, only to close most of them before this second, even worse wave of Covid 19 began?

 

[watermelon sugar]

My rant is just how lonely I feel. I had a baby in June and had all these images of baby classes, making new friends and that hasn’t happened. My husband works offshore so I’m on my own a lot and it’s hard. I’m lucky that I have my mum for support but bloody hell. It’s so lonely. I know most people are in the same boat so I don’t want this to be a woe is me thing but I’m just so lonely just now

I feel the same, I had my son right before lockdown began and I visioned all the baby classes and Mum dates, showing him off to my friends & family and none of it happened. My fella works 12 hour days and im on my own alot. I dont live near my family so I barely get to see them. It's been so hard