thetimtracker : Most liked Posts

I'm going to start with a disclaimer for the lurkers/newcomers. I booked this cruise when it was first announced. It was a 7 night Inaugural Lighthouse Point cruise with a stop at Castaway Cay and Nassau. This was my 18th Disney Cruise. So, we cruise Disney. A lot. This is my 6th cruise in 2 years. I DID NOT book this cruise because I thought the Trackers would sail on it. It didn't even occur to me that they would be on it until a few months before sailing. Even then, I figured they were on the DVC cruise with The Holy Moly. We are a family of all adults, so I thought, even if we were on the same sailing, that we wouldn't see them. I'm an early riser. We don't spend a lot of time in the pool/kid's splash pad area. I thought I would maybe see Tim recording at the deck parties and big events. I was wrong.

I was to be clear here: I NEVER followed them if I saw them. I NEVER tried to find them. I NEVER looked around to see if they were around me. For some fucking weird reason, they were just always where I was. If they weren't were I was at any given moment, one of them showed up. Towards the end of the cruise, I was convinced that they were actually stalking me. Kidding, but maybe not.

Again, for clarity: I NEVER approached them. I NEVER spoke to them, although this one time, I do not know how I had enough self control to not go off. Even when seated very close to them, I did not look in their direction. I did not engage them. I did not take photos or video, with the exception of when we were all in very large crowds. I also did not record the children. I could have. I could have a million times. But, unlike Tim, I have morals and will not exploit someone else's child.

About me: I am an introvert who hates interacting with people but I absolutely love to people watch, if that makes sense. I could sit on a bench at the Magic Kingdom for 12 hours and just watch people. They posts I make going forward will be about my observations while I was on this cruise.

Jenn and her daughter in 10 years.

Fixed it.

It’s early but I’m throwing it in the ring:

The Tim Tracker #175: The future no longer looks Rosie

THERE IS A NANNY!!!!!!!

Shorter, dark curly hair, Hispanic looking VERY YOUNG woman. Holding J$ hand.

And Jenn is gigantic.

Tim and Mike walked by. About 5 mins later, Jenn came past.

TawdryT said:

It just needs the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme.

Click to expand...

Done and done.

I suggest we all take a short break from roasting the Trackers non-stop to reflect momentarily on the true unsung hero of the Bojo media empire: Jenn's jorts.

The poor jorts didn’t sign up for this, but they have stoically marched on like real troopers. Never complaining throughout the yeast infections, the queefs, and the menstrual horrors best left unspoken, these kevlar-coated coochie cutters have seen things you people wouldn't believe.

Future generations of scientists will continue to research their incomprehensible elasticity and durability, working tirelessly to unravel their mysterious properties which defy the very laws of nature. The world of fashion will note the Great Babymoon of 2022 as the turning point whence jorts moved from the marginalised peripheries of the trailer park into the must-have wardrobe stable of every chic and elegant woman. Goodbye Little Black Dress, hello Crusty Musty Jorts!

Just as the jorts themselves are now physically inseparable from Jenn's engorged and swollen body, they have also become inextricable from the hard-grifting spirit that the Youtube theme park vlogging community was built on. The jorts are now woven into of the very fabric of America. And we are all stronger for it.

So fellow Tattlers, let us all give thanks—for not only being witnesses to history, but being part of it.

The Tim Tracker #117: Jenn Tracker.. We Salute Your Jorts!

I cannot share what I would like to share right now. I actually have two stories on my list of things to spill when I get home—-but he fucking hates her. He absolutes cannot stand her. Do you know when you are near two people and you can just feel the negative energy between them? That. 1000 times that. It’s all a show folks. It’s all for the clicks and views. She may or may not be into him….he fucking cannot stand her.

Im going to add—we are skipping dinner tonight because even though it is only Day 4, I cannot eat anymore. I was laying in the rainforest room trying relax and the woman next to me was snoring so loud I’m ready to kick her. So I’m bringing my rage here.

Still thinking about their new shirt design:



And decided to update it for accuracy:



(I’m sorry lol)

I updated the stan collage.

Happy birthday to me. I got to give them both the finger today. It is a good day

Wow, looks like I’ve missed a lot. I had a bit of a fall on Thursday morning…well a big fall. 2 ambulance rides and a few nights in the hospital... I got home last night. Two fractures in my ankle, a fractured tibial plate and two fractured ribs. I'm in a wheelchair for 10-12 weeks and have to follow up with a trauma orthopedist to see if I'll need surgery. Looks like I missed quite a shit show. I'm on a lot of pain meds, but I'll try to catch up some today in my awake time. But you're doing a great job keeping me entertained, even though I haven't been with it enough to post.

I’ll share two little sips of tea this morning:

Over heard last night—two guys talking: Hey do you see Tim Tracker sitting over there. Yea, that guy is a DICK. I almost struck up a conversation but I convinced myself if could be a trap.

Second—just an observation…Tim does not like to be in a room full of people who know more than him. He is a visible sore loser. Every single person was laughing…Tim looked pissed.

Going to throw this one in the ring
TTT 178: Xmas Is Starting Now (on Tattle)

OK. Next up (these are not in chronological order).....I'll call this one: How I met J$

This is Nassau day....Day 4. Up until this point in the cruise, I had not seen Jenn. By now, y'all have seen my THERE IS A NANNY!!!!! post. This day I just kept bumping into Jenn and Nanny over and over again. Jenn was camped out next to the drink station most of the day. Every time I walked past there, she was with O and Nanny and J were no where to be seen. Nanny was in the pool/splash pad with J$. I also posted the pic of Tim/Mike/Peter/Kitra/Rae/Jun down on the dock. We've since learned Tim and Mike went off to see Deezy.

OK. So I went up to the drink station to get myself a drink. For those of you who have never sailed DCL, I took a photo of the drink station. This is the soda side. The backside is coffee. Jenn was positioned on the opposite side of where this photo was taken, next to the coffee, facing the water, for most of the day. This pic wasn't taken at the time of this interaction....so don't come at me for accuracy.



So I'm walking up to the drink stand.....stick my right hand out to grab one of those cups....ooof....my knees....it's a kid grabbing the cup that I was about to grab. WTF kid, why you running at my old lady knees like that!!!!! I made a slight audible sound, was ready to go off and....it's J$. From behind I hear Tim's voice. J$---you can have Vitamin Water or Lemonade. Remember, not soda, what do you want? J$ plows into me again. Now I'm standing there, cup in hand and Tim cuts in front of me to get to the ice. No excuse me. No J$ you bumped into this (very nice) lady, apologize. Nothing. Crickets. And when I mean I used every ounce of strength that I had to not completely go off on them.

So--I'm still going back and forth. Developmentally disabled in some way, isn't aware of his surroundings, was focused on getting his drink, didn't even realize he plowed into me.....or brat? But you know who is a brat? Tim. Because as the parent, his ass should have apologized for his child and corrected his behavior and allowed me to get my drink first. (This happened before I saw the head hitting/finger posturing DD)

So---if you've never been on DCL, in the middle of where this drink stand is, is the giant TV with movies playing. Oh look, Emperors New Groove is on Funnel Vision....my new favorite movie. It is a good movie. So I plant my ass in a chair right there and I've never been so interested in a movie in my life.

Tim is back from Nassau (I didn't know he had left the ship at the time) and he's here to collect his family. Nanny must have returned to her room. Mike is not around. The negative energy here---you can feel it a mile away. Tim is cleaning up the chair area where Jenn had spent her day. Picking up the baby's toys and whatever crap they had all over the chairs. Jenn is literally standing there watching him. J$ is whining about something (couldn't hear, I was watching his body language) and drinking his drink. Tim is THROWING the towels . Bringing them to the towel bin. Shoving them in the bin. Moving the stroller. I don't want to use the word violent but he's tidying up with force. Jenn is still literally standing there watching him. No words. Just staring. No verbal communication. No assistance. They walked away together.

Over the 7 days on the ship, this is the first of 3 instances where I saw them all 4 of them, together. The others were the Diaper Dash and the whatever party thing in the lobby where J$ was rolling around on the carpet. I never actually saw Tim and Jenn speak to each other. After the past week, I truly believe they only interact when the camera is on. I also think Tim is a dick, but Jenn is a cunt for just standing there while Tim cleaned up her crap. There was no reason why, if Tim had picked up J$, Jenn couldn't clean up her own area, take Da Baby and go to the room.

Edited to add: This was the story from when I posted that he cannot stand her. Truth is, they probably can't stand each other. The only interactions they have are the ones we see in the videos.

Well someone went out of her way to find me on Twitter....I don't tweet. I've never liked or replied to anyone's anything. Even when I was talking to I made a totally new name.

Awwww Jenn, did reading the truth about your family hurt? Boo fucking hoo, bitch.

OK last story...this happened at one of the trivias, Movie Quote Trivia. Of course, I was in my seat for at least 5 minutes when Tim and Mike walked in. This was an adult only trivia and was hosted by a guy named Declan. Declan is a funny guy and if you've cruised with him before, you know he has the personality to host night time events on a Disney cruise. So they showed a quote on the screen and you had to write down the movie title. There was a range of movies--Mrs. Doubtfire...Goodfellas...Shawshank Redemption...Saw...it was all over the place. The room was very crowded as most trivias were on this cruise. There were a few tables with guys who, every time Declan said something, they'd come back with some sort of comment/wise crack. Tim did not like this. Every person in the room was laughing. Like pee your pants kind of laughing at some points because Declan was playing off what the guys were saying and it was going back and forth and people were yelling out stuff. It was all kind of PG13, not offensive at all, but it was an adult event. Tim looked like he was at a funeral. He did not like that these folks were getting attention. He also didn't like that a lot of people knew the answers and he did not. Stone faced the entire time. It gave a glimpse of the real Tim when there are other males in the picture.

This was also the same trivia when I was walking out one guy said to his friend: Did you see Tim Tracker sitting over there? And the friend said---Yea, he's a dick.

That's the end of my list folks. I'm anxious for when these vlogs come out because I'm sure they will showcase a side of the cruise that I didn't see with them.