aimzalicious

VIP Member
He went out to work at 5am and came home at about 1pm. I slept, watched tennis on his Sky TV and smoked cigarettes. When he was there we had sex, (I wanna barf), or he'd wank off his mushroom over my boobs. He had a very long and thin penis with a ridiculously disproportionate glans. He would cook Chicken Dippers for us. It's all he ate. He had nothing else in. I ordered food for us a few times because I wouldn't have been able to shit living like that for a week.

He owned the house outright though he had a low-paid job because he'd purchased it with inheritance. He had odd priorities. No washing machine but Sky TV and every games console you can imagine. I got out of the shower one day and asked for a towel. He said I should have brought my own. I used one of his briefly until I realised it was either filthy or had been washed and dried very slowly - it stank of mildew. After that I dried myself on spare clothes I'd brought. Additionally the place had no heating. Oh and he wouldn't let me into the spare room.

My period came on while I was there and completely ruined his mattress. I felt bad until he ghosted me when I got home. Meanwhile I met my now husband! He caught wind of me seeing someone, presumably from stalking my twitter, and tried to ingratiate himself again. I led him up the garden path, with hub's knowledge, so that I could eventually tell him to fuck himself. Sometimes I check his twitter and he hasn't evolved at all. This was over a decade ago so he's in his late 30s.

He thought he was deep because he enjoyed films with Manic Pixie Dream Girls in. Lame. I know now he was only interested because I was unstable, big titted with red hair - things he fetishised.
sesame-street-what-did-i-just-read.gif
 
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Crabbypatty00

Well-known member
@JellyDonut babe get the heck out of there. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING as depressing as spending your life with a tightarse. It's never going to change and will repulse you more and more. I speak from experience.

My final straw was when he had won several thousand one evening gambling (a regular occurrence but he never EVER bought or did anything or treated me with his winnings, just hoarded it like a miser) but couldn't get his shoes on fast enough to get to the pub to get a drink out of a friend who had won £100 on the pub lottery.

I still think of the shock my vagina went into watching him race out of the door to get a free celebratory pint from our lovely friend. What a bellend.

Also the pitying expressions on waitresses faces when I paid (again) because he had "forgotten" his card at dinner 🤢
 
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Trolleydollycoffeelover

Well-known member
Went on a date with someone last year- 41 and an airline pilot. His date suggestion was.... NANDOS and a ‘cheeky’ one at that. It felt like I was out with one of the Inbetweeners. I suggested a change of restaurant- Indian, Asian, Arabic but he ‘didn’t do spicy food’ so ended up in a steakhouse (I’m vegetarian). Had an ok conversation so was prepared to work on the lack of tastebuds but then he messaged me the next day asking if I fancied coming round for SPOONING. Who even says that? He kept saying spoons, spooning like he had some form of Tourette’s then the final straw the day after that was getting a message saying WAKEY WAKEY SPOONY SPOONY 🤮🤮🤮🤮
 
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ProphecyGirl

VIP Member
Men who wear stuff like Marvel t-shirts, Disney t-shirt, Pokemon and so on

Like if you wear something saying you're a Gryffindor then please do one. And if you're wearing something like that then you're probably a Hufflepuff anyway
 
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wordzalad

VIP Member
My friends just shared one with me. She was messaging a lad and whatever they spoke about he’d add in text action

like

“I like Christmas too! I’d like it more if I had someone to *blushes* spend it with”

or

“yes I like this weather too. It would be better if I had someone to *cuddles* cosy up with”

She blocked him
 
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hereforthe_tea

Well-known member
My boyfriend is a walking ick.

1) he is religious with using hand cream and lip balm
2) he always takes a reusable bag for life to the shop with him (folded up into a near square in his pocket)
3) he gives commentary as he’s driving, e.g. “just going to increase my stopping distance to the car in front because…” constantly.
4) he sits and watched YouTube review videos on watches for hours
5) he earns a shit tonne of money and has a lot of investments, etc. but is the STINGIEST PERSON I KNOW. He had several free Costa drinks on the app and some were close to expiring he’s had them that long. I suggested one Sunday morning we go for a walk into town and use them, just something to do. He immediately began lecturing me on how it’s not sensible to use them and if I want a coffee when we’re out he has a travel mug we can fill with coffee at home and share it between us whilst we’re out . He also literally never treats me to anything, I’ve never had a birthday or Christmas present from him (we’ve been together 3 years).
6) he’s into fantasy football and has his fake little football teams and 🤢
7) he shouts at the tv when watching football/F1
8) he has Google home speaker things and when he talks to them he has to say “ok Google, turn my lights on” etc and it makes me want to die. He’s also got it set so when he says “ok Google, good morning” it turns his bedside lamps on and plays the radio
Why are you with him?
 
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Hastaggifted

VIP Member
I RAN HERE!!!! The fact he made this, watched it and STILL thought it could be posted!!
 
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DanaScully

Chatty Member
In a restaurant tonight and heard a couple (man/woman) on a nearby table complaining to the waiter that they were cold.

Shortly after, the waiter appeared with a small blanket and the man took it off him and put it over his shoulders like a little shawl. 🥴
 
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Evabee

Active member
I once dated a guy who said delicious right after he orgasmed.
Instant ick, it made me shrivel
 
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Holidaybobs

VIP Member
Been having an argument since Thursday night because he came home with a head torch for his runs. Never known an ick like it before 🤢 He asked, would I rather him come home muddy and bleeding from falling in the dark. I said, respectfully yes x
 
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sassmaster3000

Chatty Member
Couples who have joint Facebook accounts ie Steveandsally Smith, Janetandjohn Jones, then sign off comments based on which of the wetwipes has written it 🤢
I have some elderly relatives who had a joint Facebook account. When the husband died, she changed the account to just her name and changed the profile photo to a picture of her with a massive cocktail. Literally two days after he died 😂😂
 
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TC14

Chatty Member
Had a date few months ago , we arranged to meet at a country pub midway to where we both lived. I arrived 20 minutes early so I could sit outside and wait rather than turn up looking for him.

Then he turned up on a horse!!! Jumped off greeted me as he recognised me from my picture , his hair had grown at least 4 inches in length since the picture he had sent me. Then managed to down 3 pints in an hour. I made lame excuses and left saying I wasn't really up for eating a lunch!!

WTF.. who turns up to date on a fucking horse !!!
 
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FogOfWar

Well-known member
« You know what’ll drive women crazy ?

- my weird AAA-cup nips ;
- my quite freshly inked tattoo that I clearly had done in middle age ;
- sucking my gut in ;
- pulling my shorts down to the base of my cock to coquettishly reveal the top of my pubes ;
- in a fairly unkempt garage.

Perfect. I’ll be beating ‘em off with a shitty stick. »
 
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StillLucilleBluth

VIP Member
We can close the thread, guys, it’s over - I just saw a guy on an app say one of his favourite things was “skin on skin cuddles”. Aaaaand I’m out. Celibacy never looked so good.
 
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