I've got to the point where I've had to unfollow Jess. I subscribed back in 2012, watched every single video she did between then and 2017, and now I just find her unwatchable. She's always been quite laid back with her scheduling and social media and I never minded that personally, because she would produce good content and she would do a full vlogmas and vlogtober. I liked her as a person too. I know she has always been rich, but I felt like there were other things about her that were relatable. Now, it does not sit right with me that everything is sponsored, every (uninspiring) outfit she shows costs several grand, she's surrounded by clutter, she has a child she doesn't look after, she's forced Zak to quit his job and essentially be a stay at home dad (except they also hire a nanny), she has paying subscribers that she won't engage with, her vlogs are all of her talking in her bes, she has a whole diary just to schedule beauty appointments, she's wasted her talent and education, and most of all she just seems like a really 'meh' person. There is no personality anymore, nothing at all really behind those eyes- all she talks about is extremely vague book reviews and things the sponsor of the video told her to say. She also says she has been "busy" a lot but has nothing to show for it. When there is content, it's not creative, and she either looks fed up or is forcing a smile that comes across as smug. On Instagram I even find her to be unlikable. I am not surprised we don't see many friends around her anymore, because if she was someone I knew I'd resent the way she goes on about being so tired and busy when she literally does nothing and still has a lot of money, a partner and a child. She just seems so soul-sucking and whenever I see her I feel sad because she didn't used to be this person. Who even is Jess anymore?
Rolls eyes and inhales. We can say WOMEN who give birth. Stop with the erasure of women and facts please. I understand that there are non binary and trans men that give birth, but for goodness sake we are allowed to say women who give birth. This is ridiculous.
eilidhh
Active member
And imagine describing this situation as "chaos"...
getawaywithit
VIP Member
I’m not against these kinds of forums being scrutinized, (and I do think there is some bad behaviour), but it’s rarely ever done well and I think it’s irresponsible to pick and choose certain comments to create a narrative that was clearly already pre-decided. People had long discussions here about Jess being pregnant in the broader context of her ’image’, aka the intimate personality that she sells to all of us. We have, through HER choice, born witness to her life and education and career trajectory. Motherhood was another element of that. But the article makes it seem as though it’s just malevolent and disturbed that anyone would then start discussing her and motherhood. What, are we all supposed to weep and start knitting onesies? I also think the cancer treatments reference was out of line, I can’t remember anyone alluding to something of the sort— but maybe if you put in context that Jess is rich, grown, and still living with her mom so as not to pay rent, that might explain why others were referencing her mother. But literally the only comments I remember around that topic were ones justifying Jess’ pregnancy because her mom was sick.
Jess and others have actively and purposefully sold an image to her viewers and willingly publicized her private life... viewers therefore invest in this kind of brand and continually respond to it. Why would it only ever be positive responses? That makes no sense. If you literally film yourself in bed and running baths and walking around your mom’s house in PJs and you detail your life plans to your audience— then that boundary has already been blurred if not taken away. What’s more, you invite an audience to consume you as media... and audiences always have critical responses.
Jess and others have actively and purposefully sold an image to her viewers and willingly publicized her private life... viewers therefore invest in this kind of brand and continually respond to it. Why would it only ever be positive responses? That makes no sense. If you literally film yourself in bed and running baths and walking around your mom’s house in PJs and you detail your life plans to your audience— then that boundary has already been blurred if not taken away. What’s more, you invite an audience to consume you as media... and audiences always have critical responses.
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midsummer1
Active member
Something about her attitude is getting really unpleasant to watch. I think her personality is becoming obnoxious with time because she's getting older and is no longer mature for her age. She should have realised by now how vain, excessive and self-serving her behaviours are.
When she discloses so indifferently and casually that she bought a stack of books for no reason (she had already listened to them or read them digitally)... It depresses me somewhat. Also she says she wants to be more conscious about choosing the right items when adding to her wardrobe in the future, without mentioning that she could actually stop adding new clothes to her wardrobe. It's not even a question: she will continue to consume way more than the average person and is unapologetic. She never contemplates that she could actually CHANGE these behaviours, and it's totally within her power.
The way she talks and handles items in videos reminds me of a spoilt child going through a stack of gifts. Yes, she's 25 and has her own money, but our planet is shared. She is just dripping with STUFF and doesn't comprehend the gravity of it. Like if you have ever looked at a photo of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, you know what I mean - seeing her rapidly consume so much stuff is pretty sickening. For someone who reads so much environmental sci fi... there are no words. She is obviously someone who chooses books based on certain virtuous connotations.. Look at yourself FFS
When she discloses so indifferently and casually that she bought a stack of books for no reason (she had already listened to them or read them digitally)... It depresses me somewhat. Also she says she wants to be more conscious about choosing the right items when adding to her wardrobe in the future, without mentioning that she could actually stop adding new clothes to her wardrobe. It's not even a question: she will continue to consume way more than the average person and is unapologetic. She never contemplates that she could actually CHANGE these behaviours, and it's totally within her power.
The way she talks and handles items in videos reminds me of a spoilt child going through a stack of gifts. Yes, she's 25 and has her own money, but our planet is shared. She is just dripping with STUFF and doesn't comprehend the gravity of it. Like if you have ever looked at a photo of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, you know what I mean - seeing her rapidly consume so much stuff is pretty sickening. For someone who reads so much environmental sci fi... there are no words. She is obviously someone who chooses books based on certain virtuous connotations.. Look at yourself FFS
slugella
VIP Member
This sounds so self pitying but gosh this is tough to see after a hard weekend and a struggle over salary and stability in a career that I actually put in the hours and effort for. I know someone else's success doesn't mean my failure, and I have no problem cheering other people on and being happy for their successes, but this is so insane to me that she's been given a regular spot in a huge newspaper with her attitude and work ethic the past few years.
getawaywithit
VIP Member
Life doesn’t end after motherhood of course but it does fundamentally and irrevocably change it, especially insofar as your priorities change and you will never again be the centre of your own universe. Of course, that can be a beautiful thing to care so much for something else, but it’s also something that shouldn‘t be taken lightly and you shouldn’t just assume youre going to be able to carry on as you were before. And it is women especially who give up a lot, both mentally and physically. Your youth goes quickly and your 20s ARE a part of that youth, with the ability to grow as an individual that have nothing to do with “Tinder” or whatever, I think it’s important that if you get the chance to make the choice, you are realizing what you’re doing.
I think it’s a disservice to women to pretend as though motherhood can just be a cool hobby to pick up in your 20s. If a young woman chooses to do it, more power to her, but at the same time I would hope it is done with full awareness of not just the joys she will enter into, but truly the deep sacrifice she is about to make. It doesn’t mean it’s “bad”, not at all, but I think any adult can recognize that it is the end of something you won’t get back— career aspirations or not. And that’s life, but we can also be honest about it.
I think it’s a disservice to women to pretend as though motherhood can just be a cool hobby to pick up in your 20s. If a young woman chooses to do it, more power to her, but at the same time I would hope it is done with full awareness of not just the joys she will enter into, but truly the deep sacrifice she is about to make. It doesn’t mean it’s “bad”, not at all, but I think any adult can recognize that it is the end of something you won’t get back— career aspirations or not. And that’s life, but we can also be honest about it.
getawaywithit
VIP Member
For me it’s not even the career thing, it’s like she never even left her parents‘ house before getting pregnant. (Student life doesn’t count, and I say that as someone who lived away for university too). She never had that really era of separation in post uni adulthood to just, like... try something different? Even if she ended up back in the same place in the end, there was no attempt made to kind of... spread the proverbial wings a bit. Just plodding around in her parents’ house in that upper floor in the same room with her same uni boyfriend, doing another English degree, (I also say this as someone who did grad degrees too lol), filming ad videos for YT with that same bf who was now employed by her, then randomly pregnant.And for all the joy and adventure that motherhood can bring, that’s that on that small window of adulthood that is closed now. Oh well.
Like I said before, I think the judgements on this would be different if Jess were another class or race.
Like I said before, I think the judgements on this would be different if Jess were another class or race.
snapshotbye
New member
Woah, this is a blast from the past! Just stumbled on this thread after not thinking about Jess for YEARS.
I was an avid watcher ~8 years ago, until I was completely blocked on every social media platform after private messaging her saying that I was a massive fan, but I found some of the things she said in her look books troubling - iirc she was filming an “edgy, urban outfit” costing thousands of pounds in front of a “grotty bit of london i never go to” (it was a block of council flats). Saw her getting called out for doing this years later too, but justifying how tone deaf it is by saying the architecture reminded her of the Barbican.
She’s still a privileged airhead, now with babby and staff!
I was an avid watcher ~8 years ago, until I was completely blocked on every social media platform after private messaging her saying that I was a massive fan, but I found some of the things she said in her look books troubling - iirc she was filming an “edgy, urban outfit” costing thousands of pounds in front of a “grotty bit of london i never go to” (it was a block of council flats). Saw her getting called out for doing this years later too, but justifying how tone deaf it is by saying the architecture reminded her of the Barbican.
She’s still a privileged airhead, now with babby and staff!
getawaywithit
VIP Member
The problem when it comes to adherence to broad public health directives is that everyone thinks they can be the exception— e.g., yes others should stay home but we are only travelling by car and have all our essentials, etc. Before you know it, hundreds of families are claiming the same thing... that their situation allows it but hopefully everyone else obeys the rule. Once you say ‘well okay if you promise it’s straight there and no stops!’ then everyone is doing it and invariably many are making quick stops and whatnot.
In reality, it’s rarely the case that all those who say they ‘saw no one and went straight there’ actually did so. As such, unfortunately in these situations the rule is just that the law applies to everyone even if you think you’ll be fine.
And even looking at their situation, they have one pregnant woman and one with a serious illness. If anything were to go slightly amiss of course they’d seek medical attention ASAP which means immediate spread to local health facilities, brought from London.
100% agree. Why is she weaponising social justice language e.g. “Safe space” in order to manipulate ppl into giving her money? What does she need to be safe from??? Ugh this whole “I wanna build a community” is so disingenuous and actually really quite insidious. What kind of desirable community is built on the foundations of one person financially profiting from others in the name of intimacy, especially when that person is rich beyond words and hasn’t interacted with her audience within the last decade.
Also agree it adds another dimension of icky-ness when she suggests this income is necessary in supporting her family when we all know it is the equivalent of ONE luxury fashion item purchase to her. Ugh, it really gets to me. In a cost-of-living crisis as well lmao. It’s like girlie you’re just back from a three month trip dropping 3 grand a night on a hotel - all the while doing a multi-million pound reno on ur multi-million property. Shes probably been on more holidays than we all have collectively. Why do you not think we have eyes Jess lmao
palmer
Chatty Member
Your feelings are 100% valid and you don't need to apologize or justify yourself for them. I think what you touched on is the reason many of us are even on these forums tbh. When you said: "There seems to be such a disparity of wealth between myself and the people I used to be able to relate to and it's chilling to realise that what I used to see as some lighthearted entertainment has become more about trying to sell me a lifestyle which seems so unattainable instead." -- this statement deadass sums it all up. I know how you feel. I started watching these Youtubers back when I was a teenager living at home with my parents -- I was seeking company and at the time it was just them talking to a webcam in their bedroom. They were relatable. Just girls around my age talking about things I could easily connect with. Now 10 years later, I'm an adult living in a foreign country paying for my own rent, bills, and a mountain of student debt, and it seems like they couldn't even begin to grasp any of the challenges I have to face on a daily basis. They no longer talk about or show anything I could possibly identify with. Our lives, struggles, and concerns could not be any more opposite. In a way, they're the embodiment of social injustice. They are working the least, yet earning the most. Getting maximum profits (insanely high paychecks, plus a neverending flow of gifts, plus all the time in the world) while the rest of us get nothing at all (low wages, zero freebies, 45+ hour weeks and no free time). How could they possibly be enjoyable to watch for people like us? Especially when the gap didn't seem as huge back when we started watching them--we literally watched as the gap between us and them grew bigger and bigger over the years. Why would I enjoy watching a girl whose parents are multi-millionaires as she sits in her West London house not doing any work for weeks in a row, when I come back to my tiny flat exhausted after a 10 hour work day and haven't taken a day off in months? Naturally it won't make me feel good. I don't think you're being bitter at all. I think people like Jess are just unconsciously highlighting how unfair this society is. Back in the day there were no PR gifts, no PR trips, no sponsored instagram posts, and most of them were posting videos alongside their day-to-day job or activities (such as uni). The dynamic is, unfortunately, completely different now. It's sickening really--there shouldn't be such insane disparities between people's wealth levels/lifestyles. You mentioned "Self-regulating" and it's also not as easy as it sounds right (it's the old influencer disclaimer: "if you dislike me or my content you can just click off!") ...we GREW UP watching these people and clearly our feelings were MUCH different at the beginning than they are now. When you have followed someone for years, feel like you've grown to know them pretty closely, have kind of developed a habit of watching them...it's not that easy to just click off and ignore what's happening right before your eyes. The familiarity is there. It's all the more sickening when you start realizing what this has turned into and the effect that it's now having on you. Unlike celebrities (whom people follow for escapism), influencers are people that were initially sold to us as "people just like us." They were sold to us as "relatable." It's not so easy to turn a blind eye now that they have become just like celebrities.Don't get me wrong, I used to love Jess' content. However, I feel like over the past few years I've gradually been falling out of love with influencer content in general.
(Some background on myself to make this make sense) so being a post grad in London, struggling to find that inital grad job and working in a restaurant in the interim while struggling to pay extortionate London rent prices - it does gall seeing someone you follow receive numerous designer items for free and go on many expensive holidays etc.
Obviously this is incredibly whiny and self pitying, everyone has their own struggles and there are obviously people out there who have much worse struggles to contend with. And obviously, none of this is directly Jess' or any other influencers 'fault.' They get free stuff as PR.
I use influencer content as a kind of escape and a way to wind down after my day. I've been watching influencers since I was a teenager, before the term 'Influencer' was even a thing. Watching vloggers used to feel warm and familiar, these were people like me, who I could relate to. However my feeling towards influencer content has been changing recently as I've realised that it's become increasingly more sinister over the years. There seems to be such a disparity of wealth between myself and the people I used to be able to relate to and it's chilling to realise that what I used to see as some lighthearted entertainment has become more about trying to sell me a lifestyle which seems so unattainable instead.
Again, I understand this is an incredibly cynical viewpoint to take. Influencer marketing exists for a reason and understandably its up to us to self regulate if we're uncomfortable with the content we're consuming.
However. The thing that got to me the most about Jess' videos recently (and the reason I'm even on here in the first place) is one of her recent Vlogtober videos (from Oct 21st). It begins with her having a 'planning day' which she stops at quarter past 4 to read a book. She mentions going out to take a picture, but then puts it off because she's 'not feeling inspired.' The next day she starts off by saying 'nothing urgent needs to happen' so she spent the morning finishing her book. She then goes out to buy an expensive table. The next day she's out at Kew gardens. The next day is Thursday and she's in bed talking about how she wants to do a botany course?? Then the next day arrives. It's Friday - she's done NO work???? All week. Initially I had to turn the video off at this point it enraged me so much.
I don't usually feel so strongly about stuff like this but boy this video REALLY got to me. This girl OWNS a house in London. She bought a HOUSE. Surely to earn that kind of money to be able to do that you'd need to work pretty hard right??? Apparently not.
I understand her work might have seen a bit of a lapse recently due to Covid but still. Again, I understand she's going through personal family struggles as well for which I completely sympathise. But there hasn't been a single ounce of work completed so far from what I can see.
It's so frustrating for those watching, doing their 9-5 who would LOVE for the chance to go out to Kew gardens in the middle of the day, or have a nap, or read a book whenever they feel like it. But oh yeah. That's not how having a job works is it.
Back to the video, so it's Friday and Jess happily announces 'yesterday I spent most of the day reading' she at least has the self awareness to do a guilty chuckle at the end of the sentence. So what's she up to today I hear you ask? 'Zak and I are going to head into John Lewis.' Right. She then comes home to complain about how John Lewis was 'very uninspiring'ffs.
She then goes off on a tangent about how lazy and unproductive her week has been. 'I feel like there's so much I could have got done which I didn't do. But it's Friday, so I'm not going to start doing anything now.' Fantastic. Not sure my boss would buy it if I tried to tell her that to be honest.
She then goes on to talk about how these weeks happen and she's trying to be gentle and easy on herself. And I get that. I really do. But it just doesn't seem like she's attempted to do anything whatsoever. How can you literally not work for a whole week??
She then goes on to say that she's going to try and give herself a kick up the ass next week and to 'foster some inspiration.' Which sounds like a good idea.
I hate how bitter this is coming across but it's just so difficult. I would LOVE to have the job she has. It's just so insulting to see someone in her incredibly privileged position who does not seem to acknowledge it in the slightest.
Idk, this has been a long rant. Let me know your thoughts pls.
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newaccount2022
Chatty Member
She mollycoddles herself to the extreme. It’s always a ‘funny old week this week’ / ‘slow start to the day’ / ‘well deserved rest time’ - who’s she justifying it to, us or her???
I can almost hear her calling herself ‘my love’ in the mirror before she goes to bed.
I can almost hear her calling herself ‘my love’ in the mirror before she goes to bed.
When she made her apology video for going to the US someone commented something along the lines of "I have never seen someone read so many books yet learn so little.".
Jess is the perfect embodiment of someone who is apathetic. She knows damn well that what she is doing is wrong yet will go through with it anyway because she doesn't care.
Jess is the perfect embodiment of someone who is apathetic. She knows damn well that what she is doing is wrong yet will go through with it anyway because she doesn't care.
I don't follow this logic.
I'm not zero waste but I still bring my tote bags to the grocery store and encourage other people to do the same. Would it be better if I kept using plastic bags until I decide to eliminate all plastic from every aspect of my life? Obviously not.
Honestly her explanations made it worse. The whole creating a safe space, the world is a bit lonely, support my family. People can just join Reddit book clubs for free or forums like this. Why would you, as a wealthy individual in the top 1%, take advantage of that loneliness from people who’ve supported you for years by charging them to join a discord?
queenamber
VIP Member
You sound really judgmental about second marriages though, even if you didn't intend do. There is lots to criticise Jess and her family for but I don't think it's fair to criticise her Mum for being married twice or having two children from two different men. Life is long and complicated and women are now fortunate to be able to make their own decisions about marriage, divorce and children now. It's not a moral failing.
Elyezabeth
Chatty Member
She's also proven before that she can't even stand normal feedback, so of course she can't take any criticism well. She had that video where she asked people if she should merge her vlogs into her main channel, and then in her next video she said she hadn't read the comments because she was afraid people would disagree with her merging the channels, which she'd already decided she wanted to do. She mentions her privilege mostly with regard to like, social justice issues, whenever she's virtue signaling and trying to exempt herself from the "eat the rich" cries on social media. She doesn't really mention it when she's talking about why she needs $5000 of sweaters from Farfetch or a rental flat in addition to a whole floor of a huge house plus another entire house plus a property in the country.