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Just reporting back on my night away. It was lovely. I'll definitely stay there again.

Kittylover2019 said:

4 adults in the house, packed lunches for 3. What should I be spending?!

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There's a wide range but ultimately it comes down to what you can afford and your saving goals.

heretoreaditall2019 said:

Today I went to the dump and thought of this thread - as a caveat we were dumping waste like metal for recycling/old toilets that needed replacing/etc not consumer goods - but was so surprised at how much “nice” stuff I saw? Like not stuff I wanted to fish out for me but perfectly normal Christmas stuff or rugs that could be sat on a shelf in any shop and not look like they’re at the end of life or horrifically antiquated. Also the volume of stuff going to landfill/processing is always quite anxiety inducing too. Maybe a spiritual experience for anyone looking to re-address their relationship with consumption/sustainability, I wonder if there’s YouTube/TikTok content to save you a trip down lol.

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I feel like the insta huns are to blame for excess consumption being normalised. Constantly redoing rooms just for "content".

Repeat after me. I must resist the sales emails. There is nothing I need even if it is half price.
Also must remember to unsubscribe from emails

really_whythough said:

I hope it pays off in career advancement! Or the food and company was good at least…

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Well! The meal was fun and cost a bit less than half what I earnt in the overtime shift, so all good there, plus I also got the chance to chat to a colleague I don't see often, who let me know about a couple of job opportunities coming up at a higher band, so it worked out well! Plus I got a request for my side hustle which will earn me back half the cost of the meal. Quite successful overall!

Silverback said:

£2500 on a pair of jeans, £6000 on a handbag etc- and these aren’t rich looking people, either. They’re normal people like us for the most part who clearly wanted a little piece of luxury.

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This I think is a bit of a red herring and speaks to something that I think is a huuuuuge issue on social media, undeclared generational wealth. Which is why a lot of influencers are able to prioritise endless consumption over saving because their house is at a low LTV as it was gifted by parents, they don’t need to save for their children’s’ futures or pay out school/uni fees, have their rich parents around to provide a contingency fund, they don’t need to save for their (or their children’s) retirements as they’re due a share of a multi million pound estate, aren’t paying out to support siblings and elders, etc etc etc. Life is very different if you’re a first gen professional and your money is all you’ve got

I know Dave Ramsey is polarising and has some antiquated if not outright problematic views but he puts out a looot of content and it’s a nice palette cleanser from the sort of image obsessed consumption pushed at us from every angle, personally it always re-focuses my mind on clearing our mortgage over any other bollocks that is ultimately fleeting/meaningless as financial freedom is the biggest flex (imo)

Silverback said:

I’m glad we are talking about trips away actually. I’ve booked a trip to Paris for August and it’s gnawing away at me. Every year I kick myself that I haven’t gone anywhere but there is a reason we don’t- it’s so fucking expensive these days! 4 nights in Paris at a half decent hotel plus Eurostar and eating out etc is going to come to over 2 grand for us and the kids. Is it worth it? Is it only worth booking a trip if you can comfortably afford it without scrimping for it? I don’t know. Answers on a postcard please.

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It’s SO expensive to go anywhere. Even small U.K. based getaways are in the multihundreds most of the time. It will be worth it, you will make loads of memories and I think you always forget how much a change of scene refreshes you.

We are doing well over here, touch wood. Still doing a proper weekly shop then topping up for bread and milk etc. (never again will I spend a grand a month on food ) No unnecessary purchases made, and we've sold about £120 quid via vinted the last few days.
We have also put £4k each into lifetime ISAs just in time for the bonus to come in will add another 4k each and then will hopefully be buying a home this time next year. We have rented for years and tbh never saw a possibility of buying, so this huge for our little family

Im very much an introvert that hates going out and being in busy noisy places.

Id much rather stay home with a glass of wine and read my book.

I also find eating out now so expensive for mediocre food alot of the time. I can definitely make a lovely meal at home which is just as nice and I enjoy just as much.

I actually find I spend more money if I leave the house on absolute rubbish sometimes

Stay strong everyone xxxx

I saw a Tiktok which was saying if an influencer starts a video with any of the following statements, WE DON'T NEED IT. Appreciate it's beauty related but I feel it can apply to other items too, and tbh it's made me so conscious when I hear any of the below that it's just a marketing technique:

• Run don't walk
• I finally got my hands on (insert product)
• This is honestly life changing
• Because when I tell you...
• The skin is skinning
• Literally made my pore's disappear
• I'm obsessed/this is my latest obsession
• I want to marry this (insert product)
• Are you kidding me!?
• Can we please talk about how gorgeous (insert product)?
• This (insert product) has me in a chokehold
• *Shocked face* STOP
• I'm so not over this

So my husband has it officially on video that next year is a ‘no-spend’ year for me in that I will only buy necessities. He did cut the video before I defined necessities though…

But in all seriousness he’s going to support me with this! He’s a massive money hoarder, he knows more about investing and making money than he knows about where the teabags are kept in the kitchen

We are both in very well paid jobs, but I have always been a serial spender on absolute tat. I also have debts to clear (all on very low or 0% APR deals fortunately), but I need to have a year to hammer this.

My concern is I need to find my dopamine hits somewhere, so I’m hoping getting back into the gym and restarting hiking to help this. I’m 20 months sober, and quitting a shopping habit, and I’ve had a bad year with health, but after major surgery a few months ago I have no excuses now!

I’ve quit Facebook but can’t quite bring myself to ditch or TikTok, however I know I’m a sucker for ads. But one thing at a time I guess

Why we continually buy stuff like hair care products when we have more than enough is a mystery. We are always searching for the holy grail.
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Ladies and gentlemen- we are enough. We don’t need external stuff to complete us. That is what I think is at the bottom of most of our wastage.

You can do it @SqualorVictoria
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I can’t resist a Kindle Daily Deal. The 99p ones. I only buy books that I was interested before they went down in price, but I find them irresistible. I must stop, I have loads on my Kindle to read, 98 at the last count. (I read 46 books last year, so I have 2 years worth!) Didn’t buy any yesterday or today. It’s not the amount spent, those 98 books equate to less than 100 quid. But it is the compulsive nature of the buying. I want to change that.

Shopping is dopamining, full stop. I've lost count of the amount of times I've hit buy on something, stalked it on each and every passage of its journey, only to literally throw it in the cupboard and never look at it again. Rinse and repeat

There's an article about it here - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c20jyp07lz4o

This man was at the same party as the woman, followed her back to the hotel and lied to reception about being her boyfriend. All they asked was her name - and they gave him a key to the room in the middle of the night and he assaulted her.

This is the thing though isn't it, because we are not wasting money on things we don't need when we do need something like paint or a new washing machine we have some money put aside to help pay for it.

I met with friends on Friday evening and instead of going out, I offered to take two bottles of wine to their flat and staying in instead. The wines were Christmas gifts from work and I don't drink at home by myself, so they've been sitting in my cupboard for weeks. Got rid of them and didn't pay a fortune having a bottle outside, win/win

Though, the whole evening reminded me that I don't do well with alcohol anymore. Saturday was a blur of exhaustion and anxiety, I had to take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. (I don't mind not being able to drink a lot, it saves me money and I loathe being drunk, anxiety goes into overdrive the next day.)

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

I am going to try and give up alcohol for a few months. Drank a lot over Xmas, and feel blah, plus it is so expensive. Nearly a week in. I am looking forward to the weekend shop. The total cost should be a lot less!

I went into a Poundland today for batteries. I don’t go in there very often. Shocked that most things are no longer a pound. Shocked they have removed the self service tills. Shocked at the bouncer style security guy on the door. Times must be really hard if people are nicking from Poundland.

I have decided not to buy any food or drink for the past week. Instead, I am using up everything in my fridge, freezer, store cupboard.
Using up my alcohol free lager/nosecco.
I think I can manage another week like this.

I do waste food and hate doing it....

However have been invited out for a free Christmas lunch tomorrow...

Silverback said:

Been thinking about other purchases recently that were a waste of money. £40 on a Charlotte Tilbury foundation that goes cakey in my pores. £8 on an Essie polish that chips off after 5 minutes. £35 on an Uniqlo jumper that is too cold to wear in winter (will be useful for spring tho). I’m sure there is other stuff that I’m forgetting.
Dunno about anyone else but I get bored by the grind of life- work/ kids/ responsibilities/ bills etc and get myself bits and bobs to bring a little brightness. There’s probably other ways to cheer myself up that don’t involve wasting cash…

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Try spending money on experiences rather than items to bring that brightness. For example last year my friend and I had a cute pottery painting date which we did get a plate/mug out of in the end. I know creativity isn’t for everyone but it was nice to just do something that wasn’t spending money on more crap for a 5 minute buzz and then be bored of. There’s always things in your local area that you’ve ignored and realise can be a nice hour or 2