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Popcornshovel said:

Black Friday month is sooooo tempting. I think there are some really big discounts about as companies fight for customers. But just cos it's on offer, doesn't mean I actually need it

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To quote Martin Lewis:
If you were going to buy it anyway, and it's half price, you’ve saved 50%.
If you weren’t going to buy it, but do because it’s half price, you’ve wasted 100%.

I find this really good for my mental health. I have embraced enoughism and it's amazing at how free I feel. My house is less cluttered. I am not under pressure to keep up with anyone. I buy just what I need look after it and mend it several times before discarding it. I have a pair of everyday leather boots that have lasted 10 years. I now hate shopping, the crowds and queues.

This year I plan to grow all my bedding plants from seed so much cheaper and I think more rewarding. I am also going to run down my makeup stash and replace it with one of everything. I will need a few t-shirts for the summer and perhaps a pair of jeans so I will keep my eye out for a good deal but that is all I need this year. I am also, horror of horrors, seriously thinking of giving up my anti aging skincare for a simple moisturizer and SPF. Sick off the faff.

Would make me MORE inclined to buy from Lulu.

I am breaking down the perfume collection and getting rid of stuff which I never really loved entirely. I donate to my local chazzer who don’t over-charge people and I hope someone gets a lovely bargain that cheers them up. I realise probably not all chazzer a will accept part-used bottles, but thankfully this is one that serves the community rather than the CEO. I still have more than I need but I’m working on it.

Mod edit let's leave this topic here as it'll only end in an offtopic argument

Definitely need to stop unnecessary spending. Husband and I just reserved a new house

Scorpihoe said:

Thank you, I needed to hear this right now I’m trying to ease into the idea of “I don’t need that, I have many of those and it’s okay if I run out, I can buy it then”. I can buy it later if I really need it, I don’t need it now even if it’s on sale. I just repeat these mantras in my mind

Thank you lovely

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I’ve been trying to rethink when I see something ‘desirable’ and drill down into what need it would actually be fulfilling, what feeling I’m really looking for and how else I might achieve it for myself.

Lots of ads and store displays before Christmas showed blazing fires, cosy sofas, etc etc and had me thinking I needed all manner of fluffy blankets and heated beanbags and new pajamas…

When I actually thought about the ‘want’ I really just wanted to feel warm, safe and rested after a very busy year. I can make that happen for myself and I can’t actually buy that feeling in a shop.

If I were that loaded and dead set on having a certain type of meal with family, I'd just offer to pay for those who can't afford it, instead of causing them grief about it. She lowkey sounds like a cow tbh 🫥

I was introduced to this thread by some lovely Tattlers over on the rant thread after my vent about how I hate that I can’t stop spending money (I spend my feelings!). It’s nice to know that other people are in the same position as me and I’m not alone, but I also feel rotten for saying that because being an impulsive over spender is not something I’d wish upon anyone.

Anyway, since my vent/rant last week over on the rant thread I had a bit of a lightbulb moment and decided I needed to make changes now. I cancelled subscriptions I no longer use, I had a clear out of clothes and have a pile ready to sell on Depop (not a fan of Vinted), I opened a Plum account and created ‘pockets’ to save for specific things including car insurance, an emergency fund, birthday and Christmas presents and even a treat myself fund. They all have specific goal amounts and I have set up a direct debit with my main account to transfer money into these pockets every pay day. I can create up to 16 ‘pockets’ so I will keep making new ones once I have other things to save for. I chose the ones which have 4.15% interest too which I think is pretty good, but there is limitations with this such as only being able to withdraw money at certain times.

I also applied for a 0% balance transfer card and I will get rid of two small-ish credit cards (around £600 each) that I am currently paying interest on. The card does also offer 0% purchase which I know will be so hard for me to ignore but the thought of having no credit cards and a chunk of savings is so much more appealing!

My mortgage is up for renewal and I’m tempted to let it run onto the variable rate so that I can avoid credit checks. I’m lucky that my mortgage is pretty small so even if I did go onto the variable rate it wouldn’t be a massive monthly payment, but I know that’s a silly thing to do. I might see what the options are for staying with my current lender. It sucks that I thought I’d be in a position to sell and move by now but my relationship with money over the past few years has caused that to not be the case.

Oh I should end by saying that I almost had a slip up yesterday while in Boots. I needed to buy toothpaste but kept wandering over to the makeup and hair section, picking things up and putting them back. Then I remembered I had £25 worth of points to use so I treated myself without spending a penny. Win!

Notworthy said:

Old fashioned but you can't beat using cash to control spending.

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Even more so now cos nowhere takes it

Notworthy said:

Cash is the answer for a few weeks atleast.
I started withdrawing £100 a week to pay for food, petrol and other day to day living expenses (over 10 years ago so it would be more now but not much more).
The 1st week I ran out of money on the Wednesday, mainly due to buying too many convenience foods, atleast half of which went in the bin because they went out of date before we ate them.
By week 4 I was actually having money left over. Depending on how much you drive I would say for us £130 is enough each week to buy food, put petrol in the car and buy the odd coffee (I only buy coffee to drink in, never to take away)

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That’s good advice thank you.
Definitely I spend more through being able to tap everything! I reckon I’d get quite a shock if I was physically handing over money for everything I buy.

Something else I’ve woken up to is that everyone I spend time with is so much more careful with what they spend.
I’ve always been open handed; I’ll pay for coffee when I meet up with someone, always end up booking the cabs etc, and never like to ask for what I’m owed.
This needs to be reined in too.
I think I’m quite generous by nature but it won’t hurt me to let others pick up the tab now and again.

I managed pretty well in January but can improve on make up purchases. What I’m doing in February is write down all items I feel like buying and sit on them. Having done this for two items last week, I’ve already lost interest in buying them. I try and research a lot longer before making purchases as I’m sick of spending money on stuff that’s not quite right/ doesn’t perform as well as advertised. My 3rd strategy is keep a list of all unnecessary spend this month as a way of keeping myself accountable. I have a figure of around £200 spending money for this month which is plenty for treats but not excessive. On the plus side, one month of not buying clothes has killed my desire buy clothes. Who would have thought?

Well I just received some good news,My student loans have been written off! I never earnt enough to have to pay them back, especially as I went part time since being a parent.

I’m keeping a list of non- essential spending this month as last month went haywire with days out and meals out and buying some clothes. I’m determined to not waste any money and save up for a holiday next year.

lemonlime said:

I will stop purchasing stuff just because I think it'll finally make me look like who I think I am.

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If this ain’t it

I'm older and single and every year long to stay home (on my own) for Christmas. It never happens as the pressure to go to family is immense and the questions of where I'm going will start around now. Of course I'm grateful people care about me but still.
In other news I woke to an email saying I was a winner on the premium bonds. I hot footed it to find the number I needed and lo and behold I'd won £25!
At first I thought typical but then realised it was a pretty good return on my tiny amount in bonds, interest wise.
I cannot stand the push to consumerism this time of year. It is repulsive. From December onwards I only use the local Co-op to avoid the manic shopping.

Patting myself on the back… filled a couple of baskets with sales kids clothes from expensive places like Boden… got all the way to checkout twice but paused to think it over and have just shut the pages down. I can’t afford it! There’s too much January left until the next payday. The kids don’t really need much and I don’t have room to store things for them to grow into anyway.

Interesting times this month. I have put off purchasing something I do want - and do need because I can’t afford it this month because I prefer to prioritise my savings. In times gone by I’d have juggled things, made a late payment or two and bought the thing.

Am I being a REAL grown-up?

I try to be a mindful spender overall but I really want to save more and I'm guilty of getting a 'lil treat' or something here and there! A few things I'm trying to think about to be more intentional with spending:


Sorry that got long, partially posting to hold myself accountable too!!

Nearly bought the Charlotte Tilbury Flawless filter foundation on Cult Beauty because it was on sale but stopped myself. I don't need it, I have two other bottles to use up.

My friends I have completely and utterly fallen off the wagon. Looked at too many Instagram pretty house accounts and ended up buying loads of improvements for the house including new drawer handles, new gold door knocker, etc etc etc. plus I went shopping in London yesterday and spent £100. I’m hyperventilating now over how much cash I’ve got to last 2 weeks til payday.

Been speaking to my therapist today over why I agonise over not having the perfect house and appearance, and realised that I associate achieving those things with gaining respect and love from my mother. Do I want my mother’s respect? No. She is an awful abusive woman. But I’ve been programmed that way and I need to deprogram myself somehow.

I feel horribly guilty for overspending and horribly anxious.

I think part of my epiphany with spending money on stuff without a second thought (despite not having the funds) I’ve realised that it’s probably the excitement of ordering new stuff that is addictive, when I’ve already got something that will do the job!

I’m a huge fan of Clinique and on Instagram have seen how lovely the black honey lipstick (which I have) goes with the black honey lip oil, making your lips look gorgeous. Instead of buying the oil (at £20+), I had a Rimmel lip gloss in an extremely similar colour that I’d not yet opened. I’ve used it, and it looks even better on than the oil, without spending a penny! Its little wins like this that keep me going.
Going forward, my issue is not using what I already have and falling for the latest trend, so I need to strip back down to basics and use what I have until it falls apart before replacing. Us people used to be so much happier with less. I’ve tried to spend money on experiences rather than clog my home up with crap too, hence why am just asking for money/vouchers for Xmas that I can use when I’m away. It’s far too easy to buy more stuff when we already have stuff that will do!

Grizzlybear said:

Share your no spend wisdom? What were your rules?

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Well I didn’t count bills, food, petrol or gifts for people.
So no buying clothes, cosmetics, toiletries, non essential stuff for home, charity shop bargains or treats. No Amazon impulse purchases. No flowers for the house. No plants for garden.
its hard at first but quickly gets easier and the desire to shop wanes.
also the idea of wandering round a mall or garden centre loses its appeal .
I am a terrible impulse shopper and I’m really going to try to curb that this year as I’m on a simplify and declutter mission x