I appreciate this is a little wordy, so feel free to skim right past.
I've followed RVK for the last couple of years, and she reminds me an awful lot of myself (not the racists, repressed, braggy, child bride parts though!! That's just her).
I used social media a lot around 2010-2014. I had a blog in the early days of blogging, with a decent-ish following. Nothing major, and before anyone was making any real money from it, but a blog nonetheless. My entire blog and Instagram was Pinterest standard, pretty SLR photos of my happy marriage, perfect pinterest wedding, dreamy holidays, pretty house things, baking with my organic, farmers market ingredients (yes, I'm eye-rolling at myself too
). All very twee and sickly sweet. Everything was dreamy and perfect.
Someone started to give me a whole heap of shit online. It was actually a friend of a friend, and I just wasn't cut out for that level of criticism. My Mum kept telling me that I should just stop posting online, simple, but I couldn't. My answer was always 'but I'm writing it for myself', 'it's to document my life and look back on', 'I like to make my space happy and positive'. The truth was, I literally couldn't stop posting. The 'troll' made me feel shit, but not being able to post my humble brag life made me feel infinitely shitter. I certainly didn't realise it at the time, but I was absolutely addicted to the validation from strangers and showing off how wonderful my life was to make myself feel better about myself and my life.
The truth is, my life behind those perfect photos was a complete shitshow. You really wouldn't have guessed it from my lovely online life, but I had zero self-esteem, my marriage was under huge pressure and falling to bits, and I always needed to next thing to post about as a 'pick-me-up'.
My whole life was starting to be consumed with staging things so they looked amazing. All those wonderful trips were actually ruined by having to drag a huge camera around (before phones had decent cameras) and trying to get the perfect photos. If it rained and ruined the photos, I would feel so much pressure that I'd fall to bits. I'd plan places to go, just for the photo opportunities and I'd waste half the day laying out ridiculous flat lays of picnic food that I couldn't really afford. I'd talk about how wonderful my husband was, when really a lot of the time we were so sick of each other. I ruined my own engagement by throwing a strop that it rained and the pictures wouldn't be right.
The crappier my life was, the worse I felt, and the more addicted I was to my own dreamy online life and the validation that came with it. I put myself under huge pressure and was taking wonderful trips almost every month just to post things that made me feel good about my life (certainly not the Maldives, mind you).
My husband booked us a wonderfully dreamy, romantic weekend away into he countryside (nothing romantic about it at all. He was probably sick of my shit but humoured me. I booked it having myself, having studied the most aesthetically pleasing room they had and ringing up 3 times to make sure I got the room with the nice wallpaper). We got there and I'd bought my camera and no lens and I basically had a meltdown and told my husband 'there's no point in even being here if I can't photograph it for my blog'.
My husband was sick of my shit, we fought a lot and grew apart, but I was so stubborn that I hung on to that marriage for dear life. Not because I wanted to be with him, but because I didn't want to have to admit online or to anyone else, that my perfect life wasn’t actually perfect. That was my main concern over anything. I raced though life,getting married and buying home at a really young age just so I felt like I was 'doing well' compared to other people my age and had some great blog content. I didn’t realise it at the time, and I honestly didn’t think that I was ‘living a lie. I just saw it as sharing the best bits; a highlights reel if you will. My entire life was a Pinterest-pretty lie.
In the end, I shut the whole thing down and never came back to ‘public’ social media or blogging. It was the best thing I ever did for my life and my mental health. Sometimes it rains, and my house is a mess, and I have nothing to brag about and I’ve never been happier.
It’s very clear now that it was a full blown addiction and a way of coping with, what I can see now, was clearly mental health issues and a lack of satisfaction with my own life and the reality of that. I was controlling the way everyone else saw me, it made me feel better about myself. My life was absolutely filled with the most impressive photos and holidays when I was the most unhappy.
I know that no one asked for my life story
, and I sound like an absolute WANG, but as someone that has lived a version of her life, I can see SOOOO many red flags; Obsessively planning, staging everything, charging through life's big 'events' like a tick list, obsessed with 'perfect' weather, constant holidays, the repetition and trying to recreate past photos, massively oversharing and compromising safety for humble brags, just not being able stop taking photos or stop posting. It’s all there. She is not happy. She has an addiction and she's too stubborn to let go and get help.
I've followed RVK for the last couple of years, and she reminds me an awful lot of myself (not the racists, repressed, braggy, child bride parts though!! That's just her).
I used social media a lot around 2010-2014. I had a blog in the early days of blogging, with a decent-ish following. Nothing major, and before anyone was making any real money from it, but a blog nonetheless. My entire blog and Instagram was Pinterest standard, pretty SLR photos of my happy marriage, perfect pinterest wedding, dreamy holidays, pretty house things, baking with my organic, farmers market ingredients (yes, I'm eye-rolling at myself too
). All very twee and sickly sweet. Everything was dreamy and perfect.Someone started to give me a whole heap of shit online. It was actually a friend of a friend, and I just wasn't cut out for that level of criticism. My Mum kept telling me that I should just stop posting online, simple, but I couldn't. My answer was always 'but I'm writing it for myself', 'it's to document my life and look back on', 'I like to make my space happy and positive'. The truth was, I literally couldn't stop posting. The 'troll' made me feel shit, but not being able to post my humble brag life made me feel infinitely shitter. I certainly didn't realise it at the time, but I was absolutely addicted to the validation from strangers and showing off how wonderful my life was to make myself feel better about myself and my life.
The truth is, my life behind those perfect photos was a complete shitshow. You really wouldn't have guessed it from my lovely online life, but I had zero self-esteem, my marriage was under huge pressure and falling to bits, and I always needed to next thing to post about as a 'pick-me-up'.
My whole life was starting to be consumed with staging things so they looked amazing. All those wonderful trips were actually ruined by having to drag a huge camera around (before phones had decent cameras) and trying to get the perfect photos. If it rained and ruined the photos, I would feel so much pressure that I'd fall to bits. I'd plan places to go, just for the photo opportunities and I'd waste half the day laying out ridiculous flat lays of picnic food that I couldn't really afford. I'd talk about how wonderful my husband was, when really a lot of the time we were so sick of each other. I ruined my own engagement by throwing a strop that it rained and the pictures wouldn't be right.
The crappier my life was, the worse I felt, and the more addicted I was to my own dreamy online life and the validation that came with it. I put myself under huge pressure and was taking wonderful trips almost every month just to post things that made me feel good about my life (certainly not the Maldives, mind you).
My husband booked us a wonderfully dreamy, romantic weekend away into he countryside (nothing romantic about it at all. He was probably sick of my shit but humoured me. I booked it having myself, having studied the most aesthetically pleasing room they had and ringing up 3 times to make sure I got the room with the nice wallpaper). We got there and I'd bought my camera and no lens and I basically had a meltdown and told my husband 'there's no point in even being here if I can't photograph it for my blog'.
My husband was sick of my shit, we fought a lot and grew apart, but I was so stubborn that I hung on to that marriage for dear life. Not because I wanted to be with him, but because I didn't want to have to admit online or to anyone else, that my perfect life wasn’t actually perfect. That was my main concern over anything. I raced though life,getting married and buying home at a really young age just so I felt like I was 'doing well' compared to other people my age and had some great blog content. I didn’t realise it at the time, and I honestly didn’t think that I was ‘living a lie. I just saw it as sharing the best bits; a highlights reel if you will. My entire life was a Pinterest-pretty lie.
In the end, I shut the whole thing down and never came back to ‘public’ social media or blogging. It was the best thing I ever did for my life and my mental health. Sometimes it rains, and my house is a mess, and I have nothing to brag about and I’ve never been happier.
It’s very clear now that it was a full blown addiction and a way of coping with, what I can see now, was clearly mental health issues and a lack of satisfaction with my own life and the reality of that. I was controlling the way everyone else saw me, it made me feel better about myself. My life was absolutely filled with the most impressive photos and holidays when I was the most unhappy.
I know that no one asked for my life story
, and I sound like an absolute WANG, but as someone that has lived a version of her life, I can see SOOOO many red flags; Obsessively planning, staging everything, charging through life's big 'events' like a tick list, obsessed with 'perfect' weather, constant holidays, the repetition and trying to recreate past photos, massively oversharing and compromising safety for humble brags, just not being able stop taking photos or stop posting. It’s all there. She is not happy. She has an addiction and she's too stubborn to let go and get help.
Last edited:
Salcombe123
Member
Hello. I’m not too sure what to say, or if I’ll even press post, but I just want to rant. I used to follow RVK, initially interested in her home reno project, but slowly and surely her ignorance and crassness was too much for me and I unfollowed.
Early 2020 my husband and I started trying for a baby. As the eldest of my siblings, and not many parent friends yet, I was interested and grateful to see her blogs regarding her trying to conceive journey.
I sucked it {alllll} up. Picked up the vits from Wholefoods, followed her advise and felt totally ready!
Honestly - it was the worst thing I could have read.
The vitamins made me ill, her panicked comments about not conceiving straight away made me think I too should be worrying about this, I got stressed and couldn’t help feeling awful once I passed that 4 month mark.
I replied to her story once, when she was flogging the vits on her stories again - told her she needed to be careful what she was ‘swearing by’ as I followed her advice and ended up needing to see a dr. She didn’t bother coming back to me.
I’m a year in ttc now, last month I had a chemical pregnancy - it was a blessing to get such a glimmer of hope - and in all honesty it happened the month I chilled completely and ditched the ovulation sticks etc.
Seeing her new blog post just now {which I gave up reading?!} made me angry. For all those girls reading thinking that it will happen so easily for them! She is so tone death. She’s literally encouraging you to buy (aff) the ovulation sticks that she swears by. She’s making money out of a subject she has no right nor qualifications to do so.
She’s gloating. She’s so pleased with herself. She’s pleased with the speed, she’s pleased with her announcement picture (imagine finding out you’re having a grandchild over a WhatsApp picture, nice.)
But despite all of this, and how angry her attitude makes me, I honestly truly pity her. She’s so desperately competitive with herself. She says the baby is planned, then she says they ideally wanted a 2-3 gap, then she says she wanted to see if it could happen. ...is she having this baby because she was ready and wanted another, or because she was worried about it happening for her?
Either way, we all know she clearly does not have the mental capacity to cope with 2 young babies, I hope she does, but honestly, I think we all know we’re watching a car crash in slow mo. Pilates in NYC can’t help you now darling!
Early 2020 my husband and I started trying for a baby. As the eldest of my siblings, and not many parent friends yet, I was interested and grateful to see her blogs regarding her trying to conceive journey.
I sucked it {alllll} up. Picked up the vits from Wholefoods, followed her advise and felt totally ready!
Honestly - it was the worst thing I could have read.
The vitamins made me ill, her panicked comments about not conceiving straight away made me think I too should be worrying about this, I got stressed and couldn’t help feeling awful once I passed that 4 month mark.
I replied to her story once, when she was flogging the vits on her stories again - told her she needed to be careful what she was ‘swearing by’ as I followed her advice and ended up needing to see a dr. She didn’t bother coming back to me.
I’m a year in ttc now, last month I had a chemical pregnancy - it was a blessing to get such a glimmer of hope - and in all honesty it happened the month I chilled completely and ditched the ovulation sticks etc.
Seeing her new blog post just now {which I gave up reading?!} made me angry. For all those girls reading thinking that it will happen so easily for them! She is so tone death. She’s literally encouraging you to buy (aff) the ovulation sticks that she swears by. She’s making money out of a subject she has no right nor qualifications to do so.
She’s gloating. She’s so pleased with herself. She’s pleased with the speed, she’s pleased with her announcement picture (imagine finding out you’re having a grandchild over a WhatsApp picture, nice.)
But despite all of this, and how angry her attitude makes me, I honestly truly pity her. She’s so desperately competitive with herself. She says the baby is planned, then she says they ideally wanted a 2-3 gap, then she says she wanted to see if it could happen. ...is she having this baby because she was ready and wanted another, or because she was worried about it happening for her?
Either way, we all know she clearly does not have the mental capacity to cope with 2 young babies, I hope she does, but honestly, I think we all know we’re watching a car crash in slow mo. Pilates in NYC can’t help you now darling!
Gossipqueen30
Chatty Member
This made me howl
This needs to be a thread title! “The ads have dried up, the freebies no more, so Ben blew his beans up me, now we’re a four!!” Apologies in advance 🫣I feel a “these are a few of my favourite things” {because she has sooo many} RVK remix coming on but I’m nowhere near creative enough, anyone?
Rolltops and roses and dungas on kiddos
Bright copper husband who isn't a peeeeedo
Brown xmas packages tied up with string
These are a few of her favorite things
Cream-colored sofas and a dusty old shutter
Doorbells and sleigh bells and organic nut butter
Thousands of pictures of kids on some swings
These are a few of her favorite things
Girls in shart dresses with hemp fabric sashes
Sunglasses that stray from her nose and eyelashes
Silver-white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of her favorite things
When the sun goes
When the rain comes
When she's feeling sad
She simply lists out all her favorite things
And demands all the treats from Dad
Allotment roses and gluts of her veggies
Hanging her skates up and rusty old sledges
Cheap ham in packages, never in tins
These are a few of her favorite things
Cream-colored straw hats and ancient salt-sandals
Peeling old doorscapes and copper bee handles
Cavernous dresses held up by strings
These are a few of her favorite things
Girls in creased dresses with all kinds of stains on
Boys in knit tights where the colour has long gone
Selling on Preloved the pennies it brings
These are a few of her favorite things
When the fall's here
When the park's clear
When the gelato's rad
She simply remembers her favorite things
And then she won't feel so bad
interestedonlooker
Member
and here come the 'everything is so amazing' posts. The ridiculous list of everything being perfect, the dreamy beach photos with a one week old & toddler...for those of you that read here who have a new baby or are expecting - this is not real life. If you barely leave the house for the first few weeks that is ok. If your one trip out to a supermarket feels like the biggest achievement of the week, then well done, it is!! DO NOT compare yourself to this women and her toxicity, do not beat yourself up because you didn't get a dreamy home waterbirth, a perfect breastfeeding baby or are taking long day trips with your two kids. This kind of BS really makes me cross, just puts such an unnecessary amount of guilt/pressure on mums... i promise you what you see on her grid is not the norm.
*retreats back to quiet corner....
*retreats back to quiet corner....
Oh Grabby, now you want to be a poet? Yet every post is such a tiring word salad to disentangle:
Ah Grabby your endless begging grates
On those with much more on their plates.
We don't live with an odd child catcher,
Or like the brands throwing products at ya.
We don't drive for hours to stony shores,
To unpack pointless kits of s'mores,
We don't post albums of holiday spam,
Where all we've eaten is packet ham.
You had a baby I see, well done,
But honey you aren't the only one,
Just how many pics can we see
Of dear old Baby Bentos Bee?
Seeing granny for help, despite the regs,
No baby socks on corned beef legs.
No suncream or protecting hat,
Whilst posing as you beg for tat
And all the while you try and compete,
With salties on your giant feet,
For cheap mirrors, baskets, bugaboos
That expensive pram you never use,
Every post is set by pastel huts,
Or showing off your courgette gluts,
Your green sludge dinners are not a meal,
All smoke and mirrors - nothings real,
My husband may earn ten times less,
But I can afford a fitting dress.
Please stop behaving like a Stepford wife,
Go have a wine and enjoy your life.
There I've written you a poem, as you have suddenly come over all whimsical!
Ah Grabby your endless begging grates
On those with much more on their plates.
We don't live with an odd child catcher,
Or like the brands throwing products at ya.
We don't drive for hours to stony shores,
To unpack pointless kits of s'mores,
We don't post albums of holiday spam,
Where all we've eaten is packet ham.
You had a baby I see, well done,
But honey you aren't the only one,
Just how many pics can we see
Of dear old Baby Bentos Bee?
Seeing granny for help, despite the regs,
No baby socks on corned beef legs.
No suncream or protecting hat,
Whilst posing as you beg for tat
And all the while you try and compete,
With salties on your giant feet,
For cheap mirrors, baskets, bugaboos
That expensive pram you never use,
Every post is set by pastel huts,
Or showing off your courgette gluts,
Your green sludge dinners are not a meal,
All smoke and mirrors - nothings real,
My husband may earn ten times less,
But I can afford a fitting dress.
Please stop behaving like a Stepford wife,
Go have a wine and enjoy your life.
There I've written you a poem, as you have suddenly come over all whimsical!
Grabby over her morning sludge "Husband, I need a collab with Lick paints, where can we paint?"
Benpecked (puts down his Bunty for Girls annual) "Nowhere, my handmaiden, we are skint. Until I can punt out these Toppling Toys, we have 10 x less money than the people on the beach at Sandals"
Grabbuca Salt "But Daddy I want a Lick Collab, all these Insta wannabes have one and I've been featured in the Mail. I don't care how, I want Lick now!
Benpecked (grabbing hold of Bunty for Girls annual as it almost bounces on the table due to flipper quake) Grabbuca, sweetheart be reasonable, since you made that 8p donation to charity for the Pileshit playframe we are skint. I've two kids, your chia habit and a pergola roof to disguise I can't afford to do up the guest room"
Grabbuca "But I need the engagement, the only person offering me gifts is some one man band blind company, I want the big names!"
Benpecked (rolls sleeves even higher than usual) Nope I have no money as I have to pay your brother a wage too and keep my business partner sweet now I've crashed my way into his livelihood. I can't afford to do up the Guest room, plus as I have to sleep in there when you aren't wanting to conceive a child, I like it bland in there. Nope can't do up the guest room"
Grabbuca Salt "OK I'm going to buy a tester pot of Lick paint out of my pocket money then and paint the landing. I'll call it a nursery space and the gifts will come gushing in again"
Benpecked "won't be enough paint in a tester pot"
GS "there will if we don't paint near the radiator properly or cut in around the edges"
VOILA JOB DONE
Benpecked (puts down his Bunty for Girls annual) "Nowhere, my handmaiden, we are skint. Until I can punt out these Toppling Toys, we have 10 x less money than the people on the beach at Sandals"
Grabbuca Salt "But Daddy I want a Lick Collab, all these Insta wannabes have one and I've been featured in the Mail. I don't care how, I want Lick now!
Benpecked (grabbing hold of Bunty for Girls annual as it almost bounces on the table due to flipper quake) Grabbuca, sweetheart be reasonable, since you made that 8p donation to charity for the Pileshit playframe we are skint. I've two kids, your chia habit and a pergola roof to disguise I can't afford to do up the guest room"
Grabbuca "But I need the engagement, the only person offering me gifts is some one man band blind company, I want the big names!"
Benpecked (rolls sleeves even higher than usual) Nope I have no money as I have to pay your brother a wage too and keep my business partner sweet now I've crashed my way into his livelihood. I can't afford to do up the Guest room, plus as I have to sleep in there when you aren't wanting to conceive a child, I like it bland in there. Nope can't do up the guest room"
Grabbuca Salt "OK I'm going to buy a tester pot of Lick paint out of my pocket money then and paint the landing. I'll call it a nursery space and the gifts will come gushing in again"
Benpecked "won't be enough paint in a tester pot"
GS "there will if we don't paint near the radiator properly or cut in around the edges"
VOILA JOB DONE
Ghosttalk4
Chatty Member
I love how she always likes to create the illusion of whimsical walks in the countryside under wild blossom trees, but in the reflection of her glasses you can see that she's taking a selfie in the middle of a new build estate
Last edited:
#kindlystop
Member
Poor you, it's actually really tough writing a caption on instagram? Don't worry sweetie, you take it easy! You've worked so hard this week. I can't believe you have time to fit it aaaaall in! And you managed to find time for yoga this week - wow! Good on you Mama 
you got this. You posted 6 whole photos this week! That's so many, nearly one every day! No wonder you're so out of energy. I feel the same as a teacher, so does my best friend as an A&E nurse. We're all in this together! Pandemics are so tricky, aren't they? But mostly tricky on you with your one child, no job, work from home husband, family, money, car, clothes, full cupboards, new tiles and big house. You deserve all the support?
you got this. You posted 6 whole photos this week! That's so many, nearly one every day! No wonder you're so out of energy. I feel the same as a teacher, so does my best friend as an A&E nurse. We're all in this together! Pandemics are so tricky, aren't they? But mostly tricky on you with your one child, no job, work from home husband, family, money, car, clothes, full cupboards, new tiles and big house. You deserve all the support?
#kindlystop
Member
"Uh oh, it's our third lockdown but I feel kinda happy about it?? I love these short winter days and feel so cosy with my chicklet and pervert I always dream of being at home having endless cosy days we go stir crazy inside all day after a few hours so I can't wait for spring so this is all over and the snow in winter makes everything so much sweeter it feels like summer is just around the corner I'm always happy in the summer {thinking of everyone who has a job because that's hard?? It's a tricky one, isn't it??} #lockdownishardforeveryonebuthardestforme #fwaya #ohdreamycradlesnatcher"
Something along those lines
Something along those lines
Ghosttalk4
Chatty Member
RVK Loves #21 Grubby Grabby, your house is grim. Stop selling shoes that belong in the bin
IndominusRex
VIP Member
Hamlet in a few years time
Sunshine&clouds
VIP Member
A bit off topic, sorry. She's in another world and her smug attitude is so out of kilter to what's actually happening to people in the world and our country. I had an old friend phone me earlier about an elderly relative who lives about half an hour from me. The relative sounded in a really bad way, she's a widower and in a little village with no near neighbours. She'd called an ambulance this morning, but was told that they were very busy and as they didn't prioritise her, they had no idea when they'd get to her. She was getting very upset and felt more and more ill. My friend was crying too. What could I do? I put 4 masks on and drove to her. She was shivering and breathless and as the hospital was only 20 minutes away, I wrapped her up with a dressing gown over her clothes, got her into the car, wrapped a couple of blankets round her and took her to A&E. I got told off by the very kind nurses who helped me get her out of the car and into a wheelchair, but in a 'you shouldn't have done this, but I'd have done the same' way. They took my details and told me to go straight home and self isolate which I would have anyway. But as I drove with the heating on high, holding her hand, (when not going round corners) and trying to breathe wearing 4 masks, Grabby popped into my mind. I thought of all the rule breaking she's done, like that photo with Freya in her parents garden and her tantrum over Christmas. How bloody dare she be so self obsessed and childish. People are dying and she's just being a selfish bitch, posting whiney and passive aggressive comments. Grabby in 'normal' times is bad enough, but when over 1000 people are dying every day, she's moaning about baths and how to make money.
When I got back home, my dog had pooed on the carpet and in the kitchen were 3 cats, my 2 and a complete stranger!
On planet Sterling, Grabby is cooking in a bath and telling everyone how stupid they are.
When I got back home, my dog had pooed on the carpet and in the kitchen were 3 cats, my 2 and a complete stranger!
On planet Sterling, Grabby is cooking in a bath and telling everyone how stupid they are.FlowersintheRain
Chatty Member
‘I’m so sorry that happened to you, please don’t blame yourself. It’s a difficult one isn’t it? I know its not for everyone but personally we feel safe propping Bentos up for the gram, and actually we were gifted this a little while ago now so wanted to make the most of it because who knows what this year will bring??? These little squares are a Creative outlet for me, rather than a place to talk about the scary stuff. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear right now, you are welcome to unfollow me.’
Micdrop
Starshining
VIP Member
Do you remember this photo Rebecca?
THIS
This is why people are pissed off. Had to show off; had to be the one that got the holiday that none of the rest of us did as we stayed at home to keep our families safe
THIS
Constant rule breaking and smug posts of weekends away, rubbing it in people’s faces; no wondering if it will affect the viewer’s mental health
THIS
This miserable Christmas Rebecca, this is what Karma tastes like
