jack monroe : Most liked Posts

Helo all, I needed a break when all the FSM stuff was going on. Thanks to all you lovely ninnies that showed concern by sending messages. When I looked again at tattle last night, the DM's were a lovely surprise. Contrary to Jack's suggestion that everyone here are nasty, trolling bullies, you are all wonderful caring people.

I did consider mentioning that I was leaving, but realised that tattle isn't an airport. (Though at most airports they no longer announce departures or arrivals. Jack once again showing how she has her finger on the pulse of current practice). Sorry if anyone was worried by my disappearance, I shouldn't have taken any notice of a Jackism and just mentioned I was taking a break.

I have met many people like Roadside Mum in both my professional and private life. They have a legitimate grievance but when it is acknowledged they are never happy with a reasonable solution. They think that they are being assertive, but they go too far, become aggressive abusive and vexatious. They say they are "strong women" or "strong men" but in reality they are just uncooperative, obstinate, nasty people who are never satisfied with a sensible solution. That combined with Jack shit stirring in the background was the perfect combination to tip me over the edge.

Then Jack stuck her neb in to make her front and centre of a campaign that was nothing to do with her, instead of giving those affected support and a platform. On top of this, it was Jack that profited from a campaign that was not hers, writing articles, TV appearances and making money off the backs of those that truly were affected. This had me screeching, howling and clawing at the floor with anger.

During my many, many years of LGBT equality campaigning, one of the most frustrating things was non LGBT people trying to take over instead of showing support. Just as Jack has done with the FSM campaign. There is nothing more annoying than having your campaign hijacked by someone not directly involved.

Anyway, I am now back, but have decided not to read the past week's goings on, as I would no doubt want to comment on issues that are now concluded.

Thanks again for all the lovely, supportive, caring messages. You have made this past year bearable in what has been almost constant lockdown here "Up North"

Sorry (not really) for the long post.

Never let me do this again.
it is genuinely VILE.

It’s so so so so sweet, it’s almost like syrup. Then the meat is dropping to bits and gristly.
I managed one spoonful then put some bread in the toaster.

Now fuck off x

This exchange made me laugh.

Here's some Jacks having a nice time at the Groucho Club.

I am having a bit of a tidy up (Jack would call it work) and I came across that photograph I mentioned in an earlier thread. Her playacting of a person with cancer has really got to me, I cannot explain quite how angry, disgusted, outraged and downright offended I am.

A coachload of 36 Gay men in their 20's and 30's, back in the 80's, and only I was still alive 10 years later. HIV and AIDs took so many young and lovely men. I visited them in hospital, nursed them, listened to them, laughed and cried with them. Not one, and I mean not one, of them had half the self pity of that woman.

A good friend (and boss as it happened) died of breast cancer when she was only 32, leaving a beautiful 5 year old daughter. Her husband had left her for another woman a year before. Not once did she take pitiful photographs of herself for attention or sympathy.

I am actually in tears, I can't tell you what a wicked woman Jack is.

I can't get that picture of her using cancer imagery out of my mind, she is beneath contempt.

diva.wps said:

Sorry, I wouldn’t normally comment on a woman’s body but she’s got quite the rack on her for someone with “wasted legs”. They are not wasted. She looks healthy.

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Jeez, I just caught up on the end of the last thread.

Only Jack could write about her "stupidly wasted legs" in a photo of her standing beside someone in a wheelchair. Other people literally don't exist to her.

Update: Jack is considering suing herself for libel.

She's still RAGING about being called a capitalist which gives me an idea for a thread title: Jack Monroe Rampant Capitalist.

I've been waiting to share this for ages but wanted to wait until I could do it justice. I think that's now. <insert the rest of Jack's anti-climactic Sponsorbot Twitter spiel>

Basically I've outsourced all maverick recipe creation to Slopbot. Unlike Jack's Sponsorbot, this is an actual bot (kind of, it's a random sentence generator) that will produce recipes for you. Here's an example of the kind of delicious concoctions it can come up with:



You can access Slopbot via slopbot.com and then click on the NEW SLOP PLEASE (I haven't worked out how to change the font size in the button, if you're on mobile you'll have to trust me that's what it says) button underneath the Slopbot picture for a new recipe.

I hope this isn't against the rules, I did check them forensically. This website doesn't benefit me in any way, it's not a company, it's not social media and it's not harassment, it just makes it easier to lampoon Jack's recipes and inspire the exploration of new culinary avenues. Obviously I will take it down if it is deemed inappropriate.

Hola you canal of mithering ninnies! Long time lurker emerging from the wings as recent chaoses/ chaosi (?) have just been too good! I was peripherally aware of Jack as I’m part of her target market. No, not a poor, a middle class lefty leaning Guardian reader. But I didn’t really think much about her, then one day I randomly replied to a request for help with one of her (many) ailments as I was going through same with (an actually diagnosed by a Dr) illness and I got a really snotty “completed it mate” so I paid a bit of attention and thought she was an arrogant arse and forgot about her again. Fast forward to 2020 and my OH (I have one, hasn’t left) lost loads of (real) work and we had to make savings. Got a couple of Jack recipe books from a charity shop. Ninnies, I have 2 (real) teenage boys and well as (real hasn’t left) OH to feed, and OMG every bloody recipe was inadequate, pointless or downright disgusting. I couldn’t believe she was getting away with publishing that shite so did some digging and here I am.

Anyway, I wanted to say thankspaceyou for all that you do. Whilst I’m loving this potato chaos / flounce I have a particularly soft spot for the Burnside mini chaos which made me snort coffee down my nose on the tube

ANEURISM ANEURISM ANEURISM

It's the *long pause* that makes it great.

🔺️ My mother once stood at a train station next to Heston Blumenthal. She looked at him. He gave her a smug look like, yes, that's right, it's really me, are you impressed? So she asked if he was Harry Hill.

Same energy here.

Cack Slumrow said:

@essexgirl101

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Hi. I am here. A few weeks back a letter made it perfectly clear that, hypothetically, if a person continued to post on an Internet forum their hypothetical former friend would consider legal action. If that were me I couldn’t afford the drama or potential legal defence so hypothetically would just lurk instead.

Anyway, I fancy a game of never have I... never have I had a friend leave a Xmas gift on my doorstep.

*This annoyed me to the point I've had to cockify the squiggle.

Willkommen meine Damen und Herren to thread 500. Please make your way up the red carpet of doom where are hidden many chaoses and gleaming gems of hilarity. Find them all and you can make a pauper's crown using a trifle quiche as a base. Fold in your fat cloves of lies and you will have a perfect recipe for disaster.

Now to business, the thread title is by honorary frau Andy Lynes, a person who can actually cook. It was nominated by the esteemed equerries @hoopdedooand @houseofhoop. Please kneel for your knighthood, king Guest will touch you with her sword of Domocleese and everyone will cheer and applaud.

As for a recap, Guest has been quiet, no doubt grounded by her agent and George Michael. But prior to that, she was the best chess player ever. She outed herself as a royalist, made a vomit quiche, faked a recipe and forced all of this on the poor volunteers and recipients at the Big Help Out. All whilst positioned on a golden lav throne and snorting fat lines of coca snowla.

Today guest has been quiet because during a big dino nap with Dino snores, Guest has been dreaming about this.


Go forth canal and procreate or failing that, keep mithering, keep being forensic and keep your eyes peeled for grifters.