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This shows me nothing other than you’ll be too lazy to ask me any questions other than the ‘and you?’ If I was to ask any

The guy I’ve been dating since January and we made official 2/3 months ago just told me (on our holiday) that he isn’t sure he’s ready for a relationship but is still trying to kiss me and wants to still hang out together and that it’s just “bad timing”.

No thankyou pal. Going to be an awkward 2 more days on this holiday. He can go fuck himself. I’ve just cried all the way back to the hotel and have to find the strength to erase him from my life. He’s had the audacity to say “he’ll probably regret this” and he hopes we can still continue as normal. What, so a relationship without the label so you can use it as a get out clause? No ta.

Is anyone else absolutely petrified at putting themselves out there again? I’m not doing it this year but just the thought of going through the same rigmarole is trauma inducing. I do want a connection though and it’s not going to happen by shutting myself down. Rock and a hard place comes to mind.

I think in general men do move on quickly, especially those my age or older who have never had to cook, clean etc for themselves, they're unable to function without a wife figure to continue enabling them. Whereas women typically enjoy the freedom of not having to fetch and carry for someone else!

I had a bit of a pity party for one last night. I've been fine all over Christmas but then I just got overwhelmed with feelings of why had my life turned out as it has, specifically why have I never met anyone who loved me enough to marry me?

I know it's such a stupid thing to be hung up on. I never really wanted to get married, my life goals were to study law at university, own my own home/ be financially secure and have children. And I've done all that, all the things I wanted, and I know I'm lucky to be able to say that. So why am I still hung up on this marriage thing?

The other thing that isn't helping is that after months of not doing so, I've had dreams about my Ex every night for the last week, which I'm finding really unsettling.

Oooh I’ve found the perfect thread
I’ve got a good story. It’s a long one so bear with me…

So in January a guy who had been following me on insta for about a year and lives locally hit me up in the DM’s and asked me on a date. Fully fed up with lockdown life by this point and him being a beautiful specimen of a man, I said yes. Except we’re in lockdown so we can’t go anywhere except stay in the house so he comes to mine. We drink red wine, we watch tv, we drink more wine and we have sex. The man is hung like a horse and fire in bed; couldn’t believe my luck. Later on he shows me something on his phone and a message pops up at the same time from a girl. She’s got a double barrelled name and she happens to be best mates with my neighbour so I know who she is. He says they’ve been mates for years, I think nothing much more of it.

We end up speaking every day and seeing each other about twice a week for the next 6 weeks. During this time he keeps talking about how desperate he is to be a dad. I’ve already told him at this point how much I struggled when my daughter was a baby so I was in the ‘never say never but certainly not going out of my way to try’ camp. I tell him to chill and just enjoy it for what it is.

The following week my period is late and I shit a brick because his communication has started to slow down and I haven’t seen him for a week. Period arrives (phew!) and I try to arrange a catch up for the following weekend. I get no response. I wait a few days and nothing. I have no interest in mind games so I send him a message wishing him well. He apologises, says his head has been in the shed but we agree to go our separate ways because he can’t get past the fact I don’t want more kids (not quite what I told him but hey ho).

A few days later I log onto Facebook only to see a post from him announcing he is having a baby with miss double-barrel! Scan photo and everything. 3 months pregnant

I then found out recently through a friend that he was also seeing someone else at the same time who he also went quiet on then found out about the baby on Facebook. I don’t know how he found the time!

katyazamo said:

So... Got a message on insta from an old aquaintance replying to a story, asking how things were going, boring pandemic chat, usual stuff. Normal chat until he comes out with "don't judge me but I'm feeling really horny right now lol"

Fuck sake. Here we go

I really couldn't be fucked with it and tbh was taken aback as I don't really know the guy, so replied with "lol, good luck with that, I'm away to bed" and put my phone down. The next morning I woke up to not one, but two videos of him wanking

I should have blocked there and then but stupid me replied with "dude, I think you've got the wrong idea here" and he replied to say he was really sorry and felt embarrassed. I was getting my blocking finger ready and he followed up with "but if you're into it then I could come over lol" - ARE YOU KIDDING.

I'm grossed out by it all. Men are seriously vile creatures. He's blocked now but fucking hell, that's the last time entertain someone like that. Currently going through my followers and deleting people I haven't seen for years because fuck that.

Click to expand...

Unblock him for a minute and send this

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The crossed legs and the way he’s holding his phone

What possesses some men to message this as an opener.

realhousewivewannabe said:

Hi Gang, thanks for the tag in the new thread @Clickbait

I never messaged back and he hasn’t contacted me since this on Tuesday. I just thought he’d contact. So I assume the date is offView attachment 835322

If I’m completely honest I’m not really in a good headspace now. Over the weekend when I was posting I was at a wedding on social media the bald 37 year old I mentioned in a few threads ago contacted me and I got 4 missed calls from him. He was Telling me how much he missed me and how lovely I looked. Saying he still liked me etc and He begged to meet up with me asking if he could book a hotel etc. I answered a call to speak to him because it had been over a month since we last had spoken especially as the last thing I said was he hurt my feelings. He was asking me how many dates I’d been on, if I still wear the hoodie of his he gave me etc

I asked him a few times if he was seeing someone his response every time was that it doesn’t matter, why does it matter. I didn’t feel like I got an answer and each time during the night / early hours of the morning he was pushing for me to FaceTime or send explicit pictures I said no. I said I couldn’t do this it’s not fair on me or if he’s seeing someone etc. He then said it would not be a good idea for us meeting and that he shouldn’t have messaged me.

Anyway long story short I decided to call him yesterday mainly to speak as I had a clear mind. I just felt really taken back by him contacting me after a month +. he never answered the phone nor call back but then blocked me on WhatsApp. I’m feeling hurt because I don’t know what I did wrong but more feel shitty as i got sucked back into this shit.

The poster was right when she said I can’t get past the first date I couldn’t even get a guy to text me again so I could go on one this Saturday

Click to expand...

Tough love here but you must take some responsibility for your own actions on this one. He has already presented to you as someone who does not and will never meet your needs or requirements. In your own words he is “37, divorcee, doesn’t want to have kids - had the snip and has two already what a catch lol” - he also didn’t seem to want marriage either. Both things you want.

He has hurt your feelings, messed you around, ignored you, and now in round 3 he got thirsty seeing how good you looked and went against what he said before about how it’s not fair to sleep with you, by suggesting he books a hotel room for you and you send him dirty photos!

He is NO GOOD FOR YOU. And you are extending the pain by engaging with this nonsense. The WhatsApp blocking is the kindest thing he could have done for you.

I honestly think you need to realise that the small things he did for you like be complimentary and drive to see you are basic niceties and do not show any particular effort on his part. Added to that he’s clearly shagging around with other women, the idea that you want to keep engaging is telling me you need to work on your self esteem.

Start by making a list of all your good qualities (of which there will be many) and take a bloody good long look at it. That is what you could offer someone lucky enough to date you. Let that sink in and realise that if you accept so much less from them you are doing yourself a disservice and eventually you will start to feel resentful that you get their stale breadcrumbs from the table and they’re getting a freshly baked loaf from the oven.

Next make a list of your non-negotiables. It is OK to be picky. Now use this to filter men so you don’t end up in emotional turmoil over someone who isn’t worth your tears or your time. I do feel you make some bad choices with the men you date or engage with which we’ve all done, but repeating this over and over again is going to get the same results. You need a hard reset on all this.

Sounds like an absolute catch 🥲

Fucking hell I am feeling so lonely this festive period once again. Everyone I know is so loved and or having amazing first Christmases with their babies or being pregnant and already talking about how next Christmas is going to be even better and I’ve spent the last 48 hours feeling like shit I feel so awful but I am just so jealous of everyone else. I know no ones life is perfect and social media is smoke and mirrors but all of my friendship group are genuinely happy and loving this period. I just can’t shift this feeling of when is it my turn to be happy and feel loved? After 4 years of being single I so want to meet someone and get on the path of having my own family but it’s just not happening ive said it before on this thread, but I really feel like ive done the work on myself, I have a good life, I’m busy, I’m independent etc so I just don’t get why it hasn’t happened for me yet? Sorry for the moan I just feel so down about spending another Xmas and new year by myself