Well done to
@Missymoo92 another fabulous thread title! And it’s over to
@Good Egg for her first ever recap
so excited for this!!
Today this could beeee the greatest day of my life. Who’s the BAFTA award winning writer now *flounces*
Roundup of thread #57
First time doing this
. Here goes...
Following on from the drama/family emergency that was Saturday morning in the Conway household, the drama of Ste falling off of his bike and into the canal
. (All was OK!
) resulted in a tetanus shot (to proctect Ste from the dangers Babs wearing the same PJ’s five months in a row
) Our Babs swiftly put our Ste back to “bed” or “lying across the settee” *is this further proof that Ste doesn’t share the marital bed??*
Earlier the same day, Matalan shared her photo of Babs wearing her new jumper and coat. Comments included “how she’s not very inspirational for clothes when she spends the majority of her time in pyjamas” another poster then commented that Matalan made a “bad choice” following Babs domestic violence threats towards her husband. Babs Sister/Horrible Histories writer/BAFTA winner Claire was quick off the mark in replying to Babfend but alas the internet lasts forever and Matalan deleted the post as fast as you can say “Mark Wright doesn’t know who Babs is!”
To quote
@bitsandbobs123
“She wants to ‘smash’ Steve’s face in
He ‘smashes’ his knee in
Whilst going to buy some ‘smash’
You couldn’t make this shit up”
I don’t think the IC2000 can fathom to think about what the king of the roasts will do without his pre-made mash on the roast dinner with pea confetti
.
Poor Pus
To quote:
@AliceInWanderLost
“poor ste, having to deal with a smashed knee, a trip to A&E, no mashed potato AND a babs breakdown all in one day”
Four hours since the takedown of the Matalan post and Babs was mysteriously quiet
we all concluded that:-
a) she’s pissed as a fart on a gin in a tin
b) nursing Ste back to health so she can resume normal duties of being a slob
c) on the Kitchen/Bathroom floor mid meltdown!
d) it was all lies fabricated to cover up the Matalan debacle
e) ALL OF THE ABOVE
But we didn’t have to wait long because she reappeared with manky dressing gown and sudacrem on her spots later that evening
. Apparently post canal dipping, Ste asked for “George” to pass him a plaster? Who is this George that Ste speaks of? Grindr Boyfriend? Regina George, George from Rainbow
. We are 100% certain it doesn’t stand for Gorge as in gorgeous
. I digress...maybe gorge as in gorging on food?
Finally Babs confirmed the news we’ve been waiting for... the mash was in the backpack, because Ste is a HERO
The king of roasts redeemed himself - huzzah!
8am Sunday morning and an appearance from the pit of doom. Normal service has resumed, I joke! (we all screamed!) Babs can’t wait to show us a Boots and Matalan haul *awks much Babs?* called herself a “potato head” nod to Tattle indeed!
. Babs remembered to upload her vlog of the utility cupboard makeover/renovation
. She ‘werks so hard!’
In Sunday’s vlog Babs stumbles on remembering her lies!! As I’m sure Tattlers will remember from last week Babs had a covid test because of her headache and continuous cough (bullshit) and from watching the vlog there is no evidence of any cough or headache. Babs also stated that she needed to “scrub the utility as when they moved in they just shoved everything in” Now the eagle eyed Tattlers amongst us will remember they had to stay in a hotel as they needed to scrub the house from top to bottom before they could move in! Babnochio
strikes again! *example how Babs falls and stumbles on her lies and cannot remember what she said to who*
Sunday afternoon and the Conways went on an afternoon walk minus poor Ste as he was “shoved up to bed” a quick pose for the gram (but didn’t tag Matalan!) and she was good to go! Ste is still missing in action and we’ve seen no evidence of his injuries - was it all just a ploy to divert Matalan gate? No mash either or dry roast...
Sunday evening and a grid post for Ste. Ste’s canal stumble is turning into quite the tragedy, so much so the RSC (or Rabid Showcase Conway!) would put this acting on as a stage showpiece! Did he or did he not fall on the canal that is the question! Babs is acting suspiciously strange, is it to cover up the Matalan debacle? Is it to deflect from the undelivered mugs she promised the Babettes would be with them by the end of the week? Could Ste be Covid19 positive? Is he helping Wet Sandra move? Has he took his mash to Brighton to snuggle up with George?
Monday morning and no update from the pit of doom! Instead we are delighted by that manky pink dressing gown and “my girl, my girl” updates from the kitchen. No Ste because he’s sleeping in (all about a grazed knee Babs?). The phrase ‘man up’ springs to mind but also how on earth did Babs get out of bed and not wake Ste up?
We’ve had fashion advice (on what not to wear!) including sharing socks with your tween, jumpsuits and tights and open toed shoes combo - rabid!
Unusually for Babs, she stayed quiet all day and made a brief appearance in the afternoon wearing the same dressing gown as she was wearing in the morning... another Tattle TINGO here re: George lol
https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-57-emma-asa-been-a-naughty-girl.15060/post-3846279
Tuesday, another day (still in the same PJs
) and today is BAFTA award winning Claire’s Birthday (I mean Babs special day!) Emma's stories, from the pit of doom showcased Emma’s narcissistic side... a few photos of Emma centre stage, her sister's birthday and Claire being in the Conways' bubble *which proves what a covidiot Emma Conway is as Claire has a bubble not The Conways*.
Our Babs has been on White Rose Maths calculating that 70% want to see Ste’s boo boo, but alas it would put you off your cornflakes. Noice! Still no sign of Ste? We all didn’t have to wait long though and
at 10am we could all sigh in relief as “Ste has Risen” **Hallelujah** praise be! (and by risen we mean his hairy back and haircut has been posted to the gram) so much for not oversharing Babs?
And as for oversharing - Babs is feeling stressed or has she put it has “extra added stress” (there there) as Ste’s boo boo has become “manky” *nod to Tattle* or infected and he needs “special antibiotic stuff” as a previous advertiser of Savlon you’d think she’d be clued up on keeping wounds clean but I guess that was overshadowed by the money incoming!!! as if the NHS were not overstretched already they are tending to the Narcissistic needs of the Conways.
And then - just like that an AD appears!
To celebrate BAFTA award winning sister Claire’s birthday the Wettons have decided to twin wearing Matalan jumpers but not tagging Matalan - nothing like passive aggressiveness - no sign of the kids and Babs is pissed up by 4:30pm in the afternoon - such a role model!
The thread has ended by this little gem:
https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-57-emma-asa-been-a-naughty-girl.15060/post-3859970all about new rules regarding advertising and filters... more woe is me-ing and taking the limelight off her BAFTA award winning sister's birthday, Babs just has to write a sympathy post that's all about HER and the negative comments she has recieved over the past seven years and those mean trollz! Talking about advertising standards , we still haven’t heard who the winner was from the competition??
Alas only Bab can turn something around to be all about her....
[For newbies to the thread - some useful info:
Alter egos of Emma - Babs/Babnochio/Babatha Christie/KeBAB/Shorts/Emma Con-woman
Alter egos of Stephen - Ste/Pus (put upon Ste)/Longs/Slenderman/Kenny/Mickey/Pus the wuss
The Babettes are her loyal followers who blow smoke up her arse!
Oh! And don’t insult our Babs intelligence or “fuck with her mind” she has a masters don’t you know (she doesn’t like to talk about it... much).
Hope that helps
]
. 
