Mumsnet #37 Wipe down my cucumber and sanitise my Hovis, I need to get my dicks in a row!

[doctordoctor]

Oh bless her, she's trying to get the thread deleted now

Where is the report button please?

I still think it's made up.

I think so too.

 

[Geetbo]

They're obsessed with their husband/partner's phones over there.

I know my partner's pin and he knows mine. We leave our phones lying around all the time. If his work phones beeps when he's in another room, I might glance at it in case it's anything urgent (he works for himself so the phone constantly beeps) but otherwise I'm not bothered and I doubt he's ever looked at mine either, though I couldn't care less if he does.

Yeah I could probably guess my fellas if I had to, but I’ve no desire to.
He’s allowed some privacy, and I don’t doubt he slags me off to his mates sometimes. It doesn’t make me cry and shake.

 

[Samf2020]

One asking how she can get her shopping under 1K for a month for 2 adults, 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs.
The usual mix of batch cooking, bulk out with lentils etc.
And one really helpful one simply states she wouldnt have 2 dogs.
How did she think that was helpful.

 

[VC10]

One asking how she can get her shopping under 1K for a month for 2 adults, 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs.
The usual mix of batch cooking, bulk out with lentils etc.
And one really helpful one simply states she wouldnt have 2 dogs.
How did she think that was helpful.

They really are just trolls

 

[Iamonlyhereforthetea]

I love that when someone disagrees with the neurotic “he glanced at a woman so he must be cheating” posters the cheerleaders always come out with “ignore the cool wives OP”

Not a cool wife but maybe someone who doesn’t get stressed that my husband has a life that doesn't include me 24/7 which in my view is perfectly healthy

 

[orangehead]

Oh bless her, she's trying to get the thread deleted now

Where is the report button please?

I still think it's made up.

Yep! Probably just hoped she could get three threads out of it and introduce another 4 character but she’s slipped up introducing her own affair

 

[Serene Serena]

One asking how she can get her shopping under 1K for a month for 2 adults, 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs.
The usual mix of batch cooking, bulk out with lentils etc.
And one really helpful one simply states she wouldnt have 2 dogs.
How did she think that was helpful.

The dogs, to be fair, unless they are Chihuahuas or Yorkies, would probably stretch to several batch cooked stews, if she's that short of money.

 

[orangehead]

One asking how she can get her shopping under 1K for a month for 2 adults, 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs.
The usual mix of batch cooking, bulk out with lentils etc.
And one really helpful one simply states she wouldnt have 2 dogs.
How did she think that was helpful.

Can people not solve their own problems? Rehome the dogs, get the kids adopted, divorce the husband, downsize to a smaller home, get a better paid job and your shopping will be less. Simple.

 

[Serene Serena]

Can people not solve their own problems? Rehome the dogs, get the kids adopted, divorce the husband, downsize to a smaller home, get a better paid job and your shopping will be less. Simple.

And take in ironing.

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

What goes through people’s heads right before they think “ahhh yes, I’ll post on Mumsnet”?

 

[definitelynotvlad]

One asking how she can get her shopping under 1K for a month for 2 adults, 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs.
The usual mix of batch cooking, bulk out with lentils etc.
And one really helpful one simply states she wouldnt have 2 dogs.
How did she think that was helpful.

£1000 a month though!! How many massive salads & big chickens is she buying? Think of all the delicious UPFs you could buy for £1k a month.

 

[HotDawg]

Is it just me pr does there seem to be an alarming number of husbands on dating sites or simply cheating with other women on Mumsnet? So many threads where the wife has found messages on his phone/tablet. I can't access my husband's phone, it's facial recognition, as is mine. He's currently watching the Westham game and his phone is constantly buzzing, and I'm pretty sure it's his footie mad mates providing their own running commentary on the match. On the other hand, he could have a secret dating profile and being inundated with messages from the OW

Maybe I'm being naïve but there must be other signs your DH is playing away from home (good football analogy eh?) than messages to and from another woman? In the many, many threads about cheating husbands, it always comes as a complete surprise.

If it turns out my DH is a cheating scumbag and isn't having a live online convo with his mates, I shall have to get my poultry in logical formation forthwith.

Move all your joint savings into your own account, hide the passports, pack a secret bag. He’s definitely on Grindr. Your kids are going to have 2 daddies now.

 

[Serene Serena]

What goes through people’s heads right before they think “ahhh yes, I’ll post on Mumsnet”?

View attachment 2901014

Poo troll perhaps? At least there's not a photo.

 

[cat_follower]

Made the mistake of searching ‘how much weight did you put on when pregnant’ there the other day and was treated to many, many teeny tinies who put exactly 10lb on and fit into their normal clothes 3 seconds after giving birth. My favourite was the one who genuinely couldn’t comprehend anyone putting on more than a few pounds. I put on a decidedly un-French 5 stone (basically a whole mumsnetter!) with both pregnancies because my babies they crave the biscuits and the pizzas and my body it hates the exercise 🫠

 

[Iamonlyhereforthetea]

duck me just when I thought they couldn’t get any worse. I am sensitive to noise but I wouldn’t be pissed off about someone who needs something to live

 

[Serene Serena]

duck me just when I thought they couldn’t get any worse. I am sensitive to noise but I wouldn’t be pissed off about someone who needs something to live View attachment 2901060

Jesus, the compassion and empathy just oozes from that poster. What a cow.

 

[bread-pitt]

One asking how she can get her shopping under 1K for a month for 2 adults, 2 teenage boys and 2 dogs.
The usual mix of batch cooking, bulk out with lentils etc.
And one really helpful one simply states she wouldnt have 2 dogs.
How did she think that was helpful.

That’ll be the next thread…,how many people does a MN DDog feed? Forget the chicken. In such lean times we have to eat the family pets.
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Can people not solve their own problems? Rehome the dogs, get the kids adopted, divorce the husband, downsize to a smaller home, get a better paid job and your shopping will be less. Simple.

You forgot “take in ironing”.
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What’s the luckiest thing that could happen to you? Winning the lottery? Surviving a plane crash? Or living next to Thomas the tank engine?

 

[Millie2023]

That’ll be the next thread…,how many people does a MN DDog feed? Forget the chicken. In such lean times we have to eat the family pets.
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You forgot “take in ironing”.
---
What’s the luckiest thing that could happen to you? Winning the lottery? Surviving a plane crash? Or living next to Thomas the tank engine?

We had the misfortune to go on a Thomas the Wank Engine stream train once. We didn’t even have bloody kids at the time, we went with friends. We paid about a million pounds to travel about 3 miles down the line and back. Next time, I’d rather poke my own eyes out. There wasn’t even a bloody wine trolley. Fml

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

We had the misfortune to go on a Thomas the Wank Engine stream train once. We didn’t even have bloody kids at the time, we went with friends. We paid about a million pounds to travel about 3 miles down the line and back. Next time, I’d rather poke my own eyes out. There wasn’t even a bloody wine trolley. Fml

I live in a town obsessed by railways (yes really)
And one Saturday years ago they had a Thomas the tank engine going up and down on a bit of disused line, with kids all screaming and carrying on… it was right next door to my Saturday job and was hungover to hell… duck Thomas

Did anyone see the AMA the other day from the gypsy woman? Really didn’t go the way she was hoping at all… but it got me thinking how many times they say to the OP ‘you sound lovely…’ and mean it, like how can you tell from a few anonymous online postings

For anyone who’s interested I’m currently eating a kebab, with extra pitta bread, chilli AND garlic sauce… but it has salad on the side so I’m saved!
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Oh and I’ve never ever checked a partners phone… not even my last ‘DP’ who was seeing at least five women at the same time

 

[Serene Serena]

I saw the gypsy AMA - she got a bit of a telling off for referring to herself as a gypsy and taking her kids out of school at the age of 12 and wanting to be a traditional wife, didn't she?

I am eating rice cakes, salt and vinegar flavour and I'm not allowed to slather them with pate like I usually would