Father of Daughters #44 My vagina slams itself shut every time I see his stories.

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Congratulations @allybongo on your first thread title!! It's brilliant 🤣

Thanks @Dogmuck for the recap.

I watched Andre on mute. Wtf is wrong with him? Actually, wtf is right with him.

I wish someone would gift them an Alice in Wonderland print for shits and giggles. Bet that wouldn't get hung up or raved about.
We should post them one!

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You are a 30 something yr old adult man Simon. What is this? “Felt cute, might delete later” are your bots 13yr old girls because no adults speak like that. Arrg and you a man, you are so embarrassing. I would absolutely cringe if you were my husband or father.
 
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I can't remember the last time he seemed like he was really enjoying family life.

The last time I can think of that he looked like he was genuinely having a great time was that trip to the middle east without his family.
 
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Why is he even carrying that kid, why aren't they riding their new bikes? Take shorter walks numb nut, then they might not complain so much but then he would have nothing to post about in his 'woe is me' series.
 
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We should post them one!

View attachment 449273
You are a 30 something yr old adult man Simon. What is this? “Felt cute, might delete later” are your bots 13yr old girls because no adults speak like that. Arrg and you a man, you are so embarrassing. I would absolutely cringe if you were my husband or father.
Ahhhhh couldn’t agree more! He just gets worse and worse.
“Felt cute might delete later”... great new addition to the wall of stupid prints or a future thread title...
 
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“Everyone driving past me is laughing at me, because I’m walking two sausage dogs”

actually I think it’s probably because you’re a grown man, walking along filming yourself talking into your phone, you absolute knob end.
 
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We should post them one!

View attachment 449273
You are a 30 something yr old adult man Simon. What is this? “Felt cute, might delete later” are your bots 13yr old girls because no adults speak like that. Arrg and you a man, you are so embarrassing. I would absolutely cringe if you were my husband or father.
I don’t understand why he’s still wearing #gifted Insta mama merch after all that went on surely you’d want to reclaim an independent identity?

His beloved Topman and Burton must have had closing down sales, no??
 
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God I really thought/hoped that after the whole tattle fiasco that these would just vanish from earth forever. Why he he still on instagram and still posting? I'm embarrassed for him. Is he addicted to embarrassment and instagram likes?
 
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Literally was going to say the same thing he’s like a broken record the moaning bastard
How many of us would love to live near great beaches and the countryside
He goes on about the girls moaning - perhaps they have inherited it from him 🤔
It's still lockdown (not that fod cares) so he shouldn't really be driving anywhere when he can easily walk to do exercise from his front door.

God I really thought/hoped that after the whole tattle fiasco that these would just vanish from earth forever. Why he he still on instagram and still posting? I'm embarrassed for him. Is he addicted to embarrassment and instagram likes?
Glen needs to stage an intervention.
 
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I don’t understand why he’s still wearing #gifted Insta mama merch after all that went on surely you’d want to reclaim an independent identity?

His beloved Topman and Burton must have had closing down sales, no??
Wait till summer and he’ll prob pull out that black and white striped t-shirt that looks like River Island Teen girls!
 
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Just checked in on FOD. My god, the shame of your father posting that "felt cute, might delete later".

I had second hand embarrassment for poor Anya.
 
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The constant moaning needs to stop. I was moaning months ago when I tough it was temporary. This is going to be our life for the next months/year so just accept it and try to make it enjoyable you twit, you have all you need for a nice life in lockdown !
Also what kind of bleep wears white converse for a nature walk ?
 

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The constant moaning needs to stop. I was moaning months ago when I tough it was temporary. This is going to be our life for the next months/year so just accept it and try to make it enjoyable you twit, you have all you need for a nice life in lockdown !
Also what kind of bleep wears white converse for a nature walk ?
The twins are FIVE years old. It’s really worrying that he babies them so much. They should be able to manage a bloody walk. They’re not 3.
 
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The twins are FIVE years old. It’s really worrying that he babies them so much. They should be able to manage a bloody walk. They’re not 3.
my 2 year old can manage to walk around that country park they’re at, I bet they could walk but he wanted some photos for the gram, he is such a twit
 
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Just checked in on FOD. My god, the shame of your father posting that "felt cute, might delete later".

I had second hand embarrassment for poor Anya.
It comes off as hun bait. He prob hoped all the Darlene’s in Wisconsin would DM him with “looks cute, Fodney. your such a great dad!!1!” (Typos on purpose, obvs.)
 
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