Scouse Bird Blogs Wiki

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  • Scouse Bird Blogs is the Instagram account for Stephanie Johnson (previously bannister), 37 years old from god knows where (st Helen’s? Maghull as she went to Maricourt?)
    Previously married to prison officer Paul bannister who seems to bring their young daughter up the majority of the time while Steph talks into her phone about hunting dick

    went out with Jake cureton and broadcasted their sex life over Instagram not even 6 months after splitting up with Paul (a weird podcaster from Crosby who was expelled from school for masturbating then wiping the you know what on a poor girls back) - this relationship ended but bizarrely Steph remained friends with his mum and still has sleepovers there. Jake also was seen nearly vomiting all over Instagram after Steph farted while they were in bed

    Steph was the hugely popular scousebirdprobs anonymous blog/twitter/insta account (and before this handbag vodka, about 9 years ago) and used to post funny, relatable memes.. then things started to go pear shaped when the infamous CIRCLE OF SHEOW began, where Steph would post photographs of people on nights out looking in her words ‘a show’, circling them and calling the image a circle of SHEOW thus inviting criticism and basically outright bullying of these innocent people

    Approx 2014 Steph was papped at the races by none other than the daily Mail and her identity was leaked, so Steph decided to out herself

    she then started to ‘bask’ in a newfound zeleb status and attended events ran by absolute NOBODIES

    Her social media accounts were all mysteriously hacked by someone who generously let her continue posting on them so long as they could spam a load of adverts about nonsense. She ended up having to let the hacker keep the site. Tattle theory is she gave her social passwords to some company promising to make her a quick buck.

    From then on she has created the brand ‘scouse bird blogs’ and has the following accounts

    scousebirdshouse (the house that taste forgot)

    Scousebirdspirits (overpriced gin which can be bought direct from the supplier for a fraction of the cost) despite once saying she HATES GIN and referring to it as DEVILS JUICE see screenshot below

    Scousebirdshop (a shop which sells absolute shite such as pens which have written on them ‘I HAVE A HAIRY FANNY’ no self respecting scouser would by, which also seems to be empty 24/7 despite Steph claiming to have turned over 1 million pounds in 2020). Also branched out into the candle market absolutely ripping off a guy called Eddie who took to Facebook to make an absolute twat of Steph by calling her out

    Scousebirdtravelandscran (to anyone reading this not from Liverpool - NO BODY CALLS FOOD SCRAN!!!!)

    Below is a TLDR of her antics

    ✨Cora winning the womb lotto - because she lives in Crosby near the beach (in reality it’s about a 25 min walk - Steph repeatedly says her daughter has won the womb lottery when in reality the kid spends more time with her dad in Walton)
    ✨Scranning of arse (obvs) -scouse ma (another nonentity) posted a meme once about a sexual position and Steph commented that her fave position was the sniper so she could ‘scran ar
    ✨Knocking around with Lizzy Parr who was about 15 to her 20+ years
    ✨How she lives in a mansion drinking champers when in reality it’s an end terrace she bought for £150k
    ✨Her £1,000,000 turnover 🤥
    ✨Don't DM her with your issues/problems she couldn't give a shit - she says she doesn’t give permission for anyone to ask her for advice
    ✨ Spouting Be Kind but took pride in dissing Claudia winkleman on national TV advert
    ✨Circle of sheow
    ✨ The fridge reveal with zero kids food but claims to have her 50/50
    ✨ The swinging!!! A tattler came on and spilled the beans about Steph swinging with the weird Corell couple who now seem to have disappeared from social media
    ✨ Selling her stinking socks to a stranger
    ✨Profiting from Hillsborough with her tacky AF jewellery (fuck the sun earrings) but never donating a penny
    ✨ Her 'natural' juicy lips

    she has suddenly started going to the gym and thinks she’s some mad meatball molly type fitness fanatic, who also likes to shame fellow gym goers and post pics wearing some questionable gym gear with matching headbands. Also is partial to an underwear pic in Jake’s mums house (ma cureton) - screenshot below of a photo of Steph wearing underwear with a sanitary towel visible

    Steph once posted a selfie on Instagram ripping the back out of Caroline flack by mentioning for domestic violence court case (and we all know what came of poor Caroline a few months later)

    Steph bought a jarg covid antibodies test online and announced to all her followers it was the “one Germany had used”. She included a swipe up to a Lithuanian based company who’s tests where selling at a knockdown price and had been widely discredited

    Steph expects men to pay for her food until such a time that the gender imbalance is resolved.

    when performing a squat, Steph walks forwards out from the rack and then shuffles backwards into it when she’s don

    the Consumer Rights Act 2015 has no jurisdiction in the scousebird shop

    Steph targets a wide audience including hopeful webcam models, expectant mothers and hairy fanny pen users.

    The stairs in Steph’s house are painted ombre Blue on purpose.

    Steph’s Garden surrounds the front of her property and she hopes it will soon be akin to the Love Island garden, despite months having gone by and it still resembling a demolition site.

    steph left her husband for a questionable chap with a history of domestic abuse

    Steph lacks capacity to handle people with an opinion which differs to her own. To Steph, these people are all Tories, lonely and/or bald.

    she claims to hate the Tories yet takes their grants and cash to pay staff about 1p more than the National minimum wage

    Steph also took her 5 year old daughter and her friends to celebrate her birthday party at mini madams kids spa for a pamper day and LEFT THEM there. Steph also presented Cora with a piñata in the shape/style of her face and encouraged her to bash fuck out if it. Very normal behaviour for a mother

    During lockdown, Steph put Cora in key worker school, despite not being a key worker, and being at home

    she has also began exploring the realms of TikTok, and likes to post videos alluding to her obsession with all things Tudor, example here:

    On 10th September, Steph announced she hates the Tudors. She now likes the Plantagenets.

    Steph posted a length Instagram story exposing a ‘liar’ - Steph met a fella online and truly believed she had bagged herself a doctor, to then find out he was married, graftin on all her “friends” on
    Twitter and worked in a Bolton branch of specsavers. 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ DR BADMAN TING. She also admitted she had been sending him ‘sexy’ photos (example below)

    Steph concluded the best way to address this situation was to tell the internet all about it during 48 hours of fairly worrying story content.
    Steph also took the opportunity to remind everyone to get STD checked, disclosing to the nation she’d been barebacking this stranger.

    Tea on the corell saga courtesy of a fellow DAB:
    Tea on the corell saga courtesy of a fellow DAB:

    I was on holiday about 6 years ago and she had gone away with that ex ex fella to stay with them. Can’t remember his name. On her return a huge Twitter war broke out between them all over who was paying for her flights. The corrells paid using staff discount for easyJet but they assumed she would pay them back but she just didn’t want to. It lasted a good week or so and was public as f**k for all to see. She still never paid them.

    I also mentioned that they are known swingers who turned their whole bottom floor of their Dubai house into a nightclub (in a largely family area) then a tattler absolutely lowered the tone and said that they knew Mrs C got locked in a dog cage while Mr C blurted in a dog bowl then let her out to eat it. Steph’s used to be friends. Classy 😂

    Her piss poor attempt at trying to rebrand to "Sassy bird" after trying to make a name and profit off of scouse stereotypes for the best part of decade, despite being a wool, deserves a mention

    Despite being a self proclaimed expert on relationships and life in general, you must NOT message Steph for advice without obtaining authorisation, because it ruins her day.

    Steph sells and promotes drinks which she claims prevent hangovers in spite of there being no such thing. Steph does not think this as a breach of her obligations under her licence to sell alcohol, for reasons known only to herself.

    Steph loves being single and reaffirms this on a daily basis.

    Jeff was the first person in Merseyside, maybe even the whole of Britain, to catch covid and declared that she had lost her sense of smell, later saying she had developed long Covid. Everything allegedly smells of the dock road apart from anything scented that she sells in her shop of shite (eg candles, overpriced Spanish cleaning products, bath bombs) which all smell amazing. Allegedly.

    Steph promotes CBD gummy bears but will not spend her own money on them, if she runs out of free ones she does not replace them, leading us to conclude they are, in fact, a jar of shite.

    Steph was recently taken aback when she discovered her regular gym going for the past 2 years had resulted in her fitness having improved. Steph ran 9km over the course of two days and is now basically Paula Radcliffe.

    Steph has over 3 friends.

    Steph believes her front garden is in fact a sunken garden with a pool, supporting the theory that she lives in her own reality.

    Steph shared screenshots of Tattle in June 2021 thus proving she absolutely reads here. She then posted a series of stories confirming that she is indeed the centre of her own universe and it’s her Instagram…. Lovely words from a mother of a young child who you would think would be the centre of her universe

    Ever doing the lords work, a DAB successfully saved the livers of the northwest by getting the ASA to point out to her that there is no such thing as a hangover prevention drink. As a result, Steph is no longer permitted to claim this

    Steph immediately perceived this as a personal attack. Missing the point entirely, Steph went on an Instagram rant to prove to everyone how calm, sophisticated and unbothered she is that she was reported and sarcastically referring to the drinks as none hangover drinks.

    Oblivious of the threat to the manufacturer, Steph maintained her arrogant stance and seemed to think she had found an ingenious work around to the ASA stipulations. Unfortunately for Steph, anything she says which would cause the consumer to believe the drinks prevent a hangover is banned which includes Sarcasm. In attempting to be clever, Steph has sent the ASAs attention to the manufacturers own marketing.

    Steph has monetised Hillsborough and the ill feeling the people of liverpool have towards the sun newspaper by selling “fuck the sun” necklaces and keeping all the proceeds

    Steph has launched a ‘coffee shop’ which actually translates to a coffee machine and a few chairs outside the shop of doom on piss alley where consumers can enjoy a CAPPUCINO (see her price list with fantastic spelling skills below) whilst sitting amongst bifter butts and feral pigeons

    Steph was asked if she could start using instagram’s new captions feature (which automatically produces subtitles) so that those who struggled to hear Steph could make out what she is saying.

    Steph acknowledged the request, but informed everyone that her insanely busy work schedule meant that she did not have the time. She cited an example of her having worked 8am - 6pm that day.

    Steph has a crooked toe in the Sex Work industry, selling her sweaty socks to punters who enjoy wanking over them. One geezer has had 4 pairs off her. She’s proud of this and informs her followers when she’s sold an extra sweaty pair.

    Steph let a sweaty fart go when she was advertising hair berrrst. The product that does absolutely nothing for her rats nest of an over bleached head (video below)

    Constantly recycles tweets (example below)

    in October 2021 Steph posted stories on insta saying her cars been ransacked yet admitted to leaving it unlocked … make of that what you will (screenshot below)

    Steph became aware that a person who operated the anonymous Twitter account old scouse bird had sadly passed away. Steph hijacked this tragedy and proceeded to upload a series of inappropriate stories in which she was crying naked in a towel. Steph was unaware the deceased had been ill, had not seen her for several years and found out about the death as it was announced on Twitter by the deceased’s place of work.

    proves herself to be a hypocrite and a bullshitter time and time again, and contradicts herself morning noon and night, see tweets before of her calling girls who like footy match slags, then saying girls can’t like the footy without people calling them match slags. I mean……

    And last but not least Steph once referred to tattle as a ‘cesspit of humanity’ via a comment on Katie Hayes notorious ‘I am a trolling victim’ video then called us tatters ‘dusty ass bitches’ - hence us calling ourselves THE DABS ❤

    DABS: dusty ass bitches
    Cora: Steph’s daughter
    Paul/greaseball Paul: Steph’s ex husband/coras dad
    Ma cureton: jakes mum
    Nicky man head/NMH: Steph’s mate
    Heff/Jeff: Steph herself. Started as a typo but kind of stuck


    DAY 1
    Steph began her holiday vlogs disclosing she had found blood on her pillow. She was up and dressed for the gym early doors and was super excited for kids club to open. She found out the club didn’t open until a bit later and so decided to wait it out by the pool dressed in a gym kit and trainees.

    When it later transpired that you have to book kids club, stephs hart sank. She then encouraged Cora to go to sleep on a distant sunlounger, inches away from an unidentified man’s budgie smugglers, so that Steph could catch some rays.

    After receiving news that the TUI entertainment team only work six days a week meaning a second day of no kids club , Steph lost her shit. She left a hilarious review on trip advisor (screenshots below along with some questionable ones 🤣 courtesy of @Bonmarche 🤣🔥🔥)
    stating this was an issue because now whenever she wants to go the bar she has to take her daughter with her. She also described the blood as “massive stains of fresh blood” suggesting the blood is in fact her own as she has also stated there are lots of mosquitos and had squished her own blood out of them earlier. The hotel offered her a change of room however Steph declined this as she did not want to be too far away from the kids club.
    Later that day, Steph took a table to reception she said had blood on it and decided to accept the room change she was offered in the first place. Cora could be seen following on behind Steph as she recounted bloodgate.

    DAY 3
    Steph started the day in better spirits. She was thrilled that the kids club had finally reopened and was seen in her gym wear alone. Steph said she has received a message saying it was disgusting that she palmed Cora off at kids club because she hardly ever has her. DABs suspect this message was fictional and she has been reading tattle all morning. She pointed out that we only see a small portion of her day and that though it may appear as though she doesn’t want to spend any time with cora, that’s just the parts she shows us. The good parenting actually takes place off camera.
    Steph endeavoured to illustrate the point by uploading a couple of pictures of the side of coras head next to her while she straddled a flamingo. The room change took place and Steph has thus far not found any cause to complain but stay tuned. Steph also reasoned that a man wouldn’t be expected to take his daughter to the bar or toilet with him, so why should she.

    DAY 4
    Cora lashed in kids club early doors so Steph could go and argue with TUI over €70. Apparently the crime scene room cost extra coz it was by the kids club and Steph wants the €70 back immediately. TUI called her and it sounds like the person on the phone may have been a DAB and fobbed her off to an unsuspecting rep on site.
    Managed to squeeze in a spot of Xenophobia after lunch slagging off German people for being up at the crack of dawn reserving sun beds. An observation she made while she herself was up at the crack of dawn reserving sun beds having pulled a Kate & Gerry and leaving Cora to sleep in the room.
    Evening was spent broadcasting the mini disco and it’s small children attendees to her 101k followers with no ones consent.
    Fairly quiet day.

    DAY 5
    Steph had an early start having been up at 2am putting her towels on the sunbeds. Still embodying McCann energy she presumably left Cora (5) to sleep alone in the room again. When she came down she was shocked to discover her towels were in the pool and replaced with someone else’s. Livid at this obvious act of aggression by persons unknown, she took immediate action.
    Steph took the other people’s towels and lashed them out of sight. She then retrieved her towels from the pool and replaced them on the bed. Triumphant, she lay in wait for the “criminals” to return with full intentions of “gaslighting them to fuck” and telling them her towels had been there since 2am.
    The towel owners returned. They were German, she noted with a scowl, as they said “I don’t understand they were right here” in English with a German accent. Presumably they knew full well that Steph had removed them but did not want to confront her as she is clearly unhinged.

    Her victory story was later deleted, suggesting she’d realised that her towels had probably just blown off in the 7 hours between her putting them down and returning the following morning. To summarise this debacle, Steph got up at 2am to put her towels down and then hid some incident holiday makers towels on them because hers blew in the pool.

    DAY 6
    Today’s aggression was directed at the reception team as the battle of the €70 reconvened. Steph emerged victorious.
    Just one session of kids club for Cora today as it was a trip to see the turtles in a sanctuary this afternoon. Unfortunately Stephs research into this venture was minimal and when they got there it was closed. Steph then walked her 5 year old for an hour in the midday Canarian heat back to the town.
    Her hair turned pink and she wore a child’s butterfly hair clips to attend the evening festivities

    Steph also disclosed the reason she took the towel story down was because there is a very real possibility that the unknown Germans follow her on Instagram.

    Later that day, Steph was incandescent when Cora failed to receive a certificate from Kids club. She rectified the situation by fuming at them until a certificate was provided. Steph remarked she was “ready to throw hands”.

    A mix up on Steph’s part meant she was expecting a magic show which turned out to be a Michael Jackson tribute act. Steph made exaggerated bored gestures into her phone directly in front of the performers.
    DAY 7
    The day was spent reflecting on what a shit time she’d had and how she couldn’t wait to get home. She mentioned that someone (us?) had messaged her saying she shouldn’t be moaning but she had every right to moan because everyone’s experience is relative to their circumstances and it would be detrimental to her mental health not to moan. The final fume of the holiday was due to an hour delay on the plane coming home.
    Steph is now back in the U.K which draws the Chronicles of Fuerteventura to a conclusion.

    In more recent years Steph gave up her shop. She said this was because she was having another baby and could not be expected to attend work going forward. Tattlers assume it was more to do with the price of the shop.

    Steph recently welcomed a baby with her beau. Steph does not wish to disclose the name or gender of the child so out of respect for privacy I shall not reveal either here although it was broadcast all over beaus Facebook page and we all saw.



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