Introduction
What would it be like if you gave Hyacinth Bucket an Instagram account? Meet Lynsey Crombie (age 45).
Married on 16/10/15 to Rob Dunford, and they have a 14-year-old Jake.
She has twin daughters Olivia and Molly Crombie aged 19 to a previous marriage.
Lives in a 5 -bed new build in Hampton, Peterborough.
Tattle memes
Lynsey's Tattle following enjoy a good cackle at her tragic online exploits, and have come up with a few memes, catchphrases and theories that make us laugh and may or may not be based in reality:
- #pissgate Lynz loves the odd filmed foray into a public toilet, so she can show her followers how "filfy" she thinks it is, and how she can't possibly have a slash there due to her phobia of germs. Uncharitable Tattlers tend to see this as an excuse for her to shame service workers. First #pissgate was taken from the bathroom of Zizzi's when she was on a trip to London, which begs the question... how basic do you have to be to go to Zizzi's when you're in the middle of London?!
- 1st marriage. She does not name this man but to keep her in the news she is constantly talking about the marriage and how it ended. When she was 26 weeks pregnant with the twins he was arrested and charged with paedophilia causing her to go into early labour. She claims to have developed OCD after the event and this led her to TV work.
- Ads. Constant daily ads which are then repeated very nearly on the same day the next week. e.g. Swan frother machine (for that real "froffy froff"), towel rail/towels, silicon toilet cleaner. She will basically flog whoever pays her, no matter how tatty the tat. Led to the nickname "Lynsey QVC".
- Cleaning style. She got her start by using traditional products like lemons, vinegar and bicarb, but these days she's just as likely to suggest stranger products i.e. the usage of shaving foam to clean carpet stains. Deep down is probably under the impression she is the original IG cleaner and not Hinch, who she not-so-secretly detests.
- Clothes. She is constantly buying fashion and then throws carrier bags of clothes away when she commands her followers to de-clutter with her. Her obsession with instahun fav dressmaker Scamp & Dude hasn't yet led to her getting any freebies, but she still hasn't given up begging for them. Maybe they're upset at her spelling the brand name as "Scam and do" on her stories?
- Devil Dog the truly unfortunate-looking Hetty, Lynz's dog. Who may or may not be in league with Satan, but certainly looks the part.
- Headrest shot in order to flex on her peasant following, the queen is always sure to post a story from her first class train carriage whoever she’s in one. (We know this because she always just happens to have the headrest in shot.)
- If I'm honest wif you Lynz ends at least half of her sentences with this catchphrase
- Lemons and pink - Loves lemons and the colour pink.
- Misspellings and mispronunciations such as blowaz (blouse) trainners (trainers) draw (drawer), ganocki (gnocchi) and the legendary chorizio (chorizo)
- Pepto Palace Lynz's house, which she recently had renovated. Pepto because it has a lot of pink stuff in it. Inside the PP you'll find the Glitter Shitter (a bathroom with some unfortunate glittery wallpaper) and the Splinter Cupboard. Which is a storage cupboard with some kind of weird chipboard wall concept, loaded with freebie cleaning products and appliances, some in their boxes, shoved in any old how. Which would be fine, except Lynz loves to give out that she's some kind of home organisation expert - meaning the SC is very rarely put on the 'gram.
- OCD. Claims to have OCD which is why she was starring in Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners, but her IG posts prove otherwise.
- Rib Lynz's long-suffering other half, real name Rob, who gets filmed serving the queen drinks with a thousand-yard stare of total misery at least three times per week.
- Routines. As above, show, repeat next week. Often the video is recycled. eg stair Sunday cleaning.
- Secret pottymouth: based on one Tattler claiming to be her neighbour and complaining that la Lynz enjoys the odd industrial language laced screaming fit in her driveway. She's never sworn on stories but the thought of her every second off-camera word being fakk this and cant that makes us smile.
- Tipping: Lynz doesn't tip by default as she thinks a tip "should be earned". She revealed this on a trip to New York, where service workers need tips to earn a living wage. Luckily, germaphobe Lynz didn't figure out that everything she ate in that city was probably laced with spit as a result of this tight bastard philosophy!
- Wasteful. Is supposedly eco-friendly but is often laundering/dishwashing 1 item. Then when followers comment on this any subsequent post has a sarcastic tone.
Hashtags
Has daily hashtags:
- motivation Monday.
- toilet Tuesday.
- windows Wednesday.
- throw it Thursday. (Pronounced FROW IT FURSDAY obv.)
- fridge Friday.
- stair Saturday or those without stairs, shower Saturday.
- clean sheets Sunday
Ads
Swan - frother, pans, vacuum cleaner etc.
Has her own crap range which laughingly includes a vacuum cleaner.
Books
2022 - How To Clean Your House at Christmas.
2021 - Queen of Clean - The 15-Minute Clean: The quickest way to a sparkling home.
2020 - The Easy Life: Quick ways to clean and manage your home all year round (The Queen of Clean).
2019 - How To Clean Your House: Easy tips and tricks to keep your home clean and tidy up your life.
TV
Starred on Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners and is now a regular guest on This Morning and Good Morning Britain.
Back to her threads
