Emma Conway aka Brummymummyof2
is aged 44 and from Birmingham. She has a masters, a copy of which is proudly displayed on her bookshelf, and she will continually remind us of that fact at every opportunity. She gave up a Head of RE Department teaching job (in a department of one) to become a full time online influencer. Despite her position as Head of RE, it was only in 2022 that Emma was SHOOKETH to learn that not everyone celebrates Christmas. she also supposedly taught PSHE and taught sex education to classrooms full of teens, yet now can't say the word "sex" and giggles any time she says "willies".
Her USP is she is from Birmingham, a mother of 2 & in her own words “fat”. She is crass, crude, belittles her husband & son while fawning over herself & her daughter. Her manager still describes her as "The Tantrum Expert" - despite her children NOT being toddlers, although it is debatable as to whether it is a description of Emma and her expertise in throwing tantrums and mummy meltdowns.
A Guide to Emma's Supporting Cast;
PUS (Put Upon Ste)/ Kenny/ Dobby/Mickey/Longs/ "King of Roasts"/CBBCSte/Stedal Sassoon (for his role as Babs hairdresser)/Stevanova/Shark tooth (after a picture of him wearing a shark tooth necklace)-Stephen (her cardboard cut-out of a husband, who babs proudly reminds us she threatened into proposing to her) aka Steve here, as according to Babs he’s not a Steve.
Golden Child/ MY girl/ Triple Threat / Ezzy/Ez /Doodles - Erin her daughter
THE Boy - her son Ethan
Wet Sandra - her mother
Grandad Rog/Rog the Dodge - her father
Claire Wetton/Wet Claire - BAFTA award winning younger sister.
Btec Paul - her manager from Optimus Talent (also known as Optimistic Talent).
Miss D - her assistant (not heard of since summer 2020)
Lucy - the dog RIP
Margot - the new puppy
Pretzel and Churro - the golden girl's rats, grandchildren of babs.
Naz - ethan's pet hamster, named after "some youtuber" - said babs, a youtuber, scathing. RIP
Various tattle nicknames for Emma;
Babba the Hut
Babs Christian Anderson
Emma's followers are known as the Babettes, a lot of Tattlers are self confessed former Babettes who saw the light. Emma definitely wishes she'd thought of "Babettes" before we did.
Those very, very rare
occasions when a Tattler has to concede that Emma might be right/have a point.
Punctuation and Grammar;
Let’s not talk punctuation. You can expect a proliferation of full stops appearing randomly in her Instagram captions. It has been noted that she uses full stops as commas, which is not great especially for a former teacher. She also has a habit of suggesting she has created words and regularly asks “did I just make that word up?” and the answer is regularly no, though we recommend you are careful not to insult her intelligence and point this out. She also is extremely careless when she writes the captions on her Instagram stories, they often do not reflect what she has said nor make any actual sense. She does not understand that captions are for people hard of hearing or deaf. Her pronounciation of certain words is also questionable - "ama-ZON", "par-KET" "pain au choco-LATT" and "regarrrrrta", to name a few - and she insists on using "bought" and "brought" interchangeably. She also has a Masters, dontcha know…
Babs spotting in the wild
The Eurovision rehearsal for the second semi final spot claims top spot here, with top
@Nadurath really bringing home the bacon, so to speak. To relive the full experience, and see the photos jump to the original post: https://tattle.life/threads/brummy-mummy-139-babs-and-the-echo-chamber-of-secrets.39110/post-15107229
Emma's Top Phrases;
We all screamed (applicable to any situation)
"Niche" - used regularly to refer to things/situations which are not
Hot cock/Cock-in-a-tin/Diet cock
Sexy/sexual (anything except Stephen)
Her cracking rack (it’s not)
Werk (this is what she calls her ‘job’)
Private parts action (couldn't bring herself to say sex).
Chef's kiss! mwah!
When I tell you….
Does she ask herself questions and then answer them herself? Yes. Yes she does. Is it annoying? Yes. Yes it is.
Emma will advertise pretty much anything. There is a very noticeable cycle of; poll for engagement, pity me post, Ad and then repeat. The bigger the pity me post the more extravagant the incoming AD will be. She says liking and commenting on her ADs allow her to make polls. however it’s more likely that the engagement allow her to do ADs.
She pays herself a ‘meagre part time teacher’s wage’.
Tattle bingo! We call a "Tingo!!" whenever Emma does something as a response to things she has read on Tattle. For instance, we discuss how much she favours her daughter, Emma posts sappy, adoring post about her son, TINGO!! The ULTIMATE TINGO, that Tattlers await with baited breath, is evidence that she shares a bed with Stephen. We will ALL scream and be RABID!!
Emma's content is on a repetitive cycle of the following;
She loves a poll - a "pole" - but never ever shows the results. more recently, she has introduced a "winner's poll" to her annual rehashed Christmas polls where the winners of each arbitrary category ends up competing against each other - or roast potatoes vs Gary Barlow in a Christmas jumper or a Terry's chocolate orange vs Mariah's All I Want for Christmas. she has become increasingly more aggressive and rages in her stories at anyone who has the AUDACITY not to vote, even suggesting the babettes create multiple additional IG accounts so they can vote multiple times, because she is so desperate for engagement.
Emma cannot resist jumping on whatever bandwagon are popular at the time - especially if she can find a way to make it all about her, such as talking about the impact of "trollz" on her life moments after it was reported a celebrity had died by suicide - the predominant one being the body confidence bandwagon. She describes herself in her bio as "body confident", yet the supposed role model she is insists every single item of clothing she ever wears is a size 18 - despite that being impossible, because clothes are different sizes in different shops AND because she has recently piled on the pounds. But ofc, "body confident" Emma refuses to admit that she has gained weight, and poses in #ootd photos using very specific poses and angles so she appears slimmer - as evidenced once by her reflection in the mirror, revealing a double chin which had been purposefully concealed by demanding her husband stand on a chair to take her photo from ABOVE. She is also obsessed with declaring that "calories don't count on *insert specific event/occasion*" - highlighting her focus on calories, and even promoting calorie counting to her children with her "calories don't count" sign always included in her hot chocolate station. The literal epitome of body unconfident.
TWINNING WITH ERIN
Emma is obsessed with "twinning" with her ten year old "tween" daughter. She buys matching headbands from Claire's, they have marching pyjamas at Christmas and she announced recently that she now shares socks with her daughter.
Despite attempts to appear "woke", Emma has very foxed, outdated views on gender stereotypes. She repeatedly shares how "unique" her daughter is because she doesn't like the colour pink. Her son is a creative, imaginative little boy - or in her words "sensitive" - which blows her mind because MEN should be MANLY - she even bought ste a drill as an anniversary gift, to prove how manly he is. Her old-fashioned thinking was emphasised when she displayed the tubes of smarties she had bought for her kid's teachers at Christmas - pink for the female teachers, but blue for the male.
Emma makes no secret of the fact that Erin is her favourite child, constantly praising her whilst repeatedly complaining about, dismissing and eye rolling at her son.
Emma has an unhealthy obsession with Gary Barlow, 90s boy bands in general. She has a longing to return to the 90s pre marriage/children because that's when she was happiest.
Emma really really loves dressing gowns (also pyjamas). This is fortunate as she spends roughly 80-90% of her life wearing a dressing gown/pyjamas combo. The IC20 have long been concerned about how often these items are washed as she seems to wear the same ones for weeks.
Emma loves mugs EVEN MORE than she loves a dressing gown. she loves then so much she actually believes that "loving mugs" is a personality trait. The cupboard in their kitchen, known as the "mug storage of dreams", was a major contributing factor to the purchase of the tiny house.
EXPLOITING HER CHILDREN'S PRIVACY
Emma continually overshares every aspect of her children's lives, with absolutely no regard to their privacy. At one point it was raised that photos of Erin and Ethan were on porn sites, but instead of taking steps to protect them, Emma responded by sharing more photos of the kids in their swimware. She is so focused on generating content, and if that involves sharing photos of her children's bedrooms, sharing every - potentially embarrassing - detail of their private lives etc, she doesn't care as long as it ups her engagement! Emma has previously revealed that she's aware some of her children's school friends watch her vlogs, yet she seems unconcerned about revealing private information about her kids that could easily result in bullying.
TIRESOME ANNUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS
A full calendar year of Emma's content can be found in this excellent post
Turning the heating on.
Hanging the washing outside.
The seasonal changes to the hot chocolate "station" - a tiered tray, decorated with plastic tat, supposedly "for the kids" who. don't even LIKE hot chocolate.
Purchasing of tat decorations for every conceivable holiday.
Valentine's Day 'date' for the kids with aforementioned tat decorations and paper plates.
The first 'Cadbury's Creme Egg of the season', the earlier the better. She will hide it from husband and kids as her ''secret treat'.
The classic "it's hot!" starfishing, facedown on the bed, in just her massive M&S black knickers.
Every Halloween she trots out the ‘remember that time I bought pumpkins and they were too big for my jars’
Balloons in the kids rooms every birthday.
The countdown to her OWN birthday.
Christmas but not too Christmassy pyjamas.
A Christmas mug a day in advent (never lasts).
Yankee advent calendar presented to her by Ste, except she hates the green ones.
The label maker, which she whacks out on various occasions to label her transparent plastic boxes of plastic tat.
HER BRUMMIE ROOTS
For someone who has based their entire brand around the fact that they live in Birmingham, her content regularly contradicts her claims. Her user name includes the word "Brummy", whilst people who use the term spell it "Brummie" and she utilises Brummie colloquialisms to make a profit, by plastering them all over her mugs,using words such as "bab". Emma has repeatedly claimed that people from Brum use the term "mom", not "mum" - even designing an upcoming mother's day mug adorned with the word "mom", yet this is contradicted by Emma's failure to EVER use the word "mom" in her posts, story captions or even in comments on her own mother's posts - Emma’s mother and her kids use the terms "mom" or "mommy", but Emma is so focused on appearing relatable to her followers that she'll happily ditch her Brummie colloquialisms, whilst still maintaining that she uses them in order to line her pockets.
CONTENT RELATABLE TO TODDLER MUMS
Emma first started her blog when her kids were toddlers, so much of her audience are mothers of toddlers. However, her children are now aged 8 and 10, yet changing her USP is beyond Emma's creative capabilities, so she regularly forced toddler-hood onto her kids - claiming they argue constantly, to the point that they can't even do their school work in the same room - yet they can do online dance classes side by side with no problems - that they don't sleep well and often sleep in her bed - which she actively encourages, as a way to justify not sharing her bed with ste - and forces them to engage in toddler activities - like spending her daughter's tenth birthday on a Peter Rabbit walk. She has a reward box for the kids, filled with plastic tat and surprise bags, which are all aimed at kids far younger, which the kids are allowed to pick a treat from if they do "good sharing" etc. Emma has stated that she hated being a mum to toddlers, yet she's so desperate not to lose her target audience that she purposefully fabricated content that she believes will be relatable.
Her kids are also banished to their rooms at a stupidly early hour, mainly so Babs can have a bath, watch more TV and generally not parent them.
FOOD & DRINK
Cinnamon rolls - every Saturday morning her family have jusroll cinnamon rolls, (unless they're unavailable then she has pain au chocolat) - supposedly a "family tradition" which actually only started a year ago - which she "cooks" every Saturday morning, whilst ste is permitted to have a lie-in in the big bed, from which he uis usually banned. She prides herself on the fact that she revolutionarily cuts into four pieces instead of six, and is obviously angling for a brand deal with jus roll - possibly scuppered by the fact that she constantly claims they don't include enough icing and she has to add extra, along with a sprinkle of blueberry confetti - the only fruit they eat all week.
Beige food, with pea confetti.
Mainlines sugar. Takes family-sized sharing packs of biscuits to fuel her on a short walk, eats full sized Easter eggs as an 11am morning snack, and dedicates an entire suitcase to snacks any time she goes on holiday abroad, so she has a constant supply of chocolate biscuits, haribo and crisps.
Got a slow cooker for Christmas and has never used it (because she doesn't know how)
Much to Emma's obvious annoyance, her "sensitive" son is vegetarian, which she initially assumed was just a phase. He's stuck with it though, and Emma has been forced to stock the freezer with vegetarian beige foods. Despite her slow cooker, which still remains in the box, Emma has not experimented with cooking nutritious veggie meals, as she seems to be under the impression that vegetarians eat vegetables, full stop - which in Ethan's case is sadly limi to frozen peas. It has been speculated that she's specifically feeding him only fishless fingers and veggie nuggets so that he will develop vitamin deficiencies, and be forced back into eating meat, making Emma’s life a whole lot easier. Ethan has apparently made it clear he doesn't want to consume gelatine - refusing haribo type sweets - yet Emma tricked her son into eating pop tarts, which aren't suitable for vegetarians.
'Calories don't count' for our Babs, she loves to tell the babettes... Especially at t Christmas, on birthdays, during a pandemic, on Valentine's Day, Mother's Day. On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, oh and not on Sundays either.
Birthday cake - with pictures for the gram - for breakfast. Then it’s left out all day for the birthday tea party.
Period cake - each month she makes Ste buy her a cake to deal with her hormones.
Stephen's weekly roast deserves a mention. Emma once declared Ste the "King of Roasts". Emma has clearly had some truly awful roast dinners if she thinks Ste's is good. Dry chicken, cubed (not even roast) potatos, instant mash, and a sprinkling of peas. If they are feeling fancy- mixed veg!! Emma eats hers without gravy.
Flora tub - this gets shown multiple times a year as she likes to show the state of it.
Shitwater sandals (aka saltwater sandals).
Middle skirts and hightop converse to cut off the blood supply
Jumpsuits that make her look like she's wearing a baby grow and her nappy needs changing.
Head bands in every colour, twinned with ’my girl’ obvs
Belts to accentuate her illusive waist for every occasion, positioned carefully under the (not so) cracking rack
The infamous 10 year old swimming costume
PJs (wear for at least 5 weeks)
Seasonal dressing gowns, I mean how many dressing gowns does anyone need?
Saggy pleather leggings
A comb over
Adding a belt (not on the waist, under the boobs) to EVERY. SINGLE. OUTFIT.
Her children are often having sleepovers in her bed, usually more so her daughter, this is preferred. Her children play "Bed Olympics" Emma's sick choice of term to describe something more like musical beds where the four of them all switch beds during a night of poor sleep.
RETRO KODAK MOMENTS ON ROTATION
Wedding - standing on her first OWNED doorstep
Matt Goss - PUS mooning around in the background
Gary Barlow - scrunched up nose standard
Fancy dress outfits from Reflex - so the babettes witness the fitness of Babs pre kiddos obvs
Age 17, wearing wooden choker of dreams, yet to kiss a boy.
Collecting her degree - see above but tighter top
This morning with holly and Phil
Glossary of Tattle references;
THE WETWIPE WASH
The beloved Kween confessed to keeping herself clean by using a wet wipe. That’s right folks she has a “prostitute shower” instead of a real one & calls it a life hack. She confessed this on the Scummy Mummy podcast featuring Louise Pentland
THE D.V. "JOKES".
In her New Years resolutions, Emma "joked" about trying not to "smash Ste's face in" if he wasn't doing his duties satisfactorily. She was backed into issuing an apology - yet despite the "apology", there are still multiple stoies in her highlights on IG which reference her desire to "smash Steve's face in" - and was featured in the Daily Mail.The sole time she featured in the media that she DOESN'T rehash on an annual basis.
Not technically a "reference", but someone asks at least once a thread. No one knows what happened, but it is evident they are no longer friends. If you watch old YouTube videos, its not hard to see why that might be, especially when Emma tells Louise to stop talking about her dead mum.
Emma has claimed for years that while she recovered from spinal surgery, her husband changed her tampons for her. This was recently changed to "passed her the tampons" when a similar story was shared on Chris and Rosie Ramsey's podcast and they said it was grim.
Lead many a former Babette over to Tattle. The most epic of all time has to be DLP after fajitagate. When Babs released an ad featuring herself & Ste wrapped in manky blankies eating Old El Paso fajitas of a Friday evening. However she was actually en route to DLP! She proceeded to breakdown on the hotel bathroom floor
, this was the moment the IC20 was coined (the insanely clever 20 women who pointed out her lies)
At the time of her DLP bathroom meltdown, Emma claimed that she was being targetted by 20 insanely clever women determined to ruin her. She declared that these insanely clever women "won"- they still await their prizes- and that they were stopping her being a nice mum! We never discovered exactly who the Emma considered to be the "Big 20", but we were dead chuffed, and we became the IC20, a motley crew of folks with a mutual talent for sniffing out Emma's bullshit. We also number far more than 20.
THE D.M.C INCIDENT
Ever desperate to attract attention from actress Daisy May Cooper, Emma concocted a story about spilling sanitiser on a shop floor, her kids were ashamed. As DMC failed to respond it got more far fetched, Emma got called out, then Deleted
Posing in her new jumper and puffer coat Emma tagged the crap out of Matalan, who shared it on their page. Along with many complaints about people not getting their orders, Matalans choice to feature Emma was questioned due to her previous DV "jokes" and the fact that she wears pyjamas 90% of her life. Sister Claire went in on this one to defend Emma's DV "jokes" claiming it was once, years ago, and had been apologised for. It was not once. It was last year. Matalan have quietly Deleted
Emma's overpriced tat mugs, that she doesn't design, market, package or actually have anything to do with. Price is frequently queried and Emma always explains through gritted teeth why they cost so much. She makes about £1.90 a mug according to her. The £1 from the sale that she donates, is covered by the £1 price increase when she started doing the donations to Birmingham Childrens Hospital. Emma claims on her website that she designed the mugs - or at least, paid an illustrator to design the mugs - specifically because she wanted a big mug, that she had designed herself, to drink her morning cuppa from. However, the only time Emma’s mugs feature are in poor quality ads she has. filmed to encourage sales - she never drinks out of the mugs herself, presumably because, despite what she claims, they are not upto Rae Dunn standards. Instead, she stores the leftovers - of which there are many - in boxes, labeled with her label maker ofc.
There’s a whole chunk of her Christmas of her Tenth wedding anniversary that she can’t remember, this included Christmas time I believe? it was then Ste found her fully clothed in the shower, this was the first epic meltdown a few years back that made her protect herself from online trolls. By getting her assistant to do social media replies?
MANAGEMENT APPRENTICE PAUL/BTEC PAUL
This is the student/man who represents Emma. Seen in a few photos he’s only about 13. You may find him in tattle.
Having been dispatched on a non essential trip to buy instant mash, Ste fell off his bike!! The bike landed in the canal, Ste cut his knee. He had to go to A&E for steristrips!! Emma, who alleges to be very private about serious health issues ie her Covid test
, kept her followers up to date with regular bulletins on Ste's progress...
THE STATIONERY COMPETITION
When she runs a competition, we presume there are winners but who knows? Emma ran a competition to win a planner. Although the company says the prizes were sent, Emma never actually announced a winner. She was reported to the ASA who found she had broken the rules and got her wrist slapped. If you spot the winner announcement please let us know, as we’re still waiting for the last one to materialise. (See thread #56 & 57 for details).
HOPE THAT HELPS
The standard response from Emma when she is resenting having to explain herself- no one should be allowed to question or in any way hold Kween Bab of Brum accountable. Used by Tattlers to mock her.
Poor Erin had a condition affecting her neck which required an operation. Emma insisted on calling it "Le Wonk", we are unsure why she didn't just name the condition or shut up about it. Emma declared she would be "a bit quiet" when Erin had her op. Because she is very private about serious health issues, ie her Covid test, she only posted pictures of Erin in hospital, Erin in her neck brace, Erin doing physio...
THE POLICE FILES
Emma keeps files on people she believes are trolling her by questioning the extortionate cost of her mugs4mugs. She cross references and regularly updates her police files. This caused some alarm amongst the IC20 on 2/2/2021. We all made our preparations. Those of us who weren't immediately captured planned to go on the run, convening at a Top Secret model village location- a nod to Emma's love of tiny houses. Manky blankies, dressing gowns, fajita kits and mugs were packed and ready for us to flee. But nothing happened.
HOT COCK/COCK/DIET COCK/COCK IN A TIN
No, Emma does not have penis on the brain- she is a self confessed prude. This what Emma claims her and her friends call hot chocolate, coca cola, diet coke and cocktails. This probably means that one person said it one time, they all SCREAMED, and 20 years later Emma is the only one who still thinks it is funny. Interesting she never actually SAYS "cock" only writes it on her poorly done story captions
A self care video Emma did for Aldi that got all sorts of negative attention. One man asked "Is that a kebab tattoo?" Another lady was in desperate need for some fancy dates but the conversation about how Emma is such a terrible human overshadowed her date needs.
SHOWER SEAT TANTRUM
While on work trip with her children and husband in London, Emma was thrilled and screamed with excitement that there was a seat in her shower, she thought it was so fancy. Some of her followers informed her that this shower seat was likely there to aid people with disabilities when taking a shower. Emma swiftly sent Stephen to reception to query the comments and the receptionist allegedly informed him that all the disabled rooms were on the ground floor, which Emma then took that to mean that her shower seat had no function for disabled people, its only purpose for existing was to make Emma feel fancy.
Our Kween had an epic meltdown after being called a double bagger, of course she milked this for all it’s worth & evidence can be found here:
During the hot summer of 2020, we were treated to a video of Emma cooling down. This involved sitting with her legs open and an electric fan between them. We all needed eye bleach and speculated it might be the most action her foof has had in a while.
Emma's terrible poetry book called "Will I ever pee alone again?" - unsurprisingly, it is specifically aimed at "mums", not "mom's".
THE BRIGHTON UNDERWEAR SCANDAL
On the Conway's second holiday of 2020- to the place some Tattlers suspect Stephen really calls "home"- Emma made a big to do about her excellent packing skills. She sorted the families clothes into outfits for each day of their holiday and announced she always takes a few extra sets of "just incase" underwear. Despite this meticulous preparation, Emma still ended up washing her not-so-smalls in the bathroom of the Airbnb, leaving them drying over the side of the bath. The Airbnb had a washing machine.
DIVIDE AND CONQUER
A tactic frequently employed by the Conway's to deal with their children. Erin and Ethan apparently "always fight" and frequently need separating to maintain harmony. So utterly have the Conway's failed to teach their children to get along, the "divide and conquer" technique also applies on holiday, and was never more apparent than on the aforementioned Brighton holiday. The entire family were in bed by 8pm, Erin and Emma in one room, Ethan and Stephen in another.
They have applied the divide and conquer rule to an entire holiday. Emma, Wet SAN and Triple Threat went to Disneyland Paris, PUS and ’the boy’ went to Alton Towers. Even though she claims they are huge disney fans, given the choice ’the boy’ would rather go to CBeebies land at Alton Towers.
WHERE DOES PUS SLEEP
We have never seen that Stephen/Pus and Emma sleep in the same marital bed together. Emma definitely sleeps there as she graces us with 'Stories from the pit' most mornings, however Stephen never seems to be around. It is presumed that he sleeps else where, the sofa, the sofa bed in the attic, curled up in the Smeg, on the extra mattress on Ethan's floor, his shoe cupboard, gaps between furniture, the shed, or his secret boyfriend's flat somewhere in town.
THE TALE OF THE
CADBURY'S CRIME EGG aka BABURY CRIME EGG
When Emma nipped out to rectify some "weird substitutions" she had recieved in her online shop, she bought 2 Creme Eggs for £1!! During a lengthy conversation the cashier, who Emma was super excited to chat with, complimented Emma on what a great mum/mom she is! Then she told Emma to sit and eat one of the eggs in the car as a treat, and just have 10 mins to herself for all the sacrifices she is making right now. She also suggested Emma hide the other egg for another time! Touched by this sage advice from someone who clearly had no idea that Emma is, well, Emma, and that she has approximately 10 hours a day to herself and treats herself constantly, Emma promptly posted this (probably fictional conversation to FB and insta). A Facebook comment referred to the choclatey treat as a "crime" egg. The IC20 went wild, all screamed, and it stuck!!
In her eternal quest to "entertain" the babettes, Emma decided to go out in her garden, in the rain and do a little dance. Her song of choice? Lewis Capaldi's "Before You Go". Apparently this has been Stephen's "anthem" this past year! Several people commented that it seemed rather insensitive to be dancing around like a gurning moron to a song well known to be about suicide. Early Sunday morning Emma, claiming that the comment(s) were left "in the middle of the night" deleted the dance post. She proceeded to apologise and offered the excuse that she and Ste thought it was a love song, but it's actually about "something sad that happened in LC's family (the word "suicide" was a bit much for her to actually say)! Ste has been singing it to her as a love song! Because we all want our husbands to croon "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you" to us... Babs had yet another opportunity to raise awareness and encourage people to talk about their struggles, but instead she contributed to the taboo and stigma by refusing to use the word "suicide", and then, after suggestions from tatters, proceeded to share a helpline because "some of you aren't as lucky as me and can't afford a private therapist', and went on to imply that she totally understands the tragic impact suicide had on people's lives, because she attended a few therapy sessions when she was" glfeeling a bit down ".
Joanie Clothing (who have previously gifted Emma items) shared her post featuring her in one of their tops. Due to negative comments regarding their choice to feature Emma in light of her DV "jokes", Joanie removed the post from their insta and FB pages within 24 hours.
In further evidence that the BrummyMummy brand is becoming toxic, following an #ad Emma did on her own grid for Crusha (featuring Erin), Crusha shared the post to their own SM pages. Crusha were hot on the delete button as the negative comments regarding DV and also Capaldigate began. However, the comments built up overnight and Crusha removed the post from their insta and FB within 24 hours.
THE TU SAGA.
Emma was sent some seamless underwear from Tu to try out. She posted 3 photos of herself, working the angles and poses for all she was worth. However her efforts weren't quite enough to disguise the fact that the bra very clearly did not fit. As we all know, you're not supposed to be bulging out the sides of a bra! Tu proceeded to feature this post on their Instagram page, garnering a mix of comments. Some were praising Emma as a "real woman" (many replied to these comments suggesting that this body shames less curvaceous women), many questioned why the top didn't fit Emma properly (and were directed at Tu rather than Emma herself), and inevitably, because the DV "jokes" and Capaldigate now follow Emma like a bad smell, some commented to question Tu's decision to use her at all. Tu dealt with the situation appallingly by systematically deleting every single negative comment and blocking many of the people who came back to question the deletion of their comments. At time of writing, the post remains on Tu's insta page.
In a simple video about pin trading in Disney parks, Emma shows that with 'one simple trick' you can change Primark, 6 for £3 pins into ones that can be traded in the park with staff for ones which usually retail for £5 each. The metal clip backs can be replaced with rubber ones you can buy in the park and save yourself lots of money! In reality, this isn't actually allowed and almost crosses the line into fraud. One helpful soul, who was just a Tattle lurker at the time, informed her of her mistake. Needless to say, Emma didn't take kindly to that.
The Tattler in question posted screenshots of Emma's reply, after which Emma deleted the comment and went on a story barrage calling the person a "Bad Egg" and claiming she wasn't kind.
Emma's actions drove more people to Tattle when she later mentioned that it was posted on the site, to which many new saw her true colours.
In recent weeks, starting July 2021, Babs announced she was taking Sundays off. This was quickly named the Babbath. So far she’s kept off the ’gram (but not all social media) and appears to be werking and either filming more crap #ads or more crap reels.
Emma's new nickname for the IC20- perhaps because she has realised there are significantly more than 20 of us!? "Cowbags 4eva" as stuck-in-the-90s Emma would say.
KIDS NO LONGER TODDLERS
Tattlers were shooketh when Babs announced that the kids AREN'T toddlers any more!! However, if we thought she was in a content spiral before, it's going to get worse as Emma tries to work out "what she likes".
THE VEETEE AD
Possibly Emma's worst ad to date. In an effort to advertise Veetees fluffy microwave rice, Emma hung the packets on the washingline along with her (also fluffy) dressing gown collection. People were confused. Then the naive folks at Veetee shared the dreadful ad, which garnered not ONE positive comment, and then removed it in what may be record time!!!
THE ICELAND TRIP
Having drummed up lots of engagement by keeping the (obvious) location of her holiday secret, while simultaneously begging the Babettes for advice on what to wear on a "cold holiday", Babs arrived in Iceland WOEFULLY unprepared! She took a supermarket coat for herself that didn't even do up, light weight coats for the kids, Ethans hat blew away about 30 minutes into the holiday and was never replaced. Having arrived in the middle of a storm the Conways eschewed sight seeing in favour of sitting in their hotel room eating sweets and going to bed at 8pm. Tattlers in Iceland at the same time reported that if you actually had the right gear, going out was OK! Having declared several times that it was FINE, Emma proceeded to hate every second of the holiday and yet again made an amazing location look utterly crap, largely staying in the hotel and eating beige food (because of the kids). On the last day the content gods smiled upon her and they went on their tour. Having bought walking boots especially for the purpose Babs didn't bother with the actual hiking, BUT she did get the all important Blue Lagoon picture and teamed it up with the predictable "body confident" caption. After that they may as well have gone straight home, instead they got pizza. Again. Fortunately an adoring Babette was on the same return flight as Emma and passed a postcard down the plane to her, telling her how great she is!
THE BIRMINGHAM UNI "HACKER" DEBACLE
Emma was asked to give a zoom talk to staff, students, and alumni of Birmingham University for IWD. Several Tattlers, as alumni, watched the car crash that ensued. Dressed in her Butlins blazer, Emma ummed ahhed her way through a waffling talk that had little or nothing to do with the IWD theme of "Breaking the Bias", but had everything to do with taking about herself. When asked two perfectly legitimate questions in the chat regarding her family and how she (totally doesnt) protect their privacy online and some of her content choices, Emma immediately demanded that the people be removed and the chat disabled or she would leave! She came away from the event shaken and feeling a "bit sick" at being legitimately challenged. Publicly. On International Women's Day! She then proceeded to cause a wave of panic over on Facebook by claiming the event had been HACKED. Never fear though, she decided she'd handled it like a BOSS, if "like a boss" means a "petulant foot stamping child", and rallied to attend an In The Style event that evening where she looked like everyone's mum! The next day we all had to remind each other that it was, in fact, Wednesday as the Grellow One did not appear until early evening. She came back with a fairly measured "woe is me" post having definitely been told to tone it down by Btec Paul and a sort of apology on Facebook for causing the Babettes to be worried due to her poor choice of words...
Emma was RABID with excitement to be invited by "actual Disney" to attend the premiere of the new Buzz Lightyear film (3 days before the event, as a seat filler). She got content out of getting the babettes to help her decide what to wear, she dressed her husband in a mismatched suit/shirt/shoes combo, she took the FAST train to London... all of her (alleged) childhood dreams were coming true. On arrival at the event it became very, very clear that the +1 ticket she asked for should definitely have been used to take one of her children, not her gormless husband. The tattle posts calling her out for not taking Ethan, the child with the Toy Story themed bedroom and very obvious choice started coming thick and fast! By the following day, the dream had come crashing down and a cleary rattled Babs took to her stories to claim she had NO IDEA children would be allowed at the premiere of a children's film... that if she'd had 4 tickets it would have been fine... but also that she'd never take the children out of school early to attend... Having tripped herself up more than Boris Johnson in the infamous "go to work, but stay at home, but go to work" speech, Emma finally declared she could never choose between her children (despite much evidence of there being many occasions where she has done exactly that) and that "you don't know my heart, you don't know my soul". She claimed that the same names kept cropping up, criticising her (hey Emma
, it's us
, you see our comments because you actively seek them out on here), however tattler detectives have determined there were literally 2 comments asking how come she didn't take her kids...
WDW "MUMMY MELTDOWN"
A mysterious happening on the Conways most recent trip to their "home". Having already stated it was "different" with older kids more interested in rides than cutesy photo ops, in the midst of the usual lacklustre trip Emma took to instagram to announce that she had had a "mummy meltdown" as her family had "fast walked away from her". Cowbags initially didn't think much of this- we all know shes a stoppy brat. But then,
both Conway adults seemed in need of some time to themselves and took it in turn to be ill.. there was also a very suspicious "vibe" to the rest of the holiday...
THE "GIRLS TRIP" TO COPENHAGEN AND THE HALF TERM THAT FOLLOWED.
As has been mentioned more times than any cowbag can count, Emma has an obvious bias towards her daughter. To make this extra clear this October (2023) half term, as "her Ezzie" has an extra week off to "the boy"she decided to take Erin to Copenhagen for a few days. She's at secondary school now and Bab doesnt see her as much (also, god forbid she hang out with her friends in half term!). Bab got plenty of content mileage out of being The Only Adult on the trip, making her responsible for her own suitcase!! She also endlessly mentioned the Copenhagen card, but in true Emma style, didnt' really explain anything! Erin thought the Tivoli Gardens superior to Disney (we awaited a small explosion from Bab, but although shooketh, she weathered that storm) and having refused to wear a coat Ezzie was treated to a new hoody as, shockingly, Denmark is cold in October. They spent their evenings absorbing the beauty and culture of the... JOKE, they were in the hotel room by 8pm watching Gilmore Girls and mainlining Haribo!! Upon their return home with a freebie football for Ethan the intrepid travelllers were welcomed with sweets, cards, and flowers. Cowbags awaited the delights that Ethan would experience on his half term the following week. These turned out to include a trip with his mum for her cervical screening and not much else! The outright criticism on Tattle also became thinly veiled criticism from the babettes many of whom asserred they could not do this with their own kids and asked what trip Ethan would be getting. Bab has assured us all that he is getting "a football trip" in 2024. Will Babs eyes roll out of her head having to pretend to show interest? Will Erin be left at home to have quality time with her dad?
Emma's new fave game "is it perimenopause?" is going strong over on Instagram. Every syptom and penomenon experienced by the Grellow Kween of Brum must be perimenopause, right?? Maybe, but significantly improving her diet, activity and dealing with the mould in her house might also help...? Emma definitely thought she had a content/engagement spinner when she first announced she was entering this stage of her life. Of course she'd underestimated the complexity and emotiveness of the subject and now just trots it out for a bit of engagement here and there. Interesting Emma was diagnosed and put on HRT super quickly and many a cowbag questions how a woman in perimenopause manages to wear thick pj's, bed socks, AND hunker down under a manky blanket all year round... not that we would suggest she lies because, WHY WOULD SHE LIE!!??
The lies Emma Conway tells (part 1)
So on 17 January this year she had finally learnt the word ‘no’ after years of saying ‘yes’. Today (11/09/2023) she is going to start saying ‘yes’ after spending all her life saying ‘no’.
Emma's most pervasive lie of all is that everything she wears is a size 18. every item of clothing she wears is absolutely, definitely a size 18. WHY WOULD SHE LIE?! she even aggressively stated that her body is "THE LAST INTERESTING THING ABOUT Me" and demanded that the babettes send her compliments about everything except her body - yet continues to remind the babettes at every opportunity that she is a size 18 IN EVERYTHING.
Emma doesn't have a favourite child. why would she lie? WE DON'T KNOW HER HEART. (to clarify, she aPsolutely DOES have a favourite child)
An ex boyfriend once told her that when she wears her hair tied up, it made her head look "fat" vs an ex boyfriend once told her that when she wears her hair down, her head looks "fat". the story changes depending on the day.
Emma alternates between claims that she spent her twenties downing bottles of reef and dancing on bars and claims that she was a shy, wallflower who spent her time trying it disappear into the background. she spent her whole life wearing all black clothes, because she wanted to blend in - she didn't wear colour until she turned 40, when she become the HER-est HER that ever HER-ed and began dressing like an overgrown toddler/kid's TV presenter, yet the endless photos of Emmas as a teen and in her twenties highlight that she rarely wore black.
Endless fabricated stories claiming that every time she steps outside her front door, she receives numerous compliments in her frock/her hair/her clown make-up - even to the point that she receives hand-written notes of adoration from fans who conceal their identity, passed along the aisles of the plane when she's flying abroad.
Emma never drinks alcohol. Ever. Despite the endless photos of her with sugary cocks in her hand, or her announcing that she is drinking her third Baileys hot cock of the day - at 11am.
Emma is desperate to give the impression that her emotionless, expressionless cardboard cut-out of a husband, who communicates only through grunts, has a WILD personality - endless fabricated tales about him skipping and squealing, with chants of "you GO, girl!" as he bursts into renditions of S Club 7 songs as he frolics around the house. he once paid £2.50 for a mince pie. he can eat 6 sausages in one sitting. he wears shorts during winter. he is totally CrAzY!