You're a burglar, but instead of stealing, you do things to mildly inconvenience your victims.

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Mess up the cushions.
Move the cutlery into the wrong setting in the tray.
Leave crumbs all over the work surface and floor.
 
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Super glue their locks

Hide their car keys

Turn their fridge off

Leave their milk out

Shit in their toilet and not flush
 
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Lie in their bed and eat toast so they have to sleep in breadcrumbs
And leave toast crumbs in the butter tub

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~Wrap everything in tin foil.
~Unscrew the lightbulbs.
~Take all the doors off the hinges.
~Draw police body outlines on the floor.
~Leave elf on the shelf dolls everywhere. Especially if it’s July.
~Put the Christmas tree and Halloween decorations up.
~Leave post it notes on all their furniture or clothing with questions like
“Really!?” “Was this from a skip?”
Or “I came to rob your ass and even I don’t want this”
 
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Leave fish heads behind the radiator.
Remove fuses from plugs.
Hide remote control somewhere obscure like the garden shed.
Hide phone chargers too.
 
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Leave a glow in the dark picture of Chris Ingham on the ceiling above the master bed
 
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Tell people there's going to be a party there so they get several people knocking on their door one day.
Mess up the ends of any sellotape.
Put the toilet seat up.
 
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Take all the labels off the tin cans. What’s for tea tonight? Is it soup? Or mushy peas?
 
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