Thank to @Nate's Top Button
You have my favorite name of anyone on Tattle. Does your name come with a RSVLTS shirt, an obnoxious dalmatian and a sad apartment?
We're gonna ride like one ride, eat a table full of food all by ourselves, get tit-faced drunk and try to pretend I'm not full of myself because I think I'm a celebrity.
Anyhoos, let's go do this!
tit. I'm reduced to writing about Nate because Will and Dawn did a whole lotta nuthin. Even lazier. I didn't think it was possible either. If Will gets any lazier or fatter, Texas Roadhouse is going to list him as a dependent.
Please forgive me, gentle reader, if I skip over some of...ahem..."highlights". The past few weeks have been so uninteresting and vapid this will be like describing static on a TV screen. I've blocked a lot of it out.
Back in The Smokies, Ryan AIOT is putting out current and informative YouTube content. His channel has already earned over 60,000 subscribers and growing fast. How does Will combat this? Does he buckle down in The Smokies and work harder? What? Are you new? Of course not! Will packed three Columbia shirts, hopped into the 300 and hit the road. Then he backed up when he realized he forgot Dawn still at the kitchen table playing Jabberjaw puzzles. I made that part up. She says and does surprisingly little in this series of videos even by Dawn's simple standards.
4,000 miles. That's what he put on his car. About a million miles of monotony is what he put on YouTube.
Every video is an intro, some landmark, walk a couple blocks, eat, done. In between is Will trying to fill time. Like a fourth grader trying to fake his way through an unfinished oral book report, Will searches for what to say. Long pauses. Fumbling. Trailing off. It's worse than ever. Ryan is planning his month. Will can't plan his next word.
It's time to sail away to where "the elites" play! Monaco? Dubai? Tahiti? No! Michigan!
According to Will "the elites" stay on Mackinac Island at The Grand Hotel. If your ideal of elite is Bea Arthur or Betty White, then you have come to the right place! If Smuckers rented rooms, it would look like this.
The Grand Hotel is apparently famous from the Christopher Reeve film "Somewhere in Time". Which, of course, is the movie Christopher Reeve is most famous for. Growing up I had the "Somewhere in Time" action figures, bed sheets, lunch box, and comic books. Kids beat the tit out of me for it. But I had them.
The next morning, Will and Dawn gorged themselves on the usual breakfast for four. An elegant breakfast restaurant with severs in white coats and no banjo music. Right there on the table was something almost shocking to Will. He'd never seen anything like it before and had no idea what to do with it. No. Not the rambutan fruit. I'm talking about the cloth napkin.
Then it was time to rent bikes and test the strength of the tire rims. After pedaling maybe a quarter of a mile it was time for a reward of ice cream! Pedal again. Stop for fudge. Pedal. Stop again. Will and Dawn are the only people who gain weight riding a bicycle.
After seeing the island where senior centers go on day trips, it was time for something less. A lot less. White Fish Point. Yeah, I don't know either. Some more boats and lock bullshit. And the inspiration for the Gordon Lightfoot classic "The Reck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" And you know what? I think Will said "Fitzgerald" correctly once. Progress! I always thought it was weird to write a song about something that killed people. Don't worry, Will. Nobody is going to write a song about cholesterol.
There are moments in YITS history that are so iconic, they don't need me to do anything. They stand on their own like Will saying pelinsula and callously recording Dawn struggling with stairs. There's no punchline here. He's just a dick.
Will says that his dad drove his family on vacations to upper Michigan. I didn't know Will was this abused as a child. He should have called CPS. I'm falling asleep just thinking about it. Will padded videos with miles of roads, bridges, lakes and small town crap. I don't which sucked more: these towns or Will's crappy editing. If I'm about to die. I'm going to play these Michigan videos. It'll last forever.
Then we got to watch them cross the border and into Ottawa, Canada! Home of that famous Canadian influence. Will showed us statues of who knows? I'm sure the plaques are right there. He can't even be bothered to read. That's our job. At least one of us has a job.
I swear half of the Ottawa video was the The Changing of the Guard. For some reason (and that reason is Will is lazy), we got to see minutes of The Band of the Ceremonial Guard. The ceremony happens at 10 a.m. I can't believe it. YITS actually made it to something on time.
For Will, the highlight has to be the poutine. Not a highlight of the trip. I mean his life. Oh my god. He was absolutely orgasmic, fawning over the cheese curds and gravy like a long, lost lover. He loved the poutine so much, the Dolly Parton statue got jealous.
Next YITS went to Paris...er...I mean Montreal. Sorry. Will says Montreal reminds him of the Paris "vibes". He's quite the poet, isn't he? A wordsmith. He took us to the site of the 1976 Montreal Olympics where he showed us a swimming pool! Will pointed out a mural of Bruce Jenner, no mention of what Jenner did at The Olympics or recently. Dawn bought a bracelet. I think. It was so tight on her fat wrist, it might have been a tourniquet. Then they mispronounced the name of the restaurant where they ate and didn't know what they ordered. So no difference there. Now that Will and Dawn left, Montreal is going to build a wall and making Tennessee pay for it.
Will and Dawn drove into Vermont, the home of Ethan Allen. Whoever that is. History buff Will was more interested in Ben & Jerry and Wendy's and Arthur Teacher's even Grimace for that matter.
Thankfully, YITS spared us a screen door factory and went to Build-A-Bear. Will mentions how one of the bears is based on 'Gaucho' Marx. Had Will's viewers been alive, they would have corrected him.
Dawn wrapped the arms of a giant teddy bear around her. Doesn't feel like Will though. The bear wears a smaller sized shirt. Also, the bear is made out of less fabric than Will's shirt. The bear is full stuffing. Will is full of tit.
What is Will's deal with bleeping backroads? Aren't you're boring enough on the highway?
At The Cady Hill Lodge, Will and Dawn played South Park pinball. Exactly like good Christians would.
The Ski and Snowboard Museum was...closed. That's our Will. Lucky for us, the General Store was open. They sell all the crap that you could send away for in the back of comic books. Be Sure to Drink Your Ovaltine.
"If these floors could talk.." Yeah. They'd say, "Get off me, fatty! I'm a hundred years old!"
Will references PBS and "This Old House". Dawn has no clue. She does know Sesame Street, however. Brought to you today by the letters C....U....N....T. I'm sorry. I apologize for insulting vaginas. I should not compare them to Dawn. Vaginas aren't useless. Which reminds me, we saw yet another covered bridge.
Will loved the "hike" to a waterfall. It was a quarter of a mile! That's not a hike. That's barely a walk. Will says it was a humid day. When you sweat standing still, every day is humid.
Will took us through more covered bridges. If you like them, that's great. To me it's a shed with a road through it. Will showed us some old, one-room school houses which Will will somehow spin into him getting a doctorate degree. These places seem very nice but without context, they're just pictures.
I didn't know that part of The Appalachians stretched into New Hampshire. Those must be some classy mountain folk. YITS fans from New Hampshire are called Hill-Williams.
During a livestream, Will and Dawn mentioned they got locked inside a cemetery in Salem, Massachusetts. Why? What were they doing inside of a cemetery? I thought they weren't doing meetups anymore? So nice of YITS to visit some of their youngest viewers. One of the headstones asked about Chris and Mindy.
Will is looking into getting an RV because they want to prepare their own meals. He says it's hard to find healthy food on the road. Yeah. Especially when you are not looking for them. Right, Will. Because given the choice, you're not going to choose McTofu.
Why didn't Will and Dawn just go camping? Weren't they going to go camping this year? They spent like $1000 on camping equipment and haven't used it. Just like Will's shower.
Will got food poisoning. He ate that oh, so delicious cheap hotel free breakfast sausage. Food poisoning. Why do we always fight with the ones we love? Why would food poison Will? Doesn't food know? If it kills Will food will be unemployed. Don't worry, food. Your job is safe for maybe seven more years.
2023 has been expensive for YITS. They are still talking big: Hawaii, Italy, Scotland, a cruise, Disney for Christmas. Can YITS afford to travel to any of those places? He doesn't want to get into the fines and logics of it all, but does Will lie? I mean other than all the time.
It doesn't matter where Will and Dawn go. It won't be interesting. Videos will be like a training bra: plain and padded.
We've got more road trip to go. I imagine that they just going to be more of the obvious, low-effort slog we've trudged through on this road trip. Because it's apparent Will has gotten lazier, it's easy to miss that Dawn barely talks these days. With the exception of maybe a dead-eyed "that's amazing", she's pretty checked out. Nothing about the flavor or how it tastes. I don't know if she's resigned, struggling or dreaming of "Jabberjaw". She's kinda bitchy blocking people on the livestream. Both of them are little short with viewers who ask questions. Will and Dawn are bored. That's old news. With apathy has come irritation.
Will doesn't want to cover the Smokies. He doesn't want to learn anything about the new places he travels. He doesn't want entertain or inform. He just wants to do whatever he wants and for you to shut up and like it. Numbers for this latest trip have been down. I think Will and Dawn fans are starting to catch on. They're used to crappy videos but Will and Dawn are supposed to be their friends who love The Smokies the way they do. Not only have YITS insulted The Smokies, they have insulted them. Bragging about trips and camping and plans and buying RVs. Regardless of whether YITS can afford it, it's still insulting. Do you think YITS viewers care about Ottawa let alone can find it on a map? Will is out of touch with his viewers and what they want. He's had it so good for seven years he thinks he can just record slop and throw it in the YouTube trough for his hogs. He's not going to change. The plans for the fall, winter and into next year prove it. Is he stupid? Is he selfish? Is he egotistical? All three?
The channel is no longer your friends Will and Dawn show you The Smokies. It's become Will and Dawn brag about travel rub your face in it. We'll see how long this will last before YITS stans look to see if Adventure is Out There.
You have my favorite name of anyone on Tattle. Does your name come with a RSVLTS shirt, an obnoxious dalmatian and a sad apartment?
We're gonna ride like one ride, eat a table full of food all by ourselves, get tit-faced drunk and try to pretend I'm not full of myself because I think I'm a celebrity.
Anyhoos, let's go do this!
tit. I'm reduced to writing about Nate because Will and Dawn did a whole lotta nuthin. Even lazier. I didn't think it was possible either. If Will gets any lazier or fatter, Texas Roadhouse is going to list him as a dependent.
Please forgive me, gentle reader, if I skip over some of...ahem..."highlights". The past few weeks have been so uninteresting and vapid this will be like describing static on a TV screen. I've blocked a lot of it out.
Back in The Smokies, Ryan AIOT is putting out current and informative YouTube content. His channel has already earned over 60,000 subscribers and growing fast. How does Will combat this? Does he buckle down in The Smokies and work harder? What? Are you new? Of course not! Will packed three Columbia shirts, hopped into the 300 and hit the road. Then he backed up when he realized he forgot Dawn still at the kitchen table playing Jabberjaw puzzles. I made that part up. She says and does surprisingly little in this series of videos even by Dawn's simple standards.
4,000 miles. That's what he put on his car. About a million miles of monotony is what he put on YouTube.
Every video is an intro, some landmark, walk a couple blocks, eat, done. In between is Will trying to fill time. Like a fourth grader trying to fake his way through an unfinished oral book report, Will searches for what to say. Long pauses. Fumbling. Trailing off. It's worse than ever. Ryan is planning his month. Will can't plan his next word.
It's time to sail away to where "the elites" play! Monaco? Dubai? Tahiti? No! Michigan!
According to Will "the elites" stay on Mackinac Island at The Grand Hotel. If your ideal of elite is Bea Arthur or Betty White, then you have come to the right place! If Smuckers rented rooms, it would look like this.
The Grand Hotel is apparently famous from the Christopher Reeve film "Somewhere in Time". Which, of course, is the movie Christopher Reeve is most famous for. Growing up I had the "Somewhere in Time" action figures, bed sheets, lunch box, and comic books. Kids beat the tit out of me for it. But I had them.
The next morning, Will and Dawn gorged themselves on the usual breakfast for four. An elegant breakfast restaurant with severs in white coats and no banjo music. Right there on the table was something almost shocking to Will. He'd never seen anything like it before and had no idea what to do with it. No. Not the rambutan fruit. I'm talking about the cloth napkin.
Then it was time to rent bikes and test the strength of the tire rims. After pedaling maybe a quarter of a mile it was time for a reward of ice cream! Pedal again. Stop for fudge. Pedal. Stop again. Will and Dawn are the only people who gain weight riding a bicycle.
After seeing the island where senior centers go on day trips, it was time for something less. A lot less. White Fish Point. Yeah, I don't know either. Some more boats and lock bullshit. And the inspiration for the Gordon Lightfoot classic "The Reck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" And you know what? I think Will said "Fitzgerald" correctly once. Progress! I always thought it was weird to write a song about something that killed people. Don't worry, Will. Nobody is going to write a song about cholesterol.
There are moments in YITS history that are so iconic, they don't need me to do anything. They stand on their own like Will saying pelinsula and callously recording Dawn struggling with stairs. There's no punchline here. He's just a dick.
Will says that his dad drove his family on vacations to upper Michigan. I didn't know Will was this abused as a child. He should have called CPS. I'm falling asleep just thinking about it. Will padded videos with miles of roads, bridges, lakes and small town crap. I don't which sucked more: these towns or Will's crappy editing. If I'm about to die. I'm going to play these Michigan videos. It'll last forever.
Then we got to watch them cross the border and into Ottawa, Canada! Home of that famous Canadian influence. Will showed us statues of who knows? I'm sure the plaques are right there. He can't even be bothered to read. That's our job. At least one of us has a job.
I swear half of the Ottawa video was the The Changing of the Guard. For some reason (and that reason is Will is lazy), we got to see minutes of The Band of the Ceremonial Guard. The ceremony happens at 10 a.m. I can't believe it. YITS actually made it to something on time.
For Will, the highlight has to be the poutine. Not a highlight of the trip. I mean his life. Oh my god. He was absolutely orgasmic, fawning over the cheese curds and gravy like a long, lost lover. He loved the poutine so much, the Dolly Parton statue got jealous.
Next YITS went to Paris...er...I mean Montreal. Sorry. Will says Montreal reminds him of the Paris "vibes". He's quite the poet, isn't he? A wordsmith. He took us to the site of the 1976 Montreal Olympics where he showed us a swimming pool! Will pointed out a mural of Bruce Jenner, no mention of what Jenner did at The Olympics or recently. Dawn bought a bracelet. I think. It was so tight on her fat wrist, it might have been a tourniquet. Then they mispronounced the name of the restaurant where they ate and didn't know what they ordered. So no difference there. Now that Will and Dawn left, Montreal is going to build a wall and making Tennessee pay for it.
Will and Dawn drove into Vermont, the home of Ethan Allen. Whoever that is. History buff Will was more interested in Ben & Jerry and Wendy's and Arthur Teacher's even Grimace for that matter.
Thankfully, YITS spared us a screen door factory and went to Build-A-Bear. Will mentions how one of the bears is based on 'Gaucho' Marx. Had Will's viewers been alive, they would have corrected him.
Dawn wrapped the arms of a giant teddy bear around her. Doesn't feel like Will though. The bear wears a smaller sized shirt. Also, the bear is made out of less fabric than Will's shirt. The bear is full stuffing. Will is full of tit.
What is Will's deal with bleeping backroads? Aren't you're boring enough on the highway?
At The Cady Hill Lodge, Will and Dawn played South Park pinball. Exactly like good Christians would.
The Ski and Snowboard Museum was...closed. That's our Will. Lucky for us, the General Store was open. They sell all the crap that you could send away for in the back of comic books. Be Sure to Drink Your Ovaltine.
"If these floors could talk.." Yeah. They'd say, "Get off me, fatty! I'm a hundred years old!"
Will references PBS and "This Old House". Dawn has no clue. She does know Sesame Street, however. Brought to you today by the letters C....U....N....T. I'm sorry. I apologize for insulting vaginas. I should not compare them to Dawn. Vaginas aren't useless. Which reminds me, we saw yet another covered bridge.
Will loved the "hike" to a waterfall. It was a quarter of a mile! That's not a hike. That's barely a walk. Will says it was a humid day. When you sweat standing still, every day is humid.
Will took us through more covered bridges. If you like them, that's great. To me it's a shed with a road through it. Will showed us some old, one-room school houses which Will will somehow spin into him getting a doctorate degree. These places seem very nice but without context, they're just pictures.
I didn't know that part of The Appalachians stretched into New Hampshire. Those must be some classy mountain folk. YITS fans from New Hampshire are called Hill-Williams.
During a livestream, Will and Dawn mentioned they got locked inside a cemetery in Salem, Massachusetts. Why? What were they doing inside of a cemetery? I thought they weren't doing meetups anymore? So nice of YITS to visit some of their youngest viewers. One of the headstones asked about Chris and Mindy.
Will is looking into getting an RV because they want to prepare their own meals. He says it's hard to find healthy food on the road. Yeah. Especially when you are not looking for them. Right, Will. Because given the choice, you're not going to choose McTofu.
Why didn't Will and Dawn just go camping? Weren't they going to go camping this year? They spent like $1000 on camping equipment and haven't used it. Just like Will's shower.
Will got food poisoning. He ate that oh, so delicious cheap hotel free breakfast sausage. Food poisoning. Why do we always fight with the ones we love? Why would food poison Will? Doesn't food know? If it kills Will food will be unemployed. Don't worry, food. Your job is safe for maybe seven more years.
2023 has been expensive for YITS. They are still talking big: Hawaii, Italy, Scotland, a cruise, Disney for Christmas. Can YITS afford to travel to any of those places? He doesn't want to get into the fines and logics of it all, but does Will lie? I mean other than all the time.
It doesn't matter where Will and Dawn go. It won't be interesting. Videos will be like a training bra: plain and padded.
We've got more road trip to go. I imagine that they just going to be more of the obvious, low-effort slog we've trudged through on this road trip. Because it's apparent Will has gotten lazier, it's easy to miss that Dawn barely talks these days. With the exception of maybe a dead-eyed "that's amazing", she's pretty checked out. Nothing about the flavor or how it tastes. I don't know if she's resigned, struggling or dreaming of "Jabberjaw". She's kinda bitchy blocking people on the livestream. Both of them are little short with viewers who ask questions. Will and Dawn are bored. That's old news. With apathy has come irritation.
Will doesn't want to cover the Smokies. He doesn't want to learn anything about the new places he travels. He doesn't want entertain or inform. He just wants to do whatever he wants and for you to shut up and like it. Numbers for this latest trip have been down. I think Will and Dawn fans are starting to catch on. They're used to crappy videos but Will and Dawn are supposed to be their friends who love The Smokies the way they do. Not only have YITS insulted The Smokies, they have insulted them. Bragging about trips and camping and plans and buying RVs. Regardless of whether YITS can afford it, it's still insulting. Do you think YITS viewers care about Ottawa let alone can find it on a map? Will is out of touch with his viewers and what they want. He's had it so good for seven years he thinks he can just record slop and throw it in the YouTube trough for his hogs. He's not going to change. The plans for the fall, winter and into next year prove it. Is he stupid? Is he selfish? Is he egotistical? All three?
The channel is no longer your friends Will and Dawn show you The Smokies. It's become Will and Dawn brag about travel rub your face in it. We'll see how long this will last before YITS stans look to see if Adventure is Out There.
Last edited:
I cannot stand the close ups of his mouth and his fat tongue . FRE always makes my skin crawl with their edits
. All he has to do is go hang out at Bucee's and hope for another accident.