Work & ex husband

[Bogwoppit]

Need some advice really, I split with my husband last month, my choice number of things, we work together, he has his own business & I’ve worked there on & off for a few yrs, the problem I have is he is currently seeing an employee who also works there & it’s so uncomfortable, I have a feeling the relationship started way before we split up!

It’s taking me all my time not to have an outburst at work, I hear them laughing & joking, I don’t have anyone to talk to in or out of work really. I’m so bloody lonely, his excuse is I broke it off with him so he doesn’t see the problem but I see it as he has zero respect for me in the workplace. It wouldn’t bother me at all if we didn’t have to work together & left their personal life outside the workplace.

 

[GLC]

Agree to be furloughed in the grounds that he has to top up the difference out of his own money.

 

[BettyCrocker]

I’ve applied for jobs but no luck so far, unfortunately me & the employee do the same hours & they can’t be changed, he asked if I want to be furloughed but I would lose money I need for our kids, I suggested she was furloughed but he said no chance.

I dread everyday I have to go to work it’s affecting my mental health & most days I just come home & cry.

Go to the doctor. Get signed off on sick leave due to your mental health being effected. Look for a new job while you are on such leave.
He has a legal obligation to pay for his kids so seek legal advice from citizens advice in that.

 

[Greencatfysh]

Main thing is - if he’s treating you with that much disrespect and has already moved on (does his marriage mean 0 to him? Surely you will now have to go through a divorce?!) then you are better off without him. That’s seriously scummy.

Can you look for a new job? Appreciate not the best of times

 

[Bogwoppit]

If there’s enough work for the two of you, I’m sorry but why should she be furloughed (losing some of her pay, the company losing a worker) for your personal situation if it’s not needed?

I’m sorry, I know it’s a horrible position for you to be in, but that’s not what the furlough scheme is there for!

Does your company have an HR department? Do you have a union? Could you contact ACAS?

There isn’t much work to go round, she was meant to be furloughed last week but cried to him that she couldn’t afford to live being furloughed, I was there way before her (she has been there 8 months) why should I feel uncomfortable in a business I partially own?

I’ve been asked to sign a contract now as well & instead of a salary I’m paid hourly, he wants me out of the business, because according to him I’m not part of it anymore!

 

[Milliehaha123]

Need some advice really, I split with my husband last month, my choice number of things, we work together, he has his own business & I’ve worked there on & off for a few yrs, the problem I have is he is currently seeing an employee who also works there & it’s so uncomfortable, I have a feeling the relationship started way before we split up!

It’s taking me all my time not to have an outburst at work, I hear them laughing & joking, I don’t have anyone to talk to in or out of work really. I’m so bloody lonely, his excuse is I broke it off with him so he doesn’t see the problem but I see it as he has zero respect for me in the workplace. It wouldn’t bother me at all if we didn’t have to work together & left their personal life outside the workplace.

Can you leave?
This would drive anyone insane, regardless of whether it was your choice or not! Plus it's just not healthy to be around at such a soon time.
I'd either be looking for a new job or be having an adult one on one chat with him explaining how it's making you feel - is there any chance your shifts could be swapped around so that you didn't have to be around the both of them?
Starting a new job will also introduce you to new people and therefore new friends/people to talk to. Sounds like you're a bit trapped at the moment and could be a perfect time for a new start x

 

[Rocknrolla]

He’s the thick one, zero hour contracts; demotion, hourly pay? He’s basically taking food out of his children’s mouth, don’t let him walk all over you or or children like that x

 

[Bogwoppit]

Is she not embarrassed or is she being a fool flattered by the bosses attention?

They are both fools, she is a lot younger than him it’s the boss & employee cliche but they flirted at work in front of me before we even split up & he has admitted to that, part of me wants to smash their faces in but I know I’m better than that!

He can’t demote you for that reason. If he’s not careful he’ll have an expensive divorce on his hands and an employment tribunal. definitely seek legal advice from CAB as soon as you can

I’ve made a free appointment with a solicitor to see where I stand, I will take this further if I have to, in some ways I feel bullied & singled out plus completely embarrassed that I’ve been demoted like this.

 

[Latala]

Don’t sign anything
Get some legal advice & as hard as it is right now not to lose your head, make damn sure you keep your dignity at work! By all means break your heart when you walk out at night but whilst there you must be the bigger person. Good luck x

 

[Bogwoppit]

I’ve applied for jobs but no luck so far, unfortunately me & the employee do the same hours & they can’t be changed, he asked if I want to be furloughed but I would lose money I need for our kids, I suggested she was furloughed but he said no chance.

I dread everyday I have to go to work it’s affecting my mental health & most days I just come home & cry.

 

[Greencatfysh]

He can’t demote you for that reason. If he’s not careful he’ll have an expensive divorce on his hands and an employment tribunal. definitely seek legal advice from CAB as soon as you can

Technically I’m still his wife, I’ve ripped the contract up, another family member works there & they swan in as & when they choose but still get a salary & don’t have to use a time sheet, I’ve been ‘demoted’ for no reason other than we have split up



I’ve started messing about at work, taking more breaks, more so that I don’t have to listen to them laughing & joking together, his solution was I wore earphones so don’t hear them!

 

[Rocknrolla]

Husband or not he can not just demote you for that reason, please seek legal/employment advice and go to town on his sorry arse!

 

[Rocknrolla]

There isn’t much work to go round, she was meant to be furloughed last week but cried to him that she couldn’t afford to live being furloughed, I was there way before her (she has been there 8 months) why should I feel uncomfortable in a business I partially own?

I’ve been asked to sign a contract now as well & instead of a salary I’m paid hourly, he wants me out of the business, because according to him I’m not part of it anymore!

Can you get some legal advice ASAP

 

[Bogwoppit]

Unfortunately I can’t work from home otherwise I would so could be with my kids, that’s an idea to get him to top up my furlough, it’s the least he can do x

 

[Magee]

Please don’t sign any contracts! When you communicate with him about HR issues, follow it up with an email or do it by email. Keep a record of EVERYTHING. Seek free legal advice then fuck him over. Bide your time. I’d instruct child support agency too and get an agreement that he will pay for them.

 

[laughing]

Sounds like he is doing more to wind you up.

Don't let your standards slip because of him.

Hold your head up, do your work correctly and don't let yourself down.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Please don't sign anything. Can you get legal advice? It sounds as though he's winding you up because he's hoping that if he does so, you'll have enough and will just leave.

 

[BettyCrocker]

Can you get some legal advice ASAP

Agree with this. You need proper legal advice. Don’t sign a damn thing!!!!! Get legal advice ASAP.

 

[Elsass]

I’ve applied for jobs but no luck so far, unfortunately me & the employee do the same hours & they can’t be changed, he asked if I want to be furloughed but I would lose money I need for our kids, I suggested she was furloughed but he said no chance.

I dread everyday I have to go to work it’s affecting my mental health & most days I just come home & cry.

If there’s enough work for the two of you, I’m sorry but why should she be furloughed (losing some of her pay, the company losing a worker) for your personal situation if it’s not needed?

I’m sorry, I know it’s a horrible position for you to be in, but that’s not what the furlough scheme is there for!

Does your company have an HR department? Do you have a union? Could you contact ACAS?

 

[Blue1989]

Need some advice really, I split with my husband last month, my choice number of things, we work together, he has his own business & I’ve worked there on & off for a few yrs, the problem I have is he is currently seeing an employee who also works there & it’s so uncomfortable, I have a feeling the relationship started way before we split up!

It’s taking me all my time not to have an outburst at work, I hear them laughing & joking, I don’t have anyone to talk to in or out of work really. I’m so bloody lonely, his excuse is I broke it off with him so he doesn’t see the problem but I see it as he has zero respect for me in the workplace. It wouldn’t bother me at all if we didn’t have to work together & left their personal life outside the workplace.

Yeah that's way too fast to be seeing someone. I would be inclined to agree, something must have been happening before the split. I'm sorry