Work & ex husband

[Bogwoppit]

Need some advice really, I split with my husband last month, my choice number of things, we work together, he has his own business & I’ve worked there on & off for a few yrs, the problem I have is he is currently seeing an employee who also works there & it’s so uncomfortable, I have a feeling the relationship started way before we split up!

It’s taking me all my time not to have an outburst at work, I hear them laughing & joking, I don’t have anyone to talk to in or out of work really. I’m so bloody lonely, his excuse is I broke it off with him so he doesn’t see the problem but I see it as he has zero respect for me in the workplace. It wouldn’t bother me at all if we didn’t have to work together & left their personal life outside the workplace.

 

[Greencatfysh]

Main thing is - if he’s treating you with that much disrespect and has already moved on (does his marriage mean 0 to him? Surely you will now have to go through a divorce?!) then you are better off without him. That’s seriously scummy.

Can you look for a new job? Appreciate not the best of times

 

[Milliehaha123]

Need some advice really, I split with my husband last month, my choice number of things, we work together, he has his own business & I’ve worked there on & off for a few yrs, the problem I have is he is currently seeing an employee who also works there & it’s so uncomfortable, I have a feeling the relationship started way before we split up!

It’s taking me all my time not to have an outburst at work, I hear them laughing & joking, I don’t have anyone to talk to in or out of work really. I’m so bloody lonely, his excuse is I broke it off with him so he doesn’t see the problem but I see it as he has zero respect for me in the workplace. It wouldn’t bother me at all if we didn’t have to work together & left their personal life outside the workplace.

Can you leave?
This would drive anyone insane, regardless of whether it was your choice or not! Plus it's just not healthy to be around at such a soon time.
I'd either be looking for a new job or be having an adult one on one chat with him explaining how it's making you feel - is there any chance your shifts could be swapped around so that you didn't have to be around the both of them?
Starting a new job will also introduce you to new people and therefore new friends/people to talk to. Sounds like you're a bit trapped at the moment and could be a perfect time for a new start x

 

[Bogwoppit]

I’ve applied for jobs but no luck so far, unfortunately me & the employee do the same hours & they can’t be changed, he asked if I want to be furloughed but I would lose money I need for our kids, I suggested she was furloughed but he said no chance.

I dread everyday I have to go to work it’s affecting my mental health & most days I just come home & cry.

 

[Helpmeout]

I’ve applied for jobs but no luck so far, unfortunately me & the employee do the same hours & they can’t be changed, he asked if I want to be furloughed but I would lose money I need for our kids, I suggested she was furloughed but he said no chance.

I dread everyday I have to go to work it’s affecting my mental health & most days I just come home & cry.

Oh no, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this tit. What an insensitive bleep he sounds! And as a woman you’d think the other one would have the decency not to flaunt it in your face. I have no other advice for you unfortunately, the only way seems to be to keep applying for jobs and leave as soon as you can. Things will get better soon, they always do

 

[Blue1989]

Need some advice really, I split with my husband last month, my choice number of things, we work together, he has his own business & I’ve worked there on & off for a few yrs, the problem I have is he is currently seeing an employee who also works there & it’s so uncomfortable, I have a feeling the relationship started way before we split up!

It’s taking me all my time not to have an outburst at work, I hear them laughing & joking, I don’t have anyone to talk to in or out of work really. I’m so bloody lonely, his excuse is I broke it off with him so he doesn’t see the problem but I see it as he has zero respect for me in the workplace. It wouldn’t bother me at all if we didn’t have to work together & left their personal life outside the workplace.

Yeah that's way too fast to be seeing someone. I would be inclined to agree, something must have been happening before the split. I'm sorry

 

[PinkJen099]

Is there a choice for you to work from home?
Can’t imagine how hard that would be!

 

[GLC]

Agree to be furloughed in the grounds that he has to top up the difference out of his own money.

 

[Bogwoppit]

Unfortunately I can’t work from home otherwise I would so could be with my kids, that’s an idea to get him to top up my furlough, it’s the least he can do x

 

[WilmaHun]

I'm so sorry to hear this! He seems like he's being really insensitive. The fact he said he could furlough you but no chance of furloughing her, that's awful!
I think the best you can do is carry on looking for other work, and in the meantime ask if you can be furloughed on full pay. He's paying you 100% of your wages now so it's not like the business can't afford it! I hope you find a resolution soon

 

[BettyCrocker]

I’ve applied for jobs but no luck so far, unfortunately me & the employee do the same hours & they can’t be changed, he asked if I want to be furloughed but I would lose money I need for our kids, I suggested she was furloughed but he said no chance.

I dread everyday I have to go to work it’s affecting my mental health & most days I just come home & cry.

Go to the doctor. Get signed off on sick leave due to your mental health being effected. Look for a new job while you are on such leave.
He has a legal obligation to pay for his kids so seek legal advice from citizens advice in that.

 

[Kim Mild]

Can you work from home?

It is a horrible situation. I bet it affects the quality of your work .

 

[Alexaj]

I don't think I have any advice. It's a mit situation. It sounds like there's definitely been a relationship with the employee before your split (whether consummated or not). He obviously feels that because you technically dumped him it's a free pass for moving on guilt free. But it's completely reasonable to feel bad about him moving on suspiciously quickly and flaunting it in the workplace! I'm not sure I would 'trust' him to top up your furlough tbh, you don't want to be out of a job with little money coming in but in the background I would be looking for other employment.

 

[Babysnark]

I agree with PP about potentially getting signed off for mental health reasons - how long do you get full sick pay for? (it's 6 months in the NHS but I know it will be a lot less for small businesses). I'm sorry you're having to go through this agree as well he should be paying you for his kids!!

 

[Elsass]

I’ve applied for jobs but no luck so far, unfortunately me & the employee do the same hours & they can’t be changed, he asked if I want to be furloughed but I would lose money I need for our kids, I suggested she was furloughed but he said no chance.

I dread everyday I have to go to work it’s affecting my mental health & most days I just come home & cry.

If there’s enough work for the two of you, I’m sorry but why should she be furloughed (losing some of her pay, the company losing a worker) for your personal situation if it’s not needed?

I’m sorry, I know it’s a horrible position for you to be in, but that’s not what the furlough scheme is there for!

Does your company have an HR department? Do you have a union? Could you contact ACAS?

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Can you potentially speak with him and ask to be put on ''Flexi Fulough''... I currently work 3 days a week but I am on full time pay, the government pay so much and my work pay so much. I know not ideal at all but least you wouldn't be in there as much as what you are, or like someone else mentioned furlough where you aren't going into work at all and get him to top it up so its full time pay. You could always go out on sick leave but you won't get the full amount of what you are currently on. I know it is a nightmare for jobs right now, I lost my Job last March due to Covid and only managed to get another job doing what I do in November so I know how hard it can be. I promise though, things will get better. You are so much better off without your ex, he is being a insensitive wick xx

 

[Bogwoppit]

If there’s enough work for the two of you, I’m sorry but why should she be furloughed (losing some of her pay, the company losing a worker) for your personal situation if it’s not needed?

I’m sorry, I know it’s a horrible position for you to be in, but that’s not what the furlough scheme is there for!

Does your company have an HR department? Do you have a union? Could you contact ACAS?

There isn’t much work to go round, she was meant to be furloughed last week but cried to him that she couldn’t afford to live being furloughed, I was there way before her (she has been there 8 months) why should I feel uncomfortable in a business I partially own?

I’ve been asked to sign a contract now as well & instead of a salary I’m paid hourly, he wants me out of the business, because according to him I’m not part of it anymore!

 

[Rocknrolla]

There isn’t much work to go round, she was meant to be furloughed last week but cried to him that she couldn’t afford to live being furloughed, I was there way before her (she has been there 8 months) why should I feel uncomfortable in a business I partially own?

I’ve been asked to sign a contract now as well & instead of a salary I’m paid hourly, he wants me out of the business, because according to him I’m not part of it anymore!

Can you get some legal advice ASAP

 

[BettyCrocker]

Can you get some legal advice ASAP

Agree with this. You need proper legal advice. Don’t sign a damn thing!!!!! Get legal advice ASAP.

 

[Kim Mild]

There isn’t much work to go round, she was meant to be furloughed last week but cried to him that she couldn’t afford to live being furloughed, I was there way before her (she has been there 8 months) why should I feel uncomfortable in a business I partially own?

I’ve been asked to sign a contract now as well & instead of a salary I’m paid hourly, he wants me out of the business, because according to him I’m not part of it anymore!

If it was me in your situation. I would be behaving like a right little madam . I'd probably be cancelling their work or something.