Work & ex husband

[Milliehaha123]

I work in the business & have done for about 5yrs so I’ve put my part into it, I live in our home with our kids, he lives with his mum, he seems to think because we aren’t together anymore ie separated he isn’t committing adultery but we are still married, he wants me to sign my part of the business over to him & he will sign the house over to me, I’m not stupid I want what belongs to our kids & again he thinks he can make me sign a zero hour contract, put me on a time sheet & hourly wage instead of a salary because we are separated, he thinks I’m thick.

God he sounds like an absolute cunt Get legal advice, don’t sign a thing and let him know you’ll be taking it further. Who the hell does he think he is

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Keep a diary of EVERYTHING. And try not to act on the way you are being treated. He cannot just force you out or demote you. Make sure you take the same salary/wage home. If he starts messing you about to much at work tell him you will take legal action if he keeps it up.
You need to play the long game here because once the divorce proceedings start you will be entitled to part of the business as well and if you contributed to the business ie working there etc your stake will probably be bigger than if you were just a stay at home mum.
Make sure you go out and find a really really good divorce solicitor and do it now! Being as he was the main provider you can stick him with your solicitor costs as well

 

[Babysnark]

I agree with PP about potentially getting signed off for mental health reasons - how long do you get full sick pay for? (it's 6 months in the NHS but I know it will be a lot less for small businesses). I'm sorry you're having to go through this agree as well he should be paying you for his kids!!

 

[Kim Mild]

There isn’t much work to go round, she was meant to be furloughed last week but cried to him that she couldn’t afford to live being furloughed, I was there way before her (she has been there 8 months) why should I feel uncomfortable in a business I partially own?

I’ve been asked to sign a contract now as well & instead of a salary I’m paid hourly, he wants me out of the business, because according to him I’m not part of it anymore!

If it was me in your situation. I would be behaving like a right little madam . I'd probably be cancelling their work or something.

 

[Helpmeout]

I’ve applied for jobs but no luck so far, unfortunately me & the employee do the same hours & they can’t be changed, he asked if I want to be furloughed but I would lose money I need for our kids, I suggested she was furloughed but he said no chance.

I dread everyday I have to go to work it’s affecting my mental health & most days I just come home & cry.

Oh no, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this shit. What an insensitive cunt he sounds! And as a woman you’d think the other one would have the decency not to flaunt it in your face. I have no other advice for you unfortunately, the only way seems to be to keep applying for jobs and leave as soon as you can. Things will get better soon, they always do

 

[WilmaHun]

I work in the business & have done for about 5yrs so I’ve put my part into it, I live in our home with our kids, he lives with his mum, he seems to think because we aren’t together anymore ie separated he isn’t committing adultery but we are still married, he wants me to sign my part of the business over to him & he will sign the house over to me, I’m not stupid I want what belongs to our kids & again he thinks he can make me sign a zero hour contract, put me on a time sheet & hourly wage instead of a salary because we are separated, he thinks I’m thick.

I work in family law and you could petition on the basis of adultery because as you say, you're still married! I really hope you get some sound legal advice and find a way out of this. I feel for you, it sounds a horrendous situation to be in. But hold your head high, at least you know you're not the one who has behaved in an appalling manner. I also think the way he has gone about demoting you is all wrong, legal advice is also required for that too!

 

[WilmaHun]

I'm so sorry to hear this! He seems like he's being really insensitive. The fact he said he could furlough you but no chance of furloughing her, that's awful!
I think the best you can do is carry on looking for other work, and in the meantime ask if you can be furloughed on full pay. He's paying you 100% of your wages now so it's not like the business can't afford it! I hope you find a resolution soon

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Is she not embarrassed or is she being a fool flattered by the bosses attention?

 

[Alexaj]

I don't think I have any advice. It's a sh*t situation. It sounds like there's definitely been a relationship with the employee before your split (whether consummated or not). He obviously feels that because you technically dumped him it's a free pass for moving on guilt free. But it's completely reasonable to feel bad about him moving on suspiciously quickly and flaunting it in the workplace! I'm not sure I would 'trust' him to top up your furlough tbh, you don't want to be out of a job with little money coming in but in the background I would be looking for other employment.

 

[Bogwoppit]

Agree with this. You need proper legal advice. Don’t sign a damn thing!!!!! Get legal advice ASAP.

Technically I’m still his wife, I’ve ripped the contract up, another family member works there & they swan in as & when they choose but still get a salary & don’t have to use a time sheet, I’ve been ‘demoted’ for no reason other than we have split up

If it was me in your situation. I would be behaving like a right little madam . I'd probably be cancelling their work or something.

I’ve started messing about at work, taking more breaks, more so that I don’t have to listen to them laughing & joking together, his solution was I wore earphones so don’t hear them!

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Can you potentially speak with him and ask to be put on ''Flexi Fulough''... I currently work 3 days a week but I am on full time pay, the government pay so much and my work pay so much. I know not ideal at all but least you wouldn't be in there as much as what you are, or like someone else mentioned furlough where you aren't going into work at all and get him to top it up so its full time pay. You could always go out on sick leave but you won't get the full amount of what you are currently on. I know it is a nightmare for jobs right now, I lost my Job last March due to Covid and only managed to get another job doing what I do in November so I know how hard it can be. I promise though, things will get better. You are so much better off without your ex, he is being a insensitive prick xx

 

[Titntat]

Go to the doctor. Get signed off on sick leave due to your mental health being effected. Look for a new job while you are on such leave.
He has a legal obligation to pay for his kids so seek legal advice from citizens advice in that.

Most companies only offer SSP which is absolutely appalling. She would be better off on fourlough

 

[ClockworkDolly]

Need some advice really, I split with my husband last month, my choice number of things, we work together, he has his own business & I’ve worked there on & off for a few yrs, the problem I have is he is currently seeing an employee who also works there & it’s so uncomfortable, I have a feeling the relationship started way before we split up!

It’s taking me all my time not to have an outburst at work, I hear them laughing & joking, I don’t have anyone to talk to in or out of work really. I’m so bloody lonely, his excuse is I broke it off with him so he doesn’t see the problem but I see it as he has zero respect for me in the workplace. It wouldn’t bother me at all if we didn’t have to work together & left their personal life outside the workplace.

Oh crikey what a situation to be in.

You are hearing them talking and laughing and they are most likely laying it on a bit thick for your benefit, knowing that you can hear them.

Do you have shares in his business? I hope that you do as that will give you more leverage.

I would be inclined to seek legal advice as to what your next step might be.

 

[Bogwoppit]

Are you involved in the business at all aside from being an employee there? Did you put any money into it?

you need to get proper legal advice. Ignore whatever shit he’s telling you. Get legal advice regarding work and legal advice regarding the separation/money/child support etc. Where are you both living? Do you own a home together? What about money/bank accounts etc?

I work in the business & have done for about 5yrs so I’ve put my part into it, I live in our home with our kids, he lives with his mum, he seems to think because we aren’t together anymore ie separated he isn’t committing adultery but we are still married, he wants me to sign my part of the business over to him & he will sign the house over to me, I’m not stupid I want what belongs to our kids & again he thinks he can make me sign a zero hour contract, put me on a time sheet & hourly wage instead of a salary because we are separated, he thinks I’m thick.

 

[Kim Mild]

Can you work from home?

It is a horrible situation. I bet it affects the quality of your work .

 

[PinkJen099]

Is there a choice for you to work from home?
Can’t imagine how hard that would be!

 

[Bogwoppit]

Oh crikey what a situation to be in.

You are hearing them talking and laughing and they are most likely laying it on a bit thick for your benefit, knowing that you can hear them.

Do you have shares in his business? I hope that you do as that will give you more leverage.

I would be inclined to seek legal advice as to what your next step might be.

Don’t have shares, my husband & another family member are directors & shareholders, I just keep being told because we are ‘separated’ I’m not entitled to anything even though I’m still legally his wife!

 

[BettyCrocker]

Don’t have shares, my husband & another family member are directors & shareholders, I just keep being told because we are ‘separated’ I’m not entitled to anything even though I’m still legally his wife!

Are you involved in the business at all aside from being an employee there? Did you put any money into it?

you need to get proper legal advice. Ignore whatever shit he’s telling you. Get legal advice regarding work and legal advice regarding the separation/money/child support etc. Where are you both living? Do you own a home together? What about money/bank accounts etc?