Womanhood rants

[chocolatepanda6]

What pisses me off is the amount of friends I have who still quote their other half’s opinions on things like because he is a man he is the oracle . Also the fact I mostly wfh and everyone in my family acts like my other half is so hard done by because he’s in a manual jog where he starts early he COULD apply for any other job ?
i also feel the rage start pretty much as soon as I’m about 17 days into my cycle and hate everyone and everything my hair is full of grey roots my skins spotty and gross the Botox I shelled out for is utter tit and I have major house repairs getting done tomorrow . Just want to lie in my bed and read tattle and look at vinted and Shein home and get peace .

 

[shadowcat5]

I know my period is coming because I get the most intense anxiety. It feels like I’m drowning

 

[pinkmug]

Fear is engraved in me and I hate it. Avoiding certain hours of the day, avoiding certain locations if I'm alone, avoiding drinking alone in case my drink gets spiked, avoiding the park at night, avoiding conversing with random strangers because who knows it will be taken as an excuse to push boundaries, avoiding this, avoiding that, constant vigilance. It's like playing Operation with my life, worst part is if a man is determined to hurt me, none of my "sensible" life choices will matter. I know not every woman lives like this but I can't help it, even if I take a chance it's always in the back of my head. I wish I had the peace of mind of a man casually deciding to take a walk after midnight with headphones on.

 

[shadowcat5]

Fear is engraved in me and I hate it. Avoiding certain hours of the day, avoiding certain locations if I'm alone, avoiding drinking alone in case my drink gets spiked, avoiding the park at night, avoiding conversing with random strangers because who knows it will be taken as an excuse to push boundaries, avoiding this, avoiding that, constant vigilance. It's like playing Operation with my life, worst part is if a man is determined to hurt me, none of my "sensible" life choices will matter. I know not every woman lives like this but I can't help it, even if I take a chance it's always in the back of my head. I wish I had the peace of mind of a man casually deciding to take a walk after midnight with headphones on.

i can relate to this (i think all women can tbh). I struggle to walk in cycle track behind me house cause the fear is too much. It’s not really a relaxing walk when I’m constantly turning around to see who’s behind me, seeing someone in the distance and getting the fear

 

[Snippysnips]

Yes, this is an official statistic. In my experience, GPs don't have enough knowledge of gynaecological conditions and how they should be investigated. I went to my GP and she reluctantly sent me for an ultrasound (which was all clear). The technician doing the ultrasound asked me some questions and told me I needed to go back to the GP and push for a referral to a specialist for a laparoscopy, particularly as my mum had endometriosis. Ultrasounds don't always pick up endo so it's important not to rule it out if it comes back clear.

Eventually I was referred to a gynaecologist, he agreed to conduct the laparoscopy and found I did have endometriosis. I haven't had any surgical treatment but the diagnosis meant I could be prescribed stronger pain relief and I'm protected under the Equality Act 2010 so have more accommodation at work for needing time off etc.

Thanks, am going look more into this because I've honestly felt at times that it really can't be normal to get pains as bad as I get them, especially when you hear about other woman still going on about their day as normal or even playing sports an being fine

 

[!noseyparker!]

I hesitated putting this in another thread I am in, and I want to be clear I don't judge any woman for her choices regarding this/ I don't think I'm better than someone who doesn't, but since I stopped shaving my body have felt SO MUCH BETTER.

I haven't shaved anywhere below my neck in nearly six years (stopped in my mid-twenties/ now in my early thirties) and it's so nice not thinking about it. I save so much time, money, I like how my body looks, I feel sexier and more comfortable existing with body hair than I ever did as a stressed out teenager/ student shaving and hating it.

Shortly after I stopped, I moved to a beach town and was worried I'd get more anxious there, but I went to the beach in a bikini with hairy armpits and legs and no one cared, or if they did, they did not mention it to me at all. The fear of someone saying something was higher than the actual risk, in my situation/ geographical location at any rate.

At work, when I worked in person, I wore just below knee-length skirts/ dresses sometimes and no one ever mentioned it (including when working as a receptionist in private healthcare in the UK)/ In my current, admittedly pretty liberal, industry I have attended national conferences with leg hair and it was fine! If I look at my twenties, it's without doubt the best decision I made about my body and I get that it's not possible for many women depending on their work/ industries/ friendship groups/ families/ partners and in some circumstances you might get a lot more pushback than I did/ it might be genuinely unsafe. But not shaving is, in some circumstances, definitely an option.

I'm going to get off my soap box about this but I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental - I just felt so sure age 14-24ish that the world would end if I had a body hair out of place/ that people would hate me/ shun me/ shout at me in the street and that's...never happened (it probably would have as a teenager but not as an adult).

 

[Snippysnips]

I hesitated putting this in another thread I am in, and I want to be clear I don't judge any woman for her choices regarding this/ I don't think I'm better than someone who doesn't, but since I stopped shaving my body have felt SO MUCH BETTER.

I haven't shaved anywhere below my neck in nearly six years (stopped in my mid-twenties/ now in my early thirties) and it's so nice not thinking about it. I save so much time, money, I like how my body looks, I feel sexier and more comfortable existing with body hair than I ever did as a stressed out teenager/ student shaving and hating it.

Shortly after I stopped, I moved to a beach town and was worried I'd get more anxious there, but I went to the beach in a bikini with hairy armpits and legs and no one cared, or if they did, they did not mention it to me at all. The fear of someone saying something was higher than the actual risk, in my situation/ geographical location at any rate.

At work, when I worked in person, I wore just below knee-length skirts/ dresses sometimes and no one ever mentioned it (including when working as a receptionist in private healthcare in the UK)/ In my current, admittedly pretty liberal, industry I have attended national conferences with leg hair and it was fine! If I look at my twenties, it's without doubt the best decision I made about my body and I get that it's not possible for many women depending on their work/ industries/ friendship groups/ families/ partners and in some circumstances you might get a lot more pushback than I did/ it might be genuinely unsafe. But not shaving is, in some circumstances, definitely an option.

I'm going to get off my soap box about this but I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental - I just felt so sure age 14-24ish that the world would end if I had a body hair out of place/ that people would hate me/ shun me/ shout at me in the street and that's...never happened (it probably would have as a teenager but not as an adult).

I wish body hair didn't bother me as much as it does, I can't even stand stubble, I've shaved when there's barely been anything there an it's probably damaging my skin, I even went for a waxing once an still found myself shaving a few days later because I felt like it was starting, an I honestly don't know how to get over it

I'd like to know when in society it started that woman had to shave but men can get away with it

 

[shadowcat5]

I wish body hair didn't bother me as much as it does, I can't even stand stubble, I've shaved when there's barely been anything there an it's probably damaging my skin, I even went for a waxing once an still found myself shaving a few days later because I felt like it was starting, an I honestly don't know how to get over it

I'd like to know when in society it started that woman had to shave but men can get away with it

second this^ it itches me like it’s no one’s business

 

[malibu skies]

my womanhood rant is i hate how i get pains when i ovulate, then after ovulation im moody, bloated and spotty leading up to my period, then on my period i’m still spotty, angry and emotional. So i just have a week of good skin and a bit of happiness

THIS!! I legit only have about 2 good days a month, the rest of the time I am a slave to my hormones.

 

[Saddlesoap]

Being told to smile by random grown-arsed men in public places because I have natural RBF.
duck off.

I was going to write this!

i can relate to this (i think all women can tbh). I struggle to walk in cycle track behind me house cause the fear is too much. It’s not really a relaxing walk when I’m constantly turning around to see who’s behind me, seeing someone in the distance and getting the fear

I recently had a conversation with my brother in law would couldn't understand why I couldn't go for a run on the cycle path before work. In the dark. My mum, sister and I were looking at him like he had two heads, he didn't get it at all..

 

[DanaScully]

Thanks, am going look more into this because I've honestly felt at times that it really can't be normal to get pains as bad as I get them, especially when you hear about other woman still going on about their day as normal or even playing sports an being fine

Please do! There's an endometriosis thread here on Tattle you may want to have a read through also.

Keep pushing until you get referred to a specialist, don't let your GP fob you off. Tell them exactly what impact it's having on your life (and job if applicable) every month, and detail the pain as much as you can. Good luck x

 

[ElChanguito]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

 

[Mooordgirl]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

Thats an awful situation to be in. Good intentions but too much pressure. Mind yourself

 

[ElChanguito]

Thats an awful situation to be in. Good intentions but too much pressure. Mind yourself

Thank you, that's really kind. It was such a crazy sum to give me. £50 for one lesson would have been plenty. I wish I'd never paid his cheque in now! I don't want to be beholden to a man!

 

[watermelon sugar]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

I’d honestly give him the money back but that’s me. He shouldn’t give you money then guilt trip you into feeling bad for him by saying he can’t afford to put his heating on. what a strange man! Hope you are ok that’s not a nice situation to be in x

 

[Snippysnips]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

I'd probably just hand it back an say it was a nice thought but you just have too much going on right now, it seems like he wanted to do a nice thing but I agree it's a bit much pressure to put on you when you really don't know him

Also I'd probably recommend doing manual till you have passed your test then going auto an taking a lesson or two to get comfortable with it, I HATE manual but having had a brother as a driving instructor he refused to learn me auto an I passed with a manual, I know how you feel with being uncomfortable with it as I myself really wasn't comfortable,I also struggled a lot in the beginning with stalling which just added to my frustration, but if you pass in a auto then you aren't allowed to drive a manual unless you have passed a test where as if you pass in a manual then you can drive automatic with no test, so if you were to rent a car in a emergency an there was no autos then you wouldn't be able to take a manual with a auto license

 

[pinkmug]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

I'd give the money back. This sounds like too much financial attachment to a person you're not even close with. Thank him for the gesture, I'm sure he meant well but you can explain to him that you have other priorities right now and can't focus on the lessons and you're not comfortable holding onto this amount of money. It's weird of him to drop such a huge amount on you, I'd hate it too.

 

[Marcinabolan]

I mentioned in passing to a good friend of my dad that I wanted to learn to drive one day. Then, after my dad died, this man turned up and gave me a cheque for £500! To learn to drive with. It's so good of him but I don't actually know him. When I said I want to do automatic lessons he goes, "NO! Don't do automatic whatever you do!! You must do manual. Do you have coordination problems or something?" I ended up agreeing not to do automatic just to be civil but that is still absolutely my intention because I think it will be so much easier for me. He phoned me up the other day continuing to pressure me to do the lessons (I haven't managed it yet as we are having major problems with our house). He sounded very put out when I said I hadn't and then kept saying he couldn't afford to put any heating on and was still working etc. Should I just send him his money back now or what? The whole situation is making me feel uncomfortable in the sense of him being a strange man I don't actually know and the way he shouted me down. It just feels really icky. I can afford the lessons by myself and didn;t want his involvement in any of this.

Give him the money back, tell him to put the heating on and to back the Hell off! You don’t need that stress esp when you didn’t even ask for the money. Go and learn in an auto in your own time x