Why do people read a message & then not respond?

[Scragbags]

In my personal experience sometimes I mentally can't respond to messages, even to say 'sorry I cant talk atm' 'cause it does use a lot of mental energy.

This day and age people send messages and expect instant replies but you shouldn't have to be constantly in demand even if it is showing you online.

If you need a reply urgently try contacting the person another way or just send another message saying you need a reply.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Because im busy, it warrants a proper reply, or i go to reply and im distracted etc etc. If its important, they can ring or chase it up

 

[judgejohndeed]

Personally I’ve turned off read receipts, the blue tick thing on WhatsApp etc. If it causes you anxiety, I’d recommend it. I do it because I don’t think people need to know if and when I’ve read a message tbh. It’s a weird and horrible part of the modern world that I don’t think is necessary, it feels very intrusive to me.
That being said I do try not to read a message if I don’t have time to reply because if I leave it ‘read’ I might forget to reply but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

It drives me mad when people expect an immediate response, we all have lives.

 

[DoctorWho]

Because it’s not your god forgiven right to be answered straight away phone them if you want an immediate answer?

 

[Mulholland Drive]

What really irritates me sometimes is if I haven't replied to an email/message within an hour or two, they resend the message again and add a "?"

Now that really pisse me off, and makes me feel even more inclined to ignore them. Or at least put them to the back of the queue

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

Genuine question. Why read a message & then not respond? If you have not annoyed the person, there is no reason for that. But they read your message and then continue throughout the day to be on the messenger and not respond. It really annoys me. At least say, I’m super busy today but I will get back to you when I have time later. Not just ignore your message. It’s rude.
What are the reasons for it?

 

[Sosig]

I work a pretty intense job and I have to use my phone. (I have a work number but it routes through to my mobile during working hours)

If I receive an urgent message I will respond but that is a rarity as my friends have their own responsibilities e.g work, children. My boyfriend also works an intense job so it’s very rare we message during the working day, it can wait until the evening and then we spend a lot of time together anyway.

I have had to mute someone on WhatsApp because during the day they just send me shite consisting of memes and gifs - I’ve had to mute them because they’ve kicked off at people in the past for blue ticking them and not responding straight away.

If you’re hung up on chit chat being blue ticked then I suggest you need to occupy your time in a better way.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Good idea. I've done that on whatsapp. During the last lockdown I had a colleague working from home. She was supposed to share the workload yet I was doing all of it. I checked her whatsapp and she was constantly online / typing (we don't use whatsapp for work). I realised all I was doing was winding myself up so since then I cannot see when people were last on whatsapp and vice versa.

That’s extremely annoying! There are of course instances like that where people are just avoiding you.
I used to be very sensitive to ‘being ignored’ because I previously had a very abusive relationship where I would be ignored for weeks and then when I was upset, be told it’s unreasonable to be confused/upset/assume things were over, etc.
I personally think it’s better to turn it all off. If someone has an issue with you, you’ll know soon enough. I regret wasting hours holding a WhatsApp conversation open to see the ticks go blue or if someone is online, winding myself up. I’m also regretful that it’s even possible to be that intrusive into someone else’s activity, tbh. I really don’t think it’s normal or healthy for that to be normalised.

 

[MaxieMoo]

The worse one is when you are trying to arrange a date. I used to get cheesed off with it but now I just let it go. I think over time you get to know which friends take ages and so I don't take it personally.

 

[Pinkblush]

I think people have got so used to messaging that they'e forgotten when a phone call is required or when a message will do.
Two years ago my mum was hit by a car and was taken to hospital with a broken arm and ankle. I was informed by a family member in a whatsapp message which is an appalling way to recieve bad news. I nearly fainted on reading it and I was standing on a tube platform at the time. At that point all it said was she'd been hit and taken to hospital because the injuries weren't known at that stage so I didn't know what state she was in and then when I went outside and tried to ring they didn't answer.
When I questioned them later they said ' I don't do phone calls'. I think this is totally wrong especially when delivering bad news. Have the back bone and human decency to break such news gently.

People don't realise the damage they do. Its taken me a long time not to feel panicky when a message pops up. It killed all the good that convenience messaging is about

I nearly deleted whatsapp after a while because i dreaded opening messsages and it was messing with my head but I've since made it clear to all my contacts if its urgent call me if its not then send a messsage.

Sorry, the point i was trying to make is people moaning about blue ticks and no replies. Pick up the phone and call if you think you should be afforded an immediate response

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I'm 35 and I remember a time before everyone had mobiles/smart phones (haha sound old typing that) As great as they are for a lot of things, I often wish we didn't have them. Especially when I am out with someone and they have their phone out on the table and are constantly looking at it - I absolutely loathe that.
Although, not sure how I managed to ever get anywhere without Googlemaps. So if I could have a smartphone, with just Googlemaps, I'd be happy!

Its social media thats our downfall, I think. Its just taken over, apps for everything and constantly being 'on'. Now theres the growing popularity for mindfulness because we are overstimulated

 

[Scorpihoe]

Mostly because when I’m on my phone and I see a message, I don’t want to reply instantly, as it seems too eager. So I try and wait a bit, but then I forget...

By the time I remember I think “oh it’s been a few days now, it’s a bit rude to respond so late”, so I don’t reply at all it’s so bad, I know

 

[Gertrude]

I'm only in my late 20s, and it struck me how people coped prior to the arrival of the internet and mobile phone?

Technology was supposed to make our lives easier, less paperwork, better efficiency etc. But I wonder if that is really is the case compared to the good old days?

I'm 35 and I remember a time before everyone had mobiles/smart phones (haha sound old typing that) As great as they are for a lot of things, I often wish we didn't have them. Especially when I am out with someone and they have their phone out on the table and are constantly looking at it - I absolutely loathe that.
Although, not sure how I managed to ever get anywhere without Googlemaps. So if I could have a smartphone, with just Googlemaps, I'd be happy!

 

[Mulholland Drive]

At this precise moment in time I have:-

18 unread emails in my business Outlook
11 unread emails in my business Yahoo
21 unread emails in my business Gmail

I've got 4 people messaging me on my Skype for Business, Microsoft Teams and ICQ

I've two people messaging me via Whatsapp on my phone as I type this on my laptop

...and its not even 10 o'clock yet!

 

[CarrieW24]

I like this thread. It makes me feel less guilty for choosing not to be available 24/7.

 

[LittleMy]

Either I’m busy with my children/housework/shopping, asleep (I work nights), or my anxiety has kicked in and stopped me from responding. Sometimes I just cba, unless it’s something clearly urgent. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. Do I care? Not really. I’m not the most sociable person, and I’d never flip out on someone for leaving me on “seen” as we all have our reasons. You have to switch off some of the time.

 

[Whaaaaat]

I genuinely forget! If I don’t reply straight away I don’t reply at all.

 

[JodieGreen123]

I've turned off 'read receipts' for everything as I can't stand having to respond straight away, there is just too much pressure and I find it draining!

 

[Upintheair83]

I've turned off 'read receipts' for everything as I can't stand having to respond straight away, there is just too much pressure and I find it draining!

Me too. Iv had so many people say to me ‘oh you’ve turned your blue ticks off and last seen’ on WhatsApp and I’m like So what?! It’s like it’s a scandal if you do this!But I just find it unnecessary.