Why do people read a message & then not respond?

[Herefortheteeeee]

Genuine question. Why read a message & then not respond? If you have not annoyed the person, there is no reason for that. But they read your message and then continue throughout the day to be on the messenger and not respond. It really annoys me. At least say, I’m super busy today but I will get back to you when I have time later. Not just ignore your message. It’s rude.
What are the reasons for it?

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Because im busy, it warrants a proper reply, or i go to reply and im distracted etc etc. If its important, they can ring or chase it up

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

Because im busy, it warrants a proper reply, or i go to reply and im distracted etc etc. If its important, they can ring or chase it up

Is that the same for a social message?

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Is that the same for a social message?

Yeah. I usually reply quickly to notifications, but if im busy or in the middle of something ill just come back to it. I have a mate who is awful for messaging. It can take days to get a reply, but thats how shes always been. She sets certain days to catch up with everyone, with the odd text here and there

 

[Scragbags]

In my personal experience sometimes I mentally can't respond to messages, even to say 'sorry I cant talk atm' 'cause it does use a lot of mental energy.

This day and age people send messages and expect instant replies but you shouldn't have to be constantly in demand even if it is showing you online.

If you need a reply urgently try contacting the person another way or just send another message saying you need a reply.

 

[MaxieMoo]

The worse one is when you are trying to arrange a date. I used to get cheesed off with it but now I just let it go. I think over time you get to know which friends take ages and so I don't take it personally.

 

[Herefortheteeeee]

Yeah. I usually reply quickly to notifications, but if im busy or in the middle of something ill just come back to it. I have a mate who is awful for messaging. It can take days to get a reply, but thats how shes always been. She sets certain days to catch up with everyone, with the odd text here and there

I like the setting aside time to reply. That’s a great idea.

In my personal experience sometimes I mentally can't respond to messages, even to say 'sorry I cant talk atm' 'cause it does use a lot of mental energy.

This day and age people send messages and expect instant replies but you shouldn't have to be constantly in demand even if it is showing you online.

If you need a reply urgently try contacting the person another way or just send another message saying you need a reply.

Theu absolutely do and I am totally guilty of thus. Or at least the same day. It makes me super cross when actually, I need to stop worrying about it and actually enjoy my day!

The worse one is when you are trying to arrange a date. I used to get cheesed off with it but now I just let it go. I think over time you get to know which friends take ages and so I don't take it personally.

Friends yes but if they aren’t friends, I guess it is more difficult to gage

 

[judgejohndeed]

Personally I’ve turned off read receipts, the blue tick thing on WhatsApp etc. If it causes you anxiety, I’d recommend it. I do it because I don’t think people need to know if and when I’ve read a message tbh. It’s a weird and horrible part of the modern world that I don’t think is necessary, it feels very intrusive to me.
That being said I do try not to read a message if I don’t have time to reply because if I leave it ‘read’ I might forget to reply but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

 

[MaxieMoo]

Personally I’ve turned off read receipts, the blue tick thing on WhatsApp etc. If it causes you anxiety, I’d recommend it. I do it because I don’t think people need to know if and when I’ve read a message tbh. It’s a weird and horrible part of the modern world that I don’t think is necessary, it feels very intrusive to me.
That being said I do try not to read a message if I don’t have time to reply because if I leave it ‘read’ I might forget to reply but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

Good idea. I've done that on whatsapp. During the last lockdown I had a colleague working from home. She was supposed to share the workload yet I was doing all of it. I checked her whatsapp and she was constantly online / typing (we don't use whatsapp for work). I realised all I was doing was winding myself up so since then I cannot see when people were last on whatsapp and vice versa.

 

[Whaaaaat]

I genuinely forget! If I don’t reply straight away I don’t reply at all.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Good idea. I've done that on whatsapp. During the last lockdown I had a colleague working from home. She was supposed to share the workload yet I was doing all of it. I checked her whatsapp and she was constantly online / typing (we don't use whatsapp for work). I realised all I was doing was winding myself up so since then I cannot see when people were last on whatsapp and vice versa.

That’s extremely annoying! There are of course instances like that where people are just avoiding you.
I used to be very sensitive to ‘being ignored’ because I previously had a very abusive relationship where I would be ignored for weeks and then when I was upset, be told it’s unreasonable to be confused/upset/assume things were over, etc.
I personally think it’s better to turn it all off. If someone has an issue with you, you’ll know soon enough. I regret wasting hours holding a WhatsApp conversation open to see the ticks go blue or if someone is online, winding myself up. I’m also regretful that it’s even possible to be that intrusive into someone else’s activity, tbh. I really don’t think it’s normal or healthy for that to be normalised.

 

[Scorpihoe]

Mostly because when I’m on my phone and I see a message, I don’t want to reply instantly, as it seems too eager. So I try and wait a bit, but then I forget...

By the time I remember I think “oh it’s been a few days now, it’s a bit rude to respond so late”, so I don’t reply at all it’s so bad, I know

 

[Mulholland Drive]

The problem is that there are so many messenger apps out there, not least the likes of Skype, Teams, Whatsapp, Trillian, ICQ etc. and that doesn't include email clients like Outlook, Hotmail & gmail. And then there's the apps on your phone to contend with too.

All of them demanding your attention. So it can be quite an ordeal to keep on top of messages and emails as well as continue with my day to day tasks. And what I don't want is to drag it into my social time of an evening.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

It drives me mad when people expect an immediate response, we all have lives.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

That’s extremely annoying! There are of course instances like that where people are just avoiding you.
I used to be very sensitive to ‘being ignored’ because I previously had a very abusive relationship where I would be ignored for weeks and then when I was upset, be told it’s unreasonable to be confused/upset/assume things were over, etc.
I personally think it’s better to turn it all off. If someone has an issue with you, you’ll know soon enough. I regret wasting hours holding a WhatsApp conversation open to see the ticks go blue or if someone is online, winding myself up. I’m also regretful that it’s even possible to be that intrusive into someone else’s activity, tbh. I really don’t think it’s normal or healthy for that to be normalised.

Nothing to do with replying to messages, but can I just say, Martin Shaw

 

[DoctorWho]

Because it’s not your god forgiven right to be answered straight away phone them if you want an immediate answer?

 

[Sosig]

I work a pretty intense job and I have to use my phone. (I have a work number but it routes through to my mobile during working hours)

If I receive an urgent message I will respond but that is a rarity as my friends have their own responsibilities e.g work, children. My boyfriend also works an intense job so it’s very rare we message during the working day, it can wait until the evening and then we spend a lot of time together anyway.

I have had to mute someone on WhatsApp because during the day they just send me rit consisting of memes and gifs - I’ve had to mute them because they’ve kicked off at people in the past for blue ticking them and not responding straight away.

If you’re hung up on chit chat being blue ticked then I suggest you need to occupy your time in a better way.

 

[Hinchhater1442]

Honestly... I’m busy. I have my phone on me at work, but the signal isn’t great and my job is very demanding. I might read a message with intent to reply, then the phone will ring or something will come up. I’ll forget that I read your message to reply to you. But then I’ll get a notification from someone else, open - perhaps have time to quickly reply to them (which to you looks like I’ve been back online and still not answered you), then lock my phone and get back to work. I usually realise the next day tbh... I’m awful for it

 

[Mulholland Drive]

At this precise moment in time I have:-

18 unread emails in my business Outlook
11 unread emails in my business Yahoo
21 unread emails in my business Gmail

I've got 4 people messaging me on my Skype for Business, Microsoft Teams and ICQ

I've two people messaging me via Whatsapp on my phone as I type this on my laptop

...and its not even 10 o'clock yet!

 

[Giggling Squid]

I am so bad for this. Often I read messages, and am busy so if it requires anything other than a quick response I save it for later. I then forget, and reply ages later. It’s nothing personal, I’m just forgetful