WhatMummyMakes #10 Hello from the other siiiiide ... I have a husband that I hiiiiiiiiide.

[Borntorun]

And this is how it will go

Once upon a time there was a little chef called Nini
She once made a cheese sandwich on a Monday.
she ate the sandwich in the grounds of an NT garden overlooking a derelict castle.
The rest of the week she went to ikea and ate meatballs. Then she went to costa, then Chinatown, then a fancy restaurant not meant for little kids but she went anyway coz she fits into 7/8 clothes.
then she did some sewing, frolicking and elocution lessons.
At night she reminisced about her cheese sandwich she made a week ago and was very proud.
what A clever little chef she was!

My prediction is…

In the light of the moon, a little chef lay on a leaf. She started to look for some food. On Monday, Rebecca ate through one Wagamamas meal. But she was still hungry
On Tuesday, Rebecca ate through two mum guilt cucumbers. But she was still hungry.
On Wednesday, Rebecca ate through three ikea meatballs. But she was still hungry.
On Thursday, Rebecca ate through four Costa coffees. But she was still hungry.
On Friday, she ate through five blocks of cheese. But she was still hungry.
That night she had a tummy ache. And she wasnt hungry any more. And she wasn’t a little chef any more, but a big fat chef. She built a little house, called a cocoon, around herself and stayed there for two weeks. And when she emerged, she was in the car park of a NT three hours drive away from home. The end.


(For anyone without kids, this is a parody of the very hungry caterpillar lol )

 

[Synergy]

Thread suggestion (in the tune of Butterfly): Pout My Nini, pout pout My Nini, you’re my meal ticket, my cash cow, Nini.

 

[Pollyanna263]

That was a proper shitnic that! And if that’s the best ‘quick dinner’ she can lob together as a food writer well Jesus Christ, it gets more obvious what a fraud she is every day.

Thread suggestion -

a sandwich short of a shitnic

 

[Pollyanna263]

Thread suggestion

Every night in my dreams I see cheese, I eat cheese

 

[squatternutbosh]

Next week:

becky: I watched 50 shades of grey with my Nini but fast forwarded all the inappropriate bits!

 

[Pollyanna263]

What MyNini hasn’t done -

Play date with nursery friends
Been to a local park for a quiet play
Cuddled up and read an age appropriate bedtime story
Had a lazy weekend in a blanket fort with snacks and tv
Spent time with her dad
Worn comfy clothes


What MyNini has done -

Been to Beamish (a lot)
Made friends with an ‘older’ couple who posted about it on fb (that was weird)
Been to Adele
Been to a NT (of course)
Been to the supermarket after school nursery more than once because Bex can’t possibly go in the day
Eaten toddler size portions from bamboo weaning plates
Had bare legs and sandals in all weathers


What Bex has done -

Boomerangs
Hidden her ring finger
Driven more miles than a long distance lorry driver
Crashed the WH Smith website

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Thread suggestion

‘Still sore from birthing Panini, might take a Shitnic to Santorini, probably won’t wear a bikini’

 

[rockhoppernroll]

TITANIC??? is she for real I only just let my daughter watch that at 11 even then I was a bit worried if it would really upset her, wow that is bad absolutely not appropriate for a 4 year old at all

Genuinely the more I think about it the more appalled I am. I’m a teacher and have had to speak to parents about watching inappropriate things before…they might think it’s harmless but also clearly know sod all about child development. As someone said above, you would have to fast forward basically the whole thing for it to be ok. Who wants to show a four year old someone running round with a gun, terrified children on lifeboats crying for their daddy, the rising water levels, the hundreds of people screaming and drowning in the dark?! It’s really damaging.

Nini might claim to have enjoyed it Becky, but she absolutely will be thinking about it when she wakes up in the night and her subconscious will certainly be filing it away as fear fodder. Becky’s ignorance here goes beyond a joke - you are genuinely not looking after your own child and I think it’s disgusting. I can laugh about things like Downton, and think it’s a shame she is encouraging Nina to say she loves people etc, but if I had Nina coming into my Reception class and demonstrating any behaviour she had seen from these things she is watching, I would be monitoring her very closely indeed.

 

[Jamka]

It's a bit off topic, but I had this thought today so thought I'd share. I think she's a clown and completely tone deaf, and her behaviour can have a serious impact on mums and dads. My children are older, my eldest is 12,so I don't know why I still follow her, probably to torture myself. Anyway I don't compare myself to her at all, because I know I'm a good mum to my children. But had I been following her 12 years ago, it could have had disastrous consequences. I suffered from postnatal depression and awful social anxiety after having my first child. It took all the strength I could muster to take him to playgroups or a playground. I was doing it for him,so he didn't suffer,but I didn't go out with him as much as I should have. I was compering myself to other mums in the park, who seemed to be doing so well. I was the first one out of my siblings and friends to have a baby, so when everyone was at work or travelling, I was so extremely lonely. Financially we weren't doing great either, so couldn't afford holidays, and beautiful clothes. It was the worst time of my life, so hopeless.It took me years to recover, my husband was super supportive, he changed jobs ,baby got bigger,things improved. The reason why I'm writing this is,looking back at those years, I'm thinking if I had started compering myself to Rebecca's "perfect life" and perfect relationship with nina, would that have pushed me over the edge? I'll never know. But what I hope is ,if there are mums like my old self following her, that they realise that what she's showing isn't reall, isn't achievable, isn't necessary. Life isn't perfect, not even hers. No child is perfect. No relationship is perfect. I know it's hard to see when you are so low and have no hope, that's why if following someone affects you just unfollow. Don't put yourself through extra stress. Life is stressful enough.x

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Unless she’s had secret twins called Focaccia and Ciabatta in the five years since she’s had Panini, no she definitely can’t blame the fact she’s now a moomin on pregnancy.

 

[howareyoufinethankyou]

I’m guessing a trip around rustic Italy too. Won’t be a pool in sight for Nina.

I’m Italian. We have actually banned her due to crimes against pasta. That butternut squash and cream cheese monstrosity was the final straw. She’s not allowed in now. If she tries she will get chased out by an army of nonnas wielding wooden spoons and blocks of Grana Padano.

(Don’t get me started on what she does to Gnocchi. My grandmother would literally shout at me if I fed any of the pasta or gnocchi dishes in those books to my child)
[/QUOTE]

 

[Ems55]

Fast forwarded through scenes which were unsuitable. So the whole movie? Seriously what part of Titanic is suitable for a 4 year old?!

 

[squatternutbosh]

Becky forcing herself to drink champagne waiting for her BFF Nina to wake up in the morning so her life content can begin again

 

[squatternutbosh]

we all know becky is gonna be writing her own books in Nina’s reading log

monday: WMM
Tuesday: Family Comforts
Weds: Fast Family food
Thurs: Fast & Furious family food
Friday: Furious food fast
Saturday: The Fast & The Furious Comforts: Cheese drift
Sunday: she read the ikea menu

 

[MissTeddy]

Her 4 year old watched Titanic ??? Is she actually fucking unhinged?

 

[squatternutbosh]

What is she talking about??? Last Friday of mummy and nini fun?? It’s the 6 weeks holidays next week?
She’s got 6 WEEKS to smother her in cheese & take her to every NT & ikea & antique book shop in the country.
HOWEVER, it is INFACT, the last day of nursery for most children. And most parents, like myself, are sending their little kids in to enjoy the last of play based learning with their little nursery friends.
she is such a gigantic dickhead

 

[howareyoufinethankyou]

“These types of picnics”

Didn’t realise I’ve been doing picnics wrong all this time. I’ve been cooking entire roast dinners and transporting it all mushed together in carrier bag. I didn’t think to take lots of different bits of food and assemble my lunch on location. Thank goodness Becky is here to tell me about “these types of picnics”
Never heard of such an idea! Revolutionary!

 

[squatternutbosh]

Nina’s attitude problem ‘sass’ is gonna become a real problem in school. I hope she doesn’t become one of them overbearing bullish children.
Becky overindulges Nina at every opportunity but has failed to teach her basic manners:
- eating (she’s got the most awful eating habits, spurred on by mum, the more animated the more mum will be pleased)
- singing (loudly singing in public places, it’s not cute, it’s annoying af)
- sass (the lack of interaction with other people her age has turned Nina into an entitled brat. Sorry. Not sorry)

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

What was she working that out for?! What an odd thing to do.

Tell me you don't have a real job without telling me you don't have a real job...

 

[Multi-21]

Woohoo finally summer holidays so they can have some Mummy and Nina time. They never normally get the chance