What is the hardest thing you had to go through in life and could you overcome it

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tskiry56

Well-known member
It's amazing what you can go without realising how strong you all are
I wrote a blog to help me and help other people know that life can get better. unbeatenmystory.wordpress.com
 
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Buy.this.tat

Member
KateESJ said:
That sums it up pretty well. I’m not sure I’ve learnt how to live with it quite yet though. I hope I do. My chest hurts all the time. I have so many physical symptoms that it’s hard to put it to the back of my mind. Grief is weird and confusing and so debilitating.
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I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t even imagine how you’ve got through it. Grief is the hardest emotion I’ve ever dealt with! The constant ache and pressure in your chest will hopefully ease off eventually and you’ll be able to breathe easier. The kindest thing I did for myself when I was deep in the grieving process was to allow myself time to wallow and feel sad! I spent a lot of days coming home from work and crawling into bed to cry myself to sleep. I know having children will mean this isn’t always possible and I hope you have friends and family supporting you and being there for you. Sending lots of love 💕
 
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Apple In My Pie

Apple In My Pie

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I was in and out of hospital as a kid. I needed a vital operation (think like the replacement of a pacemaker except for the brain - I have hydrocephalus) but kept getting sent home from the ward, the doctors thought mum was hysterical and making it up, my symptoms were treated as migraines. It went on for a year - headaches at the slightest thing (noise, light, movement), vomiting, seizures, in and out of consciousness... I was 7. this went on for a year and eventually, all options exhausted, i was booked in for the operation. When they put me under they admitted that I was at death’s door and had it been left a day longer I would have died, had the operation and was perfectly fine literally overnight. i haven’t needed another operation since but I dread being ill like that again in case the same thing happens 😬 - sort of made me lose faith in the nhs a wee bit and I will always feel bitter at the loss of a year of childhood! 😅
 
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MaeveWiley

MaeveWiley

Active member
I'm a rape survivor. I was raped and abused by my ex in the last few months of our relationship. It was 5 years ago now.

I haven't been able to have sex since. I had a boyfriend for 2 years recently and not having much intimacy killed the relationship and it stings cause I wanted to have sex with him.

I was in hospital last year and my anxiety, depression and ptsd is all ok now. I have to see a sex therapist this year and use dialotors, I'm dreading it but have to get it sorted once and for all.

KateESJ said:
I am so sorry for everything you're going through. As for your husband, maybe some couples counselling? As well as individual counselling for you. Counselling sounds daunting and scary but it can really be so helpful in helping us work through hard things and get our thoughts straight.

The hardest thing I've gone through was losing my 4 year old son. That was 4 years ago and it's not something I'll ever overcome. It's taken over every fibre of my being and every second of my life. I think about him ALL the time, which I wouldn't think was possible but he's on my mind 24/7 and I miss him so much. I don't know how I get through it and how I'm still here, but I am.

Knowing I have to get through the rest of my life without him is incredibly hard, but I have my two other kids and I know it would hurt them more if they couldn't have me as their Mum for the rest of my life. I have to be here for them.
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♥♥♥♥♥♥
 
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Prosecco queen

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Maritxu1 said:
Reading these have made me incredibly sad, especially those who have lost children. I am sending so much love, I don't really have any other words. I hope life is kinder to all of you. I will share mine in a little while.

I had an unsettled childhood. My dad is foreign and left to live in his country when I was about 3, shortly after my older sister was diagnosed with cancer. My mum was away with her in hospital a lot and I stayed with family members. When I was very young I couldn't understand why both my parents had left me. After years of fighting, when I was 7 (and my sister was 16) she passed away in the night. We were living with my grandparents and she had a bed set up in the living room. The following morning I woke up for school, went downstairs to have my breakfast and discovered her body. I asked my mum why she wasnt breathing and she told me she was dead. I won't ever forget that moment.
After that we lived with my grandparents for years, my mum was suicidal and could only provide the most basic care for me and my younger sister. I had no real support and was left to get on with things, I cried myself to sleep most nights and had nightmares often. I also felt like I wanted to die a lot of the time.
When I was 12, my mum found us a house to live in and I was excited that we were going to be a normal family. My mums boyfriend also moved in though, he was nasty, controlling and abusive (mostly towards me). Their relationship finally ended years later when he threw her over a chair and fractured her skull and broke her ribs (he did this in front of me, I had to kick him out and call her an ambulance and go to the hospital with her).
Before this though I couldn't stand living with him and left to go and live with my dad, he was emotionally abusive. He would create arguments with me (for example ask me if I actually loved him, then accuse me of lying and say I dont love him). He would punish me by giving me the silent treatment, I would be kept in my bedroom only allowed out to go to school and allowed one meal a day. This would go on for weeks until I would break down, cry and apologise then he would be ok with me again for a couple weeks until the cycle started again. After a year of this he kicked me out and sent me back to England.
At this point I was 14 and my mum wouldn't let me back to her so I went to live with my grandparents again, probably the most settled couple years of my life! Once I left school at 16 I went to live with my mum but our relationship broke down quickly (I was angry, naughty, full of attitude and off the rails), I ended up living in a b&b as a child in care. I moved between temporary accommodation for 2 years then when I was 18 met a man a fair bit older than me and got pregnant. He was also very controlling (there is SO much I could say about him but honestly I am the least affected by him and what he did I dont even think about it. He was recently sectioned and I'm aware that his other childs mum to this day has nightmares about him), I had a difficult pregnancy then had a little girl, stillborn at 27 weeks. After the funeral, within 3 months of each other my lovely nanny passed away, I haemorrhaged and needed emergency surgery and my daughters father beat me literally black and blue.
I left him and met my current partner and my healing began. Slowly but surely things got better and the awful things stopped happening - I was given a council flat in an area nearby and it was the fresh start I needed. As time went on things got more and more settled and I started to become the person I wanted to be, started working and built up my confidence. I had a baby who is 4 now and things just got better.
Last year I got pregnant again, at my 20 week scan my baby was diagnosed with open spina bifida. He appeared to already have no movement in his legs and would have been severely disabled, I had to make the difficult decision to end the pregnancy. I gave birth at the end of June and he is buried with my daughter.
However, I am ok. Actually, I'm happy. My life has been chaotic and traumatic but I'm settled now. I have a good relationship with both my parents, I have a healthy, happy son who is thriving at school, I'm in a happy relationship, my home is safe and secure and I enjoy my job. My only issues now are surrounding money, I'm skint and in debt but it's nothing. I do feel like I have had some of the worst luck and I'm due some really good karma now, I might start doing the lottery!
The way I've got through everything is just to take each day as it comes, I have to get through because I have no choice! Every day doesnt have to be a good day, just get through it however I can. As time goes on, things do get easier and the pain numbs.

Sorry that was so long, I've given my entire life story!
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I’m so sorry you’ve had such a difficult life but you sound so strong and positive now. I hope things continue to go well for you. You are an inspiration
 
Mustard

Mustard

VIP Member
Annie101 said:
Thank you for understanding and the encouragement. i love my husband very much and i dont want to leave him, i know i cant fix him, but i feel i need to be there to protect him. After a while one just wish someone would do it for you
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It sounds like you are co-dependent.
 
Orange Creme

Orange Creme

VIP Member
Annie101 said:
You are very kind - thank you. I am also in SA. My husband goes to AA meetings once a week for the past 5 months. He got himself a sponsor this week. I go to Al Alnon meetings for families of alcoholics. Most of the people there are adult children of alcoholic parents. I know it is hard for them, but going home to an alcoholic husband is different than dealing with your parents issues you had as a child. The sponsor came to our house on Monday to discuss his behaviour towards me, and my husband was just the best actor ever. He acted as if he could be Dalai Lama's brother. As soon as he left i was back walking on egg shells. I was locked out the house this past weekend and slept outside, i was allowed to enter the house in the morning when he took the dogs out. All of this breaks my heart, because this man tells me he loves me but he acts this way. Sponsor said i must be patient as he must still learn new behaviour skills and grow emotionally as the alcohol affects one's brain. I drive to work in the morning crying and act/pretend at work every day that all is well. Driving home i start crying again with pent up feelings of fear/anger/resentment. I did send him an email, yes an email because i am to scared to tell him in person that i am going on a holiday by myself to Thailand in March to clear my mind. So last night i was treated well, he is asking me not to go. It is a daily struggle and i want to believe things would change and that he can be normal again. I know this is a lot of private information to share on here, but since my friends and family knows nothing about this, it gives me some relief to post the truth on here.
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You are not allowed in your own house???
 
Moe

Moe

VIP Member
@Annie101 I really feel for you and wish I could help. Talk all you want on here it sounds like your only release. I know that walking on eggshells only too well.