What has made you break up with your boyfriend/divorce your husband?

[Instawhut!]

I left because after being with him for 6 years and there being no other reasons not to start trying I realised that I didn’t want him to be the father of my children. We had grown apart by this point and I didn’t feel like we’d be a team if we had kids, that held just expect me to do everything whilst he carried on doing his thing. It was the right choice.

I can relate to this so damn much, i dont know how i feel about kids, but i know i dont want them with my current partner...( in the process of getting things sorted to leave) ive worked all the way through the pandemic, 40 hours a week as a community care worker. My OH has been on furlough since 23rd of march and He has washed up twice and hoovered 3 times. Never once walked the dog, i have come home every day cooked and cleaned l spent at least 1 hour per day walking the dog, and he makes out like i have to earn sex and that im not nice to him. Everytime i point out (however nicely) that hes not helping me he thinks im being unreasonable. Had it been the other way around, i would have never expected him to lift a finger and if i did i would have been laughed at and got told 'im at work why should i.' we are not a team and the more time goes on the more i cant wait to get out and live my own life. We have been together for almost 11 years and its the last 5 that things have started to go down hill. Im just sorry its taken me so long to get to the point im at now.

 

[LIVINGMYBESTLIFE1]

My Mum was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer, when she was in the hospital dying I asked my then bf to come as I was dealing with it all alone (no Dad, little brother couldn't handle it and older brother lived away with his wife and kids). He said he couldn't come because he wanted to go cycling. For context we lived together, had been together for 4 years and I was madly in love with him, we were also both in our early 30s. My Mum only lasted 23 days from diagnosis to death, I spilt up with my bf two months after my Mum's death. I felt like my whole world had ended but I knew I didn't want a life with someone who could behave like that.

My mum was diagnosed just before Christmas and my then bf also refused to come to the hospital with on Christmas Day to see my Mum as he found it tiring. I think he came to the hospital twice in that whole period.

 

[Shedoesntevengohere]

He should not be calling you names full stop.
I don’t know you obviously, but I already know you deserve so much better than that shit.

 

[MsHoney]

Iv just had enough and left my husband at the weekend. Things haven’t been great since last year, I found out he had been using our savings to buy weed and coke which I knew nothing about for months. He started disappearing for a night here and there and lying about silly things. However I tried to make it work on and we bn getting on ok then his mum passed away about 8wks ago. She was quite ill and tbh I had been expecting it but I think my husband was still in denial(also think using drugs was his way of dealing with her being ill) Anyway turns out his mum didn’t have any Life Insurance/savings so I offered to pay for the funeral from my own savings (I haven’t contributed to the joint acc since he spent all the money last year) and organised the full thing, then dealt with getting her house ready to be sold etc. He’s been off work and has been laying in bed til 1ish every day and staying up til 4am, Iv told him it’s not fair as we have 3kids and one has ASD and only sleeps 4-5hrs a night (if I’m lucky) meaning I’m the one dealing with it all. One night last week he told me he was going to the shop and didn’t come home, turned his phone off. He was gone 2days and I was gonna phone the police to report him missing when he appeared and honestly he didn’t give a damn about it. Told me I was selfish and only cared about myself! I couldn’t get a straight answer to where he had been or what he had been doing so I took the kids and left. I still love him but what he’s going through doesn’t excuse his behaviour and I need to put my kids first. Quite scared if I’m being honest as we have been together 11years but I do feel like I’ve been a single parent the last year anyway

 

[Zenchick101]

curious what was the last straw? sometimes it comes to mind like when mine calls me re*****d for serving him too much gazpacho. When he calls me names like that it really affects me but apparently i'm too sensitive

 

[Roche22]

Left mine because he racked up £12,000 of debt after my parents had previously bailed him out of £10,000.

 

[chocolate choux]

You should never stay with someone who doesn’t respect you. I don’t know if there’s anything deeper going on here but the fact he insults you, then deflects the blame onto you for getting offended is worrying behaviour. You deserve better!

I’ve ended two serious relationships. The first was with the only person I’ve genuinely been in love with. He felt pressured into ending the relationship due to external reasons. A few months later, we rekindled but the situation hadn’t resolved. I was willing to continue the relationship anyway with the condition that he was honest with me. He couldn’t do that, so I left. It was so hard and to this day I love him, but I knew I couldn’t stay

The second one was an abusive relationship I was in for years. Like most abusive relationships, it started off good and very gradually got worse. He put me through hell and it got to the point where I was just existing, not living. I fell pregnant (unplanned) and after a while he eased off with the abuse but there would still be incidents. Hours after the birth, which was traumatic, he was verbally attacking me again. It was only at that point when I knew in my heart he would never respect me. I stayed because I didn’t want to cause any ‘drama’ but then there was an incident in front of our daughter. I had to leave. It was only after leaving that I was able to reflect on just how bad things had been. I’d spent years hyper-alert, always ready for him to get set off by something. I couldn’t look at the bigger picture when my mind was in survival mode. Complete waste of time, huge damage to my mental health, absolutely do not recommend staying with someone who treats you like crap

 

[leon19]

I was in a mentally and physically abusive relationship which I wanted to leave for a while. I then got pregnant so decided to stay and try work things out. He wasn't physically abusive during the pregnancy. When the baby was about 2 weeks old he started going for me again even when i was holding the baby. One day I was sitting peacefully holding the baby and the vile person picked the jug of water up I used to cool the baby's milk down and just chucked it over us both. I know it was just water but it was the final straw for me. I packed our stuff and never went back. He's not seen or spoken to me or my daughter for years now which is for the best.

 

[Sunflower91]

I found out my ex was planning a wedding... not to me, to a girl he’d been seeing for a year (in a completely different country). He had the audacity to beg me to forgive him and not leave him.

 

[KateESJ]

Mine cheated.

But the final straw wasn’t really that he cheated. It was that he was completely against the idea of couples therapy and didn’t seem to care at all about mending our relationship. More came out about everything after we split and I’m so bloody glad I stood up for myself when I did!

And I couldn’t be with someone who uses that word flippantly. Especially directed at me. He’s calling you sensitive for not being okay with being called that? Trash him. You deserve so much better.

 

[Rlaw1978]

curious what was the last straw? sometimes it comes to mind like when mine calls me re*****d for serving him too much gazpacho. When he calls me names like that it really affects me but apparently i'm too sensitive

Mine called me a fing spas*** when I couldn’t hear what he said , being downstairs and him upstairs.
He made me think all men talk to all women like that & I wouldn’t find anyone better.

 

[squarebutton]

Only you know the tone your OH uses when he calls you these things and whether he means it. Me and my bf insult each other all the time, but it's playful - like he'll say something funny and I'll call him a nobhead - that's banter but we fully respect each other.
If he actually means it and says it with the intention of insulting you, that's when it becomes a problem and you need to decide whether it's something you can talk to him about and make him understand how wrong it is and how it makes you feel. Otherwise if he doesn't listen then he's an arsehole and you deserve better.

 

[Keiffers pipe]

One ex cheated and got somebody else pregnant. I left the day I found out never spoke to him since .

 

[Oohthedrama]

curious what was the last straw? sometimes it comes to mind like when mine calls me re*****d for serving him too much gazpacho. When he calls me names like that it really affects me but apparently i'm too sensitive

apparently your other half is a fucking ass hole.

why on earth would you let anyone talk to you like that,
I’m genuinely shocked he thinks it’s acceptable to talk to anyone like that and I’ll tell you this much, he’s be eating his dinner from the bin if he dared utter words like that in my presence, or to me.

not going to advise you on what you should do, not my relationship, but I suggest you don’t take bull shit like that from anyone.

you don’t “deserve better” because nobody deserves this full stop.

I did dump a guy in my early twenties (Kinda regretted it because he was a lovely guy) who went on to have a one night stand and get the girl pregnant with twins

The reason was stupid, We probably could have worked it out,
but like hell was I going back into that burning building

 

[Prodcon21]

Him messaging people on a swinging website on the morning of my Auntie’s funeral...

So hard at the time, but you’ll look back one day and wish you’d left sooner. Hope you’re ok xx

 

[Keiffers pipe]

One ex cheated and got somebody else pregnant. I left the day I found out never spoke to him since .

Luckily his flat mate at the time had the decency to tell me or I may never had found out. He knew where I worked so came in to the shop I was working in and told me we had been together over 3 year .

 

[Phil McCrackin]

Sharing his mums bath water. Fucking hanging

 

[Itsallaboutmememe]

He told me I’d cheated-for the 1001th time
i hadn’t (I swear to god I hadn’t)
(he also supported the bmp-my son is half caste)
but something just snapped and I ended it

it felt like a million bricks had been lifted-I was free

another one ran off with my best mate
it didn’t work out and they’ve both come grovelling back but I told them both to go jump

another one (he’s in the police force) laughed when I hope him I’d been raped-and rang the fella(his mate) to tell him what I’d said!
i can’t prove it (he told me over the phone) but I’ll never forgive him for A.telling him and B.standing by him

im with a top bloke now and I just want to go back and slap me into next week

 

[Mercedes12]

Constant arguing but the final straw was on his actual birthday, instead of spending time with me he went to the pub with his mates to watch the footy. I then found out some girls I vaguely knew were meeting them there and I still hadn’t been invited along.

To clarify, we didn’t really have anything couple-y organised for another day to celebrate. This was the weds and at the weekend he was going away with the lads. He said he could squeeze a meal in with me on the Friday but he didn’t wanna stay over at mine I look back and just laugh at how ridiculous it was that I even went along with it for so long!

 

[Red1234]

Mine called me a fing spas*** when I couldn’t hear what he said , being downstairs and him upstairs.
He made me think all men talk to all women like that & I wouldn’t find anyone better.

I hate this. I'm all for a bit of banter and calling each other idiots in a funny conversation but some things are too far aren't they?! I've been called fat in arguments and told to jump off a bridge!! Why do they think that is an acceptable thing to say?! He says in his job they all talk to each other like shit, shout and scream at each other in stressful situations (won't say what job he does but he see horrible things, no excuse). But he then comes home and thinks he can talk to me like I'm something on his shoe when he's stressed.
I'm still here for the time being, for my own reasons, but as far as I'm concerned relationship has been over a long time and we are just putting up with each other until I can leave and support myself.