From my experience, unhappy parents staying together for their children does far more bad than it ever will good. I hope you find the strength to do what is best for you x
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I'm not close to my family, with the exception of an aunt, nieces and nephews and cousins.
Yet, when one of those who I'm not in contact with - who has been incredibly nasty to me over the years - suddenly finds herself in a dire financial situation, everyone is expected to rally around and help them out (especially me. When I was in my early 20s and on the bones of my butt, those same people told to me take some responsibility for myself and said it's not anyone else's job to bail me out!!
I don't like to see anyone struggling but I know if I give any money to this person, I'll never see it again. I'm not a bank. And I am not a charity.
Yet, when one of those who I'm not in contact with - who has been incredibly nasty to me over the years - suddenly finds herself in a dire financial situation, everyone is expected to rally around and help them out (especially me. When I was in my early 20s and on the bones of my butt, those same people told to me take some responsibility for myself and said it's not anyone else's job to bail me out!!
I don't like to see anyone struggling but I know if I give any money to this person, I'll never see it again. I'm not a bank. And I am not a charity.
Time to unload this one before he crucifies you completely
You are not his slave - you do have a Life of your own to live without being on-call for him 24/7 to finish all the stuff he starts but never finishes or to prop-up his flagging ego to make Him feel better - there are more things in this Life than enduring this sort of rubbish from somone who clearly only cares about Himself.
I used to rubbish this menopause thing until it smacked into me well-and-truly last year, but in another sense it gives one a sense of clarity in what is truly important in Life itself and thats to be Happy and at ease with oneself, not feel like a slave being used by everybody and thoroughly unappreciated. In all honesty its better to be alone than tolerate this crap which I'm pretty sure your children will agree with if you tell them how bad you have felt for decades; It just takes a bit of courage
Mine does that too; I find piles of his manky work clothes all over the place, his boots flung under the stairs not tidily placed there, his fleece thrown on the stairpost, work trousers chucked on the floor by the coatstand, tshirt dumped by the kitchen door then upstairs are his pants & socks deposited on the floor beside the drawers where he's taken clean ones out to wear. Nothing reaches the wash-bin in the utility room unless the Laundry Fairy goes behind him collecting it all up BUT if Laundry Fairy commits a hideous crime and does not wash something he wanted to wear straight away? Well the fuss and hoo-ha is incredible! Its not that he learnt this from his mother trailing about after him when he was a kid either because she did nothing for him as a child - we think she worked in a POW camp such were her maternal instincts LOL - but he simply says "I've had a hard day at work whereas you've been here all day DOING NOTHING............................" You can imagine how that goes downI feel like my partner is the opposite end of this scale... maybe you two would be a perfect match?!
He's allllllllllllllllways glued to his phone. I struggle to get a serious conversation out of him without having to say "will you just put the bleeping phone down for 5 minutes to talk to me!". Or when he does want to talk to me he'll have a video loudly playing on his phone which I've got to try and talk over. It's infuriating!!
Whilst I'm at it I might as well moan about him some more...
He never puts his underwear in the laundry basket, rather he leaves it NEXT to it on the floor.
He eats a bag of crisps or drinks a can of fizzy and the empty can or packet will stay where ever he consumed it. He's not worked out how to put things in the bin. I think he thinks a fairy comes at the end of the day to collect them all.
He never makes the bed if he's last out!! He reckons it's nicer getting into an unmade bed. Weirdo.
He never puts any clothes in the wash, he leaves them on a pile on the floor NEXT to the wardrobe. I'm supposed to know which ones need washing and which need hanging back up.
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I agree; My mother stayed with my arse of an allegéd 'father' for 61 years for some unfathomable reason I'll never understand. Even when she died she got no respite because the bastard went and died three months later
I did ask her once why the hell she'd stayed with him when it was perfectly plain they hated each other yet she had no answer for it, she just said "Thats how it is.........................." to which I said that theres NO WAY I'll ever tolerate what he put her through over the decades of misery. And I didn't; First husband was despatched for those very reasons with a good riddance too !
My biggest gripe is walking the dog or the lead up to it with my husband.
We've had her for nearly a year but he acts shocked everytime I tell him she needs a walk and will moan until he is out of the door. She's walked 3 times a day, I do the first 2 walks of the day as I work from home but the evening walk is the one that causes the issues. Out of the 7 days, my husband does about 1 and that he will moan about.
I normally take her out for her last walk about 9ish when the local park is quiet. There have been numerous occasions where it has got to 9 and I've gently reminded him that the dog needs a walk, to which he has kicked off and insisted that I should have told him sooner
He was the one that pestered for a dog in the first place. I don't understand why it's not common sense to him, especially after all this time, to think to himself that the dog will need walking or why he has to act so surprised by it every time.
Now I've wrote it down it sounds so petty but it drives me insane.
We've had her for nearly a year but he acts shocked everytime I tell him she needs a walk and will moan until he is out of the door. She's walked 3 times a day, I do the first 2 walks of the day as I work from home but the evening walk is the one that causes the issues. Out of the 7 days, my husband does about 1 and that he will moan about.
I normally take her out for her last walk about 9ish when the local park is quiet. There have been numerous occasions where it has got to 9 and I've gently reminded him that the dog needs a walk, to which he has kicked off and insisted that I should have told him sooner
He was the one that pestered for a dog in the first place. I don't understand why it's not common sense to him, especially after all this time, to think to himself that the dog will need walking or why he has to act so surprised by it every time.
Now I've wrote it down it sounds so petty but it drives me insane.
There’s nothing petty about sharing jobs around the house including dog walks. Why does he think it should all be on you. These men are useless honestlyMy biggest gripe is walking the dog or the lead up to it with my husband.
We've had her for nearly a year but he acts shocked everytime I tell him she needs a walk and will moan until he is out of the door. She's walked 3 times a day, I do the first 2 walks of the day as I work from home but the evening walk is the one that causes the issues. Out of the 7 days, my husband does about 1 and that he will moan about.
I normally take her out for her last walk about 9ish when the local park is quiet. There have been numerous occasions where it has got to 9 and I've gently reminded him that the dog needs a walk, to which he has kicked off and insisted that I should have told him sooner
He was the one that pestered for a dog in the first place. I don't understand why it's not common sense to him, especially after all this time, to think to himself that the dog will need walking or why he has to act so surprised by it every time.
Now I've wrote it down it sounds so petty but it drives me insane.
My parents are miserable together,but they will never get divorced. When I was younger I would wish that they would.
It’s exhausting having to put up with the pair of them constantly arguing and fighting.
It’s exhausting having to put up with the pair of them constantly arguing and fighting.
I condole all of you with lazy partners! I can't imagine leaving other people to pick up your dirty clothes.
they are absolutely are not useless. they know exactly what they are doing and it's called "weaponised incompetence". it's not a coincidence that men are sooooo very smart and capable enough to be the leading gender in pretty much all types of careers (including "leading" the country) but suddenly poor little lambs can't use a bin bag? ... mmhmmm
They can use a bin bag. They chose not to use the bin bag. They don’t care about mess. Scruffy little arse holes.
that's my point!! we know their game! and they rely on us to accept it
My twin sister gaslights me all the time. She constantly slags me off to anyone and everyone, family, friends, my boyfriend. She tells me to shut up when in a group setting and makes me the butt of her jokes. When I text her to tell her I don’t appreciate her behaviour towards me she twists it and tells me I’m a nasty piece of work starting arguments out of nothing. I feel like I’m screaming and nothing is coming out.
My sister was always insanely jealous of me so you can imagine her utter joy that she's the one with Two Houses etc etc. However it was her loony daughter that finally completely destroyed our family by making false accusations against our "beloved" father (that the police chucked out as lies) yet stupidly I defended him even though he was a complete arse. Nevertheless in order to keep the peace they all decided to lay the blame on ME even though I live in another country so could not possibly have been responsible for what happened then my kids stood up for me & they got blamed too! End of Family and all because of the nasty, vindictive pernicious liar my sister calls her precious daughter.
I have not spoken to my sister in years apart from a couple of emails after our parents died and I wanted the last of my photos of my children rescued from the house furthermore I have no plans to ever see nor speak to any of them ever again either because its done & dusted as far as I am concerned. FINISHED
I have not spoken to my sister in years apart from a couple of emails after our parents died and I wanted the last of my photos of my children rescued from the house furthermore I have no plans to ever see nor speak to any of them ever again either because its done & dusted as far as I am concerned. FINISHED
I just need too vent!
So me and my partner have twin girls and the past few nights they have been out of routine, not sleeping till 8-9 at night and my partner has been getting mad about it because he can then play his Xbox, I have said too him that they have growing pain and teeth coming through and aren’t always perfect sleepers and he just seems too tbink leaving them too cry is the best idea, I get scared leaving them with him when I go too work incase he does this method as I just think it’s horrible when you know they’re hurting and he’s being so horrible too me recently too, I can’t deal with him, I’ve told him too move out and he came back with that he doesn’t want too! I can’t deal with the way he is any longer!
So me and my partner have twin girls and the past few nights they have been out of routine, not sleeping till 8-9 at night and my partner has been getting mad about it because he can then play his Xbox, I have said too him that they have growing pain and teeth coming through and aren’t always perfect sleepers and he just seems too tbink leaving them too cry is the best idea, I get scared leaving them with him when I go too work incase he does this method as I just think it’s horrible when you know they’re hurting and he’s being so horrible too me recently too, I can’t deal with him, I’ve told him too move out and he came back with that he doesn’t want too! I can’t deal with the way he is any longer!
I wish my parents cared more about their health. I had issues a few months ago with my Mum being poorly but not seeking any help, she just buried her head. At the time my Dad was on my side about pushing her to seek help etc. I saw him at the weekend and noticed a mole on his head which I've never noticed before, so I commented and he told me it appeared 6 months ago but "Mum checks it now and then". When I suggested going to the Drs as a precaution just to be on the safe side I got told I'm a hypochondriac and to stop being a busy body. It's been in the back of my mind ever since, just worrying if it's something sinister. I appreciate he might be worried about it too and that's why he's putting it off, but your health isn't something you can chance.
So my husband was going to the big tesco to get some ingredients for some cooking competitions that some insta page he follows is doing. I asked him to get some cake toppings for the cake I've already made ( he has seen it) . He comes back with bags and bags of irrelevant crap but no cake toppings which he denies I asked him to get . As if we are going to eat a bare , dry cake . So I'm having to go on the hunt and hope our nearby supermarkets sell what I want .
I'm feeling rather petty so I was extremely tempted to drive his car back to tesco in the hope he got a parking fine .
I'm feeling rather petty so I was extremely tempted to drive his car back to tesco in the hope he got a parking fine .
Mine is too busy moaning about the size of the shopping bill this week, ie he's the one loading in giant bags of Malteasers, tons of snacks and desserts, sweets, ice lollies and junk - NOT ME! I don't buy this garbage out of principle because its a waste of money and I can do our weekly shop for far less because I don't buy crap, yet now there he is crowing about how he's got all his rubbish HE LIKES that I refuse to buy for him! Whats the betting half of it will still be in the fridge next week and I end up giving it to the dogs/pigs/chickens?
It probably won't get eaten , either and there's no room in the fridge for things I want to put there.Mine is too busy moaning about the size of the shopping bill this week, ie he's the one loading in giant bags of Malteasers, tons of snacks and desserts, sweets, ice lollies and junk - NOT ME! I don't buy this garbage out of principle because its a waste of money and I can do our weekly shop for far less because I don't buy crap, yet now there he is crowing about how he's got all his rubbish HE LIKES that I refuse to buy for him! Whats the betting half of it will still be in the fridge next week and I end up giving it to the dogs/pigs/chickens?
I'm still fuming that he didn't even ask if I wanted anything from the shop .