´Unhappy´ about..life?

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Felix08

Active member
For a few years now I have had the desire for a boyfriend, someone to share my life with. Im 29 now at it hasnt happend yet.
Some of my friends are still single and I dont think it's a big deal but it is something that I long for.

Do you guys that dont have a boyfriend feel like your life is a bit at a stand still? I just to travel by myself when I was younger all the time but Im done with that now as I became tired of putting an efferot in to meet people and stuff. My preferred holidays now are lying on a beach but I find that a bit boring to do by myself. I do have lots of friends but not all that have the ability to go on holiday with me.

I guess, I just feel lonely even though I have plenty of people around me but in the end of the day youre still just by yourself at home? Didnt help that 10 days ago I tested positive for COVID (all better now!) and was so alone and bored. Just feel like I have so much to give but no one to give it to?

Doesnt help that I also struggle with my weight which is also making me unhappy. It's like I dont have a lot going for me where I can be truly happy about? Except I know Im grateful for family/friends, career and my little flat.

I dont think a boyfriend will sholve all these things but it will help a great deal? Just feels like Im so stuck in life and just going trough the motions or something.
Does anyone ever feel like this? Been feeling this for years.

Sorry for my little rant but you tattlers always have good stories and advice and I feel this is just such a safe space. I need help.

(sorry for mistakes, english isnt my first language and I dont have my contacts in lol)
 

Gloria Roscoe

Active member
I think personally, you need to be in a good headspace before starting a relationship. I think you are suffering from low self-esteem and I think you should consider speaking to your doctor or better still, a therapist about this, especially regarding body confidence.

Do you have any hobbies? There are some groups on Facebook for discussing interests. Some people like arts and crafts, some like playing cards, some like films and music.

In terms of finding a boyfriend. I would say, if you force it, it won't work, it will be too much pressure. Make yourself open to finding a BF and see how it goes. You could also join sites like Plenty Of Fish or Match and treat it as a bit of fun and see where it leads.

Try not to beat yourself up about things. We are living in diffuclt times and I know a lot of people are feeling very down at the moment. You have made some great acheivements in life, career, own place to live. Sometimes people come in to our life when we least expect it.
 

Makeupartist23

New member
Ahh I can relate a little I have just turned 29 I have a fantastic job even though the hours are long the pay is fantastic I have a boyfriend who cares and loves me

however I still live at home mainly due to being comfortable and my mom having health problems so I haven’t been able to move out also I would of thought I would of had kids by now I’ve had multiple miscarriages which has left me feeling like it may never happen for me I have questioned if this is to do with my weight as I Am a larger lady too however too frightened to go to GP about it as I feel he may just say your weight is the problem without trying anything else.

my work life and social life is very unbalanced I have no friends minus the people I work with I work nights 12 hour shifts 5 nights a week so I’m genuinely too exhausted to go out on date nights this has caused a bit of a ripple with family and boyfriend at times.

Sorry for the long message I just want to say your not on your own nobody’s life is perfect 29 is such a odd age where you feel like you should have everything sussed out by now a great job and a little family with a mortgage and it just doesn’t happen like that for everyone your still super young and things can change in a blink of a eye.

whenever I feel low I try to remind myself what I need to be grateful for I wish you well if you ever wanna talk please feel free to message
 

Felix08

Active member
thank for the messages, it really helps.
Sometimes I forget that everyone struggles with certain things and that Im not the only one even though sometimes it feels like it.

I have thought about talking to a therapist but for now I dont think that would be an option or the right thing for me but I have looked at a few close by in case I feel like I would need to.

I do think if I lose the weight, need to lose 15kg for health reasons, I would feel so much better!

Regars to hobbies, I feel like there just isnt something I would enjoy? I do enjoy doing things dont get me wrong but not something I would consider a hobby.

Ahh I can relate a little I have just turned 29 I have a fantastic job even though the hours are long the pay is fantastic I have a boyfriend who cares and loves me

however I still live at home mainly due to being comfortable and my mom having health problems so I haven’t been able to move out also I would of thought I would of had kids by now I’ve had multiple miscarriages which has left me feeling like it may never happen for me I have questioned if this is to do with my weight as I Am a larger lady too however too frightened to go to GP about it as I feel he may just say your weight is the problem without trying anything else.

my work life and social life is very unbalanced I have no friends minus the people I work with I work nights 12 hour shifts 5 nights a week so I’m genuinely too exhausted to go out on date nights this has caused a bit of a ripple with family and boyfriend at times.

Sorry for the long message I just want to say your not on your own nobody’s life is perfect 29 is such a odd age where you feel like you should have everything sussed out by now a great job and a little family with a mortgage and it just doesn’t happen like that for everyone your still super young and things can change in a blink of a eye.

whenever I feel low I try to remind myself what I need to be grateful for I wish you well if you ever wanna talk please feel free to message
Sending you a lot of hugs!
 

Begborrowsteal

VIP Member
I always felt lonely growing up, I had good friends and a good social life, worked hard but did always want that relationship with someone. I did feel happier with a relationship but then lifes ups and downs come along and I realised I just needed to be secure and confident within myself and what I wanted/expected/would allow.

I dont like too much of my own company, I'll always be someone who wants company but I've learnt more about myself. People always say you have to be happy on your own before getting into a relationship and there is truth to that. I'm early 30s now and got into my relationship 10yrs ago.
 

CherryAcid

Well-known member
I've been single for like 7 years now and I told myself after my last relationship that I wouldnt get with anyone unless I was happy in myself. I'm still not there, I have things i want to work on before embarking on a relationship. Also I am very picky about what I am looking for, I have seen so many people just settle for anyone and I dont want that. I would rather be on my own than be with someone I wasnt crazy about.
I do love being single as I can travel and do what I like but a big part of me wants to meet someone to share my life with. i dont want kids but I would like to be married someday. I tell myself it is okay if I dont meet anyone but deep down I know I would be gutted if i didnt,
I have been feeling lately that I might be open to chatting to men but I hate the idea of online dating as my last bf was a result of that and he cheated on me so it has put me off but I know its a good way to filter through people. Also I am 36 soon and I feel like I'm too old for Tinder and most sites are for younger people?

Also I'm fairly happy in my job as it pays for my travlling but I feel like my true passion is writing but I just never get around to doing it. I keep imagining I will get there one day but I have to actually start and I feel like time is passing so fast.
 

tskiry56

Active member
Speaking from my own experience you don’t need a boyfriend to make you happy.
4 years ago from the outside you would of thought I was happy in a relationship with a young child and our own home. But I was hiding domestic violence. I wasn’t happy and hadn’t been for years.
I was then on my own for 2 years before I met my current boyfriend but in those 2 years I learnt so much about myself and how to be happy in my own company.
Maybe seek support from a counsellor as it will make you see your life in a different light.
 

Raininvain

Well-known member
If you really want a boyfriend then I would strongly recommend doing activities that attract a lot of men. If you join things like kayaking/climbing/fell running/ outdoors type clubs then there's a lot more men than women. I know things are not very good at the moment with groups and all that, but things cannot stay like this forever.
If you go with an open mind who knows what may come of it, at least you will be out doing things and getting fit etc and meeting people. Also lots of relationships are not all they are cracked upto be. I don't know anyone who's stayed with their partner long term really and been really happy.
 

blossombloss

Well-known member
I'd agree with what Raininvain said. Particularly about relationships, they are not all they are cracked up to be. I'm 29 also and have been with my boyfriend for two years and I do love him but sometimes it's hard work and I miss the ease of just thinking about me! I think please make sure you continue to do things that make you happy, your not at a standstill because you don't have a relationship! In any case when you are in a relationship there will be points when you are just going through the motions.
But yeah definitely try things to meet men and make sure you're happy in yourself overall, also you're a catch with the flat and friends and a job. I know weight issues can be a struggle (I have that myself) but the right guy won't care honestly, they'll love you for you so make sure you're the one that's happy in your body.
 

Felix08

Active member
If you really want a boyfriend then I would strongly recommend doing activities that attract a lot of men. If you join things like kayaking/climbing/fell running/ outdoors type clubs then there's a lot more men than women. I know things are not very good at the moment with groups and all that, but things cannot stay like this forever.
If you go with an open mind who knows what may come of it, at least you will be out doing things and getting fit etc and meeting people. Also lots of relationships are not all they are cracked upto be. I don't know anyone who's stayed with their partner long term really and been really happy.
Those activities is a really good advice! I had been looking in that beginning COVID
I know a lot of relationships fail but it's nice to just try it out and meet people. Right? I do know I would feel a little bit less lonely then.
 
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