Toddler advice thread

[WhatABore]

Soz in advance for the mumsnet length of this question and the answer is probably really obvious but we are STRUGGLING with our 2 year old and bed time. He could be the most tired human on earth and he’ll still piss around for hours before going to sleep (Mr Sailor has cooked us a lovely romantic meal tonight and we ended up eating at 9:30 because he took so long to settle despite getting him bathed etc and in bed by 7:30)!

We have cut back his nap to 1-1.5 hours ending at 3pm and no later, he has to have a nap otherwise his night time sleep is atrocious and his day time attitude is ratty as hell from about 1pm onwards. He has no screens easily from about 4pm, tbh probably earlier if any at all if we’re out all day. No sugary snacks/anything that I’d say would make him hyperactive, especially in the evening. We attempt to wear him out as much as possible with a couple of hours of fresh air at least in the day, keeping him stimulated etc. It’s not even a case of him going to bed too early, he usually wakes for the day anytime from 7 onwards and he is usually “knackered” by 6 so we start bedtime then.

Our routine is:
5pm - dinner
6pm - up to bed, bit of playtime while I get everything sorted for bed, bath, book, listen to a short audiobook in bed, then bedtime meditation/mindfulness on the yoto box, then lights out and sleep time

My eldest goes to bed beautifully but my 2yo is just standing up, throwing his duvet covers off, trying to get out of bed, jumping up and down trying to wake his brother up etc etc. HEEEEELP! We’ve just had a baby so sorting him one handed his tricky as. Any advice pls help

Only thing I would suggest is moving his nap back and limiting to an hour.

That's the only thing that worked with my first when he napped.
Had to have nap around lunch and a maximum of an hour. I was very strict about it

We had to introduce the gro clock too to keep him in bed.
It took a looooot of patience but eventually he stopped getting out of bed and messing around

 

[Jellybean093]

I was really lucky with my middle son. A couple of months after his 2nd birthday said he didn’t want to wear nappies and then not long after that he got a sore throat, which was being made worse with the dummies and gave them up. My 2 year old is not interested in giving up nappies, dummies or his cot

 

[Wishwash]

Soz in advance for the mumsnet length of this question and the answer is probably really obvious but we are STRUGGLING with our 2 year old and bed time. He could be the most tired human on earth and he’ll still piss around for hours before going to sleep (Mr Sailor has cooked us a lovely romantic meal tonight and we ended up eating at 9:30 because he took so long to settle despite getting him bathed etc and in bed by 7:30)!

We have cut back his nap to 1-1.5 hours ending at 3pm and no later, he has to have a nap otherwise his night time sleep is atrocious and his day time attitude is ratty as hell from about 1pm onwards. He has no screens easily from about 4pm, tbh probably earlier if any at all if we’re out all day. No sugary snacks/anything that I’d say would make him hyperactive, especially in the evening. We attempt to wear him out as much as possible with a couple of hours of fresh air at least in the day, keeping him stimulated etc. It’s not even a case of him going to bed too early, he usually wakes for the day anytime from 7 onwards and he is usually “knackered” by 6 so we start bedtime then.

Our routine is:
5pm - dinner
6pm - up to bed, bit of playtime while I get everything sorted for bed, bath, book, listen to a short audiobook in bed, then bedtime meditation/mindfulness on the yoto box, then lights out and sleep time

My eldest goes to bed beautifully but my 2yo is just standing up, throwing his duvet covers off, trying to get out of bed, jumping up and down trying to wake his brother up etc etc. HEEEEELP! We’ve just had a baby so sorting him one handed his tricky as. Any advice pls help

I agree on capping the nap and finishing it before 2pm. Also maybe limiting it to no more than 90 minutes? By the time my son was two years 4 months I was capping the nap at an hour, he's not two years 6 months and has completely dropped it. Does he wake really early?

 

[Definitelyme]

I did think this too! He gets tired after dinner then suddenly he’s completely wired again so I think if he’s showing tired signs later earlier then I’ll try and get him to sleep earlier - easier said than done though isn’t it thanks lovely xx

So much easier said than done, especially when you’re juggling multiple kids at bedtime

 

[GlennCoco]

Yeah we do that already with the old phone she uses in the car. Have a bunch of stuff on Disney and netflex predownloaded. It's great until you drive off and realise they all need redownloading .

@nurseren mentioned that the kindle fire can't be used without WiFi.
Which I know some things are that way. That you can't even access apps ect without WiFi connection.

So if that's the same, you wouldn't even be able to access the tablet and apps without being connected

Ah sorry I've read half a conversation and just jumped in with my big mouth

MiniGlenCoco's tablet is the Amazon Fire tablet for kids though so not sure if that's the same as what @nurserewas talking about?

 

[miamae]

Those of you with toddlers at nursery how do you manage potty training both at home and nursery? I work 4 days a week so I'm planning to start my 2 year old on my day off on Weds, do you think his nursery would be fine implementing it there? My eldest was potty trained in 3 days (no idea how, she just cracked it) and that was 6 years ago so it feels all new to me!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I’m SO stressed out. My daughter (2.5) is still taking forever to go for a nap, she was shattered at half 12 and after lunch she went straight to bed. She’s been fuming for 30 mins, messing around, now she’s sobbing and overtired. I was meant to not let her sleep past half 1 but that’s out the window today!! Bedtime should be 8pm and if she sleeps past half 1 bedtime is gunna be half 8-9pm. I am fed up. I can’t get the balance right at all and for the first time in her life it’s a mess. We’ve had a busy morning at role play and she was tired but now she’s overtired and moody, bedtime will be a disaster!

If I let her nap for half an hour she will be livid and the afternoon will just be a write off and that’s not fair on anyone. Bedtime being late means she’s gunna be tired tomorrow as she’s at nursery so have to be up at usual time half 6!! I just can’t win.

She’s still having 2 naps every day?
First off try to relax a bit. I know it seems stressful but just take a breather. It just sounds like she’s not needing the afternoon nap. I know you are worrying that she’s going to be moody etc through the afternoon if she doesn’t get a nap, and yeah maybe she will be for a day or two but she’s at an age where she’s probably not needing 2 structured scheduled naps. Fair enough if she dozes off after lunch for a snooze but I think you might have to just admit defeat now with the second nap of the day, deal with the huff for a few days while she gets used to the new routine and crack on. There is zero point in stressing yourself out like this over it.

 

[Jellybean093]

Thanks ladies, I know you’re all right. I ideally wanted to do this over the Easter hols but I’ve been ill. The crying and getting out of bed lasted from 7 till 8:10 which I don’t think was too bad?! I’m in bed now anyway, ready fo deal with the inevitable nighttime chaos

Does she have a nightlight? You may have said

 

[watermelon sugar]

He may be getting hungry. Does he have snack or anything to eat before he goes up to bed?

I usually give him a biscuit to have with his milk

 

[al255]

If it’s any consolation @al255 I’ve been trying to get my 2.3 year old to sleep since 7 and he’s still awake 🥲 these toddlers just like to test us

soooo frustrating isn’t it! I try and not get annoyedwith it all but I’m a single parent so I can’t hand over to anyone!! Hope he goes to sleep soon x

 

[WhatABore]

Hey looking for some tips please!

hoping to move our 2 year old from cot to bed next weekend (Easter weekend, bank holidays = doesn’t matter if he doesn’t sleep as no work ) and wanting advice to make it easy as possible! Do we go for a bed guard or has anybody used a bumper under the cover? Thank you

The same with everyone else really with keeping them as involved as possible.
I let her choose the bedding we bought for their bed and kept them there when we set it up.
A gro clock is a good idea too

 

[WhatABore]

Has everybody had a 2 year review for their toddlers?

We saw our health visitor a grand total of once during lockdown and never had any interaction since. Just been invited for a 2 year review but I’m at work and I can’t be bothered waiting in on my day off for them to be honest as it’s our day together and we go out and do fun things so I’m going to cancel it. Am I actually missing anything? I have no concerns about my little one

We never got a 2 year review
Was before Covid too so that wasn't a reason

 

[WhatABore]

Yeah she does, it’s on x

Could you try a gro clock?
So she knows she has to wait for the clock to change to yellow before she can get up?

 

[OIM]

I need some night training advice. My 4.5 yr old is the BEST sleeper but still in a nappy at night. She’s very keen to try to be dry but her room is completely pitch black at night. We tried a nightlight she squeezes to turn on next to a potty but she said it was too dark to find it. Does anyone have any genius ideas of ways she can get it light enough to use a potty?

 

[al255]

Hi all Looking for some advice regarding my 2 year old constantly saying everything is hers.

If I’m eating my breakfast she will say MINE and try and snatch. She knows not to snatch with me and ask for some.. she really kicks off if she doesn’t get her own way there and then!?

She is awful with it, so fast forward to nursery (she’s been going since she was 8 months old, 2 days a week), the last few months everything is MINE.

She won’t let anyone else sit where she has sat and it’s just awful. Nursery told me she’s not getting any better.

She’s an only child and she shares with me, we go to plenty of toddler groups the days shes not at nursery and she’s ok there. Any advice?? Nursery just say it’s her age but it’s just abit urgh when they’ve told me she’s been snatching again x

 

[Definitelyme]

I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for a fussy/picky/little eater? My 21 month old just really isn’t keen on food. She has never had a massive appetite but I’ve really seen it plummet since about 17/18 months old. She never finishes whatever we give her, sometimes refuses and pushes a plate away before she has even tried food, and will regularly have 3-5 mouthfuls before stopping. This is even after moaning for her dinner. I also feel I’ve fallen in to a slump of what to give her as she just seems to reject everything and im honestly stuck with what to give. If the girl could live on crackers and crisps she would!! Frustratingly she eats fine at nursery where she is 3 days a week….I mirror their times so she is a consistent routine but she still seems to eat more there! Apparently my mum said I was exactly the same when I was a toddler so maybe it’s karma/genetics having a joke on me but being serious, meal times fill me with dread and have become my least favourite part of parenting.
So basically does anyone have any advice or tips on how to weather the storm? Any books that are good or recipe books I could try to help? Thank you!

Some really great advice already given. A few things I would suggest are
- get her involved in food prep, every food exposure is a good one even if it’s just touch
- never talk about good food/bad food, healthy food etc. It’s all just food
- follow “family snack nutritionist” on Instagram and YouTube. This is her area of speciality
- Never worry if a child doesn’t finish their food. You’ve decided on their portion with no true knowledge of how hungry they are, so let them be in charge of how much they eat. Look up “Division of responsibility”, it’s been touched on above
- Sometimes I notice mine aren’t eating something in particular I would do something like “whoa my cucumber makes a really crunchy sound when I bite it. I wonder if yours does?” Sometimes they’ll play ball, and sometimes not. Either way is fine.
- I think 3-5 mouthfuls is actually great! We all have huge expectations of what children should eat, but in reality their needs are actually quite small
- focus on making sure snack times are really nutritious foods as well, not just mealtimes

Can I ask what age others put their little ones into a toddler bed from cot? My boy is 19 months old and recently when it comes to going into his cot at nighttime all hell breaks loose. He winds down really well, bath pjs then we sit in his chair to read some books whilst he has a cup of milk but then as soon as I go to put him into his cot he starts crying his heart out, a couple of occasions gripping onto the side to try and stop me lowering him in which broke my heart. I had a thought would it be easier if we moved to settling him in a bed so we would lie in there with him whilst he has milk and a story then leave when he’s pretty much asleep with a night light on, or is he too young yet? I feel like he’s old enough now to realise pitch black room in the cot the opposite of relaxing if that makes sense? Almost frightening for him?

My oldest son was 20 months when we moved him to a floor bed. I’d lie with him until he fell asleep then slip away

 

[al255]

Yes.
What’s her bedtime routine like? What time does she have dinner?

I would try an hours nap and up by 1pm.

Dinnner at 5pm

quiet play until 6.45pm

up for a bath, teeth washed, into jammies etc and then straight into bed - snuggle down to read a book with her etc - no playing after bathtime, no tv, no screens and keep everything very quiet and chilled.

She won’t go to sleep at 12pm. It’s 1pm at the moment even if she’s up at 6. So its been like this today:

1pm-2:15pm (nap)
Playtime tv etc
Tea at 5:15pm (a bit later as I found if I did it earlier she was starving by bedtime lol)
Bath straight after tea 6:15ish usually
Then dried, little bit of tv, cereal, teeth and soon as cereal is finished it’s into her room (no tv etc) to read a book, this is generally at 7:45pm and she used to take 15 mins to settle down but I’m going to put her into bed at 7:30pm instead to give her the extra 15 mins to settle down.

I’ll shift everything back by 15 mins anyway after nap time. She’s my first child so I literally am like wtf One hour nap I can cope with, however she doesn’t sleep well in the car. But then saying that we are usually out and about all morning doing something so it’s home for her our lunch and then naptime at 1 so I don’t really need her to nap in the car. Generally we are local whenever we do stuff!

 

[WhatABore]

When did everyone move their LOs into their own room?

Just wondering really...I've seen some people do it at 4, 6 and 12 months and others 2 years.

Personally, my LB is still with us but we will be looking to transition into his own room very soon

I read this as bed and not room sorry.

6 months for their own room.

My second. Just after she turned 2. Because she broke her cot
She transitioned so well though

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I had a travel cot in the room and she slept in it the first night as she was exhausted but after that she didn’t want to, she climbed out yeah I’m just feeling so tired today! She’s in a right mood again and I dunno what’s going on with her, about to leave to go to the pool and she’s had a meltdown over getting dressed even though she said pool clothes to me. Had enough today we’ve had abit more of a chilled morning but I refuse to sit in the apartment all day abroad!

Is she drinking enough water??

 

[Snippysnips]

Could you try freezing things like watermelon? Turns them into a soothing but healthy snack. Cucumber is great and soothing for gums too. Sounds like you’re doing the right thing, don’t worry too much about eating when they’re teething - small kids can live off air if they want to! Xx

Thanks, that's been my biggest worry is the not eating, she's still drinking but I've been a bit worried with food, ill try some cucumber an see how she gets on, we have some of those soft bakes but she isn't even wanting those or her yougurts