Toddler advice thread #5

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We were never allowed to babysit. The owner put it in our and the parents contracts when we started. Think she was worried we’d get poached as a nanny. Which did happen to me 😂 I always used to babysit. Helped when I was only on £11k a year
Yeah we were never allowed to either, was in our contracts as well as our nursery policy. A fair few did it on the sly though just never told the manager.
 
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My sister used to get a lot of jobs via Bubble. I think she still uses it. I used childcare.co.uk too when I used to look after kids and got a couple of after school ones. I have also found a childminder on childcare
Thanks, I'll have a look on childcare.co.uk. We use a childminder but she has zero interest in doing extra gigs 😂 I get it but she would be my go to if she did extra babysitting jobs.

The staff at Big Biscuit's after school club are brilliant but I don't think they'd be allowed to do extra jobs. It's a big company in the local area and I wouldn't be surprised if they had a "no extra jobs" clause in their contracts.
 
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Made spinach banana muffins tonight for three year olds lunch tomorrow. Made 24 mini muffins and she ate 12 after dinner 🤣 She didn’t actually eat any dinner because she wanted them but 🤷‍♀️ I’m taking it as a win.
We made them together so she knew it had spinach and eggs in there which she’d not normally eat.

She probably won’t want any tomorrow now 🤣
 
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Think I'm due a move over from the boddler thread cos my child is a full on toddler now 🤣

So a change in work circumstances is forcing me back into work 9-5 5 days a week. I currently work 6 hours, 4 days a week.
Because of this toddler gravy is having to go nursery full time (she went for literally 2 days when she was 10 months old, and she HATED it so we made other arrangements but I think it has really scarred me) I'm absolutely dreading her going and thinking I've abandoned her 😭 she hopefully won't be there full days every day because my partner works shifts so he can take her later/pick her up earlier depending on what shift he's doing. But I just feel like I'm hardly going to see her and she's going to hate me. What if she's miserable like she was the first time?! (I've got her into a different nursery which is from 2+ years and best rating in my area, kinda hoped that would make me feel better but hasn't).
Not even sure what advice I'm asking but hoping someone else understands 😭
 
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Think I'm due a move over from the boddler thread cos my child is a full on toddler now 🤣

So a change in work circumstances is forcing me back into work 9-5 5 days a week. I currently work 6 hours, 4 days a week.
Because of this toddler gravy is having to go nursery full time (she went for literally 2 days when she was 10 months old, and she HATED it so we made other arrangements but I think it has really scarred me) I'm absolutely dreading her going and thinking I've abandoned her 😭 she hopefully won't be there full days every day because my partner works shifts so he can take her later/pick her up earlier depending on what shift he's doing. But I just feel like I'm hardly going to see her and she's going to hate me. What if she's miserable like she was the first time?! (I've got her into a different nursery which is from 2+ years and best rating in my area, kinda hoped that would make me feel better but hasn't).
Not even sure what advice I'm asking but hoping someone else understands 😭
I think it’s very hard initially, but they will adjust and nursery is great for little ones in preparation for school.

My eldest went to nursery from 5.5 months as I had no choice and my youngest will go soon too.

make the most of your time you have together that’s the only thing I can tell you; pick up from nursery was for me always special and fun, so enjoy the bonding time. I think it’s great your partner can drop early or pick up late, but your little one will adjust - I had days when I went to collect and my little girl would tell me she wasn’t finished playing 😂

I do think it’s a little bit harder for toddlers in starting nursery but I saw lots of children starting nursery in the 4 years mine went and they all did adjust and enjoy their time there x
 
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I think it’s very hard initially, but they will adjust and nursery is great for little ones in preparation for school.

My eldest went to nursery from 5.5 months as I had no choice and my youngest will go soon too.

make the most of your time you have together that’s the only thing I can tell you; pick up from nursery was for me always special and fun, so enjoy the bonding time. I think it’s great your partner can drop early or pick up late, but your little one will adjust - I had days when I went to collect and my little girl would tell me she wasn’t finished playing 😂

I do think it’s a little bit harder for toddlers in starting nursery but I saw lots of children starting nursery in the 4 years mine went and they all did adjust and enjoy their time there x
Thank you. Tbh I think she is ready for it and would benefit from some wee pals so hopefully that helps 🙈
 
Think I'm due a move over from the boddler thread cos my child is a full on toddler now 🤣

So a change in work circumstances is forcing me back into work 9-5 5 days a week. I currently work 6 hours, 4 days a week.
Because of this toddler gravy is having to go nursery full time (she went for literally 2 days when she was 10 months old, and she HATED it so we made other arrangements but I think it has really scarred me) I'm absolutely dreading her going and thinking I've abandoned her 😭 she hopefully won't be there full days every day because my partner works shifts so he can take her later/pick her up earlier depending on what shift he's doing. But I just feel like I'm hardly going to see her and she's going to hate me. What if she's miserable like she was the first time?! (I've got her into a different nursery which is from 2+ years and best rating in my area, kinda hoped that would make me feel better but hasn't).
Not even sure what advice I'm asking but hoping someone else understands 😭
My 3.5 year old initially went to nursery for a day, then 2 and she was with my dad for a day. Now she goes 3 days and from September it will be 3.5 days at nursery and half a day with my Dad! I was worried at first but needs must - my job is getting busier and winter is tit with my child who hates being inside! She’s been fine with the transition with upping the days.

Give it time - she swapped nurseries december 2021 and she went from 2 to 3 days and she was fine. We see it as a huge change but her nursery told me they don’t notice and a lot of kids go full time and cope well! Mini A goes 7:30am to 5:45pm 3 days a week and from September she will go Thursdays 12pm-5:45pm. Nursery told me alot of her friends go full time so as she knows the kids who will be there with her it’s not much difference.
 
Think I'm due a move over from the boddler thread cos my child is a full on toddler now 🤣

So a change in work circumstances is forcing me back into work 9-5 5 days a week. I currently work 6 hours, 4 days a week.
Because of this toddler gravy is having to go nursery full time (she went for literally 2 days when she was 10 months old, and she HATED it so we made other arrangements but I think it has really scarred me) I'm absolutely dreading her going and thinking I've abandoned her 😭 she hopefully won't be there full days every day because my partner works shifts so he can take her later/pick her up earlier depending on what shift he's doing. But I just feel like I'm hardly going to see her and she's going to hate me. What if she's miserable like she was the first time?! (I've got her into a different nursery which is from 2+ years and best rating in my area, kinda hoped that would make me feel better but hasn't).
Not even sure what advice I'm asking but hoping someone else understands 😭
What hours is she going to be going and how old is she ? 2?
Maybe she won’t like it at first but I’m sure she’ll settle. Nursery is really good for them.
mine went for the first time at 2 years old. Before that he was at my mums from 7 months when I went back to work. Now he goes 5 days a week and is 4. Starting school In sept I work 4 days a week but my day off changes each week so some weeks I have 2 days off in the week and don’t get Saturdays with him. I used to feel guilty and some days I still feel guilty dropping him off at nursery when I’m going home to do nothing 🙈 but he enjoys every day
 
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What hours is she going to be going and how old is she ? 2?
Maybe she won’t like it at first but I’m sure she’ll settle. Nursery is really good for them.
mine went for the first time at 2 years old. Before that he was at my mums from 7 months when I went back to work. Now he goes 5 days a week and is 4. Starting school In sept I work 4 days a week but my day off changes each week so some weeks I have 2 days off in the week and don’t get Saturdays with him. I used to feel guilty and some days I still feel guilty dropping him off at nursery when I’m going home to do nothing 🙈 but he enjoys every day
She will be going from 8-5 but with my partner's shifts that won't be the same every week so one week it'll be 12-5 , the next 8-3 and then 8-5 one in every 3 weeks.
She will literally have just turned 2, two weeks before starting 🙈
I'm really hoping she does enjoy it, she seems quite social generally
 
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Hello lovely Tattlers. Firstly, it there is a better thread to post this in someone please let me know!
i am so excited to be moving back to the UK mid next year but I’m crunching numbers and how the heck do people afford nursery for more than one kid. I’ll have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old when we move but even with 30 hours I’ll be paying around £2,500 a month. How do people afford it? 😩 it doesnt even seem to vary much if I look at somewhere like Teddington vs Farnham. Are these just expensive areas? That’s with the tax free allocation accounted for too
 
When does your 4 year old start school? Are they eligible for the free 30 hours? Have you factored in the new childcare hours starting in 2024?

Childcare costs are what stopped me from returning to work with my first. I would have been working to pay for childcare. It is so expensive, and I wouldn’t begrudge it so much if it actually went to the people looking after our children!
 
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When does your 4 year old start school? Are they eligible for the free 30 hours? Have you factored in the new childcare hours starting in 2024?

Childcare costs are what stopped me from returning to work with my first. I would have been working to pay for childcare. It is so expensive, and I wouldn’t begrudge it so much if it actually went to the people looking after our children!
Yup he would get the 30 hours, he would have just turned 4 when we move. I can’t even wrap my head around him starting school yet 😢 if his birthday is in May would he start when he is 5 or 4? I have so much research to do!

it’s such a gross thing to profit from isn’t it
 
Yup he would get the 30 hours, he would have just turned 4 when we move. I can’t even wrap my head around him starting school yet 😢 if his birthday is in May would he start when he is 5 or 4? I have so much research to do!

it’s such a gross thing to profit from isn’t it
He starts school when he is 4, turning 5 that year, so if you move back in May when he’s 4, he’ll start big school in September
I think Farnham is slightly cheaper. Not 100% though
If the new childcare hours come in, the 2yo will be entitled to 15 free hours (as long as you both work) from Sept 2025 children from 9mths will be entitled to 30hrs, but yours should be entitled before then
 
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Yup he would get the 30 hours, he would have just turned 4 when we move. I can’t even wrap my head around him starting school yet 😢 if his birthday is in May would he start when he is 5 or 4? I have so much research to do!

it’s such a gross thing to profit from isn’t it
The bonkers thing is that they don’t really profit from it, nurseries are closing all the time as the £ the gov gives them for funded hours is less than it costs to deliver. At the min they cross subsidise from paid hours, but as free hours roll out the margins will be even thinner.

Will you/your partner be working straight away? Any extra weeks you can wait might help you build up a bit of a balance in your tax free childcare account.
 
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Good morning everyone. 👋
I've come here as it doesn't seem judgy, and I need some help.
My little BNBNs are being quite difficult lately, lots of shouting fighting and aggression (the joys of boys maybe?) and I'm finding I am screaming shouting and working myself up a lot.
So my issue, I do not want to be the screaming mum who's always feeling angry and flustered, but I find when I try a more gentle route of explaining getting to their level etc they won't listen to me at all. I'm wondering if maybe they're just not getting that parent enough? 😔
We are a very loving house, it's just mother BN and babies we have lots of love yous cuddles and quality time but the bad behavior is getting more regular lately.

Basically, does anyone have any advice on how to switch from shouting to a more gentle route? Has anyone been through this and found a difference in their children? I understand they are probably shouting because I do monkey see monkey do I guess.

Sorry for the long one, hopeful for a response. Have a lovely Wednesday ❤
 
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Good morning everyone. 👋
I've come here as it doesn't seem judgy, and I need some help.
My little BNBNs are being quite difficult lately, lots of shouting fighting and aggression (the joys of boys maybe?) and I'm finding I am screaming shouting and working myself up a lot.
So my issue, I do not want to be the screaming mum who's always feeling angry and flustered, but I find when I try a more gentle route of explaining getting to their level etc they won't listen to me at all. I'm wondering if maybe they're just not getting that parent enough? 😔
We are a very loving house, it's just mother BN and babies we have lots of love yous cuddles and quality time but the bad behavior is getting more regular lately.

Basically, does anyone have any advice on how to switch from shouting to a more gentle route? Has anyone been through this and found a difference in their children? I understand they are probably shouting because I do monkey see monkey do I guess.

Sorry for the long one, hopeful for a response. Have a lovely Wednesday ❤
I thoughy BNBN was a mumsnet word for twins until I clocked your username 😂

I can’t give advice, because I am a shouty mum. I really try to be calm, but these kids run rings around me, and sometimes I really just need to shout at them to stop. I’m definitely not one to judge on this!
 
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Good morning everyone. 👋
I've come here as it doesn't seem judgy, and I need some help.
My little BNBNs are being quite difficult lately, lots of shouting fighting and aggression (the joys of boys maybe?) and I'm finding I am screaming shouting and working myself up a lot.
So my issue, I do not want to be the screaming mum who's always feeling angry and flustered, but I find when I try a more gentle route of explaining getting to their level etc they won't listen to me at all. I'm wondering if maybe they're just not getting that parent enough? 😔
We are a very loving house, it's just mother BN and babies we have lots of love yous cuddles and quality time but the bad behavior is getting more regular lately.

Basically, does anyone have any advice on how to switch from shouting to a more gentle route? Has anyone been through this and found a difference in their children? I understand they are probably shouting because I do monkey see monkey do I guess.

Sorry for the long one, hopeful for a response. Have a lovely Wednesday ❤
I too admit to having moments of shoutyness. You could look up Janet Lansbury for some tips? I found understanding the “why” actually helped me not be shouty at them, and trying to be firm when they blatantly disregard you is so hard!
 
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What clubs do your toddlers do? My 3 year old is currently on the waiting list for football club and swimming lessons. Struggling what else to look into while we wait for places 🤔
 
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