I know this is a useless thing to say haha, but I don’t think there’s anything to feel guilty about. You have to work to earn a living to feed her and clothe her and keep her housed, and even if you didn’t need to work financially, you are still allowed to work and have an identity outside of being a mum. I had to go back to work when she was 6 months, and the first couple of days I felt a bit guilty but since then, not at all
it’s not a choice, I have to work, so there doesn’t seem to be much pointing wasting the energy feeling guilty about it, although of course society likes to make sure we feel nice and guilty regardless of whether we go to work or stay at home, so we’re just conditioned to feel guilty either way. If you step back and think about it though, there’s nothing to feel guilty about, if you’ve got to work you’ve got to work! Sounds like she has a great time at nursery too, and the longer week will get her nice and ready for school!
I feel guilty (sorry didn’t put this) cos I don’t have to work an extra day, but I just find winter at home with her honestly so boring and draining. The days are long and I just had a thought of - oh put her in nursery the extra day, it’ll give me a day to work half a day , more money and then the other half of the day, food shop/gym/cleaning.. but so many of my friends have said it’s the final winter I’ll have with her but she just needs stimulating all day. We could do a toddler group in the morning and then what
it’s just iPad, or colouring, or playing with toys.. in my head I think well does it really matter what we do as long as we are together and she’s getting the extra time.. and then on the other hand I just think about how many more tantrums she has when it’s chucking it down, and she doesn’t really like soft play, sea life centre is over and done with, role play centres we’ve done and still do, it just feels rinse and repeat.. sorry this is gunna be a longgggg message!! (Getting it all out lol)
My thought process is:
Change her nursery to a cheaper nursery, when work is busy and there’s the days for me to do extra she’s got a place and it’s not really costing me much more. I can easily take her out of nursery for that day and wouldn’t think about the cost - go and do something fun.
My problem - she’s really happy and settled at her nursery, she’s been going since December 2021 and she loves it, she’s made solid friendships and it’s twinned with the primary school she will be going to, most of the kids who go that nursery will be in her year at school too. She loves the staff and I never have any issues.
She can make new friends, not the end of the world? Kids are adaptable.. she is! I’d do some settling in sessions anyway and if she really didn’t like it then no harm done.
I just wish her current nursery didn’t charge so much.
The nursery I’m thinking of sending her too it would be £324 a month with the child tax free childcare for 4 days, all year round. And if I didn’t want to send her on the Thursday it’s no big deal and we could do something if I didn’t need to do any extra at work - I’d only do extra at work in a morning as that’s the busiest times really. My plan was to do 7:45am to 12 on an ad hoc basis depending on how busy my role gets over the next few months..
I also wouldn’t really see her on a weekend if she goes to her dads on Saturday and Sunday then I’m not really with her all week apart from Wednesdays
just urghhhhh!!
it’s frustrating like you say. I kept asking him do you need a wee and he kept saying no and then he did a nice yellow wee eventually 
just don’t know what to do for the best.. I need to do more at work as my role is developing but mum guilt that she won’t spend an extra day with me but when she’s bored and fed up her behaviour is worse and trying to find things to do every Thursday is a lot hard work 
