Toddler advice thread #4

[al255]

In Spain atm and I’m not shocked at how many school kids there are. I don’t blame parents for taking them out. I’m talking 7, 8 year olds!

I got talking to a lady and she said well school close atleast 5 days a year for inset days so what’s the difference between that and my child being sat at home bored watching tv! Not to mention strikes.

mini A starts school next September so May 2025 we will come away in May like we usually do. It’s cheaper to pay the £120 fine and come abroad than it is to go in school hols.

does anyone else take their kids out for hols?

 

[WhatABore]

In Spain atm and I’m not shocked at how many school kids there are. I don’t blame parents for taking them out. I’m talking 7, 8 year olds!

I got talking to a lady and she said well school close atleast 5 days a year for inset days so what’s the difference between that and my child being sat at home bored watching tv! Not to mention strikes.

mini A starts school next September so May 2025 we will come away in May like we usually do. It’s cheaper to pay the £120 fine and come abroad than it is to go in school hols.

does anyone else take their kids out for hols?

We used to when we just had 1 in school as we'd get a week at haven for about £150! Where as looking at May next year in the holidays, it's about £750! So I can see why people would much rather pay the fines as it makes it cheaper still!

Now we've got 2 in school we haven't this year with it being her first year.
I personally think a week on holiday/abroad is more benefit to them than the week in school (obviously providing it's not exams ect)

If your daughter is still 4 by the time you go away (or before the term after their 5th) you won't be fined anyway

 

[al255]

We used to when we just had 1 in school as we'd get a week at haven for about £150! Where as looking at May next year in the holidays, it's about £750! So I can see why people would much rather pay the fines as it makes it cheaper still!

Now we've got 2 in school we haven't this year with it being her first year.
I personally think a week on holiday/abroad is more benefit to them than the week in school (obviously providing it's not exams ect)

If your daughter is still 4 by the time you go away (or before the term after their 5th) you won't be fined anyway

She is 4 in January, starts school September next year and we would go away May 2025 - I’ll be fined won’t i?

I defo wouldn’t take her away near exams or SATS etc..! We do haven in school hols anyway so it’s just our May hol. I don’t get why schools don’t allow 5 days of absence to go away for a week or in the uk when it doesn’t cost parents a fortune

 

[WhatABore]

She is 4 in January, starts school September next year and we would go away May 2025 - I’ll be fined won’t i?

I defo wouldn’t take her away near exams or SATS etc..! We do haven in school hols anyway so it’s just our May hol. I don’t get why schools don’t allow 5 days of absence to go away for a week or in the uk when it doesn’t cost parents a fortune

Yeah, well, we've never actually been fined
They put it down as unauthorised absence. I don't know if it's because he's not had much time off during the years or just the school in general

But I believe it's only £60 if you pay it straight away!

It used to be allowed when I was in school. I remember handing in holiday slips each year

 

[al255]

Yeah, well, we've never actually been fined
They put it down as unauthorised absence. I don't know if it's because he's not had much time off during the years or just the school in general

But I believe it's only £60 if you pay it straight away!

It used to be allowed when I was in school. I remember handing in holiday slips each year

i can’t even say she’s sick cos when she comes back tanned with a braid in her hair telling everyone she’s been on holiday I’m certainly not telling her to lie either cos let’s face it, kids let stuff slip anyway

I save £60 on Jet2 booking it as a single parent with their discount so that’s paid for it

 

[WhatABore]

i can’t even say she’s sick cos when she comes back tanned with a braid in her hair telling everyone she’s been on holiday I’m certainly not telling her to lie either cos let’s face it, kids let stuff slip anyway

I save £60 on Jet2 booking it as a single parent with their discount so that’s paid for it

That's exactly what my 5yo would be like. I was saying to my partner the other day that we'd have no chance pretending she was sick with her

Same as I considered getting her into a place before as an under 5 as she turned 5 a few weeks before but I know she'd be like NO I'M 5!

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Thank you for all the replies last night. We had a much better day today

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

At my wits end with my three year old. Had a lovely day together then as soon as her dad comes home she just gets so disregulated and overwrought. Been refusing bedtime and has just pissed all over the bathroom floor. I lost my head and shouted at her, feel awful now. I’m at a loss and starting to feel really down.

 

[Definitelyme]

At my wits end with my three year old. Had a lovely day together then as soon as her dad comes home she just gets so disregulated and overwrought. Been refusing bedtime and has just pissed all over the bathroom floor. I lost my head and shouted at her, feel awful now. I’m at a loss and starting to feel really down.

Mine have all gone through weird phases when they turn in to the devil when dad arrives home. It’s so odd, I’ve never been able to figure out why (beyond the timing being coming up to tea time so maybe hunger/hanger?). It does pass eventually, but it’s a miserable time. X

 

[Jellybean093]

At my wits end with my three year old. Had a lovely day together then as soon as her dad comes home she just gets so disregulated and overwrought. Been refusing bedtime and has just pissed all over the bathroom floor. I lost my head and shouted at her, feel awful now. I’m at a loss and starting to feel really down.

Ah, I feel you. 3yo is normally a mummy’s boy and I told him I loved him earlier and he told me he doesn’t love me, he loves daddy 🫠
Also, I’m really struggling with everyone’s bed time. We have crappy blinds, which keeps them awake. This has proper thrown them

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Mine is so hard work on Monday nights. Just for bed time. I really don’t know why!? Just messes around hes knackered so you’d think he’d just want to sleep. But no I started at 650 he was down for 730. I know that isn’t long really but it usually takes 5 mins

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

So glad to hear it’s not just her. (I do realise how awful that sounds but I’ve been thinking what an awful parent I am). I’ve been so down the last week as every night it’s just awful. Miserable is the word.
She definitely was hangry today as she didn’t have her afternoon snack at preschool and then dinner was later due to her dad working late but it’s not just today she’s been like it. Like you say it’s probably just a phase but god I’m so tired.
---

Ah, I feel you. 3yo is normally a mummy’s boy and I told him I loved him earlier and he told me he doesn’t love me, he loves daddy 🫠
Also, I’m really struggling with everyone’s bed time. We have crappy blinds, which keeps them awake. This has proper thrown them

Oh don’t I went back into her after I’d calmed down and she said I love you so much mummy and it broke my heart. But I’d be fuming if she said that Yeah I agree the later nights seem to coincide with the sudden bedtime battle. I mean it wasn’t always easy or quick but it wasn’t so draining.

What do you all do in the lead up to bedtime. We have dinner then free play usually with her dad, then bedtime snack pyjamas teeth wee and get into bed. Either me or her dad tell her a quick story then put a sleep story on theYoto player and cuddle her til she’s asleep. Which is taking forever atm and I have started to threaten her that I’ll sit at the end of the bed instead of cuddling which just feels really awful to me.
When they’re hyper do you do rough play or try and do calm activities?

 

[LilyRose1234]

So glad to hear it’s not just her. (I do realise how awful that sounds but I’ve been thinking what an awful parent I am). I’ve been so down the last week as every night it’s just awful. Miserable is the word.
She definitely was hangry today as she didn’t have her afternoon snack at preschool and then dinner was later due to her dad working late but it’s not just today she’s been like it. Like you say it’s probably just a phase but god I’m so tired.
---

Oh don’t I went back into her after I’d calmed down and she said I love you so much mummy and it broke my heart. But I’d be fuming if she said that Yeah I agree the later nights seem to coincide with the sudden bedtime battle. I mean it wasn’t always easy or quick but it wasn’t so draining.

What do you all do in the lead up to bedtime. We have dinner then free play usually with her dad, then bedtime snack pyjamas teeth wee and get into bed. Either me or her dad tell her a quick story then put a sleep story on theYoto player and cuddle her til she’s asleep. Which is taking forever atm and I have started to threaten her that I’ll sit at the end of the bed instead of cuddling which just feels really awful to me.
When they’re hyper do you do rough play or try and do calm activities?

Mine is a little younger so not sure if it’s applicable but we do dinner, bath/flannel & teeth, then she usually has a bonkers 20 minutes of running around jumping on the bed. I let her get it out her system tbh, then we read as many books as she wants before she either rubs her ear or goes to her bed, she’ll have a bottle of milk in bed and I just sit by her until she’s asleep which is 5 minutes to 30+ depending on tiredness. I don’t mind the boisterous play before bed as it wears her out, but we go upstairs away from the tv and the dogs and I keep the iPad out of reach
ETA bedtime has got a bit quicker since I picked up more on her new tired cues, so can tell more easily when she’s tired and then if I leave it when she’s overtired which is when it’ll take 30+ minutes to get her to drift off. Equally could be a lucky coincidence that I’ve just jinxed and she’ll go back to being a nightmare to get to bed!

 

[Definitelyme]

So glad to hear it’s not just her. (I do realise how awful that sounds but I’ve been thinking what an awful parent I am). I’ve been so down the last week as every night it’s just awful. Miserable is the word.
She definitely was hangry today as she didn’t have her afternoon snack at preschool and then dinner was later due to her dad working late but it’s not just today she’s been like it. Like you say it’s probably just a phase but god I’m so tired.
---

Oh don’t I went back into her after I’d calmed down and she said I love you so much mummy and it broke my heart. But I’d be fuming if she said that Yeah I agree the later nights seem to coincide with the sudden bedtime battle. I mean it wasn’t always easy or quick but it wasn’t so draining.

What do you all do in the lead up to bedtime. We have dinner then free play usually with her dad, then bedtime snack pyjamas teeth wee and get into bed. Either me or her dad tell her a quick story then put a sleep story on theYoto player and cuddle her til she’s asleep. Which is taking forever atm and I have started to threaten her that I’ll sit at the end of the bed instead of cuddling which just feels really awful to me.
When they’re hyper do you do rough play or try and do calm activities?

After dinner the kids do what they like while we tidy up, tonight they played outside for about an hour before coming in, which is most nights when it’s light (obviously we keep an eye on them and join then when we can, we don’t just leave them out there…bigger ones yes but not the 2yo!) . Two nights a week we Skype my in laws in that time, so they alternate doing their own thing with chatting to them. Any nights we aren’t it’s just playing until it’s either bath time or time to get in to pjs. Bedtime for us isn’t calming activities, it never has been. We all go upstairs, everyone gets changed, and then tonight the 2,4 and 7 year old ran round playing some game for about 15 mins. They all (10yo included) quite often play "the chase game" which is basically just mad running in pjs But when we tell 2 and 4yo it’s time for bed, the say night to the the older ones and off we go (me with 2yo, husband with 4yo) But yeah, it usually boisterous in the lead up, but not hyper if that makes sense?

 

[Jellybean093]

Oh don’t I went back into her after I’d calmed down and she said I love you so much mummy and it broke my heart. But I’d be fuming if she said that Yeah I agree the later nights seem to coincide with the sudden bedtime battle. I mean it wasn’t always easy or quick but it wasn’t so draining.

What do you all do in the lead up to bedtime. We have dinner then free play usually with her dad, then bedtime snack pyjamas teeth wee and get into bed. Either me or her dad tell her a quick story then put a sleep story on theYoto player and cuddle her til she’s asleep. Which is taking forever atm and I have started to threaten her that I’ll sit at the end of the bed instead of cuddling which just feels really awful to me.
When they’re hyper do you do rough play or try and do calm activities?

My kids always flit between me and dad, so it doesn’t bother me. I know I’ll get their love back

So, we have dinner @ 5ish, then every other day bath, and they can watch tv/iPads until he’s time. Sometimes they play fight with dad, when the warmer eves come it’ll be in the garden. I try and put 3yo down at 7, but those 2 hours fly by, so it’s a bit later. But we chill after dinner mostly

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I think all kids have a burst of energy before bed. My mum calls it the mad half hour. When my niece and nephew used to stay over at hers after she’d bath then they’d run round naked chasing
Mine usually does it when his dad is here. They usually have a play after bath time . I’m a bit more reserved but he still likes to mess around usually tries bouncing on the bed doesn’t let me get him in his pjs and likes to do round and round the garden or this little piggy

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

I’m happy for her to have a mad fun around but it gets to a silly point where she’s hitting screaming or ends in a meltdown. More like disregulatiob than letting off steam. But maybe for her it is the same? Baths and screen time end the same. We do y have a garden but I could set up an obstacle course and see if that gets it out if her system.

Thank you everyone for the kind support, you’ve given me some ideas to try.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My little boy just counted to ten for the first time

 

[al255]

My little boy just counted to ten for the first time

That is amazing, I know you’ve spoke of the troubles with his speech. So happy for you both, hopefully it continues to improve

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

That is amazing, I know you’ve spoke of the troubles with his speech. So happy for you both, hopefully it continues to improve

Thankyou!! Nursery have said they’ve noticed a big change in him last few weeks. It’s like a switch and he is talking and repeating what we are saying a lot more . I’m very emotional he just counted to ten