100% with you on this. That and how damn expensive they are.. I’ll be in negative income once we pay daycare fees for two kids
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I suppose our only perspective previously was our own childhoods, where happy memories bring us joy and unhappy memories are blamed on our parents
to think that these whirlwind feral gremlins will remember nothing of their role in these events, is a bit like when they say you forget the pain of labour because who in their right mind would go through it again, you forget the hellscape that is toddler life until it’s too late and you have your own!this is so true!!!! My child some days I am like WHAT THE duck IS GOING WITH YOU!!!!Ahh a thread to take refuge in whilst hiding from the tiny demon in my house! Why do they wake up and choose violence, why?? I’ll lovingly create snacks, set up playtime, be as attentive and gentle as I can possibly be and get rewarded with headbutts, flying kicks to the throat and inconsolable sobbing because we asked for the banana to be opened and then cried because it’s open
I thought I’d ace being a stay at home mum, all healthy lunches and playgroups and going to visit the duckies at the pond, I had no clue that “threenager” is code for “violent psychopathic abuser you aren’t legally allowed to walk away from” but then, if you knew back then just how soul destroying some of these days could be, would you have signed up? I knew that tantrums and upsets would be involved but I had no idea the level of violence and enjoyment at being violent towards me would be involved in raising a small human at this point, I feel like this is the new PPI claim, I was missold!
I am so bloody triggered by these tantrums. I know they are developmentally normally but duck they are so extreme and they make me not want to leave the house! I try do fun things like go to soft play or to the library, and it just ends in meltdowns when we go home and I do everything as I should e.g giving 5 minute warning we are leaving, giving options like do you want me to put your shoes on or will you do it… nothing works. I just hate this stage and feel like is something I should be doing to try and prevent these? He’s currently rolling around on the ground screaming because I only gave him 1 biscuit
Do toddlers all follow the Noah’s Ark theory because mine also refuses a single biscuit, they must be eaten two by two
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, the only thing that works for me is living in Groundhog Day, if I do and say things with exactly the same timing and tone of voice, and visit the same places using the same phrases to acknowledge the routine throughout, there’s less chance I get beaten (although still no guarantee!)
Something to keep in mind to save your sanity is that a strong willed child is more likely to be a leader not a follower. This stage is hard but think about the peer pressure involved in being a teenager, being able to refuse and not go along with the crowd, choosing the right subjects to study for their talents and not because their friends do it… these skills come in handy later on in life, even if right now we’d love nothing more than to boot them through an open window
That’s a really nice way of looking at it thank you!Do toddlers all follow the Noah’s Ark theory because mine also refuses a single biscuit, they must be eaten two by two
It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, the only thing that works for me is living in Groundhog Day, if I do and say things with exactly the same timing and tone of voice, and visit the same places using the same phrases to acknowledge the routine throughout, there’s less chance I get beaten (although still no guarantee!)
Something to keep in mind to save your sanity is that a strong willed child is more likely to be a leader not a follower. This stage is hard but think about the peer pressure involved in being a teenager, being able to refuse and not go along with the crowd, choosing the right subjects to study for their talents and not because their friends do it… these skills come in handy later on in life, even if right now we’d love nothing more than to boot them through an open window
Thought it was time I dipped my toe in the water & admitted I have toddlers now not babies!
The twins are demonic, my eldest was never this wild, he lured me into a false sense of security
The twins are demonic, my eldest was never this wild, he lured me into a false sense of security
Thought it was time I dipped my toe in the water & admitted I have toddlers now not babies!
The twins are demonic, my eldest was never this wild, he lured me into a false sense of security
This is me, biscuits should be eaten in pairsDo toddlers all follow the Noah’s Ark theory because mine also refuses a single biscuit, they must be eaten two by two
Another absolute demon of a three year old here this week. He’s normally fine, relatively easy with a few meltdowns. This week has been next level and we’re all really struggling to keep our emotions in check. Shouting from everyone. I’ve been slamming doors. My nerves are frayed.
it’s been comforting to read that we’re not the only ones going through it!
it’s been comforting to read that we’re not the only ones going through it!
Sooooo I realised I don’t give my nearly 3 year old enough choices. I just ask her to do this, this and this and I’ve also started to think a lot of the tantrums come from her wanting control/power.
So I’ll just say a few things today that I’ve given her a “choice” within the thing I needed her to do and it’s resulted in no tantrum. This is just what I find works for mini A at the moment..
So I needed her to come downstairs, she said no I want to stay on your bed, but it was really time to go we had to be somewhere and I was on the last min. She said again no mummy sit on your bed. I said do you want to walk or mummy carry you? And she picked carry so off we went downstairs, no dramas and off we went. Usually it would result in me saying “get downstairs, now!” Etc etc..
Another BIG drama we’ve had is getting dressed, especially for bed there’s a big power struggle over it and I think it’s because she thinks pjs mean bedtime NOW. (When she knows they don’t), so tonight I said please pick some pjs and we are going to get dressed for bed and get cosy, but it’s NOT sleep time it’s just getting into bed and she said ok and got dressed..
I seem to forget she’s a child and if I let her regain some control over things like picking pjs etc maybe it’ll help! Just thought I’d share it incase anyone’s SICK TO DEATH of the battles!!!!
So I’ll just say a few things today that I’ve given her a “choice” within the thing I needed her to do and it’s resulted in no tantrum. This is just what I find works for mini A at the moment..
So I needed her to come downstairs, she said no I want to stay on your bed, but it was really time to go we had to be somewhere and I was on the last min. She said again no mummy sit on your bed. I said do you want to walk or mummy carry you? And she picked carry so off we went downstairs, no dramas and off we went. Usually it would result in me saying “get downstairs, now!” Etc etc..
Another BIG drama we’ve had is getting dressed, especially for bed there’s a big power struggle over it and I think it’s because she thinks pjs mean bedtime NOW. (When she knows they don’t), so tonight I said please pick some pjs and we are going to get dressed for bed and get cosy, but it’s NOT sleep time it’s just getting into bed and she said ok and got dressed..
I seem to forget she’s a child and if I let her regain some control over things like picking pjs etc maybe it’ll help! Just thought I’d share it incase anyone’s SICK TO DEATH of the battles!!!!
This is great and your last example is something that really works with MiniGlenCoco, we explain WHY we have to do this / can't do that right now and it stops about 90% of her tantrums!
Mini Pillows hasn't pooped for 2 days now, and getting Laxido into her just isn't happening as she doesn't drink anything. She's constantly straining and crying that her bum hurts, but she just won't go 
Does anyone have experience of constipation/withholding? We went through this before about a year ago, but Laxido worked better then, even just half a sachet used to make her go almost instantly. She did a massive poo in the bath on Saturday (her first for about a week up until that point) and honestly it was about the length of my hand and the girth of my wrist. It was HUGE.
I think because of that, she's not eating, and is literally consuming a yoghurt and a bag of choc fingers a day and that's it. She refuses anything else. Having said that, I wonder if she's coming down with something AGAIN as she's been warm to the touch today and telling me her ear hurts, fell asleep on the sofa yesterday (I can count on one hand the number of times that's ever happened) and seems to find swallowing food tricky.
Add to that, the complete lack of sleep over the last 4 weeks (waking almost hourly and screaming) and I'm just about to jump off a cliff. I need to go back on my meds I think
Can anyone recommend any good sleep consultants, is there such a thing? I have in desperation ordered those Sleepy Patches that get advertised on Facebook
I think our problem lies in medical issues though, but the GP says she's fine and there's nothing wrong with her so I don't know. Christ, kids are hard.
Does anyone have experience of constipation/withholding? We went through this before about a year ago, but Laxido worked better then, even just half a sachet used to make her go almost instantly. She did a massive poo in the bath on Saturday (her first for about a week up until that point) and honestly it was about the length of my hand and the girth of my wrist. It was HUGE.I think because of that, she's not eating, and is literally consuming a yoghurt and a bag of choc fingers a day and that's it. She refuses anything else. Having said that, I wonder if she's coming down with something AGAIN as she's been warm to the touch today and telling me her ear hurts, fell asleep on the sofa yesterday (I can count on one hand the number of times that's ever happened) and seems to find swallowing food tricky.
Add to that, the complete lack of sleep over the last 4 weeks (waking almost hourly and screaming) and I'm just about to jump off a cliff. I need to go back on my meds I think
Can anyone recommend any good sleep consultants, is there such a thing? I have in desperation ordered those Sleepy Patches that get advertised on Facebook
I think our problem lies in medical issues though, but the GP says she's fine and there's nothing wrong with her so I don't know. Christ, kids are hard.Can you mix prunes in with her yoghurts? The pouch ones you can get from the supermarket? My sister nannies and the little girl has problems with pooing. She had to have something daily in her water. I think it’s a lot easier for her now xMini Pillows hasn't pooped for 2 days now, and getting Laxido into her just isn't happening as she doesn't drink anything. She's constantly straining and crying that her bum hurts, but she just won't go
I think because of that, she's not eating, and is literally consuming a yoghurt and a bag of choc fingers a day and that's it. She refuses anything else. Having said that, I wonder if she's coming down with something AGAIN as she's been warm to the touch today and telling me her ear hurts, fell asleep on the sofa yesterday (I can count on one hand the number of times that's ever happened) and seems to find swallowing food tricky.
Add to that, the complete lack of sleep over the last 4 weeks (waking almost hourly and screaming) and I'm just about to jump off a cliff. I need to go back on my meds I think
Can anyone recommend any good sleep consultants, is there such a thing? I have in desperation ordered those Sleepy Patches that get advertised on Facebook
Also, 3yo keeps weeing the bed. I’m at a loss. It’s like 4/5x a week for the last couple of weeks. He isn’t phased by it at all. I don’t know what to do with him. I don’t know if it’s because he’s just got over an ear infection, but it’s driving me mad!!
Pears are our saviour!Mini Pillows hasn't pooped for 2 days now, and getting Laxido into her just isn't happening as she doesn't drink anything. She's constantly straining and crying that her bum hurts, but she just won't go
I think because of that, she's not eating, and is literally consuming a yoghurt and a bag of choc fingers a day and that's it. She refuses anything else. Having said that, I wonder if she's coming down with something AGAIN as she's been warm to the touch today and telling me her ear hurts, fell asleep on the sofa yesterday (I can count on one hand the number of times that's ever happened) and seems to find swallowing food tricky.
Add to that, the complete lack of sleep over the last 4 weeks (waking almost hourly and screaming) and I'm just about to jump off a cliff. I need to go back on my meds I think
Can anyone recommend any good sleep consultants, is there such a thing? I have in desperation ordered those Sleepy Patches that get advertised on Facebook
I’ve come to a pretty sad realisation. Every day I have my toddler solo I find I come on here to rant and even though I love him and would do anything for him, it feels like I don’t really like him 
I’m sick of the constant whining and screaming when something doesn’t go his way, I turn on the tv to get a break but it’s a meltdown every time to negotiate turning it off. I asked for 5 minutes to myself so that I could lie down, I had a coloured rice bin set up for him and said he could play in his toy kitchen or with his books too. But instead he just stood by me screaming until the 5 minutes was up. I tried setting a phone timer but without the visual it didn’t really work. It’s just really sad how much I look forward to the three days where it’s just me and the baby at home, it’s the only break I get to nap, exercise or run errands. Cause anytime I leave the house with both kids he acts like a true mole toddler and runs off. He refuses to play independently and I’m just at my limit.
I’m sick of the constant whining and screaming when something doesn’t go his way, I turn on the tv to get a break but it’s a meltdown every time to negotiate turning it off. I asked for 5 minutes to myself so that I could lie down, I had a coloured rice bin set up for him and said he could play in his toy kitchen or with his books too. But instead he just stood by me screaming until the 5 minutes was up. I tried setting a phone timer but without the visual it didn’t really work. It’s just really sad how much I look forward to the three days where it’s just me and the baby at home, it’s the only break I get to nap, exercise or run errands. Cause anytime I leave the house with both kids he acts like a true mole toddler and runs off. He refuses to play independently and I’m just at my limit.
My little boy doesn’t leave me alone either. I can’t go upstairs without him following. Granted he doesn’t scream like yours. But has he always done this or is it since the baby? How old is he. Maybe he just wants your attention? I know toddlers can be hard but it won’t last forever. I can imagine your patience is wearing thin but you’re his mummy and he loves you. Will nothing reason with him? Can you not give him the iPad or tv whilst you have a lie down and then distract him another way to get him away from it? Sorry you’re feeling like this but it won’t last forever. Some toddlers just screamI’ve come to a pretty sad realisation. Every day I have my toddler solo I find I come on here to rant and even though I love him and would do anything for him, it feels like I don’t really like him
I’m sick of the constant whining and screaming when something doesn’t go his way, I turn on the tv to get a break but it’s a meltdown every time to negotiate turning it off. I asked for 5 minutes to myself so that I could lie down, I had a coloured rice bin set up for him and said he could play in his toy kitchen or with his books too. But instead he just stood by me screaming until the 5 minutes was up. I tried setting a phone timer but without the visual it didn’t really work. It’s just really sad how much I look forward to the three days where it’s just me and the baby at home, it’s the only break I get to nap, exercise or run errands. Cause anytime I leave the house with both kids he acts like a true mole toddler and runs off. He refuses to play independently and I’m just at my limit.
please don’t feel like a bad mum…! I can confidently speak for us all and say we all have a limit and believe me some days I wonder why I wanted to be a mum to my only child…I’ve come to a pretty sad realisation. Every day I have my toddler solo I find I come on here to rant and even though I love him and would do anything for him, it feels like I don’t really like him
I’m sick of the constant whining and screaming when something doesn’t go his way, I turn on the tv to get a break but it’s a meltdown every time to negotiate turning it off. I asked for 5 minutes to myself so that I could lie down, I had a coloured rice bin set up for him and said he could play in his toy kitchen or with his books too. But instead he just stood by me screaming until the 5 minutes was up. I tried setting a phone timer but without the visual it didn’t really work. It’s just really sad how much I look forward to the three days where it’s just me and the baby at home, it’s the only break I get to nap, exercise or run errands. Cause anytime I leave the house with both kids he acts like a true mole toddler and runs off. He refuses to play independently and I’m just at my limit.
mini A follows me around and will honestly sometimes stand at the bottom of the stairs even if I’m changing out my pjs or if I’m going for a wee, I just started to ignore the screaming and say count to 10 and I’ll be back! I used to be able to wash my hair with her sat on the iPad on my bed and now she gets undressed herself and climbs into the shower even if I’m nearly done
I’m a single mum too and some days I’m done with it all, when you feel like you don’t get a break at all and you’re tired/stressed out! Sending hugs xxxxx
Was he fine before that?
My 4yo has only just stopped wetting the bed (well she was in pull ups) even though she's been potty trained since 2.
Can you put him in pull ups until you notice it's dry when he wakes up?
He’s been dry at night since July (this was him deciding)! I put him on the toilet at 10.30 last night and no accidents. Really don’t know why he’s regressed
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