Today I Learned…

[WhatABore]

How did you address it? Or manage it for yourselves? Xx feel free to not respond if you aren’t comfortable talking about it.

It was with an ex actually.
I tried to discuss it and said I wasn't comfortable with him choosing that when he was rejecting me a lot of the time. Told him how it made me feel.
All he did was put a password on everything.

With my now partner, I told him at the start my views on it and why and he understood completely. Obviously I never once told him no he can't do it. Because I can't control him.
But he has said he has chosen not to because of how it makes me feel.


It's been 13 years since it originally was happening with my ex and I still struggle a lot mentally but I ended up wearing myself down because I was offering sex constantly to make sure my partner didn't want or need to go do anything else

 

[Meangirl815]

Ooh i found this out a while ago so not strictly 'today i learned' but....
Some may find it interesting

Woman produce 4x more testosterone than estrogen

 

[Sheabutter]

This was what I was thinking. I know he looks at porn but there is a bit more of a back story. We are trying for a baby and can’t because we don’t have sex pretty much. I feel rejected by him especially after finding this out.
It’s the money part also as he is always controlling how I spend money.


Thank you. I feel like I don’t want to be around him but also still love him. Just feels so shot and wish I didn’t know this or have to deal with this.


Yup! I watch porn and I’m ok with him watching it. But not paying for it and especially Onlyfans as I know that toh pay for custom videos and 121 chats etc. it feels like he has went cheated. The money is an issue as he is always discouraging me from spending my own money.


Yes this is how I’m feeling! Like he chooses porn over sex or time with me. He has literally said no to having sex with me a couple of times because he had just watched porn and had a tank. So I was literally rejected.


Yeh and I do get that part too. I don’t want to sex shame him or make him feel like he can’t have his own personal time. I would be hurt if I couldn’t feel like I could have some “self care” and was made to feel bad about it.


We aren’t struggling financially but we are watching what we spend and need to take out a loan to pay off something this year. So we are saving a lot and don’t have this money to literally be paying sex workers for. This is how I see it, paying for sex. Albeit it is online so not in person sex work.

I go without things that I want to buy l, for instance I wanted an Apple Watch and he said I didn’t need it and discouraged me from buying it. Then I find this out?!

It’s a good thing you don’t have a baby with this man yet - much easier to divorce him at this stage. He has no business controlling your money

 

[Hot_Dogs_Or_Toes]

This was what I was thinking. I know he looks at porn but there is a bit more of a back story. We are trying for a baby and can’t because we don’t have sex pretty much. I feel rejected by him especially after finding this out.
It’s the money part also as he is always controlling how I spend money.


Thank you. I feel like I don’t want to be around him but also still love him. Just feels so shot and wish I didn’t know this or have to deal with this.


Yup! I watch porn and I’m ok with him watching it. But not paying for it and especially Onlyfans as I know that toh pay for custom videos and 121 chats etc. it feels like he has went cheated. The money is an issue as he is always discouraging me from spending my own money.


Yes this is how I’m feeling! Like he chooses porn over sex or time with me. He has literally said no to having sex with me a couple of times because he had just watched porn and had a tank. So I was literally rejected.


Yeh and I do get that part too. I don’t want to sex shame him or make him feel like he can’t have his own personal time. I would be hurt if I couldn’t feel like I could have some “self care” and was made to feel bad about it.


We aren’t struggling financially but we are watching what we spend and need to take out a loan to pay off something this year. So we are saving a lot and don’t have this money to literally be paying sex workers for. This is how I see it, paying for sex. Albeit it is online so not in person sex work.

I go without things that I want to buy l, for instance I wanted an Apple Watch and he said I didn’t need it and discouraged me from buying it. Then I find this out?!

It's evidently upset you which is understandable so I think the best thing to do is be straight up front with him and just talk it out. Explain how it's making you feel and then let him respond with the reasons he has for doing it. I know it might be hard but try and not judge him when he's explaining as I expect it will be easy for both of you to let emotions dictate the conversation but that's a recipe for nothing but an argument.

Hopefully, once you've both had a chance to talk through your feelings you'll be in a better place to move forward

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

...that geese have teeth!

 

[Londoncailín]

...that geese have teeth!

View attachment 1058080

That’s tonight’s nightmare material sorted

 

[roarke]

Bill Murray did Garfield because it had a Coen brother attached to it. He thought it was going to be a great, art house film. It was written by Joel Cohen, not “a” Coen brother.

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

dolphins sleep with one eye open, because they have to remain conscious to ensure they breathe and to watch out for predators, so only one side of their brain sleeps at a time, while the other half remains conscious and functioning and they alternate each side periodically. so the side of their brain which remains awake, the eye stays open, even though the other half of their brain is asleep.

 

[bubbadabut]

Today I was surprised to find out that David Sneddon, winner of Fame Academy, co-wrote "National Anthem" by Lana Del Rey.

 

[JOHN1967]

Pigs don’t sweat

Nonsense Jim Davidson sweats all the time.

 

[50sGirl]

That the leaves higher up on a holly tree are smooth and not prickly.
The lower leaves are only prickly to stop animals eating them which is not necessary for the leaves out of reach.
I will have to check my tree!

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

in the 1960s, there was a punctuation mark called the interrobang which was a combination of the question mark and exclamation mark - ‽ which didn't catch on and stopped being used. it was meant to be a punctuation mark that expressed both surprise and excitement - essentially in a situation where nowadays, we would simply use both, like "?!" kind disappointed it stopped being used tbh, as ‽ looks pretty cool!

 

[justheretoread99]

I’m 28 and just learnt that chickens can continuously lay eggs, they don’t have to mate with a rooster

 

[didn't want to join]

I learned (a while back, but shared with one of my family's friends today) that if you hold your remote for car keys to your head, when it doesn't blip, it can extend the range and then work yes really

 

[GladiatorReady]

The world's most expensive wedding dress cost $31 million. They have since divorced.

 

[unfinishedsentenc]

The elderly couple seen hugging on the bed in the movie Titanic while the water floods the room were the owners of Macy's department store, Rosalie Ida and Isidor Straus. Ida refused a seat on the lifeboat stating *where you go I go" which inspired Roses line in the movie.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

How to French plait my own hair! I’m 37! Couldn’t be happier

 

[Infernal Love]

That the singer Kelis is a Cordon Bleu trained chef.

This explains why her milkshakes come so highly acclaimed....

 

[didn't want to join]

I'm over 50 and today I learned that the Heads of Easter Island (the big stone ones) actually have bodies

Two were excavated years back and they have full torso's which are around 33 feet.

 

[GladiatorReady]

It is impossible to overcook mushrooms.