Tips on raising self esteem

[Pinhead Larry]

Hey! I’m having a bit of a rubbish time at the moment with my self esteem. I’ve put on weight which I am now trying to lose, my eczema has got so much worse and I think because I feel low about my physical self, it’s really effected my mental health and my perception of self worth. I find myself feeling anxious, jealous and insecure which isn’t normally me at all.

I was just wondering what you all do to make yourselves feel a bit better when your self esteem isn’t so good? Absolutely anything that makes you feel amazing. My boyfriend said he really wants to help me too.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I've been working on this with both of my sisters who are 19 and 22.

19 year old:
-Got her nails done. It's something she's wanted to try.
-Photoshoot with a professional photographer to prove to her that she wasn't ugly. She loved the photos we got back. So I did rebook again.
-Better not necessarily expensive clothing. 90% of her wardrobe is from M&S. They do good jeans for £19.
-Found her a good therapist : She has learnt to put up boundaries with her friends and a cousin.
-Paying for dental treatment.
-Got her hair cut & colour fixed by a professional hairdresser.
-You've got this book by Byrony Gordon
-Paying for a personal trainer to work with her for 2 months + paying for her gym membership.
-Buying her makeup/ looking at stuff with her.

22:
-Getting her used to ordering in coffee shops and restaurants.
-Hair cut by the same hair stylist + Innoluxe treatment + paying for a semi regular blowdry
-Book about red flags in relationships so she won't accept the bare minimum.
-Paid for her gym too but she didn't go regularly.
-She's therapy resistant but i'm hoping on day she will see someone too.
-Helping her apply for a better job.

Made a playlist of songs like this one which I blast when they're in the room with me : Sia is also really good.

" We are glorious" "I am brave" "I'm not scared to be seen".



My self esteem on the other hand- doesn't really exist .I'm less willing to put up nonsense then I used to though so that's something I guess. I've also put weight on during the whole pandemic situation comfort eating after my friend died.

I like buying myself nice soap and hot chocolates from Starbucks. Trying not to compare with others.

Woman are allowed to take up space. Take baby steps. There's also a weightloss thread if you would like more support.

 

[Pinhead Larry]

Thank you for replying I really like some of the ideas you’ve posted and I’ll give them a try! I had a counsellor last year and I felt amazing after her. I’ve just had a few bad things happen this year and I feel so knocked so remembering I am not that bad just feels hard

 

[rainbowlemon]

Thank you for replying I really like some of the ideas you’ve posted and I’ll give them a try! I had a counsellor last year and I felt amazing after her. I’ve just had a few bad things happen this year and I feel so knocked so remembering I am not that bad just feels hard

I hope you can go back and get some extra support from her. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You're doing the best that you can.

 

[Booklover]

Hi, I screenshot this from a Facebook group I'm in a while ago. X

 

[noseyhunx]

I've been working on this with both of my sisters who are 19 and 22.

19 year old:
-Got her nails done. It's something she's wanted to try.
-Photoshoot with a professional photographer to prove to her that she wasn't ugly. She loved the photos we got back. So I did rebook again.
-Better not necessarily expensive clothing. 90% of her wardrobe is from M&S. They do good jeans for £19.
-Found her a good therapist : She has learnt to put up boundaries with her friends and a cousin.
-Paying for dental treatment.
-Got her hair cut & colour fixed by a professional hairdresser.
-You've got this book by Byrony Gordon
-Paying for a personal trainer to work with her for 2 months + paying for her gym membership.
-Buying her makeup/ looking at stuff with her.

22:
-Getting her used to ordering in coffee shops and restaurants.
-Hair cut by the same hair stylist + Innoluxe treatment + paying for a semi regular blowdry
-Book about red flags in relationships so she won't accept the bare minimum.
-Paid for her gym too but she didn't go regularly.
-She's therapy resistant but i'm hoping on day she will see someone too.
-Helping her apply for a better job.

Made a playlist of songs like this one which I blast when they're in the room with me : Sia is also really good.

" We are glorious" "I am brave" "I'm not scared to be seen".



My self esteem on the other hand- doesn't really exist .I'm less willing to put up nonsense then I used to though so that's something I guess. I've also put weight on during the whole pandemic situation comfort eating after my friend died.

I like buying myself nice soap and hot chocolates from Starbucks. Trying not to compare with others.

Woman are allowed to take up space. Take baby steps. There's also a weightloss thread if you would like more support.

sorry I know this doesn’t help the poster - and I wish I could help but I’m following for advice too - you are honestly the best big sis ever. I wish I was the sister you are and I wish I had the sister you are. It’s so so amazing how much you have helped your sisters. I hope you show the same kindness to yourself

 

[Pinhead Larry]

Hi, I screenshot this from a Facebook group I'm in a while ago. X

This is great, I’ve screenshot this too.

I think the main issue that’s caused this self esteem drop is that I had loads of disposable income, then I brought a house and for the past year I’ve been neglecting the little things, like the stuff on your list, in favour of getting rooms in the house sorted and paying things off. I treated myself to a new pair of trainers yesterday, which was necessary because mine have a hole in, and has made me feel really nice and excited. I’m going to try and do as many things as I can on that list which don’t involve clothes sizes, lose some weight and then do them things too

 

[shadowcat5]

Hey! I’m having a bit of a rubbish time at the moment with my self esteem. I’ve put on weight which I am now trying to lose, my eczema has got so much worse and I think because I feel low about my physical self, it’s really effected my mental health and my perception of self worth. I find myself feeling anxious, jealous and insecure which isn’t normally me at all.

I was just wondering what you all do to make yourselves feel a bit better when your self esteem isn’t so good? Absolutely anything that makes you feel amazing. My boyfriend said he really wants to help me too.

This is truly going to sound like the most wishy washy pathetic thing ever but for me personally, self esteem really does come from my actions towards myself and other people.

So for myself, I try to stick to a good routine, up early, bed early, good books, good food, exercise, nature walks, treat days, try to find the positives in every situation as much as possible.
For others, doing kind things and being nice to other people, helping people (I have a rule where I always buy stuff for the foodbank any time I go to the supermarket. Even if it's just 22p beans or 30p biscuits. I realise I am a privileged position to be able to do this!),
It sounds terrible that i feel good helping other people but it does feel nice to be kind so I'll take it

ETA: I also seriously second getting a proper alarm clock radio and waking up to the sound of music or the talking radio. It also means I can switch my phone off and leave it downstairs before bed.

 

[Pinhead Larry]

This is truly going to sound like the most wishy washy pathetic thing ever but for me personally, self esteem really does come from my actions towards myself and other people.

So for myself, I try to stick to a good routine, up early, bed early, good books, good food, exercise, nature walks, treat days, try to find the positives in every situation as much as possible.
For others, doing kind things and being nice to other people, helping people (I have a rule where I always buy stuff for the foodbank any time I go to the supermarket. Even if it's just 22p beans or 30p biscuits. I realise I am a privileged position to be able to do this!),
It sounds terrible that i feel good helping other people but it does feel nice to be kind so I'll take it

ETA: I also seriously second getting a proper alarm clock radio and waking up to the sound of music or the talking radio. It also means I can switch my phone off and leave it downstairs before bed.

I really like this!! I actually do some of these things but ignore the fact I do them. I need to start acknowledging good things about myself a bit more. I’m definitely going to change my alarm to music

 

[rainbowlemon]

"Write yourself a love letter".

 

[Pinhead Larry]

Counselling booked, brought myself a fancy weekly planner, some Chelsea peers pyjamas, nice jumper from French connection and a new pair of Levi’s and I’ve got a shopping cart full of new underwear on Victoria’s Secret. We’ve done a full weekly food plan with healthy meals and I’m going to get back in the gym tomorrow gonna feel the pinch from all the treats but I deserve it

 

[rainbowlemon]

Counselling booked, brought myself a fancy weekly planner, some Chelsea peers pyjamas, nice jumper from French connection and a new pair of Levi’s and I’ve got a shopping cart full of new underwear on Victoria’s Secret. We’ve done a full weekly food plan with healthy meals and I’m going to get back in the gym tomorrow gonna feel the pinch from all the treats but I deserve it

Well done! The new items also sound lovely.

 

[Greencatfysh]

Counselling booked, brought myself a fancy weekly planner, some Chelsea peers pyjamas, nice jumper from French connection and a new pair of Levi’s and I’ve got a shopping cart full of new underwear on Victoria’s Secret. We’ve done a full weekly food plan with healthy meals and I’m going to get back in the gym tomorrow gonna feel the pinch from all the treats but I deserve it

All sounds sensible. My tip would be not to try and boil the ocean at the start. Take things slow, you’re unlikely to stick to anything if you throw yourself into a spending loads of cash, really healthy diet, gym, counselling all at once. Maybe write yourself a list of things you want and buy one thing a month that feels special. Counselling was a huge help for me but mostly because it’s about making small sustainable changes. Best of luck to you! X

 

[Gymhoned]

My tips for growing confidence is set a few quiet goals. Dont tell people.for example, i wanted to move to London so i did eventually. This year i set my self a goal to drive on the motorway for the first time and i did. I read at least 10 books a year which may not be much but its my goal. I do volunteer work, just an hour a week.I send food packages to my elderly mum. Just small thing that make you feel proud of yourself and that youre growing not stagnating in life.

 

[Marcinabolan]

I’m on Instagram and there’s some people that make me feel better when I’m having a ‘fat’ day. I think the massive thing for me was not buying clothes in my ‘old’ size (a size smaller than I am) and following people who are a similar size and shape to me, who are stylish and I get ideas of how to look a bit more put together.

One of the girls I follow on Insta (link here) has given me more confidence with what to wear and she always looks very put together:

MEAGAN WELLS (@_meaganwells) • Instagram photos and videos

330K Followers, 1,328 Following, 1,381 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from MEAGAN WELLS (@_meaganwells)

instagram.com

This girl is very funny about women’s stuff, but also about self acceptance and learning to love how you are:

Jess | Wellness & Body Image 🫶 (@selfacceptancewithjess) • Instagram photos and videos

45K Followers, 2,412 Following, 323 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Jess | Wellness & Body Image 🫶 (@selfacceptancewithjess)

instagram.com

Another self acceptance one below:

Body Confidence & Self-Love🌟 (@yourbodyisworthy) • Instagram photos and videos

58K Followers, 200 Following, 463 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Body Confidence & Self-Love🌟 (@yourbodyisworthy)

instagram.com

Hope they help somebody. I’m not 100% there but it helps me realise that I’m normal and there are others out there like me! Take care of yourself xx

 

[candyland_]

I had my highlights done, eyebrows, lashes, nails and lip fillers to boost mine recently. Slowly working on my wardrobe and skincare/make up collection.
I feel better for it and more like myself.

 

[rainbowlemon]

To add-selfcare was the thing we talked about in my last session. I have to do some things whilst my therapist is away on his Christmas break and then report back to him.

So far this month:
-I bought new skin care products yesterday.
-Bought nice soap which makes showering something to look forward to.
-Massage x2.
-Have my first eyebrow appointment booked for next week.
-Gym. I've always been a all or nothing person. Either I go fully or not at all. So far I've been doing it for 5-6 days a week early in the mornings.

I also had my hair cut by my fave stylist.

Honestly I just feel different and I've been much happier though other things are the same.

I haven't ever been a nail or lash person but might give it a go too.

 

[Marcinabolan]

I’m writing down everyone else’s tips in a new notebook, I’m determined to have a better 2023! I may still be skint but if I can get my life better organised and feel better about myself, I’ll be onto a winner

 

[rainbowlemon]

I have my lash appointment today. It's not something the old me would have done at all.

 

[Gymhoned]

Another thing i used to do is write down when i get a compliment. Its nice to remind yourself from time to time!!