Theonlygirlinthehouse

[HubertsWhippedCream]

She is being very naive there with the broken leg analogy. A broken leg, although there are variants, is a relatively fixed process to heal. Various levels of spectrum across various children, all of who present differently, is not going to be easy for a school to just suddenly treat in the perfect way. She needs patience.

She has a really nasty tone to her when she talks about these things sometimes. Like she is putting it on there to spite the school and hope that they hear.

Have you also noticed that the meetings and emails happen after an event. Stop being reactive Jess and be proactive. If she'd have been that way from the start and stopped letting it just roll on he would have been diagnosed a lot earlier.

I say this as someone in a similar boat. I know it's not easy. But you cant just wait for things to happen then deal with them in this situation.

It's such a mess of sharing and not sharing.

 

[Yoghurtpots]

What annoys me with about parents like Jess who have children like H is that most of them refuse to put them in a specialist behavioral school and expect other pupils and teachers to deal with the abuse/trauma because "he has something wrong with him". Move him out of mainstream school then. My son has 2 like H in his yr6 class and it deeply upsets him witnessing tantrums/outbursts/furniture thrown etc and has done for years. She needs to think of the impact that her child is having on other children and less about her ego.

 

[Joy12]

What annoys me with about parents like Jess who have children like H is that most of them refuse to put them in a specialist behavioral school and expect other pupils and teachers to deal with the abuse/trauma because "he has something wrong with him". Move him out of mainstream school then. My son has 2 like H in his yr6 class and it deeply upsets him witnessing tantrums/outbursts/furniture thrown etc and has done for years. She needs to think of the impact that her child is having on other children and less about her ego.

This is so so true!! My son was once kicked in the head by a child like H having a melt down, if he is not suited to mainstream school then for the benefit of everyone she needs to think outside the box!

 

[Crazymum]

I mean if he can’t tuck his shirt in without flipping god help him in the big bad world. She really is doing him no favors and I can’t feel any sympathy at all for her or him at this precise moment ,as I feel so bitter at the fight I’m having and the lack of help and support my boy and us as a family receive. My sons the youngest of 6 he’s nearly 14. His siblings are 22,20,19,18 and 16 they all live at home and it impacts us all massively, especially our sleep. We have managed him so well up until the last 3 years but Covid has sent him over the edge. But you know what we get up and deal every day. He never misses school and we speak and communicate with the teachers at his mainstream school weekly, I don’t allow any outbursts to get him out of things . He also has very severe ocd. The counting and hand washing is off the scale and can hold up every aspect of his day which had a knock on effect. Jess is so entitled! Urgh she’s driven me mad today with her me ,me ,me and St Hugo act.

 

[maytoseptember]

Ten separate Stories dragging out an analogy about supporting a child with autism at high school isn’t the same as supporting a child with a broken leg...

I’ll be back after the school run with more thoughts

She is being very naive there with the broken leg analogy. A broken leg, although there are variants, is a relatively fixed process to heal. Various levels of spectrum across various children, all of who present differently, is not going to be easy for a school to just suddenly treat in the perfect way. She needs patience.

She has a really nasty tone to her when she talks about these things sometimes. Like she is putting it on there to spite the school and hope that they hear.

Have you also noticed that the meetings and emails happen after an event. Stop being reactive Jess and be proactive. If she'd have been that way from the start and stopped letting it just roll on he would have been diagnosed a lot earlier.

I say this as someone in a similar boat. I know it's not easy. But you cant just wait for things to happen then deal with them in this situation.
It's such a mess of sharing and not sharing.

Ugh, totally agree! It’s a completely false equivalence. If we’re going to labour medical analogies, a broken leg is acute and autism is chronic. A broken leg can be fixed and neurodivergence doesn’t need fixing, just managing. One is short term and one is forever. And yet she’s passively aggressively complaining about the school yet again because they aren’t giving her misbehaving son the special treatment she thinks he deserves... the special treatment she was smugly hoping to get with her little “piece of paper”.

She really did seem to think that a diagnosis would open a lot of doors, didn’t she? That was the reason she finally got off her arse and got him assessed in the first place. From her perspective, something has changed and the school need to change their approach. From the school’s POV, absolutely nothing has changed (H is still impossible to manage) and they’re out of ideas.

Mainstream schools, especially high schools, aren’t tailored to autistic kids with behavioural issues, and they never will be. By Jess’s own admission he can’t cope with school. He can’t cope with basic expectations of behaviour (i.e. not losing your tit when asked to tuck your shirt in) and he’s not doing any learning. The school can’t cope with a teenager losing his tit and send him home. This happens over and over and they’re at a total impasse. Jess sends them emails requesting goodness knows what (private tuition probably ). I’d love to be a fly on the wall of whichever teacher has to read them!

There’s yet more talk of an alternative provision (yeah, like that’ll work). But the bottom line is, H insists on perpetuating this cycle because he doesn’t want to be apart from his mates. Well, of course he doesn’t! Jess panders to everything her golden boy wants. Bad decision.

 

[fiffle-faffle]

She has a really nasty tone to her when she talks about these things sometimes. Like she is putting it on there to spite the school and hope that they hear.

I worked for many years in a school. If she thinks she's not being discussed in staff rooms, because of the things SHE posts, she's delusional,

 

[KeriRhys]

I mean if he can’t tuck his shirt in without flipping god help him in the big bad world. She really is doing him no favors and I can’t feel any sympathy at all for her or him at this precise moment ,as I feel so bitter at the fight I’m having and the lack of help and support my boy and us as a family receive. My sons the youngest of 6 he’s nearly 14. His siblings are 22,20,19,18 and 16 they all live at home and it impacts us all massively, especially our sleep. We have managed him so well up until the last 3 years but Covid has sent him over the edge. But you know what we get up and deal every day. He never misses school and we speak and communicate with the teachers at his mainstream school weekly, I don’t allow any outbursts to get him out of things . He also has very severe ocd. The counting and hand washing is off the scale and can hold up every aspect of his day which had a knock on effect. Jess is so entitled! Urgh she’s driven me mad today with her me ,me ,me and St Hugo act.

Sounds like your doing a wonderful job with your boy!!

 

[Crazymum]

Sounds like your doing a wonderful job with your boy!!

Thankyou. It can be so hard and frustrating for him and obviously us. As he’s the youngest I’ve had so much to compare to over the years and I noticed at 18 months how different he was. He’s the most lovely boy and I’m so proud of how well he copes. Jess just really drives me bonkers.

 

[B_ee]

His behaviour is only going to get worse as now she will blame everything on his diagnosis. Alternative provision didn't work before as he refused to apologise to an adult after he was rude/aggressive/defiant. Mainstream clearly isn't working. She gives other SEN parents a bad name. Kicking off about tucking in his tie is just teenage defiance bit naive to reward it with snacks and room service... Its clear how that is going to pan out!

 

[Crazymum]

Must buy saint Hugo baked goods for getting the school child up for meeting to arrange to start Friday. Erm there was nothing wrong with getting him up and making him go. Ffs he’s a child and I’d be getting the last spoilt brat up daily and keeping him in a routine because he needs you to be a parent not a kiss arse slave Jess!

 

[HubertsWhippedCream]

She looks like she hasn't slept for a week. In fairness it must be stressful, whatever the background and reasons.

 

[Crazymum]

She looks like she hasn't slept for a week. In fairness it must be stressful, whatever the background and reasons.

Well we haven’t had a beach pic so far but maybe she’s just pretending as she got slated on here last week about her bragging and beach pics.

 

[Ifyoucantbeatemjoinem]

Well we haven’t had a beach pic so far but maybe she’s just pretending as she got slated on here last week about her bragging and beach pics.

Quite right too.... Begging like that.

 

[HubertsWhippedCream]

I don't think her ego could hack reading here to be honest.

 

[maytoseptember]

Didn’t she once say she doesn’t actually love going to the beach? Her beach content is just to project a certain image. Outdoorsy... aspirational. All the best Instamums do it. And considering the money she makes, it works.

I don't think her ego could hack reading here to be honest.

True.

And please no one message her about this thread. As much as she annoys me, what happens on Tattle stays on Tattle.

 

[Lotty16817]

She’ll know about this thread, especially after MOD, most of them will check it. For their own vanity but also probably get off on knowing they are being discussed I’m sure.

 

[Mogmog]

I've gotta say, it's a nice garden. She wouldn't have been able to do that Yeo Valley ad at Russ'

 

[Lotty16817]

Yeah she’s really making the most of the space. Still find it odd in separate houses and a luxury I suppose. Shame they cannot sort their tit out and it’s dead money renting that could go in savings for the kids but it’s her money!

 

[Olli1510]

She seems to enable his behaviour which in turn makes him worse. From the bits she’s shared about her own feelings and what’s happened to her in her own life over the years I wonder if she too might have and underlying issue that could be diagnosed..

 

[maytoseptember]

I don’t think her relationship is as rosy as she makes out. I mean, they broke up twice last year. This living apart thing is their last chance to make a go of things.

Wish she’d be less smug about it though.