does your husband really enjoy his job? Do you worry if he will become resentful that you are doing nice things? I’m not being an arse, I was a sahm for 7 years and have not long gone back to work very part time but I do worry about the imbalance of my free time vs my husbands even though he has never made me feel bad or anything. I just worry that he might have the same thoughts that he wishes he’d worked less when he gets old but couldn’t have the opportunity if that makes sense.
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I think there’s something horribly sinister about the trad wife movement. I’m not talking about being a stay at home mum or homemaker. True feminism is about having the benefit of choice for either sex, equally. It’s the female submissive part that makes me shudder 
100% agree. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with staying at home or working. Everyone does what best for their family.I think there’s something horribly sinister about the trad wife movement. I’m not talking about being a stay at home mum or homemaker. True feminism is about having the benefit of choice for either sex, equally. It’s the female submissive part that makes me shudder
The submissive part I have real issue with and it’s not what I would want my daughters brought up thinking that was their role in life.
Ok this is an old thread but I didn’t want to start a new one for my random comment haha.
So I follow Alena on Facebook and a few of her friends because I like how nostalgic and idealised their posts are. It’s a bit of escapism (apart from the OTT-ness when they talk about the Royals).
I noticed for a long time Alena would say she was a wife and mother, that’s how she would introduce herself and she took great pride in being a homemaker. Now I’m seeing more recently she’s been saying she’s an author instead. I found it a curious change in language for someone who wholeheartedly held onto their identity and job as being a mother and wife but it seems maybe this isn’t the case anymore. She’s published two books and works on her blog, I’m not sure if she would do anything outside of that sphere but it got me wondering if, as her son is now going to secondary school soon and she finds she’s not as hands on a mum, that she’s not finding enough from that lifestyle?
It could just be me looking into it too much but I’m wondering if other ‘trad wives’ are going to feel that this way of life isn’t going to sustain them in the long term.
So I follow Alena on Facebook and a few of her friends because I like how nostalgic and idealised their posts are. It’s a bit of escapism (apart from the OTT-ness when they talk about the Royals).
I noticed for a long time Alena would say she was a wife and mother, that’s how she would introduce herself and she took great pride in being a homemaker. Now I’m seeing more recently she’s been saying she’s an author instead. I found it a curious change in language for someone who wholeheartedly held onto their identity and job as being a mother and wife but it seems maybe this isn’t the case anymore. She’s published two books and works on her blog, I’m not sure if she would do anything outside of that sphere but it got me wondering if, as her son is now going to secondary school soon and she finds she’s not as hands on a mum, that she’s not finding enough from that lifestyle?
It could just be me looking into it too much but I’m wondering if other ‘trad wives’ are going to feel that this way of life isn’t going to sustain them in the long term.
I don't follow her closely at all, but like you I follow some of her friends because their posts are very wholesome and comforting. Some of their lives couldn't be further from mine, but it's a nice bit of escapism, as you say. Alena recently left Instagram and she didn't say she was trying to move in a new direction, but it could have something to do with it. Maybe it's a different phase in her life?
On a different note, some of them are absolute grifters. You can tell them a mile off because they dress unnecessarily sexily for cleaning/cooking/whatever it is they're doing, and their content is obviously geared towards men.
I haven’t come across these ladies - I really only follow the ones who live like it’s the 1940s and dress that way too haha! teapotsandtablecloths, rememberingtheoldways and mrswarrscountryhome, those types of accounts.
Interestingly Alena did write that she didn’t feel herself when she was dressing in a vintage way, which I can see. In the photos when she’s dressed like that with her friends, you can tell it comes more natural to them but less to her.
Did you see the article she wrote about it? https://www.thedarlingacademy.com/articles/why-i-left-instagram/
I can understand and sympathise with her feelings, social media has changed a lot.
I find her husband a bit odd, whenever she posted a photo of him he was inevitably in his black T-shirt. I remember she got dressed up to go to a fancy hotel, wearing her Chanel handbag and he was in a black t shirt, brown shoes and light coloured trousers.
teapotsandtablecloths, rememberingtheoldways
I follow them both too. I love old stuff in general.
I follow them both too. I love old stuff in general.
An aside : I know a couple of Tradwives. What puzzles me is that they enthusiastically extol the virtues of the role.....yet they are pushing their daughters hard to achieve academical,y. 
As long as their not like the US Duggar and Bates families who only see marriage and being mothers, I don't see the harm in it personally.An aside : I know a couple of Tradwives. What puzzles me is that they enthusiastically extol the virtues of the role.....yet they are pushing their daughters hard to achieve academical,y.
Pushing the daughters is giving them the ability to choose later and have options in the future.
If I'm being honest, I'd say its more so they can mix in higher-echelon-circles, and bag a wealthy guy.
@thegirlscout I did read that article and remember thinking it kind of makes sense. Running an account with a fairly large following must get a bit exhausting at times and suck some of the fun out of it. Re her husband, their styles do look a bit mismatched, but in a way it's nice as it's obvious they're not together for a matching 'aesthetic'.
I don't even really think of Alena's friends as falling into the tradwife camp, though I suppose it depends how you define it. They don't really talk much about the ins and outs of their relationships etc. - they just seem to like old stuff and living a simple (though sometimes in reality probably quite expensive) life.
When I think of 'tradwives' I think more of people like Estee Williams whose life seems to be dedicated to the performance of being a perfect wife.
I don't even really think of Alena's friends as falling into the tradwife camp, though I suppose it depends how you define it. They don't really talk much about the ins and outs of their relationships etc. - they just seem to like old stuff and living a simple (though sometimes in reality probably quite expensive) life.
When I think of 'tradwives' I think more of people like Estee Williams whose life seems to be dedicated to the performance of being a perfect wife.
I would say I think theres a big difference between "tradwife" and a traditional wife. The tradwife thing as a movement seems alt right and antifeminist in origin and quite sinister. Whereas theres nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum, or liking the aesthetics of the 50s for example. I think theres a difference though and I'd be cautious of aligning myself with the term tradwife unless of course thats really what you mean!
OT but weirdly just recently I've been driving through a local village and I can almost see people form 100 years ago scurrying around. A lot of the houses are converted from shops and still have the shop fronts. It's made me think is life really better now, with us all working just to buy more shite. I imagine an awful lot of 2nd incomes go on levelling up to compensate for not being at home so much. 2 cars instead of 1 because both have to get to work, childcare, guilt purchases, electronic games to keep the kids entertained while we catch up with all the stuff that previously would have been done while the kids were at School. I was lucky enough to be a SAHM for 5 years then went back to work part time but I really feel for families now. It's a tit time to be both a parent and a child.
From the tradwives I’ve seen on Instagram the “movement” is mostly American in roots, crunchy, anti pharma, homeschooling, homestead, barefoot in the kitchen. Used to be crunchy was for hippies but now it’s a pipeline to far right politics and values.
That’s just the depiction I’ve seen. Most stay at home mums wouldn’t be considered part of it
That’s just the depiction I’ve seen. Most stay at home mums wouldn’t be considered part of it
That’s very true! I just wish he’d wear a shirt once in awhile to special events. When Alena had instagram it seemed like every post I saw him in, he had a black t shirt on! It’s not like he’s not making enough money to buys a few!
Whilst I don’t know if I could ever be a full time housewife, I do think housewives and stay at home mums are demonised in our society today. It’s hard work running a house and taking on the bulk of the childcare, even if it’s your choice. It’s funny, we fought for women to have a choice with work but yet we can recoil when one says she’s a stay at home mum or homemaker. Being a homemaker and a SAHM is just as valuable as being a mum who works.
I feel like Alena and her friends aren’t really trad wives because, whilst some of Alena’s views are a bit uncommon in this day and age, I really just associate the movement with women who are very right wing in their opinion: they think feminism is cancer, they hate the government (unless it’s Republican), they are very religious to the point of evangelicalism, the men and sons are king, the man is the head of the house no matter what, etc. Tradwives seem like they have no freedom - if the poor woman had flu or was heavily pregnant their husbands would still expect the house to be spotless and their dinner on the table. This extreme-ness also seems to be an American trait.
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I think there are so many positives about living in this era (improved healthcare, reduction in racism and sexism, rights for gay and lesbian people, etc) but I do feel we have lost some great things from the past. We don’t really have a sense of community anymore. People don’t really have long term friendships with their neighbours, local transport is terrible so we rely on cars, children easily spend excess time on electronics, etc.
@thegirlscout Looks like you've been called out on her FB
Attachments
I know! Eeep! The group is private so you’re from there too
Eep, it must have touched a nerve. I was surprised when you mentioned it was Alena; she has built her brand and personality trait of Britishness. Maybe she didn't have much choice in the matter, if the move was for her husband and his work.
That’s what I meant! I didn’t mean she was an actual traitor which is how she and her ladies took it. She’s just so British in everything she does (even though I know she has Danish heritage).
The weirdest thing about this whole thing is that Alena's thread is so quiet. There's hardly any activity on it at all.
I think if you are going to wax lyrical about the virtues of a particular lifestyle then you can't be shocked or surprised if people critique that. We don't make choices in a vacuum after all. And I say that as a stay at home parent in a fairly traditional heterosexual relationship.
I think if you are going to wax lyrical about the virtues of a particular lifestyle then you can't be shocked or surprised if people critique that. We don't make choices in a vacuum after all. And I say that as a stay at home parent in a fairly traditional heterosexual relationship.