The Tim Tracker #243 Y do u do dat?

[bumpire]

Stick to giving wrong info in the parks.

Thread title

 

[airbusA330]

@xmasbdaygirl and the bike riding—that’s totally fine because you’re great parents. And to the others who didn’t learn to ride a bike, yall are fine. Obviously! But we all know Dim likely isn’t fine with Jackpot not riding a bike. Dim is stupidly competitive about the dumbest shit. He wants Jackpot to like everything he did. He’s a shit parent and makes it about himself. Then again, Dim’s more present than the festering boil known as “mother.”

Also I’m still shocked at how few videos crack 100K now. The downfall was fast and you’d think they’d be freaking out more but I guess Patreon is holding them up. They’re likely saving $800 a month in food due to the GLP-1.

 

[Snippysnips]

Dim's excuse is that he "wanted to get a feel for it" before Budley sees it. And now he's saying it's too scary for Budley to see it in theaters so he should watch it at home.

And yet, they were watching Tarzan while staying at the treehouse...

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

My guess is, he hated the film an rather than suck it up an watch it again with the boys, he's just using the excuse it's too scary so he doesn't need to see it, from what I've heard the film is really good an perfect for kids, but fake ass dimmy isn't a gamer so of course he's not gonna like a gamer film

 

[EthelMay]

Is Dim going to live in that Cromulent Basement hat?


Oh and he dropped some sausage, peppers and mustard on his shorts

 

[erry]

And again, she should’ve cut the entire scene out when she was trying to “show them” (the invisible people watching through the camera) what she found, and Jackson just flat out refused.
Jenn, one day, that kid is going to be bigger than you, taller than you, stronger than you. He’s going to try to take something from your hand, and he might actually hurt you. It’s not funny, correct the behavior NOW.

 

[erry]

And Tim obsessing over the bakers oven. Dude calm your tits, air fryers do the same damn thing and they are even smaller. Mind blowing right.

 

[eatcherheartout]

How was Nick able to score a cast member preview? Through his job? I do agree it was shitty of him to invite Tim. Tim doesn’t care about Nick, only what Nick can do for him. Tim doesn’t even care about the ride or about Toy Story. And what person doesn’t know “To Infinity and beyond” is said by Buzz Lightyear?

 

[xmasbdaygirl]

I know we started a banned word alphabet list a while ago was urban on it by chance?

I'm not sure, but I'd bet $100 that "chainz" is also on the banned word list.

Wake the fuck up Courtney. This is who your employers are.

 

[Snippysnips]

Regarding the boys eating so well, Jen says Oliver ate half of his chicken, a quarter of his broccoli and a quarter of his fruit.

Before:
View attachment 3945828

After:
View attachment 3945829

Counting the pieces of chicken I don't think he ate a single piece. He might've eaten one piece of broccoli and maybe 2-3 pieces of fruit.

That chicken isn't even touched, if my neice left all that I'd be like nahhh your eating more, even at Os age she'd have eaten just about all of that, I actually served her a plate not far off the size of ours last time I had her an she ate like 90% of it, but then she doesn't get allowed to fill up on sugary shit just before meals either

If gin goes about stuffing her face with meals an hour before her next then I can only imagine she sees no problem in letting the boys eat shit just before meals, which means they aren't gonna touch a dinner

 

[Quasimodo]

Who needs to know what the day of the week is? Certainly not these two grown adults.

Their camera sucks. Either Dim's got the trembles real bad or they don't have a stabilizer or it's not turned on.

 

[xmasbdaygirl]

Unfortunately, I don’t see a world where Oliver will ever have the opportunity to actually ride a ride.
Jackson doesn’t like the rides, so it’ll be “the kids don’t like the rides” or “the kids won’t/can’t wait in line” or “the line is too long for the kids”

If there comes a day when he verbally says hey I want to ride that ride, the lines will be too long, and LL won’t be available.

I know a mom of 7 year old twin girls, and it’s constantly “the twins”
I have to take the twins here
The twins are going
The twins are sick
The twins want
Those girls have no identity other than being twins. Just like Oliver will have to be part of “the kids” for the rest of his life

Have we ever seen O ride something other than the Tomorrowland Speedway?

The March photo dump they just posted on instagram really highlights their priorities in life:
17 photos total.
6 photos of Tim and Jenn before a pic of one of the kids (and surprisingly it's birthday boy O).
Only 6 photos of the 17 have the children.
3 of just O.
3 with both J$ and O.
One of those is from behind. The family shot has J$ being physically held back by Jenn and he's doing something with his head like--get the hell away from me, bitch. The 3rd pic of both boys looks like it could be a shot from a video. That's saying to me that J$ is really uncooperative about having his photo taken. J$ didn't appear in this last home vlog at all. I wonder if he's really acting up around the camera?

And before someone comes at me---I personally wish they wouldn't show either child ever on YouTube, Instagram, wherever, but I know when the children do not appear, that's not because the Bojos have decided to follow my advice. It's either because they want to be childfree and happy or something else is up.

 

[Orangebird]

I’ve never flown a kite with my now 15 year old but it’s also not on our bucket list. If it was…we’d have done it already. It’s not like it’s some big expensive or rare thing. I had a Jolly Green Giant kite when I was 5. We got it by sending in upc codes from our frozen veggies. It took months to finally get it. The day it arrived, my mom took me into the field next to our house and it promptly got stuck high up in a tree. So yeah…guilty of not adding kiting to my bucket list lol. It’s like Jenn says these things she wants to do and easily could…but has no plans to really do them. She will be old one day and really regret just talking to camera for strangers instead of actually doing shit.

 

[xmasbdaygirl]

Patreon paid membership dropped from 737 yesterday to 722 today. Jenn better return whatever was in the Sugarboo bag, it’s going to be tight this month.

Those would be the folks who cancelled before April 1st. I wonder if people were holding out for the 3 month gift, saw it was ridiculous for their $75, and bailed. Or that gas is going to be $5/gallon soon which means we're about to see an increase in prices for everything.

 

[And Now It's Time to Splu]

Regarding those nasty ass dishes you know it has to smell in there. I don't know why they readily talk about doing shit like that. That's pretty pretty embarrassing.

And I wonder how Mike got out from behind the camera. The hair does not make him look young.

 

[Quasimodo]

Congrats to group project winners: @trouble843 @Quasimodo and @merann109 for the thread title.


Oliver had an unsurprisingly lame birthday, consisting of a few Pokemon presents, a cupcake and a full diaper. They took him to visit to a cat café where they most likely would have come home with a kitten if Tim hadn’t slightly put his foot down and convince Jen it was a bad idea. Now if only he could learn to do that with other things. Jen lets us all know that Oliver’s real big celebration will be during a Spring Break trip—that will also include a celebration for Jackson, natch.

Tim travels out to California and gives a mixed review tribute to the Woo. Tim is awkwardly distant from all the other Woo BFFs who are all gathered on stage together whilst Tim is down in the audience, tapping the top of his water bottle instead of clapping like the weirdo he is.

While in California, he visits Disneyland and disses the castle, eats a corn dog, Woo Hoo Hoos and talks through the duration of every single ride he partakes in, again natch.

Back home, Tim treks out to Epic to talk booty butt with Yosh (apparently they are on nickname terms) followed by the typical merch fondling and eating. We do learn that blue frosting give Tim blue poops, so we all now have that great image in our heads. This excursion was the only thing Tim did that entire week. I guess he likes to pre-vacation as well as his usual post-vacation.

The Spring Break trip ends up being a rental house on Anna Maria Island. The rental house runs about $12-20 per week, so they are wisely spending the Patreon money. There are no vids posted for 7 days because they decided to take a vacation from their vacation of a life and not do any work at all. Well, except for the bonus Patreon mini-vlog that Jen touts as being one of the great new perks. But it’s only for the top tier suckers. It should be a reminder to the stans that they don’t give any shits about them unless they fork over the big bucks. But several schmucks thought that was a great deal so the Palm Trees are currently sold out.

They spent several days not filming whilst The Cousins were there and the footage is just from Thursday to Saturday morning and It's typical Tracker AMI vacation, with lots of shots of the boys playing in the sand while Jen sleeps in and avoids doing anything other than sitting on her still ample ass. Jen complains that all the restaurants don't have any reservations available, but methinks they don't want to deal with the boys at restaurants so they are stuck at home eating burnt hot dogs and burnt pizza. They do go out once on a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride trip on the golf cart where Tim simply holds onto Oliver with one arm while steering with the other. Luckily, the ride doesn't end the same. At least not on this trip.

Despite saying what an incredible time they had, it wouldn’t be a Tracker vacation unless there was a shitload of complaining. There were other people on the beach. There were tents set up on the beach disrupting their beautiful view. The weather was too cold and chilly. The pool was in the shade and was a freezing 80 degrees. They didn’t get seated on the sand at the restaurant.

I thought we were done with this, but back to counting the utterances: “cold” = 8, “chilly” = 10, and infinity for the number of times they brag about how the beach is right outside their back door. There’s no mention whether they actually did anything else for Oliver’s birthday. I assume not.


previous thread:

The Tim Tracker # 242 He's not an introvert, he's just an a-hole

New thread title courtesy of @xmasbdaygirl (hopefully the a-hole will be ok) Old thread here: https://tattle.life/threads/the-tim-tracker-241-omg-budley-loves-pokemongo-so-dim-flew-to-l-a-to-play-without-him.52079/

tattle.life

That last thread really was something.

 

[esc2476]

They hate their backyard that they put so much money into because they have no taste and didn't think of it practically. They put an island for people to sit at as if they ever entertain anyone. Dim put the speakers and for what.....is he going to blast Harry Styles? The outdoor fridge etc etc.
I am convinced Nicole designed J$ nursery because it was quite nice. Speaking of which....wouldn't it be time to make his room into a boys themed room now?

I mean, the grill against the house is really special. That’s why you get professionals, who know what they’re doing, to install those things. There’s no way that shouldn’t be on the island.

 

[mjm9]

Re: Tim’s oura ring

Imo, a wedding ring is a sacred outward symbol of an inward vow made.

Why did Tim replace his with an oura ring?

If he really wanted an oura ring as a part of his health journey. Fine. But out of all the fingers he has available to wear a ring on, he chose his left hand ring finger.

What are you trying to tell the world, Tim?

 

[erry]

I remember in one of their last DVC stays, Tim was like book with this company (whichever company they’re using) and they will give you a good “deal”- something along those lines.
I immediately thought “ouch! Wrong words Tim, wrong words!” If I was a real unwell asshole, I would’ve called and said THE Tim Tracker said you’d give me a deal! This is not a deal!”

I know he’s a PR nightmare.

Hope he used better wording this time around.

 

[xmasbdaygirl]

I miss fat Ginn. She wasn't as full of herself and didn't have these stupid, cocky mannerisms she has now. Her fake confidence is annoying as hell and she's even more insufferable now to watch. Still waddles though.

And she was kind out of breath a bit, pacing back and forth like a maniac.

 

[And Now It's Time to Splu]

I think Cringy forces them to "play" with others. They used to would ignore a lot of other vloggers existence. I doubt had they got started when a lot of their competition did that they'd be near as successful. They really do live on their own little island.