The Things Influencers Say That Make You Squirm

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I studied modern languages at school some years ago, I'm quite concerned that by the time I have children and they start school, part of the curriculem will be "Influencer language" because they appear to have a language all of their own and to be truthful, it's annoying. REALLY annoying.

What do influencers/Instagrammers say all the time that get on your bonce?

I'll start...

"On my grid"
 
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All the best. We're all in it together. Hello my lovelies. I don't get paid to review this product......so many!
 
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We're all in this together - Whatever
I couldn't do this without you - Roughly translates as I couldn't make money selling tat without you gullible idiots
Hi guys - Just makes me think of Sloth from the Goonies (Hey you guys)
This is amazing - Used to describe every item they are brand reps for even if it is rubbish
 
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'I'm so excited! ' for everything, including things that really aren't exciting.
'share the love' meaning I need more followers
 
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Kindly gifted
Kindly sent
Kindly invited

Aka : free shite to be flogged to my minions
 
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This is everything

(in the comments section in response to a 'profound' post from another influencer)

Yassssssss!
 
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Happy Monday!
Happy Tuesday!
Happy Wednesday!
Happy Thursday!
Happy Friday!
Happy Saturday!
Happy Sunday!
 
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'I'm so excited! ' for everything, including things that really aren't exciting.
'share the love' meaning I need more followers
Oh there’s one account that pisses me to my core with how fucking excited she is all the time

So many people have asked me to share so many people have commented this
Sorry for the radio silence
I’m coming to you live
Swipe up

Boomerangs for the sake of nothing
 
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When they say that YouTube and Instagram is a full time job You might get paid to do it but don’t insult us by saying you work so hard. You sell your lives,, that’s what you get paid for.
 
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on Stories -

'just hopping on'

'just posted on the grid' followed by a screenshot of said post scribbled out in a vain attempt to drive traffic to like their crappy post
 
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Living my best life
So, so, so... cute, lovely, exciting etc etc
Holy grail
Good egg

Ugh, actually the worst - mooch! mooching, having a mooch! Nails on a chalkboard for me
 
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Literally
Not gonna lie
I'm so excited to use this
One of my favourite products (yet never seen them use it before!)
Sic
Gorgeous (just the way Zoella calls Alfie it)
 
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“Talky story /stories”
“Hope everyone is having a happy Monday” - no you don’t
“Just thought I would pop on”
“Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet”- no need to apologise
 
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  1. hello my lovelies
  2. I am doing this for you
  3. not sponsored ( )
  4. subscribe and hit the bell (No)
  5. I am going to do a real 12 hour wear test of this foundation - stays in the house all day doing fuck all, a real wear test love is put it on at 6am, get a bus in the RAIN, work for 8 hours in a room with no temperature control, get the bus home in a hail storm, make food in steaming kitchen, wash brats in steaming bath - THEN AND ONLY THEN tell me if it stands up to 12 hours of wear.
  6. its amazing, i love it, new holy grail (you have had it on your noggin 3 minutes)
  7. I love all my subscribers - nope, nope you don't you lying Mac Liar face
 
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When they can't think of any adjectives to describe each item in a haul, so they just keep repeating 'I think this so cute' 'I love this'.
 
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