The Things Influencers Say That Make You Squirm

[Member 4330]

Happy Monday!
Happy Tuesday!
Happy Wednesday!
Happy Thursday!
Happy Friday!
Happy Saturday!
Happy Sunday!

 

[Cooriedoon]

When they say that YouTube and Instagram is a full time job You might get paid to do it but don’t insult us by saying you work so hard. You sell your lives,, that’s what you get paid for.

 

[Practically Perfect]

1. hello my lovelies
2. I am doing this for you
3. not sponsored ( )
4. subscribe and hit the bell (No)
5. I am going to do a real 12 hour wear test of this foundation - stays in the house all day doing fuck all, a real wear test love is put it on at 6am, get a bus in the RAIN, work for 8 hours in a room with no temperature control, get the bus home in a hail storm, make food in steaming kitchen, wash brats in steaming bath - THEN AND ONLY THEN tell me if it stands up to 12 hours of wear.
6. its amazing, i love it, new holy grail (you have had it on your noggin 3 minutes)
7. I love all my subscribers - nope, nope you don't you lying Mac Liar face

 

[motherofdonkeys]

on Stories -

'just hopping on'

'just posted on the grid' followed by a screenshot of said post scribbled out in a vain attempt to drive traffic to like their crappy post

 

[F the dust.]

All the best. We're all in it together. Hello my lovelies. I don't get paid to review this product......so many!

 

[anony mouse]

I've had so many messages asking me.........eh bet they haven't had any.

 

[Instagrime]

Kindly gifted
Kindly sent
Kindly invited

Aka : free shite to be flogged to my minions

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Haul


It's ya shopping now put it away and fuck off!

 

[rocksalt101]

Doing it for the 'gram

 

[Yel]

OB-sessed with

 

[Unicornhorn]

'I'm so excited! ' for everything, including things that really aren't exciting.
'share the love' meaning I need more followers

Oh there’s one account that pisses me to my core with how fucking excited she is all the time

So many people have asked me to share so many people have commented this
Sorry for the radio silence
I’m coming to you live
Swipe up

Boomerangs for the sake of nothing

 

[fmmac]

Living my best life
So, so, so... cute, lovely, exciting etc etc
Holy grail
Good egg

Ugh, actually the worst - mooch! mooching, having a mooch! Nails on a chalkboard for me

 

[U Wot]

This is everything

(in the comments section in response to a 'profound' post from another influencer)

Yassssssss!

 

[RachyWoo]

Literally
Not gonna lie
I'm so excited to use this
One of my favourite products (yet never seen them use it before!)
Sic
Gorgeous (just the way Zoella calls Alfie it)

 

[onlyhereforthetea]

We're all in this together - Whatever
I couldn't do this without you - Roughly translates as I couldn't make money selling tat without you gullible idiots
Hi guys - Just makes me think of Sloth from the Goonies (Hey you guys)
This is amazing - Used to describe every item they are brand reps for even if it is rubbish

 

[Keepitw0nky]

I’ll link *whatever they’re flogging* “down below”

Every time I hear that I just think vagina

 

[yepmetoo]

You’ve got this mama or just mama in general

Dress/shoes/house/of dreams

Solo parenting (Gives me the absolute rage)

Reached out (to another influencer)

Kindly gifted/ad/so lucky to be working with

Care to play along? (Not used so often on instagram now but was regularly said when the whole WYDN was a fad)

That dress though - followed with a

I have this thing with floors/tiles whatever it is (no you don’t your just copying ever bugger else that has those Instagram famous tiles.

I could go on and on and on pretty much anything said on Instagram!

Oh and girl/mum boss and strong girls club especially when it’s written on a slogan t shirt -

 

[Noname123]

“Talky story /stories”
“Hope everyone is having a happy Monday” - no you don’t
“Just thought I would pop on”
“Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet”- no need to apologise

 

[Noseybint]

I feel honoured to have been sent this (£6 worth of ass wax and a shitty bath bomb)

Oh you guys are the bestest

Hello my lovlies.. (condescending cu*t)

I was approached by this fab company. (I messaged and begged this shitty company and guilted them into free stuff)

 

[SherlockHuns]

'I'm so excited! ' for everything, including things that really aren't exciting.
'share the love' meaning I need more followers