The psychology of instagram

[Itsallaboutmememe]

I was once sat with my son his girlfriend his mate and my boyfriend in a cafe
we where all sat watching 3/4 girls squealing about ‘getting the best light/angle’ for a picture of their food
20 minutes later they seemed to have the picture for the gram
they then tried to send it back cos ‘it’s cold’
course it was!
we timed you and you took around 20 minutes just to take one poxy photo!
the owner (thankfully) tore them a new one and they did eat their stone cold food-in which time we’d eaten our hot food and it was lovely but what a waste if the owner had caved and made them a new dish each
if that’s the amount of effort that goes into one photo I’m glad I can just eat mine with no fuss

 

[Ohmydays]

Something I've found with these Instagrammers is the more popular their page gets, the more money they waste because they need to go and find something to be able to post on there (unless they get gifted items). You often see they buy things they don't actually need and I'm sure lots are in debt.

It can become addictive as you worry about losing followers or your page looking or becoming boring and more criticism but I actually respect the Instagrammers who actually have a life aside from their page.

Also as added above, it's the perfect place for fake IGers and narcissists to get internet fame from, many are low in self esteem deep down and getting likes, comments and freebies picks up their esteem but with the internet will come trolls and criticism which many can't take.

I’ve just seen @LornaLuxe receive a box of fake nails and lashes and say ‘I’m thinking what I might do is a tutorial to show you how to stick them on ‘ I think it’s the most obvious thing to do ‘
Why do brands need to send so much stuff the these greedy grabbers !

 

[MaeveWiley]

I'm off SM 4 months now and I feel like a new person. I always encourage all my patients in work to come off it.

I was at a gig tonight with my sister. And a 14/15 year old was crying throughout the whole feicin thing and everytime proper tears arrived she would film herself crying/singing along and I was like... great. We're all guinea pigs with social media... Vanity and self obsession is not a good thing and imagine how all these kids are going to turn out...

 

[Fin]

The problem with Instagram is how it has allowed people to partner up with brands and make money from it. So accounts and posts have changed over time. Where they would once be original and interesting to follow, they become staged and full of affiliate links, ads etc. Photos become staged and some families use their kids to help sell products. They will do anything for engagement - it’s all about becoming popular and noticed so that brands approach them. Some have even recruited the help from PR agencies, and request free stuff from companies on Twitter! People stoop so low in order to gain recognition. Most of the accounts I have followed are already very wealthy, but the greed is on an all time high. Instagram feeds these people’s egos too - it’s like an addiction, they require constant validation. It’s really not good for mental health issues.

Very well said Rosiepie, sums it up perfectly. I know someone who was approached by numerous brands on Twitter after one of their totally innocuous tweets went viral. They didn't take up any of the offers.

 

[Horatio]

Right? It’s mad that kids today don’t know a word without it. Teenagers, even, probably don’t remember anything else. I pity them. School social hierarchies and cliques were bad enough when I was navigating them 00-07 (so we did have MySpace but it wasn’t huge and the people that had that used it to speak to others online, not people at school and for music. Then the last year or two everyone was on bebo and eventually Facebook but none of that really had much of an impact, it was too early)
From the ages of 11 to about 14 I was desperate to be popular to an embarrassing degree. I know for certain that seeing pictures of the actual ‘cool ‘ people hanging out would have made me more unhappy and obsessed with popularity than I already was. I hope any theoretical kid of mine would be more sensible,and happier,but damn, it must be hard.

As for Instagram itself, I wonder how different it would be if you couldn’t make any money from it? I know regular posting and rambling hashtag filled captions are good for engagement but I feel like people would still be addicted to the approval and fuelling their narcissistic urges. I’ll be honest though, I’m fully aware how gross influencer culture is but given the opportunity to do a brand deal and earn a few k out just by uploading to Instagram I’d do it in an instant. I would never want it to be my job, but I’m not going to say no to easy money. I’d never try to get big on there though, not only because it’s too late to get noticed now, but because I find all the self promotion so embarrassing. But in a hypothetical sense, I would do a brand deal in an instant.

I like Instagram for keeping in touch with a few old friends and family and seeing what they are doing. I like following the lives of celebrities I should know better for. Memes, of course. And most of all I like the really niche interests stuff. I follow this Iranian account that just posts pictures of Samuel Beckett (one of my favourite writers) with comments in Farsi written on them I don’t understand and can’t translate (directly on the pictures so I can’t copy and paste)
It’s great. But overall if I could obliterate all social media from ever existing right now I probably would. I mean, my boyfriend is from
New York, where we met , and I’m from London and without Facebook and Skype we never would have been able to keep in touch in the early years, so if I obliterated it we probably wouldn’t be together...oh well. Still doing it.

 

[Joosephine]

I'm on holidays at the minute...followed the hotels Instagram and hashtag before flying out. Boy was I disappointed. Its nothing like the pics. A lot smaller too. If a building can be portrayed so different makes you think about the lives people portray.

 

[Orange Creme]

I had a decent following a couple of years back and the pressure to post and the constant need for validation were a contributing factor to me having a mental breakdown. My mental health was shit and I spent a huge amount of time trying to hide it in real life and Instagram allowed me to take that facade even further. In the end I was posting 3/4 times a day and felt pressure to be doing aspirational things, pointlessly spending money and being the perfect wife/mother/friend when in reality I was balls deep in a mental health crisis and wasn’t even looking after myself never mind anything or anyone else. It makes me feel like shit thinking about it now because people would have looked at my account and thought I was super happy with a great life.

I barely post on Instagram anymore, have lost a large number of followers and am far happier than I was then. It’s a fucked up place, especially for those that are already emotionally or mentally vulnerable and it’s been a long road to recovery for me which isn’t helped by the amount of people posting their “perfect” lives online.

This is such an honest post and everything you've said is the reason I dread my kids ending up on social media

Hope you're doing better now xx

 

[my_escape_from_the_ads]

My account started as a weight loss account. It wasn’t massive but I was popular and got shout outs from some of the bigger SW accounts. Had a few freebies but nothing earth shattering. Spent more money on shite trying to keep up appearances than I ever get back in free stuff. I can’t obviously speak for everyone but it’s very competitive and pressured and it’s like trying to fit in with the mean girls at school I guess. I would be so envious of people who got more likes/comments than I did. I stopped posting regularly before stories really took off and I’m glad because I think if I’d have kept going I’d have ended up just talking absolute nonsense into stories for hours at a time and probably becoming more obsessed with it than I already was. My life is by no means perfect now but I have a good grip on reality and what’s important in life and things are no longer dictated by an app.

Glad you are happier, and in touch with reality, and I hope your mental health is all good now I think the psychology of SM is quite fascinating. Would be a fascinating subject to study in great depth at uni now.

 

[Miss98]

I know someone who has a toxic relationship (on both sides) with her boyfriend, but if I didn’t know her irl and had to judge only from her social media I’d be thinking they were the perfect couple. They only post selfies while doing something exciting so it makes their lives look cool, and they’ve been Facebook official for years yet their status obviously doesn’t show every time they’ve changed it back to single over those years, and so on. This woman is just an average person without any social media expertise or any advisors, so it’s scary to think what the bigger accounts could be hiding. No wonder social media is making people miserable

I think sadly that's very common, couples posting how amazing their relationships are when they are having domestics or rows every 5 minutes and probably did 5 minutes before the pic they put up. People (especially relationship wise) tend to air too much dirty laundry about each other, paticularly women on their boyfriends or exes and the constant on and off relationships, it can get so toxic. Especially knowing that there's children growing up around an environment where mum and dad are constantly arguing then in some Mr and Mrs Smith scene next back on a moment later. The couples who seem to post so publically are the ones who seem to be so unhappy, it seems.

 

[slugella]

I use instagram, don't have a big following at all and genuinely am not bothered by likes - I post very rarely, and its usually a nature type shot if I'm on a walk or something.

I unfollowed all celebrities a while ago and felt so much better for it. Seeing people looking stunning and living a protrayed "dream life" just didn't add anything to my life and I think was quite damaging. Also unfollowed all influencers as there are none I genuinely like these days so why should I contribute to their following.

I work in conservation so my feed is now mostly following wildlife bloggers and journalists etc.

I do still follow people I know in real life but I'm considering starting a new account and deleting my old one and just making it nature focused.

I have travelled a lot and relocated a lot for jobs and I'm noticing now how I feel so lonely from it. I don't regret it as I've had amazing opportunities through it, but it makes me so sad seeing old groups of friends remain close and me feeling left out and that I don't have that core group. Friendship is something I value so now I feel like I've somehow done it all wrong. And these feelings mostly come from social media, back in the day you never would have had such an insight into everything you miss out on.

I was considering starting a thread about friendship as it's been on my mind a lot lately and not something I've spoken to anyone irl about.

 

[Ohmydays]

I had a decent following a couple of years back and the pressure to post and the constant need for validation were a contributing factor to me having a mental breakdown. My mental health was shit and I spent a huge amount of time trying to hide it in real life and Instagram allowed me to take that facade even further. In the end I was posting 3/4 times a day and felt pressure to be doing aspirational things, pointlessly spending money and being the perfect wife/mother/friend when in reality I was balls deep in a mental health crisis and wasn’t even looking after myself never mind anything or anyone else. It makes me feel like shit thinking about it now because people would have looked at my account and thought I was super happy with a great life.

I barely post on Instagram anymore, have lost a large number of followers and am far happier than I was then. It’s a fucked up place, especially for those that are already emotionally or mentally vulnerable and it’s been a long road to recovery for me which isn’t helped by the amount of people posting their “perfect” lives onlin

@TheWitchIsBack I’ve often wondered about this because some of the people On there often admit to mental health issues but still put themselves out there . You’ve explained a lot in your honest post .. I can only imagine that when the ‘good times‘ are rolling it must be bloody amazing to have all these brands pushing stuff on you and inviting you to wonderful places and paying you .. but then you must be selling your soul until the next big collab comes along ... ££££ I think they live in this unreal world were everyone constantly praises them ... it’s Unhealthy life isn’t like that !
I COULD understand / believe it more if let’s say they wear a shite outfit / share a shite prog and their followers post negative comments and the IG’r held their hands up and said ‘ oops that didn’t go down well ‘ but they don’t .. they delete the comments and block the follower meanwhile adding to their anxiety and its as you’ve just said it’s that ‘constant need for validation’
But still it continues .. ££££££ speaks several languages

 

[Rosiepie]

My account started as a weight loss account. It wasn’t massive but I was popular and got shout outs from some of the bigger SW accounts. Had a few freebies but nothing earth shattering. Spent more money on shite trying to keep up appearances than I ever get back in free stuff. I can’t obviously speak for everyone but it’s very competitive and pressured and it’s like trying to fit in with the mean girls at school I guess. I would be so envious of people who got more likes/comments than I did. I stopped posting regularly before stories really took off and I’m glad because I think if I’d have kept going I’d have ended up just talking absolute nonsense into stories for hours at a time and probably becoming more obsessed with it than I already was. My life is by no means perfect now but I have a good grip on reality and what’s important in life and things are no longer dictated by an app.

So true - social media can be so addictive. I’m glad you are ok - it can really affect people’s mental health so badly x

 

[chocolate choux]

I think sadly that's very common, couples posting how amazing their relationships are when they are having domestics or rows every 5 minutes and probably did 5 minutes before the pic they put up. People (especially relationship wise) tend to air too much dirty laundry about each other, paticularly women on their boyfriends or exes and the constant on and off relationships, it can get so toxic. Especially knowing that there's children growing up around an environment where mum and dad are constantly arguing then in some Mr and Mrs Smith scene next back on a moment later. The couples who seem to post so publically are the ones who seem to be so unhappy, it seems.

That’s true, I think the main concern is young/impressionable people seeing toxic relationships and emulating them, or seeing ‘perfect’ relationships and feeling like their own relationship isn’t good enough because they have (a healthy amount of) disagreements and differences. I agree that this will be damaging to any children who are personally involved. I grew up with family members who were stuck in abusive relationships and witnessed how one minute horrific things were happening yet the next minute they were the acting like newlyweds. It would’ve been even more confusing if social media was involved and I really feel for any children who’s parents are in a toxic relationship, yet everyone thinks they’re the perfect couple due to their ability to portray themselves that way on social media (or everyone knows every detail of their dirty laundry)

 

[tell no lies]

In an originald

I think sadly that's very common, couples posting how amazing their relationships are when they are having domestics or rows every 5 minutes and probably did 5 minutes before the pic they put up. People (especially relationship wise) tend to air too much dirty laundry about each other, paticularly women on their boyfriends or exes and the constant on and off relationships, it can get so toxic. Especially knowing that there's children growing up around an environment where mum and dad are constantly arguing then in some Mr and Mrs Smith scene next back on a moment later. The couples who seem to post so publically are the ones who seem to be so unhappy, it seems.

I know a top influencer, she's married , THEY portray themselves on Instagram as The most loved up romantic couple ... Her followers are in awe of him now before they didn't know he existed But recently ONE of them had an affair !!!!

 

[Rosiepie]

I use instagram, don't have a big following at all and genuinely am not bothered by likes - I post very rarely, and its usually a nature type shot if I'm on a walk or something.

I unfollowed all celebrities a while ago and felt so much better for it. Seeing people looking stunning and living a protrayed "dream life" just didn't add anything to my life and I think was quite damaging. Also unfollowed all influencers as there are none I genuinely like these days so why should I contribute to their following.

I work in conservation so my feed is now mostly following wildlife bloggers and journalists etc.

I do still follow people I know in real life but I'm considering starting a new account and deleting my old one and just making it nature focused.

I have travelled a lot and relocated a lot for jobs and I'm noticing now how I feel so lonely from it. I don't regret it as I've had amazing opportunities through it, but it makes me so sad seeing old groups of friends remain close and me feeling left out and that I don't have that core group. Friendship is something I value so now I feel like I've somehow done it all wrong. And these feelings mostly come from social media, back in the day you never would have had such an insight into everything you miss out on.

I was considering starting a thread about friendship as it's been on my mind a lot lately and not something I've spoken to anyone irl about.

You should start a thread on friendship and loneliness - I think that would be a very positive thing to do, and make you realise you are not alone, others will feel the same way. Social media can make people feel so lonely, despite being connected 24hrs. You can’t beat meeting someone who genuinely puts a smile on your face, or having a phone conversation, and receiving a real hug not an emoji. Real, genuine interactions make you feel human.

 

[Fin]

I literally cannot be arsed with Instagram and wouldn't even dream about buying anything some so called celebrity was punting on there when we all know they got it for free and it's actually shit. I just don't get people putting their whole life on Insta for the world to see, not to mention the narcissism that abounds on there. I'm glad I got through my teens and 20's without social media being a big thing like it is today. One of our offspring asked us how we amused ourselves before social media and smartphones. Sad but true. Funnily enough last year he and his girlfriend were with us in the outback in Australia, we had zero 4G or WiFi and we had a bloody great laugh having a few drinks and playing board games.

 

[Ohmydays]

You should start a thread on friendship and loneliness - I think that would be a very positive thing to do, and make you realise you are not alone, others will feel the same way. Social media can make people feel so lonely, despite being connected 24hrs. You can’t beat meeting someone who genuinely puts a smile on your face, or having a phone conversation, and receiving a real hug not an emoji. Real, genuine interactions make you feel human.

How do you find a thread ? I do a search on who I’m interested in but it doesn’t show me a thread !!

 

[slugella]

@Ohmydays There's one here : https://tattle.life/threads/loneliness-making-friends.4234/

 

[Rosiepie]

I’ve just found a thread called loneliness/ making friends but unsure how to link it.