- Notice
Squirrel108
Well-known member
Well I am literally in awe of the man, and think you may be all just be a little bit jealous. He has literally dazzled us with his skills and achievements so much lately. Let’s look at the evidence…..
1. CHEF , his skills with an air fryer and bread knife will become legendary in the future, and the way the man can expertly butter half a toasted currant tea cake makes me weep(literally) ,and of course we must always nod to his signature dish , the slurry, one pan alone can literally sustain and nourish for a fortnight.
2. TRAVEL AGENT, after a 7 minute online course to help him become an even bigger scammer, he will now ,literally be able to book on behalf of all you Joe Bloggs out there the shittiest fleapits ever known to man, and is not shy in demonstrating his dazzling new skills. Ladies and gentlemen may I present the Super 8 Motel Clearwater!! This leads me to….
3. TOUR GUIDE, the way the man can effortlessly read a Wikipedia fact from anywhere in the world whilst simultaneously racing from landmark to landmark with Pouty in his wake filming the back of his head is literally astonishing, anyone would think he literally wanted to get the sightseeing shit out of the way so he could get to the nearest hostelry for 5 blue moons and half a croque monsieur.
3. CARPENTER, his skills with a child’s paintbrush and 4 pieces of wood literally took my breath away, and as for his genius and ultra safe way of transporting from one luxury accommodation to another, wow. I mean a lesser man would have made it at the caravan where it was meant for, with literally all that outside space to work in, nope he thrills us by cleverly injecting a little more jeopardy into the proceedings, thus making the slog even more of a must see. Will his haphazard brushwork mean there will literally be paint all over the grey rug and floor; as he inexplicably uses it for his DIY wizardry!! Will the brakes fail and his spider slaying miracle screen garrotte him halfway up the A64! (
)
4. STYLE ICON, the way he can literally match a manky hoodie with anything and style it for any occasion. He can dress it up for meals out with friends and family, or for afternoon tea in a lovely hotel, perfectly matched with a primark bag. A bimble on the beach or mooch round town, it matters not. He literally just makes it look so je ne sais quoi.
5. WORDSMITH, his hilarious and constant mispronunciations, which he of course does on purpose to wind us up are literally amazing. He literally does not mind that all it does is show him to be the most uneducated numbskull on the planet. He does though share this remarkable skill with his not better half Pouty, who if I may say is even more talented at being the dumbest fuck at the Lodge. Displayed admirably last night may I say with the fabulous chef and Somalia line, we knew you meant Sommelier Pouty and you definately know what one is. You trickster
.
6. HOST WITH THE MOST, effortlessly catering for 10 guests with only a little help from good old Marks and Sparks and his trusty air fryer. So much food! Carrot sticks galore, 6 pounds of cheese expertly crafted into small bricks, a mountain of badly buttered bread, 3 individual quiches between 10 and ham which Pouty wanted rolled (like what Elaine did
). No need for that just throw it at a plate! Oh how I wish I was in the inner circle!
if you are still with me, I know it is a long one but I have had a busy few work weeks being a worthwhile member of society and needed to vent!!
1. CHEF , his skills with an air fryer and bread knife will become legendary in the future, and the way the man can expertly butter half a toasted currant tea cake makes me weep(literally) ,and of course we must always nod to his signature dish , the slurry, one pan alone can literally sustain and nourish for a fortnight.
2. TRAVEL AGENT, after a 7 minute online course to help him become an even bigger scammer, he will now ,literally be able to book on behalf of all you Joe Bloggs out there the shittiest fleapits ever known to man, and is not shy in demonstrating his dazzling new skills. Ladies and gentlemen may I present the Super 8 Motel Clearwater!! This leads me to….
3. TOUR GUIDE, the way the man can effortlessly read a Wikipedia fact from anywhere in the world whilst simultaneously racing from landmark to landmark with Pouty in his wake filming the back of his head is literally astonishing, anyone would think he literally wanted to get the sightseeing shit out of the way so he could get to the nearest hostelry for 5 blue moons and half a croque monsieur.
3. CARPENTER, his skills with a child’s paintbrush and 4 pieces of wood literally took my breath away, and as for his genius and ultra safe way of transporting from one luxury accommodation to another, wow. I mean a lesser man would have made it at the caravan where it was meant for, with literally all that outside space to work in, nope he thrills us by cleverly injecting a little more jeopardy into the proceedings, thus making the slog even more of a must see. Will his haphazard brushwork mean there will literally be paint all over the grey rug and floor; as he inexplicably uses it for his DIY wizardry!! Will the brakes fail and his spider slaying miracle screen garrotte him halfway up the A64! (
)4. STYLE ICON, the way he can literally match a manky hoodie with anything and style it for any occasion. He can dress it up for meals out with friends and family, or for afternoon tea in a lovely hotel, perfectly matched with a primark bag. A bimble on the beach or mooch round town, it matters not. He literally just makes it look so je ne sais quoi.
5. WORDSMITH, his hilarious and constant mispronunciations, which he of course does on purpose to wind us up are literally amazing. He literally does not mind that all it does is show him to be the most uneducated numbskull on the planet. He does though share this remarkable skill with his not better half Pouty, who if I may say is even more talented at being the dumbest fuck at the Lodge. Displayed admirably last night may I say with the fabulous chef and Somalia line, we knew you meant Sommelier Pouty and you definately know what one is. You trickster
.6. HOST WITH THE MOST, effortlessly catering for 10 guests with only a little help from good old Marks and Sparks and his trusty air fryer. So much food! Carrot sticks galore, 6 pounds of cheese expertly crafted into small bricks, a mountain of badly buttered bread, 3 individual quiches between 10 and ham which Pouty wanted rolled (like what Elaine did
). No need for that just throw it at a plate! Oh how I wish I was in the inner circle!if you are still with me, I know it is a long one but I have had a busy few work weeks being a worthwhile member of society and needed to vent!!
christinecolour
Member
As someone who knows people that are very close to them. I know a lot of people have washed there hands of them and no longer want to be associated including other YouTubers. They actually think they are famous. They told virgin cabin crew that they were famous vloggers. How embarrassing
ladyDeathStryke
Active member
Guys he added a fly screen that added about 100,000 in value to the lodge
OrlandoJonesy123
Chatty Member
1 minute 25 secs in and the bald one mentions the first ‘job’ today is lunch with Sandra and Steve. Phew go easy. Don’t want you over exerting yourself with all that work stuff.
Telly Fanatic
VIP Member
#27 Combover and Alky driving a mobile van, they will be over the limit but won't give a dam !
Flowerstar68
VIP Member
"Ooh, they've got rocking chairs, but they don't rock" Prick. In that case, they're called chairs.
ladyDeathStryke
Active member
Ok now Baldy is doing a comb forward with hair spray dye combo. Yikes. U cannot use a coupon book for a hair transplant bro. S/n taking these pictures was so satisfying. Shouts the the iPhone 13 Prom max for the great zoom.
Attachments
Hi all - long time lurker, first time poster here. (Full disclosure - we were short-term kerchingas at low level for a few months during first lockdown when the world went crazy, never in any sort of inner sanctum and entirely ignored at the £10 / month level. What were we doing???)
We (me, the wife and two teenagers) have just returned from Orlando. A few thoughts with respect to our mutual 'friends'.
1. The bloody serrated knife. Panic not, I've sussed this one. Imagine my delight one night just off International Drive when we decided to save some cash and try Golden Corral for tea. Then imagine the collective 'a-ha' moment when we were presented with our cutlery - including EXACTLY the same serrated knife Chef P uses to chop onions. Am I allowed to suggest he put one in his handbag on one of their many visits here? Knowing him he'd be proud to chop with a 'free' knife.
2. DAS - two of our party have orthopaedic issues, one awaiting surgery. We were blessed to have the opportunity to use DAS to avoid them having to stand in queues and be able to wait 'virtually'- it at least doubled what we were able to physically manage. If crowd levels when we were there are anything to go by, there's no way they could do the amount of things they show on vlogs without it. (Given that there's no way Prick would pay for Lightning lanes or Genie+).
3. Tipping - we have seen suspiciously little coverage of this in the vlogs from my memory - I'd love to hear their approach to this. Food is expensive over there! We were eating entrees only and don't drink alcohol and most meals were costing about $100 plus tip for four. I guess sharing one entree, one diet coke and eight Blue Moons probably comes to near that. I also guess that printing the tip suggestions for 15, 18 and 20% tips is a waste of time for the tightwads!
Have more when I get time..
NoChinga.
We (me, the wife and two teenagers) have just returned from Orlando. A few thoughts with respect to our mutual 'friends'.
1. The bloody serrated knife. Panic not, I've sussed this one. Imagine my delight one night just off International Drive when we decided to save some cash and try Golden Corral for tea. Then imagine the collective 'a-ha' moment when we were presented with our cutlery - including EXACTLY the same serrated knife Chef P uses to chop onions. Am I allowed to suggest he put one in his handbag on one of their many visits here? Knowing him he'd be proud to chop with a 'free' knife.
2. DAS - two of our party have orthopaedic issues, one awaiting surgery. We were blessed to have the opportunity to use DAS to avoid them having to stand in queues and be able to wait 'virtually'- it at least doubled what we were able to physically manage. If crowd levels when we were there are anything to go by, there's no way they could do the amount of things they show on vlogs without it. (Given that there's no way Prick would pay for Lightning lanes or Genie+).
3. Tipping - we have seen suspiciously little coverage of this in the vlogs from my memory - I'd love to hear their approach to this. Food is expensive over there! We were eating entrees only and don't drink alcohol and most meals were costing about $100 plus tip for four. I guess sharing one entree, one diet coke and eight Blue Moons probably comes to near that. I also guess that printing the tip suggestions for 15, 18 and 20% tips is a waste of time for the tightwads!
Have more when I get time..
NoChinga.
Geetbo
VIP Member
He'll probably take an online course and become an oil sheikh prior to the trip.Must soon be time for the camper van trip?We might see it by October! Prick will regale us with how cheap it is and how he’s done the whole trip on £50 diesel.
Liar guys camping it up with camper van curry,IBS so he can escape the kids and go the pub, and facts aplenty on Cornwalls camp sites in metres squared
christinecolour
Member
It’s so embarrassing as they think they are famous. My friend works for virgin and was on there flight in March when they sat economy. I shit you not she came home and text me and said I had famous vloggers on the plane today. I replied who. She said two old guys. I thought it was Adam and Gary. She said no not them. I said the lodge guys. She said yeah that’s them. I said they are not famous
she said well they told me they were famous vloggers with millions of views. I swear on my life that’s what was said. Since then I have hated the fuckers.
geordiegirl
VIP Member
Thanks to @Red Fraggle for the new thread title!
Welcome to the newbies who despise them as much as we do!
Prev thread here:
As you were
Welcome to the newbies who despise them as much as we do!
Prev thread here:
The Lodge Guys #25 Vlogs, vlogs, vlogs ... but we're travel agents now, not Joe Bloggs
Thanks to @swipeup for the shiny new thread title! Prev thread here: https://tattle.life/threads/the-lodge-guys-24-theyre-so-vain-i-bet-they-think-this-thread-is-about-them.31185/ Roundup: They’re still weapons grade c**ts! As you were!
tattle.life
As you were
Squirrel108
Well-known member
I think It’s now only fair to list Pouty‘s achievements also. As we know he has a different skill set but still brings just as much to the party….
1. CAMERA MAN - we must commend him. After all these slogs his standard of camerawork is just the same as it ever was……!! The way he wizzes the camera round like the exorcist on acid on a supposed room/camera tour whilst simultaneously shaking his hairy paw in front of the screen, describing a cupboard thingy or a something or other is remarkable. Repeat this for town tours. He shows us a statue of somebody or other and a church thingy. Theme parks. No idea who these characters are, never heard of that film, and the latest gem, when wandering round in the midst of the queens jubilee, the streets festooned with bunting and union flags ; he shows us a knitted scene on a post box with a lady holding a corgi surrounded by all things patriotic ( don’t you just love Britain) and speculates it could be Mary Poppins!!! Genius. But why would he want to actually show us the town or theme park with a coherent explanation, when he can zoom In on Prick’s head as it zips through the crowds half a mile ahead. Why linger on a menu for his faithful followers to actually read what’s on it, when he can show us yet more shots of shared offerings, Prick‘s eye bags and his own gurning features. Leading me to……
2. EDITOR - now we see some real expertise, you can guarantee he always shows his partners bullying best side, camera lingering on that 2nd blue moon glass ,then moving to his own lime and soda or some drink or other . Lovingly leaving in Prick’s eye bags, bruises and general angry demeanour, whilst subtlety photoshopping his own face like a sneaky smiling assassin. Leaving in every minute of Prick‘s cringeworthy non cooking skills, every burnt offering, every bit of wrong information, showing all his ‘unique’ knife skills. Yep it’s all there.
3. WORK ETHIC- where do I start with this one, I’m guessing a good couple of hours before pouty! The way he flits round T’ lodge with a J -cloth, flicking here and there whilst dancing round the worktops, achieving nothing,all the ‘cleaning up after Nick‘ , the hours he spends at that ironing board, teeth gritted, ironing every crease out of all the shirts they are taking on their latest adventure. Alas, it is all for nothing as they both only seem to need a couple of tee shirts where ever their travels take them🥹. No wonder he is exhausted and can’t finish sweeping the patio for their guests, and don’t forget he has all that editing to do, there are just not enough hours in the day!!
4. LINGUIST- I could listen to him all day, his knowledge and command of the English language is like nothing I have seen before in any vlogger. The way all the mis pronunciations roll off his tongue, so easily, and not forgetting it is all on purpose! This of course only adds to the comedic value of the slog. Amazing! Imagine my delight when I learnt he was being sponsored to learn to speak incorrectly in another language, bravo Speakly, bravo, an inspired choice. We only got a tantalising glimpse of his new skills last time in France, a muttered mercy and a self conscious Bonjour. I am sure he will learn quickly and next time he ventures across the channel he will be almost fluent. It will be deux, pardon I mean un toasted tea cake a La currant and lune bleue s‘il vous plait galore! Let’s hope he tries a conversation with a particularly angry Frenchman, causes offence with his mangled franglais, which earns him La punch to the kidneys and a couple of nuits in L’ hospital 
5. DRESS SENSE - just like the other half of the dastardly duo, he dresses with the panache of someone double his age!! From the way he wears his Lonsdale socks and vans to the baseball cap (which makes him look spookily like rain man )for a sedate drive in James. He doesn’t ever look a day over 60
6. SOCIAL SKILLS- Pouty likes nothing better than being amongst people, whether it is meet ups with ‘us friends’ outings with family, or caravan park meet ups , he loves them all. A social butterfly he flits between his fans with no hint of awkwardness at all. His favourite times though are the precious times as a foursome with their special friends Mark and Hannah
. I am sure they are a lovely couple, though they hide it so well!! The tragic twosome come across as boring, monosyllabic chavs, who dump their kids at the drop of a hat to hang onto the shed scammers coat tails in the hope sharing their ‘fame’. Anyway I certainly believe they are a foursome made in heaven, and I look forward to more vlogs of freebies, particularly where a meal in a nice restaurant is involved and they show us their real selves……
I’m done now I promise . I’ll get my coat
1. CAMERA MAN - we must commend him. After all these slogs his standard of camerawork is just the same as it ever was……!! The way he wizzes the camera round like the exorcist on acid on a supposed room/camera tour whilst simultaneously shaking his hairy paw in front of the screen, describing a cupboard thingy or a something or other is remarkable. Repeat this for town tours. He shows us a statue of somebody or other and a church thingy. Theme parks. No idea who these characters are, never heard of that film, and the latest gem, when wandering round in the midst of the queens jubilee, the streets festooned with bunting and union flags ; he shows us a knitted scene on a post box with a lady holding a corgi surrounded by all things patriotic ( don’t you just love Britain) and speculates it could be Mary Poppins!!! Genius
. But why would he want to actually show us the town or theme park with a coherent explanation, when he can zoom In on Prick’s head as it zips through the crowds half a mile ahead. Why linger on a menu for his faithful followers to actually read what’s on it, when he can show us yet more shots of shared offerings, Prick‘s eye bags and his own gurning features. Leading me to……2. EDITOR - now we see some real expertise, you can guarantee he always shows his partners bullying best side, camera lingering on that 2nd blue moon glass ,then moving to his own lime and soda or some drink or other
. Lovingly leaving in Prick’s eye bags, bruises and general angry demeanour, whilst subtlety photoshopping his own face like a sneaky smiling assassin. Leaving in every minute of Prick‘s cringeworthy non cooking skills, every burnt offering, every bit of wrong information, showing all his ‘unique’ knife skills. Yep it’s all there.3. WORK ETHIC- where do I start with this one, I’m guessing a good couple of hours before pouty! The way he flits round T’ lodge with a J -cloth, flicking here and there whilst dancing round the worktops, achieving nothing,all the ‘cleaning up after Nick‘ , the hours he spends at that ironing board, teeth gritted, ironing every crease out of all the shirts they are taking on their latest adventure. Alas, it is all for nothing as they both only seem to need a couple of tee shirts where ever their travels take them🥹. No wonder he is exhausted and can’t finish sweeping the patio for their guests, and don’t forget he has all that editing to do, there are just not enough hours in the day!!
4. LINGUIST- I could listen to him all day, his knowledge and command of the English language is like nothing I have seen before in any vlogger
. The way all the mis pronunciations roll off his tongue, so easily, and not forgetting it is all on purpose! This of course only adds to the comedic value of the slog. Amazing! Imagine my delight when I learnt he was being sponsored to learn to speak incorrectly in another language, bravo Speakly, bravo, an inspired choice. We only got a tantalising glimpse of his new skills last time in France, a muttered mercy and a self conscious Bonjour. I am sure he will learn quickly and next time he ventures across the channel he will be almost fluent. It will be deux, pardon I mean un toasted tea cake a La currant and lune bleue s‘il vous plait galore! Let’s hope he tries a conversation with a particularly angry Frenchman, causes offence with his mangled franglais, which earns him La punch to the kidneys and a couple of nuits in L’ hospital 5. DRESS SENSE - just like the other half of the dastardly duo, he dresses with the panache of someone double his age!! From the way he wears his Lonsdale socks and vans to the baseball cap (which makes him look spookily like rain man )for a sedate drive in James. He doesn’t ever look a day over 60
6. SOCIAL SKILLS- Pouty likes nothing better than being amongst people, whether it is meet ups with ‘us friends’ outings with family, or caravan park meet ups , he loves them all. A social butterfly he flits between his fans with no hint of awkwardness at all. His favourite times though are the precious times as a foursome with their special friends Mark and Hannah
. I am sure they are a lovely couple, though they hide it so well!! The tragic twosome come across as boring, monosyllabic chavs, who dump their kids at the drop of a hat to hang onto the shed scammers coat tails in the hope sharing their ‘fame’. Anyway I certainly believe they are a foursome made in heaven, and I look forward to more vlogs of freebies, particularly where a meal in a nice restaurant is involved and they show us their real selves……I’m done now I promise . I’ll get my coat
christinecolour
Member
I only found tattle today
I am friends with some of there members who are now finding out about this some of them are leaving before the end of the month. They want nothing more to do with them
I am friends with some of there members who are now finding out about this some of them are leaving before the end of the month. They want nothing more to do with them
Silent85
VIP Member
Because he’s a cunt
OrlandoJonesy123
Chatty Member
Been quiet on here recently as I’m currently in Orlando 
so not had much time to catch up on the turds freeloading more trips. From what I’ve seen I’ve missed absolutely nothing that I haven’t seen in every other one of their slogs. Prick still chasing the booze at every possible moment, still being creepy with Mark, Hannah still having less of a personality than an ant and Pouty fancying a coffee and being starving. Just seen the champagne tour one. Bet that air bnb was gifted but they’ve kept quiet. Anything for a fucking freebie. Looks like they used every single coffee pod. Probably bagged the rest. France feeling so French, Disney feeling, you know, so Disney. Beggars belief what tripe falls out of the two queens’ mouths! To top it off they are now advertising Speakly so far he’s uttered the words Bonjour and merci and got them the wrong way around. Pouty is arguably the thickest arsehole I’ve ever encountered. Speakly must be chuffed.
And finally for someone who brought a million tops with him I’ve only seen that mank as fuck hoodie make any appearances (plus the hungover sunglasses indoors obviously) and that cream pair of shorts which are a particularly dangerous colour bearing in mind he likes to turd in them on a frequent basis.
so not had much time to catch up on the turds freeloading more trips. From what I’ve seen I’ve missed absolutely nothing that I haven’t seen in every other one of their slogs. Prick still chasing the booze at every possible moment, still being creepy with Mark, Hannah still having less of a personality than an ant and Pouty fancying a coffee and being starving. Just seen the champagne tour one. Bet that air bnb was gifted but they’ve kept quiet. Anything for a fucking freebie. Looks like they used every single coffee pod. Probably bagged the rest. France feeling so French, Disney feeling, you know, so Disney. Beggars belief what tripe falls out of the two queens’ mouths! To top it off they are now advertising Speakly so far he’s uttered the words Bonjour and merci and got them the wrong way around. Pouty is arguably the thickest arsehole I’ve ever encountered. Speakly must be chuffed.And finally for someone who brought a million tops with him I’ve only seen that mank as fuck hoodie make any appearances (plus the hungover sunglasses indoors obviously) and that cream pair of shorts which are a particularly dangerous colour bearing in mind he likes to turd in them on a frequent basis.