The Kearns #29 Brandley is always working late, so Big Sez has to masturbate

[Bobley_the_1st]

Well done to @SmallDickEnergy for our new thread title The Kearns #29 Brandley is always working late, so Big Sez has to masturbate. You win a John Deere mower, and a years worth of sex toys in a nicely packed lunchbox for your efforts. I’ll pop it in the post.

whats been happening in swamp ville. The kids started a new school which has been on the downlow. Sez and brad took up a two week trial at their local gym, which is only about 45mins away and neither of them actually went back to, but anything for a buck. Speaking of, sez has hit a deal to pump out the sex toys. Just what we always wanted to think about, sez getting her rocks off. Guess with Braddles working a million hours a week, missing bedtime and mowing that lawn someone needs to whack sezs bush a bit. Who better than sez to service sez!

 

[notgifted]

Thanks @SmallDickEnergy for the prolonged visual in the new thread title the gift that will keep on giving.

 

[DoomScroller]

Bloody hell…. How did we end up here?!?

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Thanks for the new thread and the brilliant recap @Bobley_the_1st. Not sure @SmallDickEnergy deserves a prize this week, but I guess as Sez always says (when she’s being paid to do so), let’s take the shame out of female pleasure by having front and centre in a thread title. Paraphrased a bit.

 

[Crockjock]

Soooo look forward to the brilliant recaps.

 

[canijustsay]

So which one was it?

 

[Plagiarou]

I hope this thread has all the features I would expect.

 

[Severus Snark]

Fantastic thread title @SmallDickEnergy! I does make me want to sick up a little though, better have a spewy handy!

 

[Bobley_the_1st]

I hope this thread has all the features I would expect.

Yeah, it’s value for money, discreet, and really just, umm, what you need, umm yeah

 

[MostSegsualNarc]

Strong love/hate feelings about this thread title
Funny as duck, but also induces the kind of nightmares one may never fully recover from.
Though if I'm forced to choose my nightmare, Sez & the big battery-operated vibe is still less scarring than imagining Little Man throwing his chipolata down the hallway

 

[Scrollonby]

This title is gold! Well done @SmallDickEnergy !

 

[Eliza-Ann]

Strong love/hate feelings about this thread title
Funny as duck, but also induces the kind of nightmares one may never fully recover from.

Has booked us all in for therapy. Double checked it wasn't the same therapy you have for 16 different public schools and big W clothes lol
The thread title is the best but we also need a spewy each lol

 

[DoomScroller]

Just to wrap up Valentines Day with the Kearnts.

Sez whinged that Brad wouldn’t be there today because he had to go to “work”.
Brad then went to gym in the morning and picked up crappy bogan flowers for Sarah.
Sarah apparently super surprised that he did this.
Sarah also chose to advertise a *speaks quietly* s*x toy.
Brad then went and write a post about how great it is that he purchased flowers and posted a photo of himself with flowers. Youngest child picked a flower at school… allegedly did so because of Brandleys flower purchase this morning.

Head pats all round for the swamp family.

 

[pleasestop1]

Please no more ‘toy’ stories,

She looks so uncomfortable, there is no way she has ever even touched it except for in this terrible ads.
Someone should message her and ask if she’s even actually knows how many different speeds or just reading from the script she’s been sent. This just annoys me so much.

 

[SmallDickEnergy]

Well done to @SmallDickEnergy for our new thread title The Kearns #29 Brandley is always working late, so Big Sez has to masturbate. You win a John Deere mower, and a years worth of sex toys in a nicely packed lunchbox for your efforts. I’ll pop it in the post.

Thank you for supporting our family with such a generous price pack @Bobley_the_1st but I can’t accept. I’m simply too repulsed at myself and this title! I meant it as a joke but it appears we Tattlers are a fucked up bunch Thanks for all the votes, I love being loved by you all!

 

[Fostercat24]

So what did Brandley get for Valentines Day?

 

[Watermeloncracker]

Sunday: I totally love and attend fitness first!

Tuesday: psych!

 

[Bobley_the_1st]

Thank you for supporting our family with such a generous price pack @Bobley_the_1st but I can’t accept. I’m simply too repulsed at myself and this title! I meant it as a joke but it appears we Tattlers are a fucked up bunch Thanks for all the votes, I love being loved by you all!

Aww, what about a bunch of rainbow roses and a card?! As a sign of our love and devotion, not an after thought
---

So what did Brandley get for Valentines Day?

He gets to help sez with her toys…

 

[screenfreelookatme]

Sunday: I totally love and attend fitness first!

View attachment 1958864

Tuesday: psych!

View attachment 1958869View attachment 1958870View attachment 1958872

Haha you win today
---

I have zero issue with influencers spruiking sex toys, but it has to make sense. She’s so disingenuous with everything that she does. I know nothing about that toy or why I’d buy that over another product. Nothing she said makes me want to buy it. I also don’t believe she uses it. If she was uncomfortable, say no, or if you’re that hard up for cash, and at least make light of how awkward you’re finding it.

I’ve never seen an influencer do such a bad job of it. Abbie Chatfield (even Jessii Wilson!!!) make me actually consider trying what they promote.

 

[Eliza-Ann]

So what did Brandley get for Valentines Day?

A quickie lol